Update on my Case

[algregor]

Wow! Well good luck for the 13th, please do keep us posted on how you get on - If I was a judge I’d be looking at the genuine attempts you made to “prove” you are a good father. Sometimes they do override cafcass letters but truthfully I am slightly behind you by a good few months so I am just saying from what I’ve read on here. I didn’t even know you get a copy of each other’s cafcass letter in advance - must make interesting reading.

Are you going for 50-50?

I'm just trying to reinstate the 50/50 lives with shared care we already had in place.

I'm not living in one of the most expensive places to live in the UK in a 2 bedroom property for no reason.

I'm really requesting a CAO so she can't keep changing the goalposts unilaterally when she has a bad week. Whatever the courts decide, I'll have to deal with. We need stability. Our son, myself and it's also going to benefit her. So we can all move on with our lives and know when we both need to parent our child.

 

[Nujra Rof]

I hope you get the 50-50 mate. To be honest it is crazy that without a court order she can just change arrangements / I think you hit the nail on the head, what kind of stability is that for anyone, especially children!

 

[Nujra Rof]

I’d actually be curious to know if at the fhdra with a cafcass call signed off and no concerns - if the judge gives direction that it would end up being 50-50 so if the wife wants to avoid another costly hearing than to just accept it and come together to make a schedule that works

 

[Nujra Rof]

I’d actually be curious to know if at the fhdra with a cafcass call signed off and no concerns - if the judge gives direction that it would end up being 50-50 so if the wife wants to avoid another costly hearing than to just accept it and come together to make a schedule that works

It would save so much court time and resources if they did do this

 

[algregor]

So I had my FHDRA earlier today. Got there early (12:40. Hearing was at 2pm but hearing notice stated get there hour early to discuss with cafcass). Waited without ex turning up and no sight of cafcass. Got to 13:55 and cafcass and ex exited one of the rooms and cafcass asked to speak with me. At same time court clerk came out and said they are waiting to start proceedings. Cafcass told the clerk that she needed to speak with me for 5 minutes first. Then cafcass dropped a bombshell. Ex has now accused me of serious sexual abuse, physical, emotional, financial abuse, coercive and controlling behaviour. And serious neglect to boot. I was shocked. Stated why she didn't mention this in her cafcass call. Then clerk came in again (had only been about 3 mins). Then I was called before court to start proceedings. Cafcass reiterated what they had just told me and few other allegations. Then I was told to respond. (I'm LIP). I confirmed my shock but managed to compose myself and get my points across. Managed to submit my hair strand test which shut down drugs and alcohol abuse argument.

Then it was ex's turn, (also LIP with Mackenzie friend). She went into a tirade accusing cafcass of errors in their report etc. Stated she is seeking Scott schedule and full report of all her accusations. The judges adjourned and when they returned they had no choice but to agree a Scott schedule.

In regards to interim contact, they allowed same contact in place, daytime contact 10-2 on a Sunday until next hearing. I made sure that now drugs and alcohol are no longer an issue our son should be allowed in my home (this was my main aim for the hearing. Not knowing the horrendous accusations I would be facing). They confirmed contact should be allowed in my home. My ex was furious and contested it, the judges stated to her "this is a court order". Which was a miniscule win for me considering.

Now I'm completely deflated. Being accused of the most heinous crimes and they are being entertained. I understand they have to take these accusations seriously. But my ex already put in her statement she is finding it hard to find a solicitor that will provide her legal aid 'even with all my abuse allegations'.

Anyone know what I should be expecting next re Scott schedule etc?

 

[Resolute]

The Scott Schedule is a list of her allegations against you. She may well be invited to write a supporting statement as well. You should then get some time to consider her allegations and respond. Maybe 2 or 3 weeks. There's a debate on how detailed your response should be. Some argue for just saying: "this allegation is denied."

The court can decide to have a Fact Finding hearing before the Scott Schedule is produced. If this was not decided today, you may have a DRA next to look at her allegations and decide next steps.

The order from today's hearing is likely to clarify things for you. With both of you LIP, your order will be written by the court, much better than having it written up by her barrister.

Sorry you had such a tough time today. Reassure yourself that she is just playing the textbook moves. Getting time unsupervised is no small victory. You can beat this nonsense.

 

[algregor]

The Scott Schedule is a list of her allegations against you. She may well be invited to write a supporting statement as well. You should then get some time to consider her allegations and respond. Maybe 2 or 3 weeks. There's a debate on how detailed your response should be. Some argue for just saying: "this allegation is denied."

The court can decide to have a Fact Finding hearing before the Scott Schedule is produced. If this was not decided today, you may have a DRA next to look at her allegations and decide next steps.

The order from today's hearing is likely to clarify things for you. With both of you LIP, your order will be written by the court, much better than having it written up by her barrister.

Sorry you had such a tough time today. Reassure yourself that she is just playing the textbook moves. Getting time unsupervised is no small victory. You can beat this nonsense.

Thanks mate. I could just see all three judges and cafcass completely nonplussed by all her nonsense but they had no choice but to accept that they are very serious allegations and they have to investigate them thoroughly.

I didn't get anything written down about the interim contact arrangements. I.e a court order. Should I expect to receive this at some point?

In regards to the alcohol and drug testing. I'm pretty sure they said they don't require any further testing. So I should not be expected to provide breathalyser tests anymore?

 

[Peanut 21]

Ex has now accused me of serious sexual abuse, physical, emotional, financial abuse, coercive and controlling behaviour

So she made these allegations on the day? Not before?

 

[algregor]

So she made these allegations on the day? Not before?

All of the allegations I found out 5 minutes before walking into court and then written down in her position statement when I was in court.

If I had a barrister I'm pretty sure they would have said there's no chance this hearing is going ahead.

 

[JayMC]

The Scott schedule will list her allegations you can then respond.
She’s highly unlikely by what you have said going to be able to evidence any of it.

Deny what’s put in front of you, if you have any evidence for any of the claims then file it. Otherwise there isn’t much for you to do.

Make the most of the interim, do things with your child- this is going to be what the judges care about your ability to parent and care for child.

 

[algregor]

I have many messages of her asking to get back together. One as recent as October 1st 2024. Then on October 2nd she removed all overnight contact. Then I opened mediation proceedings which she refused to attend, so then I filed the C100.

 

[Razbert]

All of the allegations I found out 5 minutes before walking into court and then written down in her position statement when I was in court.

If I had a barrister I'm pretty sure they would have said there's no chance this hearing is going ahead.

That is absolute nonsense! Surely that cannot be acceptable as a part of legal proceedings. You referred to three judges - were they magistrates with a legal adviser? Didn't anyone of them question why the Cafcass safeguarding letter had no concerns and then these venomous accusations suddenly appeared? It would appear that the only sane person in court was yourself! Didn't the Cafcass adviser have anything to say? You said they had no choice but to accept they were serious allegations worthy of investigations. But they did have a choice - they could have said:-

Very sorry madam, but you had your chance to voice your concerns during the Cafcass safeguarding call. The court does not accept these additions to your position statement as it's now too late. The court therefore refuses to allow your submissions.

I would certainly appeal their decision to allow the allegations, as they were clearly spurious and we're only made to frustrate the course of natural justice. It's likely the justices erred in law in not dealing with it properly during the hearing.

 

[algregor]

That is absolute nonsense! Surely that cannot be acceptable as a part of legal proceedings. You referred to three judges - were they magistrates with a legal adviser? Didn't anyone of them question why the Cafcass safeguarding letter had no concerns and then these venomous accusations suddenly appeared? It would appear that the only sane person in court was yourself! Didn't the Cafcass adviser have anything to say? You said they had no choice but to accept they were serious allegations worthy of investigations. But they did have a choice - they could have said:-

I would certainly appeal their decision to allow the allegations, as they were clearly spurious and we're only made to frustrate the course of natural justice. It's likely the justices erred in law in not dealing with it properly during the hearing.

I was genuinely shocked having the allegations put to me in such a short period prior to the hearing and in retrospect naive. That's why you should have a barrister to deal with this type of situation arising. If I had a barrister her allegations would have surely been thrown out.

I did mention that she had a chance to raise all of these allegations via her cafcass call but we were interrupted and called in.

I feel like surely I should be able to complain about how it was dealt with?

About the interim contact arrangements, I was tasked with arranging the communications app. I chose talking parents app. I have sent her my details to communicate via this moving forward and I have had no response. How do I navigate this? It was court ordered, so surely she has to accept communication via this now? But I can't force her to use the app.

Interim contact handovers are to be arranged via a 3rd party of her choosing. Do I just wait for her to contact me about this? I have a feeling I am just going to get the obvious "sorry he's not feeling well today" message on the day I should be caring for him.

 

[Resolute]

Thanks mate. I could just see all three judges and cafcass completely nonplussed by all her nonsense but they had no choice but to accept that they are very serious allegations and they have to investigate them thoroughly.

I didn't get anything written down about the interim contact arrangements. I.e a court order. Should I expect to receive this at some point?

In regards to the alcohol and drug testing. I'm pretty sure they said they don't require any further testing. So I should not be expected to provide breathalyser tests anymore?

I carried a breathalyser in my bag for about 2 years so that I could blow at any time requested. In truth, the evil, two faced, demons that make false allegations. Do not want solutions. I was never asked. The one time I took it out, my ex refused to video record the test or look at the result.

 

[Razbert]

I didn't get anything written down about the interim contact arrangements. I.e a court order. Should I expect to receive this at some point?

As you were both self rep, the court will create the order which you'll get by post in a few days.

I feel like surely I should be able to complain about how it was dealt with?

Yes, certainly you should complain. The problem is you only have 21 days from the hearing to file an appeal, so the clock is running. You definitely need to seek legal advice about how to do it. If the hearing was before a judge, you need permission to appeal, but if it was before lay magistrates you don't.

In the meantime, you could speak to Cafcass to ask why they allowed these new allegations to be brought up in court, and why they favoured the mother and didn't leave time for discussion with you. You can point out you feel completely let down by Cafcass and will be making a formal complaint about their court adviser.

Does anyone on the forum have experience with the appeals process?

 

[algregor]

Court have ordered that I see my son every Sunday 10am - 4pm. Ex has been tasked with providing 3rd party to facilitate handover. But she has asked me to suggest people. I suggested her parents or brother and she has rejected these suggestions. I live near her and have no family or friends to suggest. I have told her I don't care who she chooses. She is not suggesting anyone. What can I do?

Do I need to contact the court and get this arranged somehow? I don't see any way of this working moving forward.

 

[Razbert]

Court have ordered that I see my son every Sunday 10am - 4pm. Ex has been tasked with providing 3rd party to facilitate handover. But she has asked me to suggest people. I suggested her parents or brother and she has rejected these suggestions. I live near her and have no family or friends to suggest. I have told her I don't care who she chooses. She is not suggesting anyone. What can I do?

Do I need to contact the court and get this arranged somehow? I don't see any way of this working moving forward.

Let me get this right, the court have said she has to find a 3rd party but she can't be bothered and has asked you to find someone. You found people, but she doesn't like them. So now she's blaming you because there isn't a third party for handover. Clearly she's taking the p**s.

Somewhere on the order it will say if any part of the order cannot be complied with, to refer back to the court. You must do that, otherwise you will be in contempt as well as her.

Have you spoken to her parents or brother? What would happen if you asked them to collect the child from her and to meet you nearby? Would she refuse to let the child's grandparents or her own brother in the house? It all seems bizarre.

You said -

I didn't get anything written down about the interim contact arrangements. I.e a court order. Should I expect to receive this at some point?

I think you have to call the court and explain the situation, because she's being difficult and you don't have the order yet to actually see what it says. They might tell you the order will be sent by post, but someone in the court office may be able to tell you what that part says and suggest how to proceed. You can also tell them about her last minute allegations and ask how to complain about the way it was unfairly handled.

 

[algregor]

Let me get this right, the court have said she has to find a 3rd party but she can't be bothered and has asked you to find someone. You found people, but she doesn't like them. So now she's blaming you because there isn't a third party for handover. Clearly she's taking the p**s.

Somewhere on the order it will say if any part of the order cannot be complied with, to refer back to the court. You must do that, otherwise you will be in contempt as well as her.

Have you spoken to her parents or brother? What would happen if you asked them to collect the child from her and to meet you nearby? Would she refuse to let the child's grandparents or her own brother in the house? It all seems bizarre.

You said -

I think you have to call the court and explain the situation, because she's being difficult and you don't have the order yet to actually see what it says. They might tell you the order will be sent by post, but someone in the court office may be able to tell you what that part says and suggest how to proceed. You can also tell them about her last minute allegations and ask how to complain about the way it was unfairly handled.

She's just trying to be difficult so I don't have time with my son. I'll also note that she has been happy to facilitate handovers every weekend since she started allowing me to see him since 18th January. Now she is saying she is unwilling to do so.

She has accused me of all sorts, I have no idea if she has told her family but some of the stuff she's accused, I can't imagine they'd be my biggest fan. I don't care as none of its true. And it's not like I'm stopping in for a cup of tea and biscuits, it's a 10 seconds pick up and drop off. There should be no issue.

I need the court order to refer her to, but this could take X amount of time to come through. Will try the court tomorrow, but that doesn't help me seeing my son today. It just seems madness that they don't have an interim court order issued on the day for situations like this. It must happen all the time.

 

[nothernsoul]

Sorry to hear you are going through this.

Her actions are entirely transparent.

She's poking you. She's desperate for a reaction that fits her narrative and she's using her own children as bait and collateral damage. Many of us in here have been through it.

DO NOT FALL INTO HER TRAP.

Sadly, it might mean you don't see your children today which I know is an absolutely wrench and a disgrace but this could be a lengthly battle and, from today, remember to breathe and give yourself space.

You can send one overly polite but brief message asking her to reconsider her parents doing the handovers. Do not ask for explanations or send any follow up.

Don't have a couple of beers and reengage with her. Vent on here and listen to the advice you get. We've got your back.

 

[Razbert]

She's just trying to be difficult so I don't have time with my son. I'll also note that she has been happy to facilitate handovers every weekend since she started allowing me to see him since 18th January. Now she is saying she is unwilling to do so.

All this nonsense seemed to kick off sometime between the Cafcass call and the hearing last week. I don't think anything has changed from your side so that leaves the new McKenzie Friend that suddenly appeared on the scene. Do you think there's a connection?