Very grateful for all the advice and insights so far.
We’re quite a way down multiple proceedings…. My ex has tried to kick me out, withhold contact, and tried to make significant financial decisions resulting in me obtaining an injunction to prevent her from selling our / my assets.
She’s been physically and verbally abusive and physically and verbally abusive to both children (5 and 14).
When I made the occupation application, which was granted by consent but is now being reinstated by the ex, I made a non-mol application but stated I did not want to rely on it at this time hoping things would get resolved.
My ex subsequently made a non-mol application with loads of false allegations (had me arrested 2X with NFA and third time I managed to show the police a court order so they didn’t arrest me) over the past 6 months.
CAFCASS and social services are NFA.
My ex agreed for me to have 80:20 care temporarily while she resolves her medical issues then 50:50 within a year (although I’m not sure if this is genuine.. her barrister starter formalising this but then not heard from him.)
Non-mol ex-parte application by ex was refused. At the f2f hearing it was thrown out, and a new witness statement ordered.
At next hearing the judge tried to encourage undertakings vs proceeding with fact finding: ex INSISTED on fact finding…. So I asked for the opportunity to provide a witness statement too…. which will feature her physical, verbal and financial abuse against me and the former two on the children. There is reasonable evidence and witnesses and a couple of false allegations that were witnessed (hence NFA by police).
In responding to her witness statement I feel I’ve covered most things (initially around 149 allegations then around 50 in the witness statement I was ordered to respond to).
She’s also refusing to give me the child passport, and making everything as difficult as possible… to the extreme.
Frustratingly my ex has twisted the confrontations around making me out to be the instigator, when I experienced it the other way around (saying that it take two to tango). From what I read here and hear from barristers; the more mud that a woman flings, the more chance something will stick.
Men don’t seem to come out of this positively, sadly.
I don’t understand the reason she’s perusing with the non-mol, other than perhaps to get legal aid (which she said she was trying to ask for) which means the 50:50 agreement is possibly a smoke screen.
Fortunately I put in top-line summaries of the abuse (mostly historic at that time) in my first application preceding hers.
I’m contemplating how to write the witness statement.
VERY concerned that the child focus will be lost which is what I expressed in court.
We have non-mol, contact, specific issues and finances to deal with.
If social services get involved again I worry they’ll only see the continued acrimony.
I’d value your thoughts and advice on how to proceed with the witness statement and try keep it child focussed; bearing in mind it’s a non-mol witness statement.
My initial view was to feature the children as much as possible - and limit the statement to the most serious assaults and issues…. Rather than detail every argument and incident …. Legal advise was to detail every incident as a strategy.
Appreciate your views on this devastating end to a relationship where the kids at most certainly gong to be negatively affected and the ex is determined to criminalise the end of the relationship farther than focus on moving forward with the interests of the children in mind.
We’re quite a way down multiple proceedings…. My ex has tried to kick me out, withhold contact, and tried to make significant financial decisions resulting in me obtaining an injunction to prevent her from selling our / my assets.
She’s been physically and verbally abusive and physically and verbally abusive to both children (5 and 14).
When I made the occupation application, which was granted by consent but is now being reinstated by the ex, I made a non-mol application but stated I did not want to rely on it at this time hoping things would get resolved.
My ex subsequently made a non-mol application with loads of false allegations (had me arrested 2X with NFA and third time I managed to show the police a court order so they didn’t arrest me) over the past 6 months.
CAFCASS and social services are NFA.
My ex agreed for me to have 80:20 care temporarily while she resolves her medical issues then 50:50 within a year (although I’m not sure if this is genuine.. her barrister starter formalising this but then not heard from him.)
Non-mol ex-parte application by ex was refused. At the f2f hearing it was thrown out, and a new witness statement ordered.
At next hearing the judge tried to encourage undertakings vs proceeding with fact finding: ex INSISTED on fact finding…. So I asked for the opportunity to provide a witness statement too…. which will feature her physical, verbal and financial abuse against me and the former two on the children. There is reasonable evidence and witnesses and a couple of false allegations that were witnessed (hence NFA by police).
In responding to her witness statement I feel I’ve covered most things (initially around 149 allegations then around 50 in the witness statement I was ordered to respond to).
She’s also refusing to give me the child passport, and making everything as difficult as possible… to the extreme.
Frustratingly my ex has twisted the confrontations around making me out to be the instigator, when I experienced it the other way around (saying that it take two to tango). From what I read here and hear from barristers; the more mud that a woman flings, the more chance something will stick.
Men don’t seem to come out of this positively, sadly.
I don’t understand the reason she’s perusing with the non-mol, other than perhaps to get legal aid (which she said she was trying to ask for) which means the 50:50 agreement is possibly a smoke screen.
Fortunately I put in top-line summaries of the abuse (mostly historic at that time) in my first application preceding hers.
I’m contemplating how to write the witness statement.
VERY concerned that the child focus will be lost which is what I expressed in court.
We have non-mol, contact, specific issues and finances to deal with.
If social services get involved again I worry they’ll only see the continued acrimony.
I’d value your thoughts and advice on how to proceed with the witness statement and try keep it child focussed; bearing in mind it’s a non-mol witness statement.
My initial view was to feature the children as much as possible - and limit the statement to the most serious assaults and issues…. Rather than detail every argument and incident …. Legal advise was to detail every incident as a strategy.
Appreciate your views on this devastating end to a relationship where the kids at most certainly gong to be negatively affected and the ex is determined to criminalise the end of the relationship farther than focus on moving forward with the interests of the children in mind.
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