Thankyou Oneofmany. Just when you try and be strong things like this go and make you feel like absolute crap.
But I agree with you, we have to be strong and keep going.
But I agree with you, we have to be strong and keep going.
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Very vulnerable and feel afraid. False allegations against me.
- Thread starter MountainGoat
- Start date
Hi everyone,
I thought I'd give an update.
I have the final hearing at the end of March and last weekend as it was half term I saw my kids for two days in the week.
They had an awesome time as they had been wanting to go to a theme park so we did that and it was good fun.
Now on the last day when I was meant to bring the kids back home I suddenly get a call out of the blue to say the social worker will be coming to see me and the kids and she will be taking the kids back instead. This was news to me and no one had told me.
On top of all this, this is the 3rd social worker as one left, and then my ex made a complaint against the next one as she didnt side with her! so there was then another, and now this new one.
So I accepted it but my kids were not happy at all. They hate the social workers as I completly understand and played up when the social worker came over.
I had to explain that they don't like the social workers and that they would prefer I take them home as we talk and sing songs in the car.
So she agreed and my children were happy that I took them home instead.
The problem is that the social worker came for barely an hour and knows hardly anything about the case.
She didnt have time to get to know me, hear my concerns or anything.
She has to write a report with child arrangement recommendations for the court and this needs to be in on Friday.
How on earth can this be possible? I've asked for an emergency meeting and they are not getting back to me. I sent emails two weeks ago highlighting that they need to look into things deeper as assumtions are being made and they refuse to look into things becuase of the domestic violence allegations.
So for example, the fact my stbx stated she is petrified and cant do half the journeys as she accused my parents of blocking her in the car park has been believed. They do not realise that I would be with my kids if my ex hadnt forced me out the house with lies. She has lied from day one to get her way with false allegations.
I cant seem to get the message through that due to my stbx's allegations it has ruined my life with my kids.
The courts seem to be going by everything the social workers say so it's highly important they delve into all this yet they are not taking a moment to even bother seeing me. And this new social worker hasnt got a clue about my situaiton.
I dont know what to do.
Thankyou.
I thought I'd give an update.
I have the final hearing at the end of March and last weekend as it was half term I saw my kids for two days in the week.
They had an awesome time as they had been wanting to go to a theme park so we did that and it was good fun.
Now on the last day when I was meant to bring the kids back home I suddenly get a call out of the blue to say the social worker will be coming to see me and the kids and she will be taking the kids back instead. This was news to me and no one had told me.
On top of all this, this is the 3rd social worker as one left, and then my ex made a complaint against the next one as she didnt side with her! so there was then another, and now this new one.
So I accepted it but my kids were not happy at all. They hate the social workers as I completly understand and played up when the social worker came over.
I had to explain that they don't like the social workers and that they would prefer I take them home as we talk and sing songs in the car.
So she agreed and my children were happy that I took them home instead.
The problem is that the social worker came for barely an hour and knows hardly anything about the case.
She didnt have time to get to know me, hear my concerns or anything.
She has to write a report with child arrangement recommendations for the court and this needs to be in on Friday.
How on earth can this be possible? I've asked for an emergency meeting and they are not getting back to me. I sent emails two weeks ago highlighting that they need to look into things deeper as assumtions are being made and they refuse to look into things becuase of the domestic violence allegations.
So for example, the fact my stbx stated she is petrified and cant do half the journeys as she accused my parents of blocking her in the car park has been believed. They do not realise that I would be with my kids if my ex hadnt forced me out the house with lies. She has lied from day one to get her way with false allegations.
I cant seem to get the message through that due to my stbx's allegations it has ruined my life with my kids.
The courts seem to be going by everything the social workers say so it's highly important they delve into all this yet they are not taking a moment to even bother seeing me. And this new social worker hasnt got a clue about my situaiton.
I dont know what to do.
Thankyou.
I’m afraid this is very much par for the course. Cafcass (is it Cafcass or a social worker) will tirelessly cherry-pick information and only listen to hearsay from the parent who has majority care. It is not Cafcass’ role to adjudicate or fact-find but sadly they often assume that position. Their default position is in favour of the status quo and in favour of the parent with majority of care. My experience is that they then construct an argument that supports their previously held position. Your only recourse is to challenge the lack of objectivity in court (and in the written submissions you make to court), ideally with the help of a barrister. If there are clear factual errors in the report you can write to the author and request they are amended. But a barrister might say that these errors can form part of the challenge he/she makes in court.
Hi everyone,
As you know my stbx and her solicitor are causing me a million problems with awful letters and never getting back to me.
We agreed on a date to exchange financials information back in early November. I submitted everything and worked my ass off to get it in on time.
She missed the deadline and ofcourse read all my stuff first, including my form E.
I contacted her solicitor who said stbx was waiting on pension value information. I chased this up again in January, stbx is still waiting.
Contacted them last week to say that this is enough and we can actually start discussing financials even if she doesnt have this info as yet and kicked up a fuss. An hour later the pension info is sent over.
Now what really pisses me off is the fact that they said they didnt have this information and were waiting for it.
They didnt realise that the letters they have sent from the pensions company to my stbx are all dated as being sent to the house on 8th November.
So they've been taking me for a fool for 5 months when they clearly had all this already as is shown on the dated letters.
I want the house sold and to get it all sorted but they are just messing me around.
I have my kids not wanting to come round as they feel like they are camping when I could be having my share of the house to start my life again, buy my property and give the kids their own rooms, a base to call their own, etc.
I'm absolutely fuming! Is there anything I can do?
Thankyou.
As you know my stbx and her solicitor are causing me a million problems with awful letters and never getting back to me.
We agreed on a date to exchange financials information back in early November. I submitted everything and worked my ass off to get it in on time.
She missed the deadline and ofcourse read all my stuff first, including my form E.
I contacted her solicitor who said stbx was waiting on pension value information. I chased this up again in January, stbx is still waiting.
Contacted them last week to say that this is enough and we can actually start discussing financials even if she doesnt have this info as yet and kicked up a fuss. An hour later the pension info is sent over.
Now what really pisses me off is the fact that they said they didnt have this information and were waiting for it.
They didnt realise that the letters they have sent from the pensions company to my stbx are all dated as being sent to the house on 8th November.
So they've been taking me for a fool for 5 months when they clearly had all this already as is shown on the dated letters.
I want the house sold and to get it all sorted but they are just messing me around.
I have my kids not wanting to come round as they feel like they are camping when I could be having my share of the house to start my life again, buy my property and give the kids their own rooms, a base to call their own, etc.
I'm absolutely fuming! Is there anything I can do?
Thankyou.
Hey everyone,
I'm absolutely bricking it. The social worker who is producing yet another section 7 report is late filing it so I only have a week to respond.
My whole life with my kids rides on this social workers report which is what the court asked them to do.
They've barely seen me with the children and dont see the bigger picture.
I have to have my response in by 17th March and then final hearing on 31st March.
I have no barrister and even though the letter said I may be appointed one for this final hearing it is also possible that I won't/ They are meant to get back to me to say whether I will or won't but so far nothing.
I then need to provide a list of questions to be asked to my stbx.
I'm really worried I'm going to drown in all this.
I'm absolutely bricking it. The social worker who is producing yet another section 7 report is late filing it so I only have a week to respond.
My whole life with my kids rides on this social workers report which is what the court asked them to do.
They've barely seen me with the children and dont see the bigger picture.
I have to have my response in by 17th March and then final hearing on 31st March.
I have no barrister and even though the letter said I may be appointed one for this final hearing it is also possible that I won't/ They are meant to get back to me to say whether I will or won't but so far nothing.
I then need to provide a list of questions to be asked to my stbx.
I'm really worried I'm going to drown in all this.
I am sure as a community we can help and support in different ways. Many folks have been in this place. Do shout if I can do anything at all
Thankyou. I just feel like the social workers have no clue and just want this off their case. There has been 3 different social workers so theyve never got to know me properly or take what I say seriously.
They know my stbx made DV allegations and believe everythinbg she says. I've not been found guilty so how can they presume that I will be guilty?
I have to pick up my kids two streets away due to stbx's allegations and eveything just causes problems.
I'm also out of my own home and still paying the mortgage. My kids don't like coming to me as ofcourse all their posessions and life is in the family home. It is so hard!
They know my stbx made DV allegations and believe everythinbg she says. I've not been found guilty so how can they presume that I will be guilty?
I have to pick up my kids two streets away due to stbx's allegations and eveything just causes problems.
I'm also out of my own home and still paying the mortgage. My kids don't like coming to me as ofcourse all their posessions and life is in the family home. It is so hard!
It is NOT a Cafcass worker’s role to fact-find. Their role is to base their recommendations on established facts. If a court gives a judgment based on hearsay and subjective opinion given in a Cafcass or Social Worker’s report then it is short circuiting the justice system and the decision would be open to appeal. Focus on that which is under your control. And prepare yourself for a shitty social worker or Cafcass report. Gather evidence that supports your story, ensure you are able to present it in a clear manner. When the report comes, note all the factual inaccuracies and note all the conclusions based on supposition rather than fact.
I don’t know whether it’s a comfort or not, but many have unfortunately been put in your position. Emphasise how reliable your character is and how well you have comported yourself throughout proceedings. Try not to resort to too many ad hominem attacks on the other parent when you prepare statements etc. Ensure that all that you do is child-focussed. Speak to people about it to relieve your pressure. Take breaks. Get fresh air.