Very vulnerable and feel afraid. False allegations against me.

[MountainGoat]

Thankyou Ash and Peanut21.

You are absolutely right.....someone who is actually focussed on the children and who didnt come in when my ex made allegations which totally put the first social worker on my stbx side.
I am sounding more positive however I do have worry in the back of my mind as I have seen it time and time again where when my stbx doesnt get what she wants and she will call the police / invent more lies / add new stuff to her statements / or basically cause problems.

I'm so looking forward to seeing my son and daughter tomorrow however I have that feeling that she could just stop me and once again cause me a terrible weekend without my kids. Hopefully as I've been told by the social worker anything she does now can be used as evidence and be included in the section7 report. I have 2 more meetings with the social worker where he is going to ask me questions for the section 7 report.

I am almost 100% certain the fact my stbx didnt want me to have nights was so that she could claim more from the me via the CMS. She has already said she wants me to pay via the 20% extra option which I've said a big fat No to as there is no reason to and I've been paying into her bank account without issues until she put this claim in. What is great is that the social worker sees and has told her there is nothing to stop nights.
Her solicitor can't do anything as this is official from the social worker.

My stbx is crazy. I was informed via the social worker that she claims I am still trying to show control over her because I have things still in my own home. Some things I can't move a tthe moment and she seems to think she can get me to just move everything. She wasnt happy when I sent back a truck load of stuff that had been sent unanounced and without agreement to my parents home late in the evening.

Ash, the divorce final order (Decree absolute) is what is coming up.
I have emailed her solicitor many times to sort out a mutual date to exchange the financial document but she has not replied. I am now told she will get back to me regarding finacials shortly. I believe financials can be done anytime.
There may be a way that I cant share her pension if we waited until now but to be honest I am not bothered about pensions.
I just want the house and posessions divided and if she wants to stay put, which I hope she will do for the purpose and wellbeing of the children, then she buys me out.
If anyone knows otherwise please let me know.

There are so many things this crazy stbx is doing that I really want the courts to open their eyes too!

 

[Ash]

Yes that’s all positive re the social worker - but still be careful not to say anything negative and critical about your ex to him or he could become less helpful or say you’re both as bad as each other. She’s doing a good job of showing the social worker what she’s like all on her own

I smell a bit of a rat re the divorce being finalised before the finances. It probably will indeed be to prevent you having a claim on her pension. I’d also be concerned that the division of the house is t finalised before the decree absolute. I’ll see what others who know more about divorce say - eg @Roblox .

They may be going for the idea that ex keeps the house until kids are 18 or something - just be very careful over this one.

 

[MountainGoat]

Thankyou.
As some of you know I have a solicitor for dealing with the court trial that she is putting me through and I just asked her what she thought about the house. She mentioned that courts ruling to give houses to one parent until the children are 18 is becoming less likely and that they recommend to sell, especially when the other party has no money to start their own life again.
I know that stbx has the means to buy me out so I hope she does the right thing for the children.

 

[Peanut 21]

Yep, you can never be complacent with these types of women.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

 

[Roblox]

On the divorce, I don't think you can get the divorce finalised until finances are agreed as the courts need to sign off on it? Unless things have changed since the no fault divorce has been brought in.

Yeah I think what you're referring to is a mesher order where typically Mom stays in the house until the kids are say 18 or there's a trigger point. As you mention less common these days as I think like with spousal maintenance it was more common when Dad worked and Mom stayed home with the kids.