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solicitors
- Thread starter SJP
- Start date
She was 10 minutes late back, what annoyed me was that she got her to ring me saying they might be late back as they had only just ordered food, instead of making sure she was back on time and maybe order food earlier. She has also asked my daughter how she would feel about her being picked up from school on Friday with my son so they can spend time together with her on his birthday and also if she would want to go to her uncles house on Saturday for a bit of a party while she has her 3 hours with her, she's spread said she doesn't want to go to anyone's house yet she was taken into her grandads house and also asked if she wanted to go into her mother's house while she picked up some of her things she had asked for. This says to me that she has no intentions of granting me the time back I'll lose next Friday as I've said she can see son til 6 for his birthday. She is definitely trying to manipulate her into going in houses to use at court, " she was fine going into my house" like I knew she would. She also asked if she really didn't want to go on holiday and said to her that she wasn't drinking on holiday even though we both saw her with drinks while on video calls to son, if she thinks her drinking isn't an issue then why bring it up
She is very childish, her reasons for not letting me see my son was ill let you see him when you let me see her which I have on texts, she was just copying what I was saying about daughter not wanting tocsee her and sending the same back, it was so frustrating, the time my son has been kept away from us shows by his attitude now, he begrudge his sister saying that she's the favourite now and we all hate him. Daughter said when she was brought back he said he was glad she was going, he was never like that before
10 minutes late back is ok. Your poor son is very mixed up and your ex is managing to triangulate them. I hope you get chance to talk to him properly. And say to your daughter that son is very mixed up right now and doesn't mean it.
It's going to be a tough time until the next hearing and it doesn't help if your son's birthday is on your next Friday with him. Personally I wouldn't have changed that Friday arrangement - I'd have said she can celebrate his birthday on the Thursday or Saturday instead.
But that shows you were reasonable saying you wouldn't pick him up till 6pm.
To be honest, what your ex does with your daughter during the supervised 3 hours is not something you can have much say in - as long as the time is supervised by Grandad - doesn't really matter whose houses she goes in probably. It doesn't say she can only be supervised in a public place, it just says supervised. The wording is a bit vague perhaps though as "in the community" could mean anything.
What does your daughter say about all this? Does she want to go to the party? Does she want to go from school on Friday? Clearly if your ex is having a party for your son over your daughter's time, maybe there wouldn't be much choice!
If you have agreed to let her have your son from school until 6pm then she should be allowing extra time.
I would suggest your solicitor sending:
"Dad has agreed Mum collecting both childrens from school until 6.30pm on Friday as it's son's birthday. This is on the basis that your client agrees to make up this time on Saturday, so Dad returns son at 3pm rather than 12.30pm (or whatever). Please let us know which 3 hours you wish Dad to bring daughter to your client on Sunday. We understand your client has asked daughter if she wants to go to a party at her uncle's house on Saturday afternoon, but daughter does not wish to go to her Uncle's house on Saturday."
Actually it would be easier to just say yes to everything if your daughter wants to go to the party at Uncle's house as that shows you as the more flexible one during the interim. PROVIDING ex gives some extra time with son. Presumably this party is for 12.30! so she'll say not possible to give extra time.
If that's the case maybe you could ask solicitor to send something like
"As it is son's birthday on Friday, Dad has agreed Mum can collect both children from school until 6.30pm and we ask that your client is equally as considerate of son's time with his Father and offers additional time over the week-end as make up time".
And just leave it at that. If she doesn't then it's just one more week-end. And you still get to see your son on his birthday.
It's going to be a tough time until the next hearing and it doesn't help if your son's birthday is on your next Friday with him. Personally I wouldn't have changed that Friday arrangement - I'd have said she can celebrate his birthday on the Thursday or Saturday instead.
But that shows you were reasonable saying you wouldn't pick him up till 6pm.
To be honest, what your ex does with your daughter during the supervised 3 hours is not something you can have much say in - as long as the time is supervised by Grandad - doesn't really matter whose houses she goes in probably. It doesn't say she can only be supervised in a public place, it just says supervised. The wording is a bit vague perhaps though as "in the community" could mean anything.
What does your daughter say about all this? Does she want to go to the party? Does she want to go from school on Friday? Clearly if your ex is having a party for your son over your daughter's time, maybe there wouldn't be much choice!
If you have agreed to let her have your son from school until 6pm then she should be allowing extra time.
I would suggest your solicitor sending:
"Dad has agreed Mum collecting both childrens from school until 6.30pm on Friday as it's son's birthday. This is on the basis that your client agrees to make up this time on Saturday, so Dad returns son at 3pm rather than 12.30pm (or whatever). Please let us know which 3 hours you wish Dad to bring daughter to your client on Sunday. We understand your client has asked daughter if she wants to go to a party at her uncle's house on Saturday afternoon, but daughter does not wish to go to her Uncle's house on Saturday."
Actually it would be easier to just say yes to everything if your daughter wants to go to the party at Uncle's house as that shows you as the more flexible one during the interim. PROVIDING ex gives some extra time with son. Presumably this party is for 12.30! so she'll say not possible to give extra time.
If that's the case maybe you could ask solicitor to send something like
"As it is son's birthday on Friday, Dad has agreed Mum can collect both children from school until 6.30pm and we ask that your client is equally as considerate of son's time with his Father and offers additional time over the week-end as make up time".
And just leave it at that. If she doesn't then it's just one more week-end. And you still get to see your son on his birthday.
He is, he doesn't know what the he'll is going on, he questioned why daughter got to spend more time with me when they came back and was told by mother that she only gets a little time with daughter, again that's her choice, but sons choice is also to spend more time with me, no wonder he thinks she's the favourite.
I didn't really have a choice to agree to her having son after school on his birthday, I sent my solicitor a few emails saying what I wanted after this was put to me, they emailed next day to say they could no longer work on my case as my account is in arrears but had had a letter off her solicitor asking if I screed with everything, it was too late to say anything other than yes as it was nearly time to go for him, yet the day before I'd been told I couldn't contact her solicitor direct as I was instructing them, contradicting again.
I've no doubt she's arranged the party on daughters time so that it can't be rearranged. My daughter doesn't really want to go as she knows what happens at these kids parties, they turn into adult parties very quickly with everyone drinking.
I'm pissed off that she seems to be getting whatever she wants but there's no compromise to me and my son, she's using his birthday as further manipulation to have more time with her, and she will use it at court but I'll say it was a special occasion so didn't want to upset her little brother.
What she doesn't get is that the more she pushes our daughter the more she will want less time with her, this is one of the reasons she didn't want to see her in the first place as she knows this is what she does
Your daughter sounds very astute. Ha - solicitors do that. They won't do anything else until you pay some money. Any news about the legal aid yet? Don't worry - if you don't get it, we can help you through with things.
You'll need to ask the solicitors if they're still pursuing the legal aid claim - you don't want them not doing that until they're paid. Surely they'd get paid once that was sorted? I don't know much about how legal aid works tbh. It's rare for Dads to get it! Usually because the Mother applied first.
You'll need to ask the solicitors if they're still pursuing the legal aid claim - you don't want them not doing that until they're paid. Surely they'd get paid once that was sorted? I don't know much about how legal aid works tbh. It's rare for Dads to get it! Usually because the Mother applied first.
I did confirm that they are still dealing with legal aid for me, problem is that if its granted it starts on the day, it can't be back dated so I'm not sure how I'd stand, whether they'd continue working once its there or if they still wouldn't until I pay them. If not then I'd have to look for someone else with legal aid already in place.