False DA/DV Allegations?

[DannyK]

Hello Dads,

I'm trying to get a read on how many of us have been subjected to false Domestic Abuse/Domestic Violence allegations (by our Ex partners to gain legal / moral / financial advantage in relation to Child Arrangements) to get an understanding of how widespread this abuse of the court system (and us Dads) is.

And so have posted this poll, and would most appreciate your vote! Also, feel free to leave your experience of the false allegations in post below if you have time.

Depending on the result, I may write to my MP.

Thanks in advance!

 

[Richie1989]

Hello Dads,

I'm trying to get a read on how many of us have been subjected to false Domestic Abuse/Domestic Violence allegations (by our Ex partners to gain legal / moral / financial advantage in relation to Child Arrangements) to get an understanding of how widespread this abuse of the court system (and us Dads) is.

And so have posted this poll, and would most appreciate your vote! Also, feel free to leave your experience of the false allegations in post below if you have time.

Depending on the result, I may write to my MP.

Thanks in advance!

Yes, I had C1A submitted against me for emotional and psychological abuse of my ex and daughter, she reported me to police for stalking and harassment and then when all that failed and didn’t get anywhere - no criminal record, no social services, police NFA etc, she then submitted a part 25 day before first hearing (I submitted C100) claiming for professional intervention for alcoholism and me being mentally. I was ordered to do a PeTh test to show a months intake. It was also ordered I have 4 hours a fortnight supervised with my daughter during this time which was horrendous. I passed with PeTh test and mental health report with flying colours scoring a 32ng and no previous mental health issues. She refused to budge so I did another voluntary Peth test scoring 20ng which is basically abstinence and still wouldn’t budge. While this was unfolding she also decided to take my daughter out of the country not telling when, when and when would be back. She also refused to inform me about any illness, education changes and so on. So we submitted a urgent order and it was accepted! The urgent order became a dispute hearing as she agreed to unsupervised and one over night stay a fortnight minutes prior to the hearing. So the judge confirmed a final hearing which is in 2 weeks. She’s offered me 5 over nights and some day time to settle out of court. I have said now I want 50/50 shared live with arrangement so she again spat the dummy out, we swapped final statements 2 weeks ago and she is again claiming I can’t parent and need parenting course as I emotionally burden my daughter while simultaneously undermining her parenting. Nonsense! So it’s already a celebratory moment for me when at final hearing considering how far I have come but it’s been really hard mentally and very tiring and be dry very expensive. Hopefully the judge will accept my proposal of 2-2-5-5 and also a shared live with order to stop them from trying the same nonsense later down the line.

So yea I have been accused of everything! Apart from physical or sexual. They went down the DV controlling, abusive, stalking, harassment, mentally I’ll, alcoholic route

Nearly there now

 

[Resolute]

Hello Dads,

I'm trying to get a read on how many of us have been subjected to false Domestic Abuse/Domestic Violence allegations (by our Ex partners to gain legal / moral / financial advantage in relation to Child Arrangements) to get an understanding of how widespread this abuse of the court system (and us Dads) is.

And so have posted this poll, and would most appreciate your vote! Also, feel free to leave your experience of the false allegations in post below if you have time.

Depending on the result, I may write to my MP.

Thanks in advance!

Would it be a good idea to include "false" in the question?

 

[DannyK]

Would it be a good idea to include "false" in the question?

Good idea! But the option to edit it has passed I think

 

[DannyK]

Yes, I had C1A submitted against me for emotional and psychological abuse of my ex and daughter, she reported me to police for stalking and harassment and then when all that failed and didn’t get anywhere - no criminal record, no social services, police NFA etc, she then submitted a part 25 day before first hearing (I submitted C100) claiming for professional intervention for alcoholism and me being mentally. I was ordered to do a PeTh test to show a months intake. It was also ordered I have 4 hours a fortnight supervised with my daughter during this time which was horrendous. I passed with PeTh test and mental health report with flying colours scoring a 32ng and no previous mental health issues. She refused to budge so I did another voluntary Peth test scoring 20ng which is basically abstinence and still wouldn’t budge. While this was unfolding she also decided to take my daughter out of the country not telling when, when and when would be back. She also refused to inform me about any illness, education changes and so on. So we submitted a urgent order and it was accepted! The urgent order became a dispute hearing as she agreed to unsupervised and one over night stay a fortnight minutes prior to the hearing. So the judge confirmed a final hearing which is in 2 weeks. She’s offered me 5 over nights and some day time to settle out of court. I have said now I want 50/50 shared live with arrangement so she again spat the dummy out, we swapped final statements 2 weeks ago and she is again claiming I can’t parent and need parenting course as I emotionally burden my daughter while simultaneously undermining her parenting. Nonsense! So it’s already a celebratory moment for me when at final hearing considering how far I have come but it’s been really hard mentally and very tiring and be dry very expensive. Hopefully the judge will accept my proposal of 2-2-5-5 and also a shared live with order to stop them from trying the same nonsense later down the line.

So yea I have been accused of everything! Apart from physical or sexual. They went down the DV controlling, abusive, stalking, harassment, mentally I’ll, alcoholic route

Nearly there now

Wow. Yep, after the split (via C1a) my Ex accused me of the standard 3-course menu of DA/DV allegations on the way to the CAO FH for our (then 3yr old daughter), but definitely not as comprehensive as yours.

Although since the FH (I was awarded EOW Fri-Mon, 2x teatimes, half holidays), she has made yet more false allegations to her / daughter's GP, Social Services, etc, saying (amongst other things) that daughter comes back from our holidays / overnights with 'marks and bruises'.

Absolutely vile.

Social Services didn't seem that interested but am constantly living in fear now of the next wave of child abuse allegations.

And it's us Dads that are supposed to be the abusers!!!

How old is your daughter? And how far apart do you live? Mine is 4 now am considering going for more contact.

 

[Ash]

Good idea! But the option to edit it has passed I think

I've edited the title to include false but the title was then too long to fit in the allowed title box - so I've changed it to just false allegations (they can be of any kind then). Is that ok?

 

[Ash]

In my case it was after 8 years of co parenting with no issues. Against my partner initially (quite serious ones) and then against me a couple of years later. The ones against me were quite ridiculous low level ones, but as you know, social services take these things seriously. Apparently we were starving and poisoning him. The fact he'd hardly ever had a day off school should have knocked that on the head straight away! But it was followed up.

 

[Kyle]

Hello Dads,

I'm trying to get a read on how many of us have been subjected to false Domestic Abuse/Domestic Violence allegations (by our Ex partners to gain legal / moral / financial advantage in relation to Child Arrangements) to get an understanding of how widespread this abuse of the court system (and us Dads) is.

And so have posted this poll, and would most appreciate your vote! Also, feel free to leave your experience of the false allegations in post below if you have time.

Depending on the result, I may write to my MP.

Thanks in advance!

Hi @DannyK

There were close to 18,000 Child Arrangements Order cases processing through the Family Courts in England and Wales in the 3rd quarter of 2023.

An unacceptable number of these cases are based on bitter exes exploiting the woolly Family Law system by alleging one of the tried and trusted and so helpfully Government documented welfare risk list:

• Drug/alcohol abuse
• Domestic abuse
• Criminal activity
• Any other inappropriate behaviour that puts your child at risk.

So your bitter ex can justify obstructing your access to your child by alleging one or all of the above, and there's nothing you can do about it but apply for an order and contest the allegations in court.

Ultimately, allegations need to be proven, Police/Local Authority records, alcohol/drug tests etc, and the court must decide if a childs welfare is at risk by having 'contact' with their father. But this disrupts your relationship with your child for months, possibly years.

The wait for hearings takes 3-4 months. The average time it takes to get an order is 1 year. Some dads have been stuck in the process for 2-3 years, even longer.

I've had alcohol abuse (disproved)
Bruises from play alleged as child abuse (disproved)

I had it out with my local MP face to face during one of his constituency surgeries. They have absolutely no clout individually. We need to sign the petition to demend further family law reform.

The Family Courts are underfunded and understaffed. Social Services and CAFCASS are spectacularly not fit for purpose.

There's no legal framework that I'm aware of that adressess the issue of making false allegations in family law. In civil law its contempt of court, in criminal law its purjery.

A mother can only be held in contempt of court in a family court if she repeatedly breaches a court order, but these cases are as rare as Unicorn s**t. All they get is a stern talking too.

False allegations that are proven and desiged to disrupt a fathers time with his children out of malice should see an automatic switch of residency to the father.

 

[DB2021]

Yes my ex accused me of dv and risk of kidnapping our daughter.

I was lucky as yes ex got solicitor free but she wasnt anything special and there was never any mention of it in court which did surprise me but I think that does show how easily women can claim these things to get legal aid.

They can claim all sorts and they get what they need even if court don’t even entertain them at first hearing. My ex’s accusations have never once been mentioned in any reports or hearings. Only saw it on her response to my first application.

Thankfully for me it didn’t cause any major issues at first court application and current one they said she would have to pay a portion of fees so shocker she now doesn’t have a solicitor but she might aswell have with the SW we have.

 

[NewcastleBrownAle]

As I deal with statistics routinely, this poll is weakened to the point it doesn't have much value due to bias. The question has to be neutral, and a don't know,and decline to respond options need to be added. Bear in mind, the poll and indeed the post itself is only going to be of interest to those who have faced false allegations, hence the bias is introduced early on. So the bias this creates is sampling bias, question order bias and non response bias. This all sounds negative and I think we all agree the status quo with domestic violence needs to change as we currently have a system that encourages allegations of domestic violence, even if just to qualify for legal aid.

 

[MagicJ]

As I deal with statistics routinely, this poll is weakened to the point it doesn't have much value due to bias. The question has to be neutral, and a don't know,and decline to respond options need to be added. Bear in mind, the poll and indeed the post itself is only going to be of interest to those who have faced false allegations, hence the bias is introduced early on. So the bias this creates is sampling bias, question order bias and non response bias. This all sounds negative and I think we all agree the status quo with domestic violence needs to change as we currently have a system that encourages allegations of domestic violence, even if just to qualify for legal aid.

Not heard those terms since my geography gcse days!

 

[NewcastleBrownAle]

Not heard those terms since my geography gcse days!

I teach medicine at masters level, so appraising evidence and interpreting statistics is something I do for a living.

 

[NewcastleBrownAle]

Not heard those terms since my geography gcse days!

GCSE? back in my day it was CSE's or if you were brainy you could sit an o'level, but was advised against it. I got an O'level in woodwork.... LOL

 

[MagicJ]

We've both shown our era's albeit I just missed yours by a year or two

 

[NewcastleBrownAle]

We've both shown our era's albeit I just missed yours by a year or two

well, the chair I made for O'level,I kept.... my mum fell off it and broke her hip.......

 

[MagicJ]

well, the chair I made for O'level,I kept.... my mum fell off it and broke her hip.......

Is that what inspired the medical career?

 

[NewcastleBrownAle]

Is that what inspired the medical career?

Well, I clearly flunked as a carpenter !! I just wish I had become a solicitor,, certainly make life easier.

 

[MagicJ]

@Richie1989 is headed back to retrain as one , maybe you can cross train whilst on campus grounds?

 

[MagicJ]

sorry @DannyK , we've hijacked your thread!

 

[NewcastleBrownAle]

Ok, so what we need is to fix this poll, to give it some value. Maybe it should be a sticky or poll for all new members?