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Insomnia!

Kyle

Kyle

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Despite trying to keep my mind busy with work, studying for an IT certification, learning to play the guitar as a way of releasing nervous energy, going to the gym every weekday evening to keep fit and help tire me out, I am having a real hard time sleeping at the moment.

My next court date is not until February 26th and even though I am not as affected by the lastest round of the exes obstructive games as I was when it first started at the beginning of 2022, I am getting into bed at 10pm, feeling really sleepy. I'm out like a light, then I am having weird dreams about my little boy and waking up at 23:30 and cannot get back to sleep for the rest of the night. Lying there staring at the ceiling feeling anxious. I'm nodding off again about 5am, then my alarm goes off at 7am. I am shattered.

The dreams are not helping. They have been the same dream the last three nights in a row, just in different settings, but the dream is, I am driving my car through my town and I end up seeing my boy out walking by himself and I can't get to him. The closer I try and get the further he gets away. I try to turn the car round to double back but when I do he's gone. He see's me in my car in the dream and looks right at me but the dream won't let me get near him.

It's obvious that it's just my mind missing him and having some sort of cognitive consolidation of emotions and memory. I'm hoping it's temporary as I am struggling to concentrate during the day.

I'm hoping that coming on here to write about it with a mug of hot milk helps to relieve the issue.

Does anyone have any tips for better sleep that I'm not already doing, other than bashing myself over the head with a heavy object?!
 
Really sorry Kyle. Insomnia is the pits. I also had it during proceedings and I didn't find any real solutions other than to just catch a nap when you can so you don't get too sleep deprived. Otherwise, things like avoiding tea and coffee after 6pm are supposed to help. You could get sleeping pills but they can make you feel pretty rough next day too.

The dreams, as you probably know, are anxiety dreams. Actually one thing I remember that did help was a meditation tape once in bed (I think NHS have some on their website). They actually used to send me to sleep very quickly and in a relaxed state.
 
I think putting in the airpods with some relaxing, happy music might settle my mind down. I'll seek out the meditation tapes though.

Thanks Ash.
 
@Kyle ,I'm sure you've done this before but have you tried sitting down and listing your current Anxieties then rearranging it into what you can impact and what is out of your control.

It might help to alleviate the dream.

I'd avoid any caffeine products after 3-4pm as they stick around in your bloodstream for 6-8 hours

Are you having the same issue after a gym session? I've found a heavy gym session and a warm shower an hour or two before bed to help
 
Be careful not to tear any muscles/get injuries though if doing gym sessions while tense. I used to do long walks.
 
I'll just add to all this that the way I found worked best for anxiety was to be proactive. In cases where you're waiting for something - eg a hearing, and there's nothing proactive you can do, then distraction and relaxation are the only things you can do really. But I also like MJ's idea of lists as writing things down can feel proactive and help organise the brain.
 
MagicJ said:
@Kyle ,I'm sure you've done this before but have you tried sitting down and listing your current Anxieties then rearranging it into what you can impact and what is out of your control.

It might help to alleviate the dream.

I'd avoid any caffeine products after 3-4pm as they stick around in your bloodstream for 6-8 hours

Are you having the same issue after a gym session? I've found a heavy gym session and a warm shower an hour or two before bed to help
Click to expand...

Yes I think I've dealt with what I can control. I've written a Position Statement which took a few days of drafting and rewording to sound concise and non-critical.

I only drink leaded coffee in the morning. Unleaded after lunch.

I would of though that daily full-body weight sessions would help me sleep, and even though I am very tired, my brain is in tumble dryer mode.

I'm affraid of Googling "Pink Noise" as I'm nervous about the results!! :ROFLMAO:
 
Ash said:
Be careful not to tear any muscles/get injuries though if doing gym sessions while tense. I used to do long walks.
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I'm a seasoned weight lifter. I think I've already torn everything there is to tear doing sports!

I've just bought myself a new pair of hiking boots and have been spending my Sundays looking for the biggest hills to stomp over. It's helping during the daytime.
 
I was same last night Kyle!
Awake from 2am just going over things in my head. Making sure I havnt missed anything for my final statement evidence. Sending messages to myself of things to include! Thing is I know I have included them but it’s just in case I forgot or missed them. Or thought I had. Bonkers!
I find a shower in the dark really helps me switch off. Maybe it’s called hydrotherapy! 🤷‍♂️😂.
 
I can be lying there in bed and my brain will think of something good to go in my Position Statement and that prompts me to either grab my phone to make a note of it or I get up completely to switch on the computer to edit the draft. I really need to stop myself from doing this!
 
Kyle said:
I can be lying there in bed and my brain will think of something good to go in my Position Statement and that prompts me to either grab my phone to make a note of it or I get up completely to switch on the computer to edit the draft. I really need to stop myself from doing this!
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Yes, snap! Suppose it a way of coping with the trauma/anxiety of the situation. As tiring as it is I would say it’s quite normal for somebody who really cares about their kids and is hoping for things to change.
I would be more concerned if I was sleeping like a newborn while such things are going off. It’s fight or flight mode, it’s our brains way of getting ready to get into battle! 💪
How long have you got to wait until your hearing?
 
Yes my final hearing is 4 weeks on Friday.
Yes I agree! It’s not good for the mind and soul. I was tempted to go swimming this evening but not have time. So footy and a couple of beers it is! Maybe a midnight shower in the dark 😂. I find reading really helps as well.

Do you have an arrangement at the moment?
You hoping for 2-2-5-5 or equal shared live with arrangement?
 
Kyle said:
I can be lying there in bed and my brain will think of something good to go in my Position Statement and that prompts me to either grab my phone to make a note of it or I get up completely to switch on the computer to edit the draft. I really need to stop myself from doing this!
Click to expand...
Any blue light is going to disrupt your sleep, maybe phone on warm night mode, hit the audio record app & record the thought with your eyes closed.

That should minimise the total disruption and let you zonk back out hopefully.

I also found deletion of EVERY distraction app, games, streaming etc so my phone wasn't a draw.

Another helpful tip is mindfulness, eyes closed, slow breathing and feeling bed under you , letting your body sink in.

Some of those sleep audios work well with that technique.

MJ
 
Kyle said:
I'm hoping things settle down again as I don't want to be getting only 2 hours sleep a night until the end of February!
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I can relate to this. My solution has been to turn the phone ring and notification alert off and listen to a podcast setting the auto off at 15 minutes. I have a prefered couple of shows and can wake 5-8 times a night. I put the podcast back on with the 15 minutes auto off and focus on the talking which gets me off again. For an hour!

I've realised that most days I think non-stop about my daughter, the general situation and the conversations that I would like to have with the shysters that are conspiring with my ex. Sometimes during the day I am chuntering away to myself working through a speech that I would like to give in the final hearing. Yoga nidra is deeply relaxing.
 
Richie1989 said:
Yes my final hearing is 4 weeks on Friday.
Yes I agree! It’s not good for the mind and soul. I was tempted to go swimming this evening but not have time. So footy and a couple of beers it is! Maybe a midnight shower in the dark 😂. I find reading really helps as well.

Do you have an arrangement at the moment?
You hoping for 2-2-5-5 or equal shared live with arrangement?
Click to expand...

Yes, walked away from a Final Hearing in March with every other weekend, but building up hours gradually throughout 2023 to make the ex feel empowered until she had a wobbler a few weeks ago and now refuses to comply, so I had to apply to enforce.

Unfortunately I have to work, so EOW is all I can hope for. I asked for every weekend but you're never likely to get that based on the family courts view that weekends should also be shared.

Last night was still the same. Sleepy as hell about 9pm. Managed to fight it until 10pm. Got into bed, out like a light. Woke bolt upright at 12:30 with this repetitive sense of dread that I keep experiencing. I've never felt anything like it. Laid there till 3am when i finally nodded off again.
 
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