Independent Social Worker (ISW)

[Conan]

Hi Conan,

Could you please let me know how did you source the ISW? Did court ask you specifically to provide 3x ISWs contact and mother should select one out of 3 and also agree on the instructing letter? The court gave the mother a week to review the instructing letter. So far she has missed all deadlines and not sure what to do, I am concern if I do C2 App, court will order in her favor again.

Hi Gooddad
Originally it was going to be a contact centre but the wife insisted on an ISW which she sourced and recommended to the court. Originally, I didn't like it but my Barrister encouraged me to go along with it as the ISW will have to follow professional boundaries.

The arguments for an ISW - keeps the children within community settings and out of contact centres. eg I've been to pubs for tea, softplay centres and taking the dog for a walk. The key is to drive progression to get the kids home. but wife is resistant.

I'm based in the North West but the ISW covers the whole country,

Its based on keeping kids in the most natural settings possible.

 

[Conan]

Hi Ash,/Gooddad
Interesting update from contact number 7 yesterday (Shared birthday celebrations in a pub, over tea with my children and observed by ISW). This has been ongoing now since July 2024, Mum constantly blocking progression eg more time, unsupervised and return home - she is constantly writing to ISW with concerns, issues etc and projecting onto the children.

In my case, every ISW contact report is glowing (7 now completed)

Interesting conversations with ISW before and after contact session last night, she opened up to me:

1. She has been attempting to arrange a 1:1 with the children at their school to discuss feelings etc on return home or if any issues etc etc. Mum agreed to this happening at their school but is now insisting on a witness present (one of her friends/ or a parent at the school - I don't know who? The ISW rolled her eyes as she states i just need to do my job etc.

2. She stated that following the session with the children, she intends to apply pressure onto Mum regarding progression for the children to move to unsupervised and return home - she'll want to know why she is constantly blocking this happening.

3. ISW also stated that she is happy to raise in court that all she has observed and seeing is a loving relationship between a father and his children and she will stand up in court to testify on that!

4. In addition, I listened to the children stating that Mum is taking them out of school this Friday for 3 nights away at a holiday camp. No notification to me and I am due to go to parents evening this Thursday, thoughts - Should I question this to the school (eg fixed penalty notices or as for clarification whether they know if its on emotional grounds?) something smells very fishy here? Or remain quiet and let thechildren go away and have some fun!

Any thoughts, opinions welcome.

 

[Peanut 21]

Point 4, depends on if the ex has got permission to take the kids out of school/prepared to pay the fine/will say kids are sick.
It might be worth grinning and bearing it. It's frustrating as there's no way she'd let you do the same.

 

[Ash]

As long as it's not cancelling your time with the kids this week-end I wouldn't say anything. Just note it down.

 

[Conan]

As long as it's not cancelling your time with the kids this week-end I wouldn't say anything. Just note it down.

Thanks Ash
What are your thoughts about ISW being subjected to a witness? Implications for the final hearing and position statements?

 

[Ash]

You mean a witness to her talking to the kids at school? That's ridiculous. She's a professional. It would be up to the ISW I think - who might say - ok have her teacher present but she's not going to accept some friend of ex's being there.

 

[Conan]

You mean a witness to her talking to the kids at school? That's ridiculous. She's a professional. It would be up to the ISW I think - who might say - ok have her teacher present but she's not going to accept some friend of ex's being there.

Hi Ash
Yes, the ISW told me that she wanted a witness present when she saw the children. I guess I'm overthinking it and will just see what happens.

 

[Peanut 21]

You mean a witness to her talking to the kids at school? That's ridiculous. She's a professional. It would be up to the ISW I think - who might say - ok have her teacher present but she's not going to accept some friend of ex's being there.

I think a teacher or school counsellor would be normal and professional. No way another parent or friend as they're biased and might prompt the kids.

 

[Gooddad]

Just wondering, does anyone know, why the other party's barrister, put some of the points in schedule rather than recitals?

 

[Ash]

I've seen a few things these days where recitals are put in a schedule. The order itself might say "Recitals (see schedule), does it say that?

 

[Gooddad]

I've seen a few things these days where recitals are put in a schedule. The order itself might say "Recitals (see schedule), does it say that?

It does, but I think when someone reads the order, they don't go to the schedule, it is some way of barristers to hide the truth in schedule rather than in recitals.

 

[autisticdad]

Hello everyone,

I am seeking advice regarding the use of Independent Social Workers (ISWs). Has anyone had experience with an ISW, and would you recommend relying on an ISW report as opposed to a Cafcass officer’s report? Any insights would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

I have been on supervised contact for 1.5 years because the fact-finding hearing kept getting pushed away for all sorts of reasons.
My suggestion is to take social services recommendations and use the 'same agency' they use (so the mother cannot say their contact notes are biased due to you paying for them; a professional agency the local autority uses wil be respected).

Speak to the agencies upfront and get their agreement. Then when you go to court say the Local Authority recommended XYZ and I would like to use them.

The usage of ISW and terms for regulating supervised contact should be set in an ex-tempore judgement or judgement after the welfare hearing (following the FFH). Any ambiguity and it will allow your ex to stop contact again.

If directions for a further hearing has not been given, I would put in a C2 application asking for the terms regarding the usage of an ISW be ordered. I would steer clear of a 'Family Assistance Order' because that would mean the cheapest option i.e. a contact center (like a glass jail cell).

Your ex should be sharing contact costs with you because domestic abuse allegations have not been proven and are not applicable. if the judge refuses to share costs you should very respectfully ask for the reason so it can be documented in recitals.

If you suspect UC fraud then you should report it.

 

[autisticdad]

1. Wife is deliberately dragging out supervised contact before next hearing and preventing return to overnights back home and unsupervised access.

Unfortunately unless there is a court order she can drag it out and does not have to comply with the s7.
If there is unsupervised contact then you could have the fact-finding set aside. The President of the Family Court has said time and again that a FFH is not required in all cases even when domestic abuse allegations have been made.

So if she allows unsupervised then she has no way to fight her case.

2. The ISW notified me she doesn't have the authority to order wife to do anything she advised I might have to exercise my PR (Responsibilities and or recourse to solicitor - I have held back on this as I am seeing the children and Cafcass know contact is taking place).
4. Cafcass remaining silent.

You have to be patient. Get the ISW to document and share notes of how the mother is restricting engagement.
This should be good evidence for you to show she is not working in the best interests of the children (and is putting her own interests first).

direct, unsupervised access was deliberately cut off by wife back in June 2023 for no reason.

What are you doing to challenge the mother? Are you working to demonstrate that there has been 'no change in the risk profile' regarding the children or mother since June 2023.

If there is no change in risk then the Judge should resume previous contact arrangements.

 

[autisticdad]

3. ISW also stated that she is happy to raise in court that all she has observed and seeing is a loving relationship between a father and his children and she will stand up in court to testify on that!

Be very careful about how you use contact notes and the ISW in court.
If the Judge feels the ISW is biased against the mother or in your favour then all the glowing contact reports will lose their worth. The Judge has broad case maangement powers in this regard.

I would rely on the contact notes and let the Judge decide!

 

[Conan]

Be very careful about how you use contact notes and the ISW in court.
If the Judge feels the ISW is biased against the mother or in your favour then all the glowing contact reports will lose their worth. The Judge has broad case maangement powers in this regard.

I would rely on the contact notes and let the Judge decide!

Thank you Autistic Dad. A further update, things have gone pear shaped as of yesterday. Mums solicitors have written to Cafcass following email exchange in September regarding Divorce and her solicitors bullying me on financial exchange. My response was calm but following paralegal input (after positive period of interaction with Mum and the children) my response included a comment whether Mum would like to reconsider divorce? if not then we need to follow a process (open and honest) exchange of financial information, which I didn't receive a response until yesterday when it was used against me - regurgitating the last hearing when S25 psychological assessment was dismissed her false claims of emotional and mental state of the divorce with no evidence. (I'm so sick of all these psychological games by women). Its so cruel.

After 7 very positive reports, all has grounded to a halt. (Final Hearing is in January)

Cafcass now reviewing the email and how to see the children on their own. Cafcass won't do it as no more allocated time and she is pushing it onto the ISW who is also struggling for time and has stated in the email trail that contacts with Dad have been going very well. sadly, due to this intervention its all become ugly and stopped. I'm reviewing how to respond to this latest low, low action by the wife.

 

[Ash]

Is the current time with the kids in an interim order? The financial side of divorce is separate to child arrangements, but as we know, ex's sometimes withold the kids as leverage or punishment.

 

[autisticdad]

my response included a comment whether Mum would like to reconsider divorce? if not then we need to follow a process (open and honest) exchange of financial information, which I didn't receive a response until yesterday when it was used against me - regurgitating the last hearing when S25 psychological assessment was dismissed her false claims of emotional and mental state of the divorce with no evidence. (I'm so sick of all these psychological games by women). Its so cruel.

Domestic abuse is irrelevant as conduct in Financial Arrangements or Divorce. It matters mostly in child arrangements and accordingly for child maintenance (number of nights you have with the child)/
You can google 'domestic abuse conduct' for recent case judgements regarding this.

I sincerely advice as a well wisher is to accept the divorce and stop asking the mother to re-consider the divorce.
Correspondence regarding this will be used against you as proof that you cannot 'accept the relationship has come to an end'. This will give cause for concern of you being a threat to the Mother which will result in a non-molestation order against you.

her solicitors bullying me on financial exchange.

You have a duty of full and frank disclosure under pre-action protocol. It would be wise to discuss mutual exchange of Form E with the Mother.

Cafcass now reviewing the email and how to see the children on their own. Cafcass won't do it as no more allocated time and she is pushing it onto the ISW who is also struggling for time and has stated in the email trail that contacts with Dad have been going very well. sadly, due to this intervention its all become ugly and stopped. I'm reviewing how to respond to this latest low, low action by the wife.

If the contact with children using an ISW has come to an end then you need to work collaboratively with Cafcass to give your inputs. Curtail making statements which paint your ex in a bad light and only raise concerns of what impact to the child of not having a relationship with you us.

Once CAFCASS report is out you can file a C2 seeking restoration of contact (if you had contact). Otherwise, you might be wise to file a C2 application and seek directions from the Judge, this might result in a hearing before Jan where you should 'only focus on the children'.

Happy to touch base again once CAFCASS report is out. Remember, CAFCASS is there to help you and are not biased. They can get biased if you give them trouble and are not respectful!

Draft an email but force yourself to wait 48 hours before sending it , no matter how tempted you feel. This will help you a LOT as you can think of the consequences and how a judge might interpret it in the future.

 

[Conan]

Thank you Autistic Dad. A further update, things have gone pear shaped as of yesterday. Mums solicitors have written to Cafcass following email exchange in September regarding Divorce and her solicitors bullying me on financial exchange. My response was calm but following paralegal input (after positive period of interaction with Mum and the children) my response included a comment whether Mum would like to reconsider divorce? if not then we need to follow a process (open and honest) exchange of financial information, which I didn't receive a response until yesterday when it was used against me - regurgitating the last hearing when S25 psychological assessment was dismissed her false claims of emotional and mental state of the divorce with no evidence. (I'm so sick of all these psychological games by women). Its so cruel.

After 7 very positive reports, all has grounded to a halt. (Final Hearing is in January)

Cafcass now reviewing the email and how to see the children on their own. Cafcass won't do it as no more allocated time and she is pushing it onto the ISW who is also struggling for time and has stated in the email trail that contacts with Dad have been going very well. sadly, due to this intervention its all become ugly and stopped. I'm reviewing how to respond to this latest low, low action by the wife.

Thank you for this feedback, Yes, I agreed to open and frank disclosure of Form E's but have received no response as you state they have used the reconsider divorce (as the issue) but I did caveat this with if not then to move forward to have full and frank exchange of financial info etc.

Good advice though.

 

[Conan]

Domestic abuse is irrelevant as conduct in Financial Arrangements or Divorce. It matters mostly in child arrangements and accordingly for child maintenance (number of nights you have with the child)/
You can google 'domestic abuse conduct' for recent case judgements regarding this.

I sincerely advice as a well wisher is to accept the divorce and stop asking the mother to re-consider the divorce.
Correspondence regarding this will be used against you as proof that you cannot 'accept the relationship has come to an end'. This will give cause for concern of you being a threat to the Mother which will result in a non-molestation order against you.

You have a duty of full and frank disclosure under pre-action protocol. It would be wise to discuss mutual exchange of Form E with the Mother.


If the contact with children using an ISW has come to an end then you need to work collaboratively with Cafcass to give your inputs. Curtail making statements which paint your ex in a bad light and only raise concerns of what impact to the child of not having a relationship with you us.

Once CAFCASS report is out you can file a C2 seeking restoration of contact (if you had contact). Otherwise, you might be wise to file a C2 application and seek directions from the Judge, this might result in a hearing before Jan where you should 'only focus on the children'.

Happy to touch base again once CAFCASS report is out. Remember, CAFCASS is there to help you and are not biased. They can get biased if you give them trouble and are not respectful!

Draft an email but force yourself to wait 48 hours before sending it , no matter how tempted you feel. This will help you a LOT as you can think of the consequences and how a judge might interpret it in the future.

Its also made me think hard that the wife / or ex wife to be will not want to sit on the stand to justify her actions by cross examination and so will do all she can to prevent that (if she could). But she'll fight me to prevent me from having shared care as she believes they are her children not ours. Her mother and her friends are toxic too and so want to push for the divorce and get all my accumulated money and assets that I have spent all my life accumulating.

If she gets majority custody or a lived with her order then she'll seek to have me removed from the family home which I have always paid for!

 

[Conan]

I've just returned home from work and all hell is breaking loose from wife's solicitors.

The issue is whether the ISW or Cafcass is going to do a further discussion with the children at their school. Both the ISW and Cafccass trying to palm it off to one another!

So Mum's solicitors is now threatening Cafcass to order and demand them to do the work or they will take the matter back to court and to reclaim costs if the Cafcass officer doesn't go back to the school to assess the children and demand that they extract the girls wishes from them to stay with Mum (they are 9) and if Cafcass don't do this they will further seek costs from the court.

Its so so ugly. Any advice, opinions?