Help please

[Seanmckenna]

Bit of a long one here folks. Bare with me. One night stand 10 years ago. I was contacted after birth that I was a dad. Mum ceased contact with me shortly afterwards. No contact until
2 years ago from family solicitor saying that the mother took her life 4 years previously and child was living with relatives( legal guardians ) abroad. They asked for money and we arranged a voluntary arrangement without courts. Recently I the flew child over for visit to me and it went great. Since she has returned to guardians, contact is minimal and they are making unrealistic addditional financial demands on top of what I currently pay. They are threatening my with courts. What do I do? Any advice would be brilliant.

 

[mva]

The only money they could ask for is based on CMS calculator. However if you child lives abroad I don’t think that is even valid. I would phone up the CMS and ask.

I don’t exactly know what threat they could try through the courts.

However without a court order then your child’s relatives can dictate if you see your kid. If you went to court to try and get more regular time with your child then you would be one the applicant. However as child is abroad it would have to be a courtly that has reciprocal family law rights , know as a Hague convention. Even then it would be difficult to enforce as unfortunately child’s relatives hold most of the cards.

You can get free 30 minutes legal advice by contacting a family lawyer.

You have to try and keep relatives on side until you know your position.

 

[Ash]

Are you on the birth certificate? If so you'd have Parental Responsibility and could apply for the child to live with you and spend time with relatives, as her only legal parent.

If you're not on the birth certificate you might have to prove parentage.

 

[Seanmckenna]

The only money they could ask for is based on CMS calculator. However if you child lives abroad I don’t think that is even valid. I would phone up the CMS and ask.

I don’t exactly know what threat they could try through the courts.

However without a court order then your child’s relatives can dictate if you see your kid. If you went to court to try and get more regular time with your child then you would be one the applicant. However as child is abroad it would have to be a courtly that has reciprocal family law rights , know as a Hague convention. Even then it would be difficult to enforce as unfortunately child’s relatives hold most of the cards.

You can get free 30 minutes legal advice by contacting a family lawyer.

You have to try and keep relatives on side until you know your position.

Thank you

 

[Seanmckenna]

Are you on the birth certificate? If so you'd have Parental Responsibility and could apply for the child to live with you and spend time with relatives, as her only legal parent.

If you're not on the birth certificate you might have to prove parentage.

Not on the birth certificate. Did DNA test when the child was born and confirmed that I am indeed the dad

 

[Ash]

Ok so you could apply for PR and a residency order as you have proof of parentage.

 

[Seanmckenna]

Ok so you could apply for PR and a residency order as you have proof of parentage.

Is that a long process of my daughter lives abroad ? Any ideas ?

 

[Resolute]

To get parental responsibility or to get residency?

My belief is that the country will be an important factor. Does the child speak English? Are you resident in England?

I am not suggesting you post the country, you have already described quite a specific situation. But, it is important to know if you are outside England and Wales yourself.

Have you seen documents which prove the relatives are legal guardians?

 

[Seanmckenna]

To get parental responsibility or to get residency?

My belief is that the country will be an important factor. Does the child speak English? Are you resident in England?

I am not suggesting you post the country, you have already described quite a specific situation. But, it is important to know if you are outside England and Wales yourself.

Have you seen documents which prove the relatives are legal guardians?

I’m northern Ireland and child is currently in an English speaking country south of the equator if that helps. I have not seen documents or have any idea how the child was taken out of the country at the time of her mother’s passing. ( I’m not implying foul play) but if I was contactable 2 years ago through their solicitor , surely I was contactable when her mother passed and I would have gladly taken the child then

 

[Resolute]

Northern Ireland has similar legislation to England and Wales, but it is not identical. MVA's point about Hague Convention is extremely important.

I would play sweet with the relatives until you work out the best way of tackling this situation, like MVA suggested.

How long was the child with you?

This is a crazy idea, but I wonder what would happen if your kid visited again and you neglected to return.

If your first move is the wrong move, you put them on notice and make your job much harder.

Look for comparable cases between the two countries and get guidance from there. Excuse my cynicism, but a solicitor may be more interested in emptying your bank account than getting the result you want. You need to be very discerning if you are to benefit from their services.

EDIT
I just realised. Your ex committed suicide in the UK and child was taken abroad as a result. That may give a whole new angle on things. Have you seen your ex's will? It that a public record?

 

[Seanmckenna]

Northern Ireland has similar legislation to England and Wales, but it is not identical. MVA's point about Hague Convention is extremely important.

I would play sweet with the relatives until you work out the best way of tackling this situation, like MVA suggested.

How long was the child with you?

This is a crazy idea, but I wonder what would happen if your kid visited again and you neglected to return.

If your first move is the wrong move, you put them on notice and make your job much harder.

Look for comparable cases between the two countries and get guidance from there. Excuse my cynicism, but a solicitor may be more interested in emptying your bank account than getting the result you want. You need to be very discerning if you are to benefit from their services.

EDIT
I just realised. Your ex committed suicide in the UK and child was taken abroad as a result. That may give a whole new angle on things. Have you seen your ex's will? It that a public record?

 

[Seanmckenna]

Thanks for replying . Child’s mother committed suicide in Republic of Ireland and stated in her suicide note that she wanted child to live with relatives who are now her legal guardians abroad

 

[Seanmckenna]

Child was with me for 6 weeks

 

[Seanmckenna]

Ok so you could apply for PR and a residency order as you have proof of parentage.

3 countries involved Ash . It’s a hornets nest of courts and solicitors I fear

 

[mva]

What sort of time would you like with child?

Are the relatives grandparents ?

 

[Seanmckenna]

What sort of time would you like with child?

Are the relatives grandparents ?

I’d like full access. The 6 weeks went very well but her guardians obviously got cold feet halfway through . Relationships with my family and the guardians is frosty at best now. Just looking more money and I get to FaceTime my daughter every other week since she went back

 

[Seanmckenna]

I’d like full access. The 6 weeks went very well but her guardians obviously got cold feet halfway through . Relationships with my family and the guardians is frosty at best now. Just looking more money and I get to FaceTime my daughter every other week since she went back

Aunt and step uncle

 

[Ash]

Can I just ask - if that's your real name we ask people to use anonymous usernames - I can change it for you.

 

[Seanmckenna]

No it’s actually just a random name lol. It’s off putting though . I get that

 

[Ash]

It's good you got to spend 6 weeks with her. How old is she now? What went wrong for things to get frosty? Just because of the money situation. I can't see you're obliged to pay anything to be honest. Unless they have legally adopted her possibly and even then it depends which country.