Unfortunately it isn't going to get easier with your ex, until you have the court helping in the matter, and a legal order saying days and times in the interim. The C100 is your best bet to properly see your children, and not trying to be amicable or come to agreements with ex. She isn't interested in being amicable.
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Very vulnerable and feel afraid. False allegations against me.
- Thread starter MountainGoat
- Start date
Ok so little update: My daughter told her mum she wanted to go for a meal with me on her birthday and she’s made a note of it and of course I’ve given plenty of advanced warning. If she was to go back on it now she would be causing huge upset to my daughter so I’m hoping she sticks to this.
I’ve actually got the children coming to me on New Year’s Eve and Day and have even told stbx that I have no problem with the kids calling her on New Year’s Day. I want to show I’m not restricting anything here and want to show I’m doing good.
She wants them back the following day but my solicitor advised her otherwise so will be sticking to my plan.
I’ve actually got the children coming to me on New Year’s Eve and Day and have even told stbx that I have no problem with the kids calling her on New Year’s Day. I want to show I’m not restricting anything here and want to show I’m doing good.
She wants them back the following day but my solicitor advised her otherwise so will be sticking to my plan.
What are your bail conditions @MountainGoat? Is this for the non mol hearing and is that still going ahead or you've already attended?
So this is regarding an investigation when I was arrested for coercive behaviour / stalking due to the fact I was messaging my stbx asking questions as to why all this was happening out of the blue with no warning and why she was accusing me of a million allegations. I was also contacting her to sort out child arrangements. All of this is pretty normal.
Of course the police will have seen loads of photos and documents and whatever I could find to try and prove my innocence so there would have been cctv clips, etc. Ofcourse the police will wonder why on earth I have all that but I did tell them.
They also think I’ve been stalking her which is total rubbish. Never stopped her going out, seeing friends, etc.
Always been there for her.
She thinks when she was ill I was trying to stop her doing things when in fact I’ve tried hard to protect her.
So need this police matter out the way.
The non mol and non occupation matter is still looming as she failed to get her evidence in on time for that.
Been awake since 3am. Thinking about everything. My kids just want our family back together again. I can’t even talk to my ex about any of this due to not being allowed to talk to her.
This should have never got to this point.
Feel so sad it’s got to this.
This should have never got to this point.
Feel so sad it’s got to this.
It's true they may want that, but even if you did get together again it would be pretty hostile and there wouldn't be any trust, not a good environment for kids. You are better off detaching yourself as much as you can from your relationship, it isn't helping. Are you having counselling? It would help a lot.
This isn't supposed to be easy, but it will get better, the ups and downs are normal, you'll feel better again, then maybe sad, then better. It does get better and better, but you do need to be thinking of your kids and only your kids, not getting back together with your ex. I know it's hard, we are here with you
This isn't supposed to be easy, but it will get better, the ups and downs are normal, you'll feel better again, then maybe sad, then better. It does get better and better, but you do need to be thinking of your kids and only your kids, not getting back together with your ex. I know it's hard, we are here with you
I know you are right. It is just very unfair that this has been done in this way.
A divorce and dealing with your children is a huge thing in itself so having to deal with her throwing orders and police accusations where I’m being investigated gives little time to focus properly.
I had started a free therapy counselling via the nhs but it truly wasn’t working. It was more about learning how to stop worrying than letting me talk and help with dealing with each situation and understanding things. I may have to look into paid options that could be more beneficial.
Unfortunately right now I need to save every penny as have a non molestation and non occupation order to contest and fight.
I guess the thing I just wish is she could see the harm all this is doing.
The problem is even though the police didn’t take things further and no further action taken, she still believes I assaulted her. Surely that shows something is not right in her head!
I wish she could realise me and the kids do care and want her to go and get help.
A divorce and dealing with your children is a huge thing in itself so having to deal with her throwing orders and police accusations where I’m being investigated gives little time to focus properly.
I had started a free therapy counselling via the nhs but it truly wasn’t working. It was more about learning how to stop worrying than letting me talk and help with dealing with each situation and understanding things. I may have to look into paid options that could be more beneficial.
Unfortunately right now I need to save every penny as have a non molestation and non occupation order to contest and fight.
I guess the thing I just wish is she could see the harm all this is doing.
The problem is even though the police didn’t take things further and no further action taken, she still believes I assaulted her. Surely that shows something is not right in her head!
I wish she could realise me and the kids do care and want her to go and get help.
Stop caring about her, of course she's saying you assaulted her, she can't go through doing all that and then be seen as a liar to everyone, she needs to be a the poor little victim at all costs. Imagine she is like a robot with a circuit that always points to her being a victim. Makes it easier to predict what she will do.
She cannot divorce and garner sympathy for her braveness if she isn't a victim. She needs to be the victim at all costs.
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I’m really hoping that 2024 brings you the strength to break away from your ex and see her true colours. It’s tough I know and it’s sometimes hard to accept when the person you loved/still love doesn’t want you anymore and is doing all she can to mess your life up. Pull the wool over your eyes! Gaslight you and basically I’m a nut shell fuck with your head. This woman sounds vile! I’m sorry to be blunt but please detach from this woman and fight for your kids not your ex
It’s very interesting that I’ve been talking to a family friend that lives on other side of the country about all this and surprise surprise I hear that stbx has been down there to see said friend and when I phoned them today they couldn’t be quicker to end the call and treated me as if I was dirt.
There has got to be a change to the law or something done to stop this. As fathers we are getting our whole lives and names ruined which not only means we lose friends but can have huge impacts on our jobs too.
The world needs to wake up to these behaviours where as dads we are being alienated from our kids and painted as monsters to the world.
There has got to be a change to the law or something done to stop this. As fathers we are getting our whole lives and names ruined which not only means we lose friends but can have huge impacts on our jobs too.
The world needs to wake up to these behaviours where as dads we are being alienated from our kids and painted as monsters to the world.
Forget a solicitor, depending how busy @Ash is and how kindly you ask him, I'm sure he could run his eyes over it for you and get that submitted asap.
Time is precious!!
That's pretty common unfortunately mate, just move on, that friend may see the light after it is all over, but for now focus on what matters.
The law will change, slowly, more and more judges are seeing what's going on.
But it is what it is right now, you've just got to fight and do everything you can, the C100 is a very important step, is yours in yet?
Nearly there with the C100. Had work and seeing the kids so not had much time but looking at this at the weekend.
Had the kids yesterday. Made it clear by my solicitor she would pick them up. She wouldn’t have even seen me. Just my mum taking them to the car when she arrives.
I get a call out the blue by adult social services that she refuses to pick them up as it would be a breach of non mol order. My solicitor said that’s absolute bollycks.
She’s playing the system. Now my 77 year old mum is having to drive them home.
Despicable!
Had the kids yesterday. Made it clear by my solicitor she would pick them up. She wouldn’t have even seen me. Just my mum taking them to the car when she arrives.
I get a call out the blue by adult social services that she refuses to pick them up as it would be a breach of non mol order. My solicitor said that’s absolute bollycks.
She’s playing the system. Now my 77 year old mum is having to drive them home.
Despicable!
These are all mind games she is playing as a distraction so that your mind is not in the right frame. You need to detach yourself emotionally from everything. She has brought your mother in the picture as a means to trigger your emotions. Men don’t think properly when their emotions are triggered. Stay focused and hand in the C100. Let her know that you have handed in one, then play dumb. A snake is a snake bro, treat her like one. She is not your partner anymore.
Section 5b is the important bit.
Absolutely heart broken.
Was meant to be taking my kid for her birthday and stbx has just said that won’t be happening. My daughter had even confirmed it with her and is very much looking forward to it.
She has autism and this is going to mess her up big time as she likes routine and planning things.
Just because stbx got pissed off when we asked her to be fair and pick up the children instead of us doing all the trips she is now using the children as a weapon against me. Can I call social services and report this as this is child cruelty and denying the children access to what they’ve asked to do?
Was meant to be taking my kid for her birthday and stbx has just said that won’t be happening. My daughter had even confirmed it with her and is very much looking forward to it.
She has autism and this is going to mess her up big time as she likes routine and planning things.
Just because stbx got pissed off when we asked her to be fair and pick up the children instead of us doing all the trips she is now using the children as a weapon against me. Can I call social services and report this as this is child cruelty and denying the children access to what they’ve asked to do?
I wouldn’t get social services involved and they probably wouldn’t be interested, sadly. I may e wrong if they’re involved anyway due to the autism. But make a diary note about it. This kind of thing is going to keep happening until you have a Child Arrangements order unfortunately.
Sorry to hear this, and you're right it is very cruel. The quicker the C100 is in the better, because all of this will be taken note of by the court. Get it in as soon as you can, it sounds like you need the court to be fighting for you
but that's only possible once the process is started with a C100. Gdt it over to Ash, he's great at the wording, it has to be a very certain way.