Hello, am so sorry about your situation. You have to be strong for your daughter. Seems like your Ex is trying to break you. The family court is a marathon. Even when you have a court order they (Exs) can still frustrate contact. I have a final court order myself since February but ex has refused to obey court order and i have not seen my son for months now. We just have to keep fighting for our kids. Please never allow her to break you. It will take time but you will see your daughter.
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At The Start Of A Long Journey
- Thread starter Kev19
- Start date
I've got no idea about where you stand but I'm feeling you and feeling your pain mate. Im coming up on a year now. Stay present and stay healthy, be ready.
You're not alone, as @Ash mentioned, progressing orders can designed to combat those attempts at a Status Quo argument.
Your pain is your strength, you feel it because you want the best for her, as @bujanin says, use that negative emotional energy and hit the gym, weights, walk - be ready for your time will eventually come!
Thank you all for your kind words and support. I need to focus and look forward to mtge day I get a progressive order.
@Ash , yes my next course of action is going to be an ISW. I need the family centre report first as they are saying my daughter suffered trauma, but I was living with her for her first 12 weeks and it is my opinion she is showing signs of separation anxiety as the family centre have struggled to settle her with her even when I have not attended
@Ash , yes my next course of action is going to be an ISW. I need the family centre report first as they are saying my daughter suffered trauma, but I was living with her for her first 12 weeks and it is my opinion she is showing signs of separation anxiety as the family centre have struggled to settle her with her even when I have not attended
Not posted in a while as feeling low with not being able to see my 15 month old daughter since late April.
Sessions in the contact centre had broken down due to my daughter getting upset due to separation anxiety/PA or something else. All I could do was wait for the next hearing (I did try to bring the date forward).
Today was a bad day in court as the dumb magistrate ordered we go back to the contact centre with me seeing my daughter for 15 mins 3 times a week.
In court my barrister requested an ISW be appointed or the case moved to the district court, but the lay magistrate want us to try the contact centre again.
I do not understand why see ordered us back to the contact centre which has proven not to be suitable for my daughter and I feel I have wasted £2 in fees.
The next hearing is in 6 weeks time so it’s not long to wait, especially if the centre refuse to restart contact or my daughter continues to be upset during sessions.
I feel so frustrated that we are going round in a circle and I am missing out on seeing my daughter. I guess I have to be hopeful things turn out better this time but I don’t feel confident.
Has anyone else has experience of magistrates being far less than satisfactory and missing what’s glaringly obvious?
Sessions in the contact centre had broken down due to my daughter getting upset due to separation anxiety/PA or something else. All I could do was wait for the next hearing (I did try to bring the date forward).
Today was a bad day in court as the dumb magistrate ordered we go back to the contact centre with me seeing my daughter for 15 mins 3 times a week.
In court my barrister requested an ISW be appointed or the case moved to the district court, but the lay magistrate want us to try the contact centre again.
I do not understand why see ordered us back to the contact centre which has proven not to be suitable for my daughter and I feel I have wasted £2 in fees.
The next hearing is in 6 weeks time so it’s not long to wait, especially if the centre refuse to restart contact or my daughter continues to be upset during sessions.
I feel so frustrated that we are going round in a circle and I am missing out on seeing my daughter. I guess I have to be hopeful things turn out better this time but I don’t feel confident.
Has anyone else has experience of magistrates being far less than satisfactory and missing what’s glaringly obvious?
I've said it loads of times now, there's something sinister going on in family courts.
I'm really sorry you're going through this.
Sadly I think it's par for the course magistrates/judges being blind to the obvious.
As most dad's do, jump through the hoops and hope for the best.
I really hope things improve for you
I'm really sorry you're going through this.
Sadly I think it's par for the course magistrates/judges being blind to the obvious.
As most dad's do, jump through the hoops and hope for the best.
I really hope things improve for you
Really sorry to hear this. Maybe they want to try and get the time with your daughter going again before the next hearing. The fact they have said try contact centre again means the contact centre can't say - not suitable. And your ex has to comply. Hopefully you'll get more result at the next hearing in 6 weeks. The positive is you'll get to see your child. I would go along prepared with things to make her laugh. How old is she?
She is 15 months old . My ex and I separated when our daughter was 3 months old and I have only seen her 3 times since , so I am a stranger to my own daughter. Hopefully contact sessions will start soon and I will give it my all to make them work. I just need the chance to get my daughter to feel comfortable away from her mother, that’s the challenge.
This is why I was wanting an ISW to assist. I feel there is possible PA as my ex openly says she does not want her daughter to have a relationship with me and suggested 15 mins per fortnight in court. The magistrate did tell her our daughter will be seeing me and they took a dim view to the fact she is still breast feeding!
This is why I was wanting an ISW to assist. I feel there is possible PA as my ex openly says she does not want her daughter to have a relationship with me and suggested 15 mins per fortnight in court. The magistrate did tell her our daughter will be seeing me and they took a dim view to the fact she is still breast feeding!
I still have the toy from the initial sessions which she liked. I did find the staff a little too controlling and they made the environment feel clinical. My friend ha a daughter of a similar age so I have some experience. It’s more about my daughter being away from her mother and miss her.
I do very much appreciate all your advice.
I do very much appreciate all your advice.
You are bound to feel nervous or uncomfortable in that environment as well. So maybe go prepared to be chill and even pull funny faces or something or make silly noises to make her laugh. Watch some videos on how to do that 
Also maybe take some music on your phone to play - a selection. A bit of soothing classical music (babies are supposed to like Mozart) and a couple of nursery rhymes you can sing along to. Don't worry about looking silly.
Also maybe take some music on your phone to play - a selection. A bit of soothing classical music (babies are supposed to like Mozart) and a couple of nursery rhymes you can sing along to. Don't worry about looking silly.
@Peanut 21 , you are correct, my ex has put several demands in place including no mobile phones and not feeling her. I was promised a photograph of my daughter back in March but received nothing.
Ah I didn't realise that. This was popular with my son
It sings the songs when you turn the pages and has pictures. Quite interactive. Had loads of Vtech stuff
www.vtech.co.uk
It sings the songs when you turn the pages and has pictures. Quite interactive. Had loads of Vtech stuff
Electronic Learning Toys | Best Learning Toys | VTech UK
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Got to see my 15 month old daughter again this week for the first time in 4 months at the family centre which I was so pleased about.
Contact at the centre had previously broken down due to my daughter becoming upset so at the last hearing I was pushing for an ISW but the magistrates told us to go back to the centre to try again, ordering 3 sessions per week of 15 minutes.
On the two times I saw her this week she mainly cried and I’m not convinced this is going to get any better and is not the best way forward.
Also the centre are only giving us 2 sessions per week not the 3 ordered, does this not go against the court order as we need to see each other frequently so as to build a relationship?
Part of me feels I could be asking too much too soon, whereas part of me feels we are just not moving forward. At 15 months a child should be able to be away from the mother for 15 minutes without crying.
Contact at the centre had previously broken down due to my daughter becoming upset so at the last hearing I was pushing for an ISW but the magistrates told us to go back to the centre to try again, ordering 3 sessions per week of 15 minutes.
On the two times I saw her this week she mainly cried and I’m not convinced this is going to get any better and is not the best way forward.
Also the centre are only giving us 2 sessions per week not the 3 ordered, does this not go against the court order as we need to see each other frequently so as to build a relationship?
Part of me feels I could be asking too much too soon, whereas part of me feels we are just not moving forward. At 15 months a child should be able to be away from the mother for 15 minutes without crying.
Sorry to hear this. Yes it's not like she's a baby waiting to be breast fed but I remember crying - howling even - most of the day - the first time my Mother left me at nursery and I was 3! But after the first day I got used to it.
As Jay says contact centres are a strange place. I guess the idea of regular 15 minute sessions though is, even if she cries, she is getting used to you being there each time. Is she the same with everyone else? Eg contact centre staff?
What kind of crying is it? Angry after being woken up crying? Or just upset and scared crying? Just asking because my son was a nightmare if woken from his nap - absolutely horrible. Took him an hour or two to come out of it. If he woke up naturally, when he was ready he was fine and happy.
But if he just suddenly felt upset about something and cried, the only thing that stopped it was a big hug,
As Jay says contact centres are a strange place. I guess the idea of regular 15 minute sessions though is, even if she cries, she is getting used to you being there each time. Is she the same with everyone else? Eg contact centre staff?
What kind of crying is it? Angry after being woken up crying? Or just upset and scared crying? Just asking because my son was a nightmare if woken from his nap - absolutely horrible. Took him an hour or two to come out of it. If he woke up naturally, when he was ready he was fine and happy.
But if he just suddenly felt upset about something and cried, the only thing that stopped it was a big hug,