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Applying for CAO

Ash said:
At least you're trying. What were her terms for communication? However unpleasant it is, I would still take every opportunity to see your son if you can - you have your hearing coming up at some point as well. And yes she will say she offered you time and you didn't take it. Nightmare but you are dealing with it one step at a
Ash said:
At least you're trying. What were her terms for communication? However unpleasant it is, I would still take every opportunity to see your son if you can - you have your hearing coming up at some point as well. And yes she will say she offered you time and you didn't take it. Nightmare but you are dealing with it one step at a time.
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Ahhhh man fair enough. I understand why people really hate the system now. It’s just made to shame fathers, her terms are “For now respectfully she wants to work on building that trust back again with our son, saying that I haven’t seen him for a while so I can’t just come and take him straight away” even though I didn’t go anymore because she stopped me from bringing him to my house. This is manipulation, she calls it working together but it’s really just do what I say so you can see your son, and if you don’t that means you don’t want to see your son. There’s also this notion that l need to learn her way of making his food which I don’t mind. My terms was I’ll come learn to make his food and other things “ I’ve missed” and then after that I don’t need to spend time there anymore.
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dangermouse72 said:
Hope you get your Cafcass call soon :). It can be really hard having to deal with an ex when you've split up and don't want the contact. And you're right, not good for the child if it leads to arguments. Sounds like you're doing well to keep things going until the court hearing. There's a parenting course that's good - the SPIP course. You can do it online now. But it costs about £100. Court sometimes orders it for both parents and then its free. But they might do it cheaper for you if you say you can't afford it (and want to impress the courts that you've done it).

SPIP online
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Yeah hopefully I get it very soon :) she claims she can’t stand me, but tries to use my son to have me around as much as possible. It’s the confusion that baffles me and I can’t stand confused people. In regards to the course, if I tell Cafcass during the call that I found this course I want to do but can’t afford it right now, reckon they might refer me to do it so I can get it cheaper?
 
I'm not sure - I think it would sound very good if you can tell them you've done a parenting course (that will go in the report I think). But they can be a bit funny (like courts generally) if you suggested something would be a good idea (they like to decide that themselves re the SPIP courses). They usually do send both parents on a SPIP course anyway (sometimes ordered at first hearing). Which is then free.

The only reason to suggest a parenting course was to show Cafcass you've done something (I wouldn't actually mention money or being able to afford things or they may mis analyse you or something. Basically what they do is analyse everything you say!). They may think you're trying to manipulate them or something. Whereas just dropping in that you've done a parenting course will impress them.

So - there may be some general parenting courses - some free ones? I'll have a look. Basically being able to to say you've done something helps - especially with your son being a baby. The SPIP course is more for separated parents - re dealing with each other and effects on child of not dealing with each other well. Whereas a general parenting course is to show you have been proactive in doing as much childcare research as possible.
 
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This site offers some free courses :). They want you to register first - might be worth registering to find out. If it's just a couple of hours online course or something and free. So I wouldn't bother to pay to do the SPIP course if you can do a free one.

early years training hub parenting courses
 
Many Dads have very good court orders - because they had advice from other Dads on how to jump through the hoops and beware of the pitfalls. We all think - why won't someone see my point - I've done nothing wrong. I'm a Dad, I have a right to see my child. But it's just a system and not like real life.

Do you have bottle sterilising kit at your house? If not, say you have (and get some!). The Dad who informed me he argued his point and got a good order for a 7 month old, said he actually took his to court with him and demonstrated how quickly he could do it! (Hope that isn't necessary!).
 
Ash said:
Many Dads have very good court orders - because they had advice from other Dads on how to jump through the hoops and beware of the pitfalls. We all think - why won't someone see my point - I've done nothing wrong. I'm a Dad, I have a right to see my child. But it's just a system and not like real life.

Do you have bottle sterilising kit at your house? If not, say you have (and get some!). The Dad who informed me he argued his point and got a good order for a 7 month old, said he actually took his to court with him and demonstrated how quickly he could do it! (Hope that isn't necessary!).
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Wow imagine I have to do that! I mean I actually will get one. I’m the one the figures out how to use it and then taught her 🤣 but I’ll defo get one from Boots.
 
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How long since you submitted your application now? Not heard from Cafcass yet?
 
Before Covid it used to be about two weeks, so probably taking longer at the moment. Usually your ex will receive the court papers a day or two before you, so maybe expect a reaction! When you know she has them, then yours will be turning up any day. I don't think you'll get anything from Cafcass until after you get the court papers with a hearing date.
 
Ash said:
Before Covid it used to be about two weeks, so probably taking longer at the moment. Usually your ex will receive the court papers a day or two before you, so maybe expect a reaction! When you know she has them, then yours will be turning up any day. I don't think you'll get anything from Cafcass until after you get the court papers with a hearing date.
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I think it’s because of covid to be honest. I’ll just wait for the reaction haha
 
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I submitted my Second Application to court last October, it took roughly 12 weeks for the CAFCASS call, I am still nowhere near the end of my second court process at the moment ...... its taking a LOT longer due to the pandemic .... and I had a video call with CAFCASS - that was weird in itself.
 
Some first hearings have been at about 6 weeks but maybe depends on which region you're in, and also maybe things have got more of a backlog in recent weeks (school summer holidays tend to delay things too).

Are you still getting to see your son?
 
Ash said:
Some first hearings have been at about 6 weeks but maybe depends on which region you're in, and also maybe things have got more of a backlog in recent weeks (school summer holidays tend to delay things too).

Are you still getting to see your son?
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Hey Ash, yeah I’m still doing my best to see my son. While I’m waiting, I think my Mckenzie friend said there’s an issue with the application and he’s trying to fix it now… I think that’s why it’s taken so long.
 
Maybe something missed off it? When it goes through gate keeping (ie checking if all correct by a recorder/district judge) they check to see if it can go through - if something isn’t right on the form they may not approve it to go through. Hope it’s sorted now.
 
Hey Ash, I just received an email from my McKenzie friend that he hadn’t put the application through and he’s sending me the court fees back. You guys have been soo helpful this far, is there a way you can guide me in terms of doing the application myself?
 
Hey KO

Do you have a copy of the C100? If so you can submit this to the court directly yourself and just pay the fee.

Invis
 
Yes I do have a copy of the C100 certificate. Won’t I need to fill out an application?
 
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