Finding this site and forum is both comforting and concerning in equal measures. It's reassuring to know I'm not alone but it's also worrying how common it is for fathers in the UK to be denied access to their children.
It seems my story is the same for many others. My ex and I parted ways after things fell apart and I moved out. Leaving my one year old baby boy behind was the worst day of my life. But things couldn't carry on. I have a very demanding job and was coming home at the end of the day and the house was in a state. My boy was still in his bedtime jumpsuit at 6pm, covered in yogurt and sticky. She was saying she had been busy all day and that it was now my turn to look after him as she was tired! I didn't believe her. I am not saying I am perfect. I am stubborn and sometimes grumpy but she is very lazy. She is also extremely controlling and manipulative. Always having an excuse that somehow seems to end up being my fault.
We had a verbal agreement that I had my son for four hours one evening in the week then overnight on Saturdays. About a month after moving out, I discovered that social services had gotten involved as the health visitor reported concerns that my ex was not looking after my son properly. I soon found myself in a Child Protection Conference with the local authorities where my ex began saying that I was the reason why my son was being neglected!
A whole year of social services involvement ensued with my ex blaming me for all of the problems. She claimed that the Child Protection Plan was all about me and why my son was not being looked after. The details were deliberately being kept from me and I later learned the truth, that the Child Protection Plan was all about her. All about getting her functioning and nothing to do with me. But at every opportunity she tried to drag me down with her. She refused to cooperate with social services and at one point it was looking like the local authorities would take my son away. But out of the blue, my ex began to comply and eventually social services ended their involvement.
The verbal contact agreement remained in place but she began denying me access every now and then if we had a disagreement about anything. Looking back, I should of began the Child Arrangements Order process back then. I didn't acknowledge the warning signs of what was to come.
Now after 5 difficult years, she has begun to make false allegations of alcohol abuse against me to deny me access to my son completely. I only go out on a Friday after work for a couple of pints with colleagues! I have not seen him since the 5th March. She is not communicating with me to sort things out. We have attended mediation but she stands by her allegations and refuses to budge so I submitted a C100 form on 4th April. A First Hearing and Dispute Resolution Appointment is scheduled for the 10th August! I will not have seen my son in six months by the time the court hearing comes around.
How in the world is this right?
I don't know what I am going to do if the court believes her and doesn't grant me access again.
K
It seems my story is the same for many others. My ex and I parted ways after things fell apart and I moved out. Leaving my one year old baby boy behind was the worst day of my life. But things couldn't carry on. I have a very demanding job and was coming home at the end of the day and the house was in a state. My boy was still in his bedtime jumpsuit at 6pm, covered in yogurt and sticky. She was saying she had been busy all day and that it was now my turn to look after him as she was tired! I didn't believe her. I am not saying I am perfect. I am stubborn and sometimes grumpy but she is very lazy. She is also extremely controlling and manipulative. Always having an excuse that somehow seems to end up being my fault.
We had a verbal agreement that I had my son for four hours one evening in the week then overnight on Saturdays. About a month after moving out, I discovered that social services had gotten involved as the health visitor reported concerns that my ex was not looking after my son properly. I soon found myself in a Child Protection Conference with the local authorities where my ex began saying that I was the reason why my son was being neglected!
A whole year of social services involvement ensued with my ex blaming me for all of the problems. She claimed that the Child Protection Plan was all about me and why my son was not being looked after. The details were deliberately being kept from me and I later learned the truth, that the Child Protection Plan was all about her. All about getting her functioning and nothing to do with me. But at every opportunity she tried to drag me down with her. She refused to cooperate with social services and at one point it was looking like the local authorities would take my son away. But out of the blue, my ex began to comply and eventually social services ended their involvement.
The verbal contact agreement remained in place but she began denying me access every now and then if we had a disagreement about anything. Looking back, I should of began the Child Arrangements Order process back then. I didn't acknowledge the warning signs of what was to come.
Now after 5 difficult years, she has begun to make false allegations of alcohol abuse against me to deny me access to my son completely. I only go out on a Friday after work for a couple of pints with colleagues! I have not seen him since the 5th March. She is not communicating with me to sort things out. We have attended mediation but she stands by her allegations and refuses to budge so I submitted a C100 form on 4th April. A First Hearing and Dispute Resolution Appointment is scheduled for the 10th August! I will not have seen my son in six months by the time the court hearing comes around.
How in the world is this right?
I don't know what I am going to do if the court believes her and doesn't grant me access again.
K