Applying for CAO

[InvisibleIntellectual]

You can print one off and fill it out yes

 

[Ash]

C100 is in the link below. You can either fill it out online (you might need the right pdf software to do that so you can edit a pdf) or print it out. I fill it out online then print it out (typed is easier to read).

The C100 is the application form. The mediation certificate is page 9 (I think) of the application form. So if you have the mediator sign off form you substitute that page for the identical blank page in the C100 application form.

It's on this page under the heading Documents. The first link is to apply online. The second link is the downloadable pdf version (I've only ever used that - only certain regions accept online applications).

I think it's a good idea to download it and read it anyway and make sure all is completed correctly before doing an online application (ie gets sent off and no printing).

C100 here

There are few important bits to get right. On the front page in the box on the left you state what you are asking the court to order. Eg "Child Arrangements order for my children to spend time with me 5 nights a fortnight. Or Child Arrangements order for my children to live with me on a 50/50 shared care basis." Whatever it is you're seeking.

Where it says who do the children live with - don't tick with Mother (ie respondent - she is the respondent, you are the application). Tick both boxes and put both names and addresses. I so you are saying the children live with both of you. Assuming there are no court orders in place already. Technically when there are no court orders, you're both equal in terms of legal residency. I didn't know this in the early days and accidentally gave my ex a residency order by ticking that son lived with her (when it had been shared care for years informally).

The other important bit is the summary box (section 5b on page 11). Which actually isn't called a summary any more! It's not a big box - I usually put "please see attached sheet" and type out what I want my application to say. Gives further details of what you're applying for and why, some background info, the current situation, and what you think your ex's view is and why you disagree with that etc. You can get help on here with that and run the wording by someone.

Assume your previous application wasn't accepted because there was an issue with it - either incorrectly filled in or some other reason? Did your Mackenzie friend give any details?

I've done all my own applications even if having legal advice afterwards and along the way.

 

[KO70]

When you say Certificate - do you mean the mediation certificate - the C100 is the application.......

I haven’t got the C100 form though… is it something I can fill out online or do I have to print it off?

You can print one off and fill it out yes

No worries, I’ll print it off and then fill out the details as soon as possible

C100 is in the link below. You can either fill it out online (you might need the right pdf software to do that so you can edit a pdf) or print it out. I fill it out online then print it out (typed is easier to read).

The C100 is the application form. The mediation certificate is page 9 (I think) of the application form. So if you have the mediator sign off form you substitute that page for the identical blank page in the C100 application form.

It's on this page under the heading Documents. The first link is to apply online. The second link is the downloadable pdf version (I've only ever used that - only certain regions accept online applications).

I think it's a good idea to download it and read it anyway and make sure all is completed correctly before doing an online application (ie gets sent off and no printing).

C100 here

There are few important bits to get right. On the front page in the box on the left you state what you are asking the court to order. Eg "Child Arrangements order for my children to spend time with me 5 nights a fortnight. Or Child Arrangements order for my children to live with me on a 50/50 shared care basis." Whatever it is you're seeking.

Where it says who do the children live with - don't tick with Mother (ie respondent - she is the respondent, you are the application). Tick both boxes and put both names and addresses. I so you are saying the children live with both of you. Assuming there are no court orders in place already. Technically when there are no court orders, you're both equal in terms of legal residency. I didn't know this in the early days and accidentally gave my ex a residency order by ticking that son lived with her (when it had been shared care for years informally).

The other important bit is the summary box (section 5b on page 11). Which actually isn't called a summary any more! It's not a big box - I usually put "please see attached sheet" and type out what I want my application to say. Gives further details of what you're applying for and why, some background info, the current situation, and what you think your ex's view is and why you disagree with that etc. You can get help on here with that and run the wording by someone.

Assume your previous application wasn't accepted because there was an issue with it - either incorrectly filled in or some other reason? Did your Mackenzie friend give any details?

I've done all my own applications even if having legal advice afterwards and along the way.

Thanks a lot I’ll follow this. My McKenzie friend actually sent me the initial application I’ll use that as an example also while following this too. He hasn’t been reliable to be honest… I actually got more help from here than I’ve had from him. I Should be able to do it though I’ll ask questions if I get stuck

 

[Ash]

Suggest you run your application wording by me - or someone- before submitting - that’s quite important snd can affect how Cafcass view you from the outset. I think it’s 5b on the application form. Box isn’t big enough but you can use an extra sheet of paper. Keep it factual, child focused, don’t say anything negative about the ex (although you can explain difficulties etc). Do say exactly what you want ordered, in some detail. Do give examples of childcare etc you’ve done. On the bit that says who does the child live with - tick both (applicant and respondent) and put both names and addresses (if you put Mother or Respondent only you’re basically giving her a residence order).

 

[Ash]

Preparation is the key/first impressions count- and all that.

 

[KO70]

Preparation is the key/first impressions count- and all that.

Hey Ash, I just downloaded the C100 form as well as a PDF and here's what I wrote for section 5b. Of course this isn't me doing it online just yet I'm just using it to practise before I process the online application. I replaces my son's name with ''my son'' and I addressed my ex as respondent

''I make this application for direct contact with ‘My son’’. I seek a defined Child Arrangement Order at the present time the contact is sporadic, and the contact takes place at the Respondent home. I have shared care for ‘My son’ since birth including preparing bottles, feeding, changing nappies and educational play. I'm able to see ‘my son’ at Respondent home, however there are tensions which I feel ‘my son’ will pick up and it’s not good for him.

I have been left with no choice but to make this application, I accept that ‘my son’ is still very young and therefore I seek to build up the contact with ‘my son’, when ‘my son’ is older, I would like contact through midweek, alternate weekends Friday through to Monday and an equal share of holidays. My priority is to ensure that ‘my son’ has stable parenting time with both his parents, therefore at this present time I would like contact through the week and contact at the weekends and for the contact to take place at my home"

 

[Ash]

Sounds good so far - it's a bit late so I'll have a proper look tomorrow. But I'd be more specific about what you would like - eg set out a progressing schedule that you'd like ordering. So it could say I ask the court to make an order as follows:

And list it maybe. I'd also mention (important) that until recently you were having time with your son at your home but Ms Ex now won't agree to that and you wish that to be reinstated. (ie shows you've had time at your home before). And address the bit on the form where it asks about the other person's point of view and why you don't agree with it. So it could be "Mrs Ex's view seems to be that she doesn't like my son being at my home in case I have a visitor or a girlfriend there, and wanted to have regular phone contact. I don't agree that it is a problem for my son to be in my home with me, as before, and I am a caring responsible Father. I have no objection to a short call however".

 

[KO70]

Sounds good so far - it's a bit late so I'll have a proper look tomorrow. But I'd be more specific about what you would like - eg set out a progressing schedule that you'd like ordering. So it could say I ask the court to make an order as follows:

And list it maybe. I'd also mention (important) that until recently you were having time with your son at your home but Ms Ex now won't agree to that and you wish that to be reinstated. (ie shows you've had time at your home before). And address the bit on the form where it asks about the other person's point of view and why you don't agree with it. So it could be "Mrs Ex's view seems to be that she doesn't like my son being at my home in case I have a visitor or a girlfriend there, and wanted to have regular phone contact. I don't agree that it is a problem for my son to be in my home with me, as before, and I am a caring responsible Father. I have no objection to a short call however".

Hey, I edited it a little bit better now, ''

I make this application for direct contact with ‘My son’’. I seek a defined Child Arrangement Order at the present time the contact is sporadic, and the contact takes place at the Respondent home. I have shared care for ‘My son’ since birth including preparing bottles, feeding, changing nappies and educational play. I'm able to see ‘my son’ at Respondent home, however there are tensions which I feel ‘my son’ will pick up and it’s not good for him. I’ve had ‘’my son’’ at my house a few times with no issues, however respondent now won’t agree to that but I’ll like this to be reinstated.

I have been left with no choice but to make this application, I accept that ‘my son’ is still very young and therefore I seek to build up the contact with ‘my son’, when ‘my son’ is older, I would like contact through midweek, alternate weekends Friday through to Monday and an equal share of holidays. My priority is to ensure that ‘my son’ has stable parenting time with both his parents, therefore at this present time I ask that the court makes the order as follows: Contact to take place at my home during weekends for few hours as well as contact through the week, preferably Monday’s and Fridays.


Respondent view seems to be that she doesn't like ‘my son’ being at my home in case I have a visitor or a girlfriend there, and wanted to have regular phone contact. I don't agree that it is a problem for my son to be in my home with me, as before, and I am a caring responsible Father. However I have no objection to a short call. ''

 

[Ash]

Hi. Will read tomorrow zzz

 

[Ash]

I'd suggest slight tweaking - and add some info about date of separation and what initial arrangements were - what do you think?

"I request the court make a Child Arrangements order for significant time with "My son" so he has healthy relationships and stability with both his parents. Recently I have been restricted to only seeing "My son" at the respondent's (Ms Ex) family's home and there are tensions which I feel ‘my son’ will pick up and this is not good for him.

Ms Ex and I began living together on x date and separated x months ago when "My son" was x months old. We shared the care for "My son" since birth, and I was fully involved in preparing bottles, feeding, changing nappies and educational play. After we separated, I was caring for "My son" at my home x days a week and continuing to be fully involved in his care, and there were no issues. However Ms Ex is now not in agreement with this and I wish for it to be reinstated.

Ms Ex's view seems to be that she doesn't like "My son" being at my home in case I have a visitor or girlfriend there and she was wanting significant phone contact. I felt this was disrupting the time with "my son" and that I was being "checked up on". However I have no objection to a short call, providing this is reciprocated and I also have a call when he is in his Mother's care.

I don't agree that it is a problem for "My son" to be in my home with me. He is already familiar with my home and environment and has toys and possessions there, and he has much better one to one time with me than when Ms Ex and her family are present. I am also extremely keen to remain fully involved in his day to day care, feeding and development.

Recently Ms Ex has become angry with me on occasion in front of "My son" when at her home and this is not in "My son's" interests - so I feel it is much better that we are not both present for any significant length of time, in front of him and a simple handover would be better.

Ms Ex has declined to have mediation or discuss the matter further, so unfortunately, I feel I have no alternative but to make this application, to ensure ongoing stability of parenting and signification relationship time with both his parents. He continues to be bottle fed and I am experienced in this (and indeed showed Ms Ex how to operate the steriliser). I would prefer it if we could agree matters amicably however.

"My son" is currently x months old and I request the court makes a progressing order, for my son to live with both his parents, as follows:

For "My Son" to live with me:

From now until x date, when my son will be 18 months old

On Mondays from 3pm to 6pm, Fridays 3pm 6pm and Sundays 9am to 6pm

From x date:

Mondays 3pm to 6pm Fridays 3pm to 6pm, Saturday 5pm through to Sunday 6 pm

From x date - when my son will be 2 years old:

Week 1 Monday 3pm to Tuesday 9am, Friday 3pm to 6pm
Week 2 Monday 3pm to Tuesday am, Friday 3pm to Sunday 6pm

Plus two full weeks of holiday time each year.

From x date in September x year, when my son starts reception year in school

Two midweek nights with each parent and every other week-end with each parent, plus half the school holidays with each parent (2-2-5-5)

Week 1 Friday from school through to Wednesday 9am
Week 2 Monday from school through to Wednesday 9am

With all changeovers to and from school. Prior to "My Son" starting school, all changeovers to be to and from Ms Ex's Family's home until x date and then for both parents to share transportation.

For "My son's" passport (when he has one) to be held by his Mother but released to me 21 days before any booked holiday, or on reasonable request for any other purpose."


See what you think. You need to think about exact schedules and what you want - it's quite important to know what you want before applying and think ahead and put specifics - because otherwise you may get a vague, woolly order that isn't specific. If you just let them decide you'll get bare minimum - so sounding specific and asking for specific days and times gives them something to work with and makes you sound organised!

The above is just suggestions but depends when you're working and what times are best.

So it progresses from 3 hours on Mondays and Fridays and a full day on Sundays until he's 18 months old. Then progresses to overnights when he's 18 months old (an overnight every week-end). You might want to ask for overnights earlier than this?

Then from age two - every other week-end with a Monday overnight and the 3 hours on Friday when it's not your week-end. Plus two full weeks each year for holiday.

Continuing until the September he starts school age 4 then goes to a 50/50 schedule of two midweek nights each (eg Mon and Tues) and every other week-end. Unless you'd not want 50/50. The standard would be 4 or 5 nights a fortnight - eg 1 midweek overnight and every other weekend from Friday to Monday morning school drop off.

The other thing to think about is having provision in the order in case he starts nursery which might mess up the times. So you could add that, in the event that my son attends nursery between now and starting school, the midweek schedule to include collection directly from nursery at 3pm on the days he is with me. And drop off directly at nursery after the nights he has spent with me. (Just to cover all eventualities).

The stronger application you put in and the more you ask for, the more you're likely to get as you sound serious about it all and having thought ahead. Otherwise Cafcass ladies may be a bit patronising and think - Dad's just asking to see son a few hours a week so that's all we'll do and do a vague open order depending on what Mum feels is best etc etc.

 

[KO70]

I'd suggest slight tweaking - and add some info about date of separation and what initial arrangements were - what do you think?

"I request the court make a Child Arrangements order for significant time with "My son" so he has healthy relationships and stability with both his parents. Recently I have been restricted to only seeing "My son" at the respondent's (Ms Ex) family's home and there are tensions which I feel ‘my son’ will pick up and this is not good for him.

Ms Ex and I began living together on x date and separated x months ago when "My son" was x months old. We shared the care for "My son" since birth, and I was fully involved in preparing bottles, feeding, changing nappies and educational play. After we separated, I was caring for "My son" at my home x days a week and continuing to be fully involved in his care, and there were no issues. However Ms Ex is now not in agreement with this and I wish for it to be reinstated.

Ms Ex's view seems to be that she doesn't like "My son" being at my home in case I have a visitor or girlfriend there and she was wanting significant phone contact. I felt this was disrupting the time with "my son" and that I was being "checked up on". However I have no objection to a short call, providing this is reciprocated and I also have a call when he is in his Mother's care.

I don't agree that it is a problem for "My son" to be in my home with me. He is already familiar with my home and environment and has toys and possessions there, and he has much better one to one time with me than when Ms Ex and her family are present. I am also extremely keen to remain fully involved in his day to day care, feeding and development.

Recently Ms Ex has become angry with me on occasion in front of "My son" when at her home and this is not in "My son's" interests - so I feel it is much better that we are not both present for any significant length of time, in front of him and a simple handover would be better.

Ms Ex has declined to have mediation or discuss the matter further, so unfortunately, I feel I have no alternative but to make this application, to ensure ongoing stability of parenting and signification relationship time with both his parents. He continues to be bottle fed and I am experienced in this (and indeed showed Ms Ex how to operate the steriliser). I would prefer it if we could agree matters amicably however.

"My son" is currently x months old and I request the court makes a progressing order, for my son to live with both his parents, as follows:

For "My Son" to live with me:

From now until x date, when my son will be 18 months old

On Mondays from 3pm to 6pm, Fridays 3pm 6pm and Sundays 9am to 6pm

From x date:

Mondays 3pm to 6pm Fridays 3pm to 6pm, Saturday 5pm through to Sunday 6 pm

From x date - when my son will be 2 years old:

Week 1 Monday 3pm to Tuesday 9am, Friday 3pm to 6pm
Week 2 Monday 3pm to Tuesday am, Friday 3pm to Sunday 6pm

Plus two full weeks of holiday time each year.

From x date in September x year, when my son starts reception year in school

Two midweek nights with each parent and every other week-end with each parent, plus half the school holidays with each parent (2-2-5-5)

Week 1 Friday from school through to Wednesday 9am
Week 2 Monday from school through to Wednesday 9am

With all changeovers to and from school. Prior to "My Son" starting school, all changeovers to be to and from Ms Ex's Family's home until x date and then for both parents to share transportation.

For "My son's" passport (when he has one) to be held by his Mother but released to me 21 days before any booked holiday, or on reasonable request for any other purpose."


See what you think. You need to think about exact schedules and what you want - it's quite important to know what you want before applying and think ahead and put specifics - because otherwise you may get a vague, woolly order that isn't specific. If you just let them decide you'll get bare minimum - so sounding specific and asking for specific days and times gives them something to work with and makes you sound organised!

The above is just suggestions but depends when you're working and what times are best.

So it progresses from 3 hours on Mondays and Fridays and a full day on Sundays until he's 18 months old. Then progresses to overnights when he's 18 months old (an overnight every week-end). You might want to ask for overnights earlier than this?

Then from age two - every other week-end with a Monday overnight and the 3 hours on Friday when it's not your week-end. Plus two full weeks each year for holiday.

Continuing until the September he starts school age 4 then goes to a 50/50 schedule of two midweek nights each (eg Mon and Tues) and every other week-end. Unless you'd not want 50/50. The standard would be 4 or 5 nights a fortnight - eg 1 midweek overnight and every other weekend from Friday to Monday morning school drop off.

The other thing to think about is having provision in the order in case he starts nursery which might mess up the times. So you could add that, in the event that my son attends nursery between now and starting school, the midweek schedule to include collection directly from nursery at 3pm on the days he is with me. And drop off directly at nursery after the nights he has spent with me. (Just to cover all eventualities).

The stronger application you put in and the more you ask for, the more you're likely to get as you sound serious about it all and having thought ahead. Otherwise Cafcass ladies may be a bit patronising and think - Dad's just asking to see son a few hours a week so that's all we'll do and do a vague open order depending on what Mum feels is best etc etc.

Thanks a lot Ash, can I use this as a template and then show you the draft?

 

[KO70]

I'd suggest slight tweaking - and add some info about date of separation and what initial arrangements were - what do you think?

"I request the court make a Child Arrangements order for significant time with "My son" so he has healthy relationships and stability with both his parents. Recently I have been restricted to only seeing "My son" at the respondent's (Ms Ex) family's home and there are tensions which I feel ‘my son’ will pick up and this is not good for him.

Ms Ex and I began living together on x date and separated x months ago when "My son" was x months old. We shared the care for "My son" since birth, and I was fully involved in preparing bottles, feeding, changing nappies and educational play. After we separated, I was caring for "My son" at my home x days a week and continuing to be fully involved in his care, and there were no issues. However Ms Ex is now not in agreement with this and I wish for it to be reinstated.

Ms Ex's view seems to be that she doesn't like "My son" being at my home in case I have a visitor or girlfriend there and she was wanting significant phone contact. I felt this was disrupting the time with "my son" and that I was being "checked up on". However I have no objection to a short call, providing this is reciprocated and I also have a call when he is in his Mother's care.

I don't agree that it is a problem for "My son" to be in my home with me. He is already familiar with my home and environment and has toys and possessions there, and he has much better one to one time with me than when Ms Ex and her family are present. I am also extremely keen to remain fully involved in his day to day care, feeding and development.

Recently Ms Ex has become angry with me on occasion in front of "My son" when at her home and this is not in "My son's" interests - so I feel it is much better that we are not both present for any significant length of time, in front of him and a simple handover would be better.

Ms Ex has declined to have mediation or discuss the matter further, so unfortunately, I feel I have no alternative but to make this application, to ensure ongoing stability of parenting and signification relationship time with both his parents. He continues to be bottle fed and I am experienced in this (and indeed showed Ms Ex how to operate the steriliser). I would prefer it if we could agree matters amicably however.

"My son" is currently x months old and I request the court makes a progressing order, for my son to live with both his parents, as follows:

For "My Son" to live with me:

From now until x date, when my son will be 18 months old

On Mondays from 3pm to 6pm, Fridays 3pm 6pm and Sundays 9am to 6pm

From x date:

Mondays 3pm to 6pm Fridays 3pm to 6pm, Saturday 5pm through to Sunday 6 pm

From x date - when my son will be 2 years old:

Week 1 Monday 3pm to Tuesday 9am, Friday 3pm to 6pm
Week 2 Monday 3pm to Tuesday am, Friday 3pm to Sunday 6pm

Plus two full weeks of holiday time each year.

From x date in September x year, when my son starts reception year in school

Two midweek nights with each parent and every other week-end with each parent, plus half the school holidays with each parent (2-2-5-5)

Week 1 Friday from school through to Wednesday 9am
Week 2 Monday from school through to Wednesday 9am

With all changeovers to and from school. Prior to "My Son" starting school, all changeovers to be to and from Ms Ex's Family's home until x date and then for both parents to share transportation.

For "My son's" passport (when he has one) to be held by his Mother but released to me 21 days before any booked holiday, or on reasonable request for any other purpose."


See what you think. You need to think about exact schedules and what you want - it's quite important to know what you want before applying and think ahead and put specifics - because otherwise you may get a vague, woolly order that isn't specific. If you just let them decide you'll get bare minimum - so sounding specific and asking for specific days and times gives them something to work with and makes you sound organised!

The above is just suggestions but depends when you're working and what times are best.

So it progresses from 3 hours on Mondays and Fridays and a full day on Sundays until he's 18 months old. Then progresses to overnights when he's 18 months old (an overnight every week-end). You might want to ask for overnights earlier than this?

Then from age two - every other week-end with a Monday overnight and the 3 hours on Friday when it's not your week-end. Plus two full weeks each year for holiday.

Continuing until the September he starts school age 4 then goes to a 50/50 schedule of two midweek nights each (eg Mon and Tues) and every other week-end. Unless you'd not want 50/50. The standard would be 4 or 5 nights a fortnight - eg 1 midweek overnight and every other weekend from Friday to Monday morning school drop off.

The other thing to think about is having provision in the order in case he starts nursery which might mess up the times. So you could add that, in the event that my son attends nursery between now and starting school, the midweek schedule to include collection directly from nursery at 3pm on the days he is with me. And drop off directly at nursery after the nights he has spent with me. (Just to cover all eventualities).

The stronger application you put in and the more you ask for, the more you're likely to get as you sound serious about it all and having thought ahead. Otherwise Cafcass ladies may be a bit patronising and think - Dad's just asking to see son a few hours a week so that's all we'll do and do a vague open order depending on what Mum feels is best etc etc.

Me and my ex never really lived together, we had a few nights where she stayed over. But she stayed over for a week with our son until the specific event of me calling the police unfolded. how would I say that in the 5B statement?

 

[Ash]

Sounds similar to me . Never lived with my ex - we just dated for a few weeks - she dumped me after meeting someone else and then found out she was pregnant.

So if you didn't live together, just something like - Ms Ex and I had a short relationship - we dated for x weeks/months, staying with each other occasionally, even after "My son" was born.

Just say it as it was. The background bit is helpful because the Judge can look at that and see straight away this wasn't a divorce, or a marital home involved etc. And that can affect the way they view things (positively). So no one makes assumptions (some court people do assume everyone was married and getting divorced).

Yeah fine to use as a template and show me the draft.

 

[KO70]

I request the court make a Child Arrangements order for significant time with My son so he has healthy relationships and stability with both his parents. Recently I have been restricted to only seeing My son at the respondent's (Ms Ex) family's home and there are tensions which I feel my son will pick up and this is not good for him

Ms Ex and I had a short relationship as we dated for 1 year and 4 months staying together occasionally even after my son was born. We separated 5 months ago when "My son" was 2 months old. We shared the care for "My son" since birth, and I was fully involved in preparing bottles, feeding, changing nappies and educational play. After we separated, I always attended Ms Ex’s family home to see My son and continue to be fully involved in his care, I had instances where I cared for "My son" at my home 5 days due to ‘’My Ex’’ absence and being allowed to bring him to my home and there were no issues. However My Ex is now not in agreement with this and I wish for it to be reinstated.

Ms Ex's view seems to be that she doesn't like "My son" being at my home in case I have a visitor or girlfriend there and she was wanting significant phone contact. I felt this was disrupting the time with "my son" and that I was being "checked up on". However I have no objection to a short call, providing this is reciprocated and I also have a call when he is in his Mother's care.

I don't agree that it is a problem for "My son" to be in my home with me. He is already familiar with my home and environment and has toys and possessions there, he also has much better one to one time with me than when Ms Ex and her family are present. I am also extremely keen to remain fully involved in his day to day care, feeding and development. Recently Ms Ex has become angry with me on occasion in front of "My son" when at her home and this is not in "My son's" interests - so I feel it is much better that we are not both present for any significant length of time, in front of him and a simple handover would be better.

Ms Ex has declined to have mediation or discuss the matter further, so unfortunately, I feel I have no alternative but to make this application, to ensure ongoing stability of parenting and significant relationship time with both his parents. He continues to be bottle fed and I am experienced in this (and indeed showed Ms Ex how to operate the steriliser). I would prefer it if we could agree matters amicably however.

My son" is currently 7 months old and I request the court makes a progressing order, for my son to live with both his parents, as follows:

For "My Son" to live with me:

From now until August 2022, when my son will be 18 months old

Fridays 4pm to 8pm, Saturday All day and Sundays 8am to 6pm

From August 2022:

Fridays 4pm to 8pm, Saturday 5pm through to Sunday 6 pm

From February 2023 - when my son will be 2 years old:

Week 1 Monday 3pm to Tuesday 9am, Friday 3pm to 6pm

Week 2 Monday 3pm to Tuesday 9am, Friday 3pm to Sunday 6pm


Plus Four full weeks of holiday time each year.


From September 2025, when my son starts reception year in school

Two midweek nights with each parent and every other week-end with each parent, plus half the school holidays with each parent (2-2-5-5)


Week 1 Friday from school through to Wednesday 9am
Week 2 Monday from school through to Wednesday 9am


With all changeovers to and from school. Prior to "My Son" starting school, all changeovers to be to and from Ms Ex's home until September 2027 and then for both parents to share transportation.





For "My son's" passport to be held by his Mother but released to me 21 days before any booked holiday, or on reasonable request for any other purpose.


That's what I got so far, what do you think in terms of the scheduling... I tried to fit it to my work schedule as well as schedule for church on Sundays

 

[Ash]

Hi. Will have a look later

Just check the scheduling again from now until August 2022. You've got Friday 4pm to 8pm, all day Saturday (no times specified) and Sunday 8am to 6pm.

I'm not sure they'd do 8pm due to bedtime routine - but it's possible. I'm not sure they'd do every Saturday and Sunday as then your ex would never see him at week-ends. Can you not do Mondays as well? How about 4pm to 7pm on Mondays and Fridays, 1pm to 7pm on Saturdays and all day Sunday?

 

[KO70]

Hi. Will have a look later

Just check the scheduling again from now until August 2022. You've got Friday 4pm to 8pm, all day Saturday (no times specified) and Sunday 8am to 6pm.

I'm not sure they'd do 8pm due to bedtime routine - but it's possible. I'm not sure they'd do every Saturday and Sunday as then your ex would never see him at week-ends. Can you not do Mondays as well? How about 4pm to 7pm on Mondays and Fridays, 1pm to 7pm on Saturdays and all day Sunday?

I should be able to do Monday, but I took it out as precaution cos of work. I’ll see if I can finish work early on Mondays and Fridays for this sake.

 

[Ash]

Hi. I've tweaked it slightly - see what you think - thought about the situation whereby he might start nursery at some point as well so the order incorporates that and you don't have issues with pickup location etc. In the first paragraph it introduces your son by name, so I changed it to my son X initially and then just X after that (for you to put his name in). Same with your ex, initially introduced as "the respondent Ms Ex" then just called her Ms Ex all the way through. Don't forget to change all the X's and Ex's to real names!

See what you think. And also the schedules. So more than just week-ends would be better at this age so he's not apart from you this long. I think you'd have a good chance with Mondays and Fridays 4pm to 7pm part of the week-ends.

I also added about the 5 days "at a time" at your house as not sure if it happened more than once. If it did then "5 days at a time" is better as shows significant time. If it was only the once then just change that again to "There were also occasions when Ms Ex was away and X spent 5 days with me in me home". Maybe away sounds better than absent?



"I request the court make a Child Arrangements order for my son X to live with both parents on a shared care basis, so he has ongoing healthy relationships and stability with both his parents. Recently I have been restricted to only seeing X at the respondent's (Ms Ex) family's home and there are tensions which I feel my son will pick up and this is not good for him

Ms Ex and I had a short relationship as we dated for 1 year and 4 months staying together occasionally even after my son was born. We separated 5 months ago when "X" was 2 months old. We had shared the care for "My son" since birth, and I was fully involved in preparing bottles, feeding, changing nappies and educational play.

After we separated, I always attended Ms Ex’s family home to see X and continue to be fully involved in his day to day care. There were also occasions where I cared for "X" at my home for 5 days at a time due to ‘’Ms Ex’’ absence, and there were no issues. However Ms Ex is now not in agreement with X being with me at my home, and I wish for this to be reinstated.

Ms Ex's view seems to be that she doesn't like "X" being at my home in case I have a visitor or girlfriend there and she was wanting significant phone contact. I felt this was disrupting the time with "my son" and that I was being "checked up on". However I have no objection to a short call, providing this is reciprocated and that I also have a call when he is in his Mother's care. I am also happy to agree that neither parent will introduce a new partner for 6 months.

I don't agree that it is a problem for "X" to be in my home with me. He is already familiar with my home and environment and has toys and possessions there, he also has much better one to one time with me than when Ms Ex and her family are present. I am also extremely keen to remain fully involved in his day to day care, feeding and development and feel it is in his best interests to have this interaction with both his parents and to become established with a routine in two homes. Also, recently Ms Ex has become angry with me on occasion in front of "X" when at her home and this is not in "X’s" interests - so I feel it is much better that we are not both present for any significant length of time, in front of him, and a simple handover would be better.

Ms Ex has declined to have mediation or discuss the matter further, so unfortunately, I feel I have no alternative but to make this application, to ensure ongoing stability of parenting and significant relationship time with both his parents. X continues to be bottle fed, and I am experienced in this (and indeed showed Ms Ex how to operate the steriliser). I would prefer it if we could agree matters amicably however.

X is currently 7 months old and I request the court makes a progressing order, for my son to live with both his parents, as follows.

For X to live with me:

From now until August 2022 (when my son will be 18 months old)

Mondays and Fridays 4pm to 7pm, Saturdays 1pm to 6pm and Sundays 8am to 6pm every week

From August 2022:

Mondays and Fridays 4pm to 7pm, Saturday 4pm through to Sunday 6 pm every week

From February 2023 (when my son will be 2 years old):

Week 1 Monday 3pm to Tuesday 9am, Friday 3pm to 6pm

Week 2 Monday 3pm to Tuesday 9am, Friday 3pm to Sunday 6pm

Plus Four full weeks of holiday time each year.

All changeovers to be to and from Ms Ex's home, unless X begins to attend nursery, then changeovers to be to and from nursery.


From September 2025 (when my son starts reception year in school)

Two midweek nights with each parent and every other week-end with each parent, plus half the school holidays with each parent (2-2-5-5):

Week 1 Friday from school through to Wednesday 9am
Week 2 Monday from school through to Wednesday 9am

With all changeovers to and from school. During holidays, changeovers to be to and from Ms Ex’s home with parents sharing transportation alternately.

For X’s passport to be held by his Mother but released to me 21 days before any booked holiday, or on reasonable request for any other purpose.

 

[Ash]

Just to add, it's fairly standard in a parenting plan to have something like both parents agree not to introduce any new partners for x months. Although without a parenting plan, ex's tend to do it straight away but make a fuss if you do it!

 

[Ash]

Actually I was thinking from age 2 it should be a bit more time - and all overnights - because that schedule will be for two years and then a bigger change age 4.

So how about, from age 2 (and this is something I have had - alternating midweek nights).

Every other week-end from Friday through to Monday morning. One midweek overnight each week. Thursday one week and Monday the following week.

The way this works is - you have him for the week-end Friday to Monday morning. Then you have him on Thursday night through to friday morning. Then you have him again on Monday night through to Tuesday morning. Then that week you have him for the week-end on Friday again.

What this means is you see him every 3 or 4 days, have a single overnight each week and every other week-end. That would carry on for two years until he starts school and then the only change would be two consecutive midweek nights each week.

 

[KO70]

Actually I was thinking from age 2 it should be a bit more time - and all overnights - because that schedule will be for two years and then a bigger change age 4.

So how about, from age 2 (and this is something I have had - alternating midweek nights).

Every other week-end from Friday through to Monday morning. One midweek overnight each week. Thursday one week and Monday the following week.

The way this works is - you have him for the week-end Friday to Monday morning. Then you have him on Thursday night through to friday morning. Then you have him again on Monday night through to Tuesday morning. Then that week you have him for the week-end on Friday again.

What this means is you see him every 3 or 4 days, have a single overnight each week and every other week-end. That would carry on for two years until he starts school and then the only change would be two consecutive midweek nights each week.

Hey Ash sorry for the late response, this sounds like a very good schedule to be fair. I'll add it, I'm doing the application online tonight thanks for altering my statement, it sounds very good now.