My Story - As it Happens

[Richie1989]

Okay, to borrow from the format of recent posts by members going to FH, here is my summary to date:

- 2 Children (7&10), seperated Q1 2022, stayed in FMH, filed Divorce Q2 2023, forced to file C100 1m later, Finances filed against me 2m later
- Effective failed marriage, STBX verbally and emotionally abusive to the kids as a proxy of her frustration with me, this led to separation after I stopped trying to convince her this wasn't right and just stepped in the middle, the shadow of potential divorce changed her approach in the 12m before I had the courage to actually file.
- Full time working Dad including regular weekends, even through Covid. When I wasn't working Kids were with me, STBX absconded her involvement even when pushed by children, whilst forcing me out of daily care, all runs, bath time etc, which I'd been fully involved in when the kids were younger.
- At c100 filing, was doing partial morning routine in FMH, all school dropoffs, regular homework and reading, all weekend time
- STBX Solicitor cut down quality time , tried to force out from FMH to remove care time, threatened NMO but didn't file
- Since c100 filling, denied proper holiday time, denied overnights outside the house

Been though 1x FHDRA, 1xDRA several rounds of mediation and now headed to FH this month.

I was offered 5 nights and teatime, I've asked for full 50/50 given no welfare concerns, no fact find, no s7, flexibility at work and proven involvement with education, medical, clubs etc

Let's see what life brings us!

Sounds very very similar to my situation so I wish you all the best! When is the FH?
My ex offered 5 over nights and I got 6 and a Sunday until 5pm so more or less 50/50 apart from a few hours. Shared with live with order is vital for you and can’t see you not getting that! I think I have said it before there is a trend of judges/barristers trying to get it down the middle so no victors or losers. I compromised the Sunday over night to make sure I got Wednesday - Sunday without any interruption. I agreed to stagger as well which my barrister said by doing this is shows I am willing and flexible. I didn’t want to at all but it’s only a time game once the order is final. Power to you matey! Looks like your on a fantastic position

 

[MagicJ]

Thanks,

Ive looked at the different options on a 5, 6 or 7 and game planned what I feel is best.

Lets hope that once the verdict has handed down, whatever the number there are no games on the specifics and we can just get the order sealed there and then!

 

[Jumper85]

Good luck Magic

 

[Dirge]

All the best mate, hope you get the result you've worked so hard for - keep us posted.

 

[bujanin]

- if this is not FH but we're doing WS, does it mean we're likely to do WS again for a FH?
- does the ordering of a WS mean this next hearing is likely to turn into a FH? ( it's only slated for 1hr)

Hello MagicJ

I am beginning to prepare a WS for a contested interim hearing soon with a FH scheduled for a couple of months after. Was it right that you only prepared the one WS or have you amended or submitted a new WS in advance of your FH?

Do you think that if your hearing had been scheduled for two hours it could have evolved into the FH?

I feel daunted but as you said elsewhere starting is the hardest part.

 

[MagicJ]

Hello MagicJ

I am beginning to prepare a WS for a contested interim hearing soon with a FH scheduled for a couple of months after. Was it right that you only prepared the one WS or have you amended or submitted a new WS in advance of your FH?

Do you think that if your hearing had been scheduled for two hours it could have evolved into the FH?

I feel daunted but as you said elsewhere starting is the hardest part.

Hey @bujanin , that is right, I can't recall if you had your FHDRA, if so, I assume this is a second DRA hearing as opposed to FF or to discuss an S7?
In my situation, we had the FHDRA & then a second DRA, specifically to present WS, I think the Judge hoped it may lead to an agreement but my STBX is entrenched with Family & Solicitor so I'm not sure if more time would have resolved it.

As you rightly state, I never got the chance to submit any further WS or amend it after this point, so my read of the situation has been there will only ever be a single WS where you can submit evidence, after this you can only put in Position Statements and whilst rules can be blurred, any decent DAB will prevent any attempt at submitting further evidence.

 

[bujanin]

I can't recall if you had your FHDRA, if so, I assume this is a second DRA hearing as opposed to FF or to discuss an S7?

Thanks

My next hearing is called a Contested Interim Hearing on submissions only followed two months later by what I refer to as a FH but is billed as a DRA.

 

[MagicJ]

Everyone who has supported my journey, has been following it with interest or has read through to this point.
I have now posted the results of this part of our journey, you can find it in the Court Results section, link below:

Final Hearing Results

Hi All, I wanted to share the result of my journey, fighting on behalf of my children for their rights to have the best of both parents fully involved in their lives. Living in the FMH has been an incredible challenge with continuous threats of NMO's & shenanigans placing the children in...

dadswithkids.co.uk