Hey everyone. Im new here and wonered what others may think of my situation and offer constructive advice on how to proceed.
I split/divorced with my ex of 9yrs back ib 2019,
When we split she left me with our now 4 yr old son Full time for the following 3 years. She didnt see him, call, or message once durring these 3 years.
I was juggling everything and after 3 years i decided to apply for child maintenance.
After all our child was planned and why should i have to do this all by myself.
When i did this, out of the blue she requested to have my son 50/50.
So i arranged an order for the 50/50 meaning financially she would be responsible also.
Then when this started around in July 2021, 2months in she appiled to the court to try and get my son Full Time as she stated she had a job in Cambridge and wished to move there and that it was beneficial for our son to be with her all the time.
Fast forward first court hearing we both set out our plans and as my son would be attending school in 2022 the court advised i seek suitable school in my area of Northamption and she do the same in Cambridge where she needed to move too.
Fast Forward to the final hearing given that i had been Full Time primary carer for so long before our agreed 50/50, the courts basically lead her down the path of hes basically staying put. (Tiny Win) before i even has a chance to speak.
It also came to light that she had not applied for any school in the proposed area, or sort accomedation.
But i had here in Northampton because i didnt want to miss the submission date for him to recieve his School place.
So the court order i got was he was to remain in Northants
So the court also said the order does not state which school he attends just that this also has to be Northants area.
But as i was the only parent to apply and she had not they said its logical for him to go to schoo where i had chosen as he cant be without one.
This nearly fiancially crippled me with legal fess etc. But it was also my suspicion she didnt intend to move at all and made this story up to use the court as a vehicle to remove our son from my care.
So now my sons started school in Sept 2022 we are co parenting 50/50 one week with me and the other with my ex but i have zero contract with my son when hes at his mums, i receive no calls or updates and my son tells me he asks to call me but mum says no.
Back in November she started to complian as the school is 12 miles away from her in the car it was not suitable for her for him to attend the school.
Im not irrational i said to her i would always review the school if its in the interests of my son.
She came back saying she only has 1 proposal and its this school. Needless to say it sounded like a demand not any rational proposal so i declined.
Now my sons been attending school since last September ive been paying towards his PALS sessions (basically breakfast and afterschool) sessions. about £100 a month.
This is more than my fair share, it should be about 30 to month, This is because we split the Child benefit also to 40quid a month, so total £70, but i help out where i can. But i discovered out of this £100 she been taking money off the this to fund her petrol to take our son to school and not putting towards his clubs.
Now she has been confronted about this, again shes become angry and irrational stating its too far for her to drive and she shouldnt be affected by this.oh and instead of solving her situation by moving closer to his school she has now moved even further away.so its about 18miles away now.
i try to step our of my body and see this situation for all sides but i cant for the life of me see why she is being so angry at me all the time since court and all our conversations are whats best for her nd not our son.
Shes now threatening to just remove him from school without my concent.
All i want is whats best for my son, no drama or headaches but it seems an impossible ask.
Im trying my best but never seems enough and she just has this uncanny knack of making me feel like the bad person.
Just curious if anyone else in a similar situation has any advice are there any orders i can apply to the court to change the terms of coparenting such has phonecalls etc and any prevention orders so she cant just remove him with my permission.
Any help is greatly appriciated.
Thanks
Matt
I split/divorced with my ex of 9yrs back ib 2019,
When we split she left me with our now 4 yr old son Full time for the following 3 years. She didnt see him, call, or message once durring these 3 years.
I was juggling everything and after 3 years i decided to apply for child maintenance.
After all our child was planned and why should i have to do this all by myself.
When i did this, out of the blue she requested to have my son 50/50.
So i arranged an order for the 50/50 meaning financially she would be responsible also.
Then when this started around in July 2021, 2months in she appiled to the court to try and get my son Full Time as she stated she had a job in Cambridge and wished to move there and that it was beneficial for our son to be with her all the time.
Fast forward first court hearing we both set out our plans and as my son would be attending school in 2022 the court advised i seek suitable school in my area of Northamption and she do the same in Cambridge where she needed to move too.
Fast Forward to the final hearing given that i had been Full Time primary carer for so long before our agreed 50/50, the courts basically lead her down the path of hes basically staying put. (Tiny Win) before i even has a chance to speak.
It also came to light that she had not applied for any school in the proposed area, or sort accomedation.
But i had here in Northampton because i didnt want to miss the submission date for him to recieve his School place.
So the court order i got was he was to remain in Northants
So the court also said the order does not state which school he attends just that this also has to be Northants area.
But as i was the only parent to apply and she had not they said its logical for him to go to schoo where i had chosen as he cant be without one.
This nearly fiancially crippled me with legal fess etc. But it was also my suspicion she didnt intend to move at all and made this story up to use the court as a vehicle to remove our son from my care.
So now my sons started school in Sept 2022 we are co parenting 50/50 one week with me and the other with my ex but i have zero contract with my son when hes at his mums, i receive no calls or updates and my son tells me he asks to call me but mum says no.
Back in November she started to complian as the school is 12 miles away from her in the car it was not suitable for her for him to attend the school.
Im not irrational i said to her i would always review the school if its in the interests of my son.
She came back saying she only has 1 proposal and its this school. Needless to say it sounded like a demand not any rational proposal so i declined.
Now my sons been attending school since last September ive been paying towards his PALS sessions (basically breakfast and afterschool) sessions. about £100 a month.
This is more than my fair share, it should be about 30 to month, This is because we split the Child benefit also to 40quid a month, so total £70, but i help out where i can. But i discovered out of this £100 she been taking money off the this to fund her petrol to take our son to school and not putting towards his clubs.
Now she has been confronted about this, again shes become angry and irrational stating its too far for her to drive and she shouldnt be affected by this.oh and instead of solving her situation by moving closer to his school she has now moved even further away.so its about 18miles away now.
i try to step our of my body and see this situation for all sides but i cant for the life of me see why she is being so angry at me all the time since court and all our conversations are whats best for her nd not our son.
Shes now threatening to just remove him from school without my concent.
All i want is whats best for my son, no drama or headaches but it seems an impossible ask.
Im trying my best but never seems enough and she just has this uncanny knack of making me feel like the bad person.
Just curious if anyone else in a similar situation has any advice are there any orders i can apply to the court to change the terms of coparenting such has phonecalls etc and any prevention orders so she cant just remove him with my permission.
Any help is greatly appriciated.
Thanks
Matt