Some useful terminology

[StayStrong]

Never say ‘custody’

And avoid ‘access’ too, say family lawyers who want to put children first

rozenberg.substack.com

This is a handy reminder for all Dads about using the appropriate terminology when dealing with STBX's, Courts, legal reps, Social Servicces, etc.

The article itself will probably resonate too. As for the new initiative, it sounds good but the proof will be in the eating.

Take care all, SS.

 

[proud_dad]

Agreed! So much of the terminology are labels that portray non resident parents as redundant, spare wheels, Disney dads, unimportant in the upbringing of the children.

Words are powerful. We need to use them appropriately.

I will never ever say to anyone that the kids are staying over, visiting me, having a night with me. I'll always say "they are living with me on x days". I will sometimes say "I'm caring for the kids at these times".

Thanks StayStrong for posting this article.

 

[Ash]

Cheers for that Stay Strong - spot on. Will sticky it.

The words become a habit - access, contact etc. Best to use other phrases that sound more normal like “when my son is at his home with me”. Or my son’s time with me at our home”.

It gradually shifts perceptions (except for an ex’s solicitor who will deliberately use “contact “ in a derogatory way.

I notice the article says court isn’t the best solution at these times but also says mediation hasn’t solved things either - I wonder what he thinks the solution is? Maybe he’s saying that it’s solicitors who should be using the right language and being more child focused and collaborative.

 

[si7160]

I just use the phrase the children are with their mum ,
They are on holiday with their mum
I will explain to the children your with your mum that weekend (if they want to do something), we can do it another time when you are with me ,
I don't use resident parent or parent with residence
Legally ( normally) there is only one difference between a parent with a live with order and one with spends time with,( one has consent to take the children abroad from the court and one has to ask the other parent for consent )
The default position should be 50:50 live with live with order ,
Just my view