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Advice What can I do???
- Thread starter DB2021
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Trust her! Seriously. She's deranged.
Sadly bath ex and social worker believe that my daughters wishes are the main thing now.
But I know there not her true feelings and have plenty to be able to show that.
Social worker is inept and a disgrace tbh and the ex well won’t even give her the satisfaction of saying what she is.
'A court is to presume, unless the contrary is shown, that involvement of each parent in the life of the child concerned will further the child's welfare.'
Cross references are removed from the above for readability. It is from the beginning of Section 1 of the Children Act.
You do not have to show it is better for your daughter if you are in her life. That is presumed.
Cross references are removed from the above for readability. It is from the beginning of Section 1 of the Children Act.
You do not have to show it is better for your daughter if you are in her life. That is presumed.
Well that’s how it should be Resolute but all of us on here know that isn’t followed correctly most of the time and dads do have to fight tooth and nail to show it’s better for us to be in there lives.
If only it was as simple as the above but I’ve got plenty to show this change in behaviour isn’t normal and is definitely coming from mum.
The email today shows that in spades.
The email does show your ex is behaving abominably, but I am not sure that will be the court's first consideration.
In some ways it is as simple as the above excerpt. I think a part of the reason it gets so difficult is that dads often get pushed into fighting the wrong battles. The document I quoted will be the court's first consideration. It will also be what the court comes back to after hearing all of what you and your ex have to say against each other.
Ohhh of course I understand that mate not saying that the email is the golden nugget for want of a better word more that is evidence to show that despite ex’s words to the so called professionals clearly that’s not the truth and the note plus the email show that.
I’m happy for the court to look at what it states as that’s my main argument but we also know that doesn’t happen and I have to be wary of that.
I’m not going to mud sling just provide what I have and quote ex to the letter and social worker aswell. It’s all I can do and hope for a judge that sees that I am the only one who actually has our daughters best interests at heart.
The key issue is who is doing the welfare report. And if it's that social worker, she is biased (which I know is why you're gearing up for an ISW). Even Cafcass would be a lot better than that Social Worker. Like many she seems to be blinkered and probably thinks she IS being child focused by protecting the child from being in the middle. While being blind to the fact that the Mother is causing the conflict, because she is Mother biased. The attitude should be trained out of social workers, as Dads are not just add-ons to be discarded.
Sadly it will be the social worker as it says in application she is to be there on 2nd Nov. And she was also ordered to do it on my previous application.
That’s the hurdle I must over come and be able to show judge that her view is flawed and that an ISW is needed. As she will 100% go against me in any report doesn’t matter what ex says or does she refuses to consider anything other than I’m the issue and ex is perfect
I think then it sounds essential that you have an ISW lined up before the first hearing and can submit their CV with your position statement and say in your position statement that you would like the court to order an ISW report. Regardless of what Mrs SW says when she comes to court. Don't be rude about her of course but just say you would like an ISW report. As SW has started a Child in need programme she will probably still be around in the background, but the main thing is that you get that ISW report.
Ahhh I see I didn’t even know this.
I thought you did them for the further hearings as what I’m asking for is in initial app
.If you could ash that would be great. I want to go in as strong as I can at first hearing as hands up I’m rubbish at writing things or how to word them anyway.
No rush - you submit it to court a few days before the hearing, take three copies with you. One you give to the ex when you get there, the other is for yourself. The third you hand to the clerk in case the Judge didn't get to see it in advance.
It's called a position statement because it updates "the position" - either since application, or since last hearing etc. So it's an opportunity to update with anything that has happened since you applied or to ask for an interim order (in your case you'd be asking for the current order to be complied with) or anything else you want to say to the Judge for the hearing (eg the ISW stuff). They are helpful as they help you say what you want in advance and less to say on the day.
Ahhh I see sorry but if a novice on them as never had to do one.
Should I remind you closer to time? Say a week before? Don’t want to bug you that’s all.
Not sure I can have the original order followed as little on is fully aligned with mum now so even if ordered she won’t come with me.
It’s probably going to have to be a supported re introduction and one that doesn’t involve ex at handovers or drop offs but no idea how to ask for that or whether a judge would even order that.
As there is no good reason for her stopping your daughter seeing you, it's possible a Judge may just tell her she has to follow the existing order. I can't see it makes much difference if they say supervised or not as your ex could just say she refuses to go to the contact centre (Peanut knows about that one). So I think it would make sense in a position statement to ask that Mrs Ex is required to comply with the existing order while matters are investigated.
Agree with Ash. No safeguarding issues so don't even mention supported or supervised contact.
The contact centre proved valuable for my partner in terms of people finally seeing how he was no threat to his kids but pointless in getting his alienated daughter in. Ironic thing is, the ex has managed to 'encourage' her daughter to see a therapist. But that's only because she's probably triangulated the therapist into her twisted version if events.
Anyway, if you want help with a neutral go between for handovers, you can suggest contact centres specifically for that.
The contact centre proved valuable for my partner in terms of people finally seeing how he was no threat to his kids but pointless in getting his alienated daughter in. Ironic thing is, the ex has managed to 'encourage' her daughter to see a therapist. But that's only because she's probably triangulated the therapist into her twisted version if events.
Anyway, if you want help with a neutral go between for handovers, you can suggest contact centres specifically for that.
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