Independent Social Worker (ISW)

[Ash]

The ISW should do it, not Cafcass. Your ex and her solicitor are just trying to get a biased report abd think Cafcass will give them it.

I’m not sure what to suggest though but I wouldn't think Cafcass would be intimidated by a solicitor.

 

[Ash]

I think if I were you I would ask the ISW to do it and for the ISW to let Cafcass know they are doing it. Or you could put in a C2 application for an urgent directions hearing and ask the court to order the ISW to do it (or indeed determine whether it needs doing at all). Because your ex is trying it on.

 

[Conan]

Thanks Ash, in the threatening email from Mum's solicitors if the ISW were to see the girls at school they want her to see the entire court bundle of old allegations etc etc and again threatening cafcass they will go after them if they do not do it. As you say they are threatening to take it back to court to change the last order.

They are angry that following 7 positive reports from the ISW that they demanded she was appointed they are now wanting to push her aside and also push Cafcass into a corner and bully them into producing a report that basically states the kids don't come back to me or the family home and that no access / supervised is maintained.

I am just horrified that the woman I married and her family to be so cruel and heartless, no compassion at all is truly shocking to me. I have done nothing wrong but I feel a shadow of who I was before. This has traumatised and damaged me.

Its messy and cruel what is happening, they are the lowest of the low solicitors. I'm trying to get the view of my paralegal what he can advise, but at the moment it might be prudent to see how Cafcass respond to the threats made to them. i'm heartbroken and now low on money as my last resources were being saved for the final hearing for two days in Jan.

There cards are on the table in what they intend to come at me and attack me at the final hearing (old allegations all dismissed, attack my emotional, mental state e.g acceptance of the divorce etc etc), it is so brutal and soul destroying. - I expect if it happens i will be questioned for hours. I feel sick with worry and stress. I was hospitalised with stress back in 2020 during covid, parents were so ill (dad died in 2021), mum dementia (had to also sort out parents home to pay for care etc), work was uncompromising and it just went on. But the knots in my stomach are coming back and its not good.

I thank you all for the help but I keep fighting for my children and not to be forcibly removed from their lives.

 

[Gooddad]

Thanks Ash, in the threatening email from Mum's solicitors if the ISW were to see the girls at school they want her to see the entire court bundle of old allegations etc etc and again threatening cafcass they will go after them if they do not do it. As you say they are threatening to take it back to court to change the last order.

They are angry that following 7 positive reports from the ISW that they demanded she was appointed they are now wanting to push her aside and also push Cafcass into a corner and bully them into producing a report that basically states the kids don't come back to me or the family home and that no access / supervised is maintained.

I am just horrified that the woman I married and her family to be so cruel and heartless, no compassion at all is truly shocking to me. I have done nothing wrong but I feel a shadow of who I was before. This has traumatised and damaged me.

Its messy and cruel what is happening, they are the lowest of the low solicitors. I'm trying to get the view of my paralegal what he can advise, but at the moment it might be prudent to see how Cafcass respond to the threats made to them. i'm heartbroken and now low on money as my last resources were being saved for the final hearing for two days in Jan.

There cards are on the table in what they intend to come at me and attack me at the final hearing (old allegations all dismissed, attack my emotional, mental state e.g acceptance of the divorce etc etc), it is so brutal and soul destroying. - I expect if it happens i will be questioned for hours. I feel sick with worry and stress. I was hospitalised with stress back in 2020 during covid, parents were so ill (dad died in 2021), mum dementia (had to also sort out parents home to pay for care etc), work was uncompromising and it just went on. But the knots in my stomach are coming back and its not good.

I thank you all for the help but I keep fighting for my children and not to be forcibly removed from their lives.

I am going through the same issues as you are, it's solicitors who provoke them so that they can make more money. The system is set up in away that, solicitors are running the game, they write the draft order which becomes a sealed order. The way that government has organised the law system is, to make people bankrupt and make solicitors wealthy by making false allegations and manipulating the cases. And guess what, the same lieiing barristers eventually become judges. What World are we living in.

 

[Gooddad]

I am also going through similar case, the fact finding hearing was back in April and after 3 days of pain, the court finally ordered to have a contact through an ISW, we are in mid Nov, and the ex still hasn't sort out the induction session with the ISW and I still haven’t seen my little son. The last time I saw him was back in early 2023.

 

[Peanut 21]

I am also going through similar case, the fact finding hearing was back in April and after 3 days of pain, the court finally ordered to have a contact through an ISW, we are in mid Nov, and the ex still hasn't sort out the induction session with the ISW and I still haven’t seen my little son. The last time I saw him was back in early 2023.

This is when judges should use their supposed power and punish the mothers for stalling the process. But they don't.

 

[Conan]

This is when judges should use their supposed power and punish the mothers for stalling the process. But they don't.

I'm so sorry Gooddad this is happening to you. I feel your pain.

This morning I was due to attend a planned parents learn with me session on Maths at the children's school, yet last night I received a message from the wife instructing me that she was taking the children out of the session as the school doesn't have sufficient skills to supervise me with the children !! WTF? This is following my email to Cafcass on Monday, following instruction from the ISW on Saturday during contact when she stated I needed to push now to progress contact towards return home, unsupervised and back to overnights.

So I shared all 8 very positive contact reports with Cafcass, including the last one which captured the children's wishes for them to return home and spend more time with me following directions from the ISW (to utilise a back door approach to capture the children's wishes, which we did in a very child focused way and which the ISW was happy with).

The result of this, no response from Cafcass - as yet, but a very negative action by Mum in preventing me from being involved in the children's education. Her statement about supervision to this extent or stopping me seeing the children at the school is not in the court order but she has acted nonetheless. What message has this sent to the children after I promised them I would be there. It has really hurt and upset me deeply.

Following advice I have kept away from the school to protect myself and ensure that no false allegations can be levied against me. But, this action by her has hurt the children. I shall, of course notify Cafcass of the situation but what teeth are they showing or guidance against such harmful and hurtful actions by Mum?

 

[Peanut 21]

as the school doesn't have sufficient skills to supervise me with the children !!

Classic move. She's trying to paint the picture you'll be this wild mad man who will flip out. When in fact the mother can't cope with putting on the facade of being civil to you and highlighting to the world you are not the problem she's made out you are.
My partner had similar. She would say he can't go to school events as it's not a safe place to supervise, even with teachers and other parents present. Yet a contact centre with quite often one social worker on shift, was.

 

[Conan]

Classic move. She's trying to paint the picture you'll be this wild mad man who will flip out. When in fact the mother can't cope with putting on the facade of being civil to you and highlighting to the world you are not the problem she's made out you are.
My partner had similar. She would say he can't go to school events as it's not a safe place to supervise, even with teachers and other parents present. Yet a contact centre with quite often one social worker on shift, was.

Thank you Peanut 21, that is spot on. It is a classic move by her and her toxic friends trying to provoke me. I've stood back, remained calm and will notify Cafcass of the situation but remain on higher ground.

 

[Gooddad]

Although I am trying to stay positive and continue with all these non sense procedures, but then again I realise, the entire system is not working, they are keeping dads in great stress to see their children and we are all going around the loop, keep giving all our money for legal expenses and making barristers more richer than they are already are. We are spending all our time week days and weekend to find out how we can prove to the court that we are all innocent and we should have contact with our children. The contact should not have stopped in the first place, if there is not solid proof that someone has done something wrong. I think, court should have a very high punishment for those who are making false allegations, so that no one come along with silly allegations, unless it is so bad that she decided to stop the contact. I think someone among us, should prepare a letter to parliament or our local MPs and get 1000 of dads to sign it (or some sort of petition) so that they change the law. I feel really sorry for dads and for myself, for what we are going through.

1.​

• UK Government and Parliament Petitions: If your petition is for UK-wide matters that the UK Parliament can act upon, you can use the official UK Government Petitions website.
  • Petitions receiving 10,000 signatures will get a government response.
  • Petitions reaching 100,000 signatures are considered for debate in Parliament.
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2.​

• Only issues that the UK Parliament or Government can legislate on are eligible for their platform.
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3.​

• Be clear and concise about the change you want and why it matters.
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4.​

• Share on social media, community groups, or email networks.
• Engage with local MPs or relevant advocacy groups to amplify your campaign.

 

[Peanut 21]

This is international but there are agencies trying to change policies. This is specific to parental alienation.