I sent the school and email Friday last week so waiting to hear back. Once they get back will also highlight this or I’ll call up if they do not respond to my email and highlight then.
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FDHRA help
- Thread starter Jayy_
- Start date
Hi all,
I’m absolutely fuming. Absolutely fuming.
Mother has acused me of domestic violence (we’ve never lived together) and also alcohol, I do not drink. She’s given graphic details other incidents that never occurred. I’ve never been arrested although she mentioned she called the police but didn’t press charges. Would this have been recorded? I’ve never had any call or interactions with the police.
They have suggested section 7 report
I’ve been told to inform any factually incorrect info. Do I need to be able to prove this? For instance she stated we were in a relationship for 3 years before child however I hadn’t even known her then.
They’ve also suggested a stepped approach. What would this mean?
Any help is appreciated
I’m absolutely fuming. Absolutely fuming.
Mother has acused me of domestic violence (we’ve never lived together) and also alcohol, I do not drink. She’s given graphic details other incidents that never occurred. I’ve never been arrested although she mentioned she called the police but didn’t press charges. Would this have been recorded? I’ve never had any call or interactions with the police.
They have suggested section 7 report
I’ve been told to inform any factually incorrect info. Do I need to be able to prove this? For instance she stated we were in a relationship for 3 years before child however I hadn’t even known her then.
They’ve also suggested a stepped approach. What would this mean?
Any help is appreciated
I assume you have just got your copy of the safeguarding letter. Yes - I was fuming too, when I got mine.
Remember Cafcass report what each of you say during the call - they don't determine if it's true or false - they are just supposed to report the responses to their questions. This letter is only to determine if the child is safe and what the current situation is, so the court has all the basic details. I think you said that they called you first because she wasn't available. That means she would have been told what you had said in your call and been given the opportunity to respond. From what you say, she used the chance to tell them about all these fictitious events about you in Glorious Technicolour. Make a list of all the factual errors, but as I said - they just report what each party has said, so you don't have to prove anything at this stage. Your list should simply state for each false allegation that it didn't happen or wasn't true - you don't have to justify or account for every non-event. Don't worry too much, as you can get to court early and talk to the duty Cafcass adviser and go through your list before the hearing. Your main point should be that if they had spoken to her first, you would have had a chance to respond to her false allegations in your call, but it was the other way round so you have to respond using your list.
Does the letter say anything about the Police? Near the beginning there should be a Summary, where it should state what enquiries they've already done. On mine under Police, it simply said No Trace for either party. Yours might say something else if the police have been involved. If you haven't had any interactions with the police, then that helps to prove her allegations are false. The same for any enquiries with the Local Authority or perhaps the school.
The stepped approach is probably their recommendation regarding contact. For example supervised contact for the first few visits, then unsupervised, then staying over etc.
Welcome to the CAFCASS letter, as above their job is to provide what each parent responded. Not to be judge and Jury.
Again in reference to the allegations you can and should submit a rebuttal statement and state what is and isn’t true.
Don’t go into war and peace quite literally just say Allegations XYZ did not happen or I have never called her XYZ.
Cafcass should have already completed lateral agency checks with both social care and Police and the letter will say if anything has been recorded.
You can also do a data request from the police for what they have on you.
Best advice though, drop the anger I know exactly how you feel, but if you show any hint of this either in your statements or in court your proving what she is saying.
Stepped arrangements are fine, if that is what cafcass are suggesting roll with it.
It just means you’ll start with maybe 1 day a week, and then in time scale up to more contact as you rebuild your bond
Again in reference to the allegations you can and should submit a rebuttal statement and state what is and isn’t true.
Don’t go into war and peace quite literally just say Allegations XYZ did not happen or I have never called her XYZ.
Cafcass should have already completed lateral agency checks with both social care and Police and the letter will say if anything has been recorded.
You can also do a data request from the police for what they have on you.
Best advice though, drop the anger I know exactly how you feel, but if you show any hint of this either in your statements or in court your proving what she is saying.
Stepped arrangements are fine, if that is what cafcass are suggesting roll with it.
It just means you’ll start with maybe 1 day a week, and then in time scale up to more contact as you rebuild your bond
Hi thank you both for the encouragement. It was the initial shock of all her ridiculous lies. I honestly cannot believe someone can stoop this low. I am much more calm now as they simply are so ridiculous, almost laughable.
@Razbert nothing on my side for the police. Only on hers. Similarly for local authority just issues on her end.
I will attend court earlier and speak to CAFASS. I emailed court this morning that I wish to go ahead so hopefully they honour this
@Razbert nothing on my side for the police. Only on hers. Similarly for local authority just issues on her end.
I will attend court earlier and speak to CAFASS. I emailed court this morning that I wish to go ahead so hopefully they honour this
Who suggested this? Ex or cafcass?
You could suggest this isn’t sufficient, and start with 4 hours a week. Perhaps supervised to start (if cafcass made the recommendation)
Supervised Contact - in the context of court ordered contact arrangements - mean supervised by a qualified social worker who will take notes about the contact session and write a report for the court. A supervised contact session is normally at a Contact Centre which you would have to pay for. In your case, because there may be no safeguarding concerns, you can suggest having the first session at the grandparents home where it wouldn't actually be called supervised, but supported by family.
Ok so it would be worth trying to get them to bite for supervised contact.
Yes it can be done by family, my interim contact was supervised by her mother for the first 4 sessions.
It’s odd they are not recommending contact though given there’s no connected agency info.
Just be mindful that, the court usually go with what cafcass recommend.
Yes there is no contact at all. I would appreciate some sort of contact.
If anyone has a spare moment at some time I would appreciate if someone could help make sense of the advice given to court. There is no official domestic abuse given by social or police just by mother and her mother. Is there anything that is a major concern I should look out for contest in my position statement? They have considered fact finding so does that mean the court will do it? Please see below:
Domestic abuse has been raised as a concern and therefore I have considered
Practice Direction 12J and whether there is a need for a Fact-Finding Hearing. (Mother) has been clear that the barrier to (Child) spending time with (Father) has been his lack of consistency and therefore domestic abuse has not been a determining factor. Further to this, (mother) was clear that if (father) says horrible things to her, she ‘goes lower’ which alludes to there not being a power imbalance and therefore I do not recommend that a separate Fact-Finding Hearing takes place.
- The Court will need to direct for Cafcass to complete a Section 7 report to assess
The following:
o What time (child) should spend with (father).
o Whether any support is required.
o Whether there should be a stepped approach to (child’s) time with his farher.
o (child’s) wishes and feelings, as far as they can be ascertained.
o The risks highlighted through this letter.
o (child’s) school to be consulted.
- The Court will need to direct for Family Solutions to provide a letter setting out their involvement with the family.
- Local borough assessment should be provided by the Local Authority and disclosed into these proceedings.
- Consideration to be given to a referral to the Planning Together for Children
- Programme once the section 7 assessment has commenced.
If anyone has a spare moment at some time I would appreciate if someone could help make sense of the advice given to court. There is no official domestic abuse given by social or police just by mother and her mother. Is there anything that is a major concern I should look out for contest in my position statement? They have considered fact finding so does that mean the court will do it? Please see below:
Domestic abuse has been raised as a concern and therefore I have considered
Practice Direction 12J and whether there is a need for a Fact-Finding Hearing. (Mother) has been clear that the barrier to (Child) spending time with (Father) has been his lack of consistency and therefore domestic abuse has not been a determining factor. Further to this, (mother) was clear that if (father) says horrible things to her, she ‘goes lower’ which alludes to there not being a power imbalance and therefore I do not recommend that a separate Fact-Finding Hearing takes place.
- The Court will need to direct for Cafcass to complete a Section 7 report to assess
The following:
o What time (child) should spend with (father).
o Whether any support is required.
o Whether there should be a stepped approach to (child’s) time with his farher.
o (child’s) wishes and feelings, as far as they can be ascertained.
o The risks highlighted through this letter.
o (child’s) school to be consulted.
- The Court will need to direct for Family Solutions to provide a letter setting out their involvement with the family.
- Local borough assessment should be provided by the Local Authority and disclosed into these proceedings.
- Consideration to be given to a referral to the Planning Together for Children
- Programme once the section 7 assessment has commenced.
Thanks noted. Why is it on one parent to pay for contact centre? Wouldn’t it be both. I know I shouldn’t waste time on these smaller things that will benefit me but it’s extremely annoying.
I think your suggestion to start contact sessions with the grandparents is the way to go. You can put this in your position statement but discuss this with the duty Cafcass adviser before the hearing, as the Section 7 recommendation seems to go against contact (see below).
You should refute the lack of consistency allegation - I think you said there were many other reasons why there were barriers - which weren't from you. I'm not sure I understand the not being a power imbalance reasoning, but the fact that they don't recommend Fact-Finding is a very good thing. Practice Direction 12J says that in Domestic Abuse cases, if a Fact-Finding hearing is necessary to determine if the allegations are true or not, in case they are, it's safer for the child not to have contact with the alleged abuser until the FF hearing has taken place. Because your letter does not recommend a FF hearing, it means that Cafcass probably have doubts about the mother's stories about abuse. If she was more convincing or there was Police or Child Services evidence to support her claims, then they would say a FF hearing is necessary. That is a good step forward that they don't.
[In my case, Cafcass did recommend fact-finding, but because I was able to show the safeguarding letter was wrong, the judge disagreed with fact finding saying the wellbeing of the child is more important.]
I'm not sure about the Family Solutions involvement letter - what did that mean? What was the Local Borough assessment?
The letter implies that a Section 7 report should be done to figure out the next steps, but also implies there shouldn't be contact until this is complete. There's nothing to stop you from saying that to re-establish contact between the father and the child is the most important thing for the child's welfare, and if a Section 7 report is necessary, it could be done concurrently.
In my case the court said I had to pay for the contact centre - partly because of the domestic abuse allegations against me and partly because she had legal aid and I didn't. I also ended up paying for a drug and alcohol test whereas hers was paid for by legal aid. As was her solicitor. And her barrister.
Rant over.
Thanks for breakdown. It was quite confusing at first but this makes sense.
The family solutions and local boroughs assesment were things mentioned from her run ins with social services, regarding issues with child inc physical harm and child neglect. I think it could be that CAFASS do not have the full information of what happened/full reports so they are requesting for these?
I will go forward with the grandparents and see how that goes. Understandably it is common for court to go with cafsss recommendations so will not hold my breath.
I have sent card and gift for his birthday in November and Christmas December. So these things have been done. Mother refused to give Christmas gifts as she stated I was manipulating. I will speak with CAFASS officer and maybe this could work in my favour idk
That is extremely frustrating. The injustice is very unfair
The cost of the family centre can soon stack up. I asked the court for the cost to be shared and it was ordered that way. No harm in asking.