Ex has contacted social services and police again

[Daneman14]

The ex reported to child maintenance services that I have the kids zero nights now, that is only because she is breaking the court order and withholding contact. Do I confirm it's zero nights or otherwise?

 

[Ash]

No you tell them the court order says x nights, she is breaching it and there is an enforcement hearing coming up - so no change.

 

[Hackedoff_dad]

I have just done this recently, that order stands with CMS, if you are every other weekend just work out the days dont say too much but upload the supporting court order and say you have them x number of days a year etc usually about 110 with half the hols, but don't say too much just give them the dates and the court order

 

[Daneman14]

With the position statement and evidence, I submit that by email beforehand don't I? Also cause my ex decided to change her email again after I submitted the c79, she may not see the court summons, should I let her know or just show up and see if she does?
Also I've just written up alot of points for the position statement, if I message it to someone can they have a look over it and see what's good to put in and not cause I feel my heads all angry and all over the place at the moment?

 

[Hackedoff_dad]

With the position statement and evidence, I submit that by email beforehand don't I? Also cause my ex decided to change her email again after I submitted the c79, she may not see the court summons, should I let her know or just show up and see if she does?
Also I've just written up alot of points for the position statement, if I message it to someone can they have a look over it and see what's good to put in and not cause I feel my heads all angry and all over the place at the moment?

HI there maybe @Ash can weigh in here, but I would leave the position statement tweak it and get happy with what you want to say first, then a week before your court date submit it. record audio write stufff down etc... don't worry if she has changed her details you could mention it in your position statement, try not to worry about your ex's position and try not to give away your position too early, just try focus on what you have to do get yourself in the zone

 

[Daneman14]

I've written a whole bunch of points in my position statement but am not sure what is appropriate to include as I have included several things the ex has lied about in the past and done, I'm a bit lost and have to submit it tomorrow as last time it was so straight forward to this time.

 

[Daneman14]

I went to court on Wednesday and the ex didn't show up so it got ruled massively in my favour cause this is the third time she hasn't showed up to court. It may have been because she changed her email that many times that she never received the summons but I did put her last known email address on my position statement. She has to let me have the children next week or she may have a warrant for her arrest issued. I'm not confident she will let me have them. I'm due to go back to court at the end of Sep. The judge opened for cafcass to get back involved because of all these concerns she's saying so don't know how I feel about that but I feel it just gives her an excuse to make up more stuff but also withhold contact until a cafcass clearance has been given.
I let child maintenance services know a few weeks back that a court order is in place when she reported that I have them 0 nights due to her witholding contact, then received another email from them today saying that she is asking for the decision to be reassessed since I'm guessing cms didn't rule in her favour.

 

[Hackedoff_dad]

I had some interesting information from cafcass this last week, basically if you have parental responsibility and you have an order you can actually keep the child with you citing welfare issues and then apply to the court to vary the order going for full custody, apparently the police or anyone else for that matter cant do anything other than go through the court

 

[Peanut 21]

I had some interesting information from cafcass this last week, basically if you have parental responsibility and you have an order you can actually keep the child with you citing welfare issues and then apply to the court to vary the order going for full custody, apparently the police or anyone else for that matter cant do anything other than go through the court

The police will say it's civil so go to court.

 

[Daneman14]

Just got a reply from the exes solicitor after I requested for confirmation the children will be made available this week for 2 weeks as ordered by the court, unsurprisingly she's withholding contact again saying until the safeguarding concerns are resolved, which are stupid concerns, non existent slander and letting the children play unsupervised in a completely safe and custom build outdoor play area of which these concerns were dismissed by the court, then only supervised contact and telephone calls are allowed. I have already said that I cannot afford supervised contact again and I cannot telephone the kids because I cannot trust what the mother will say or do with these calls, a phone call was the slander accusation. I have a follow up hearing at the court at the end of September. This is extremely frustrating and hurtful as this is supposed to be my summer holiday time with the children so I will miss that. The judge warned the mother in the order that it is to be followed and noted how she completely disregards and doesn't take the court seriously and that if it is not followed that a warrant may be issued for her arrest. I can't afford to apply for another c79, can I just email the court saying she's not following the order again or do I just have to wait until the followup hearing?

 

[Peanut 21]

So you have roughly 7-8 weeks until the next hearing.
I have a feeling she won't budge and even if you could afford to put in a c79 again nothing will happen before the hearing.
Compile all your evidence to prove she is not complying for the next hearing.
It's gutting but you may have to miss out on this time with your kids. It's not fair or right.

 

[Pj66]

Hi @Daneman14 , re reading your thread again and I think you need to get ahead of this as much as possible, before you know it there will be several things to deal with and will make it even more difficult ie having cms called on you, something else, and so on and before you know it you will be swamped.

I think you need to file for a c79 enforcement in an urgent basis citing emotional harm to your child. Also include her non attendance at the last hearing and the information about refusal from her solicitor for contact. Your ex is not going to budge and she will keep your children now until there are implemented, consequences.

I think you are in a situation now where you are more than justified to throw every application you can at this without seeming vexatious. (Especially given the judge already knows about the past denial of contact)

I would file an urgent c79, c100 to vary for transfer of residence, and a c2 citing emotional harm to child.Use every ounce power you have into this at this stage. Do what you can to get the fees for this, and also apply for an order of costs against her for the non attendance and further applications, so you should get back your fees eventually.

 

[Daneman14]

Just got an email from the exes solicitor that they have submitted a C100 and C1a form.

She is so full of shit. all is lies, it is safe and secure, he only got out once when one of the neighbours children didn't close the gate when she was playing with my kids and I noticed straight away and went and got him and now have locks on the gates. The gas bottles are not in the yard and are at the back of the van in the neighbours yard. I do understand a lot about autism and have even completed an autism awareness course plus many more courses including children safeguarding. The bedtime thing I find hard because they stay just 2 nights a fortnight and because the pickup time is set for 5pm and I live over an hour away, the kids are excited or fall asleep on the drive home so are wide awake for a while after.

 

[Daneman14]

I couldn't afford to file anymore applications, there is the follow up hearing at the end of September.

I can't afford contact centre and I haven't called them because of what the mother did last time with using a phone call and saying slander. I notice that she has not listed that slander bullshit. She cannot be trusted.

 

[Peanut 21]

A very infuriating read but very typical.
They use anything that happens to any parent, as ammo.

 

[Daneman14]

I mean I could tell about the time she lost our autistic eldest in the supermarket and couldn't find him until someone handed him in to the customer desk recently, maybe she just doesn't understand autism.

 

[Peanut 21]

The solicitors are scum.
They jump on anything with a grain of truth which grows massively out of proportion.
Your ex wants you to get wound up.
You have your answers to her weak claims ready for the next hearing.

 

[Ash]

I know I've said this already but I really think you should email them and tell them they are in breach of the recent order saying she must follow the original order.

 

[Daneman14]

I've emailed them saying that. It's just so fucking angering and frustrating that not only that she does this with no consequence but she has also been able to claim legal aid again through more bullshit claims. I miss out on my kids again. She seems to hold this standard of parenting over me, a standard that she doesn't even live by.

 

[Ash]

I think she will come a cropper, based on your last order. One option you have as well is - before the next hearing in a position statement, ask the court to dismiss her application to vary as vexatious.