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Second Hearing
- Thread starter DB2021
- Start date
@DB2021
Hey, I’ve just read your story. This probably doesn’t do much for you but I’m really sorry you’ve had it so tough. Speaking with Ash about your situation and it really bugged me to hear what you’ve been dealt. It’s cruel on yourself and your poor daughter who needs you.
I’m absolutely shocked how they’ve handled it. The fact that the judge and SW can walk away and think they have the best interest of your child in mind is just inhuman. Because their actions are really not human in the slightest.
I’m so happy to hear you have appealed. I got dealt really crap directions and orders which some are similar to yours. Untenable routes and my rights as a dad. Which includes my right of speech in the court room. I got done my Cafcass whereas you have a SW.
I appealed a final hearing against Cafcass predominantly but also the Judges decisions. I was about to give up. Ash picked up on one of my posts and after a few days to find some strength I sent the appeal documents in and I was away…
Don’t give up mate. You’re a good dad and you’ve been completely done by a system. You need to be infront of a new judge - it’s a simple as that. It’s not you
Hey, I’ve just read your story. This probably doesn’t do much for you but I’m really sorry you’ve had it so tough. Speaking with Ash about your situation and it really bugged me to hear what you’ve been dealt. It’s cruel on yourself and your poor daughter who needs you.
I’m absolutely shocked how they’ve handled it. The fact that the judge and SW can walk away and think they have the best interest of your child in mind is just inhuman. Because their actions are really not human in the slightest.
I’m so happy to hear you have appealed. I got dealt really crap directions and orders which some are similar to yours. Untenable routes and my rights as a dad. Which includes my right of speech in the court room. I got done my Cafcass whereas you have a SW.
I appealed a final hearing against Cafcass predominantly but also the Judges decisions. I was about to give up. Ash picked up on one of my posts and after a few days to find some strength I sent the appeal documents in and I was away…
Don’t give up mate. You’re a good dad and you’ve been completely done by a system. You need to be infront of a new judge - it’s a simple as that. It’s not you
Hi Jafranks.
Thank you for your kind words it’s really appreciated.
Your not wrong about being dealt a rough hand the sw and judge were literally appalling and as a litigant in person I had no chance. Judge decided months ago about this case I deep down knew that from how he was at first hearing.
But ash mentioned your story and I’ll be honest if it hadn’t of been for that I’d have given up.
The appeal has gone in today so I have everything crossed if only to have a chance to put my side across and for someone to actually listen. A 5 year old doesn’t go from a happy little girl loving being with her dad and having overnights to how hateful and hostile she is now in such a short space of time without outside influence any normal person knows that.
Sw and judge clearly only care about mothers and fathers are dispensable it’s so wrong.
But reading my appeal I think it’s very strong.
No I asked for a contact centre and that was refused but sw. Sw did not want anyone else ever speaking with my little girl I think that speaks volumes
That is horrendous. It really is.
No child of that age can ever express, think and verbalise such things. My boy is three shortly and to think of your situation from someone just a little older is just completely unthinkable.
Yet it’s the judge and social worker who have contributed to this, massively. It is shocking.
Get yourself going again. Be kind on yourself for sure because this isn’t you - I’m no hippy or spiritual guy but you don’t have anything to beat yourself up about. Use this energy and grief to stand up to court (in the right way).
A contact centre (albeit you’re going backwards in that sense of what you’ve had) is the least they should give you. I spent too long doing this, but. They are recognised contributors in their crappy system. They don’t do anything except observe and write reports of your time together. That’s all they do. It is again shocking that this is not being used in your situation.
as I said you need a new judge. Yours was not capable of doing his job correctly. You’ll get a new judge at your appeal hearing
No child of that age can ever express, think and verbalise such things. My boy is three shortly and to think of your situation from someone just a little older is just completely unthinkable.
Yet it’s the judge and social worker who have contributed to this, massively. It is shocking.
Get yourself going again. Be kind on yourself for sure because this isn’t you - I’m no hippy or spiritual guy but you don’t have anything to beat yourself up about. Use this energy and grief to stand up to court (in the right way).
A contact centre (albeit you’re going backwards in that sense of what you’ve had) is the least they should give you. I spent too long doing this, but. They are recognised contributors in their crappy system. They don’t do anything except observe and write reports of your time together. That’s all they do. It is again shocking that this is not being used in your situation.
as I said you need a new judge. Yours was not capable of doing his job correctly. You’ll get a new judge at your appeal hearing
It is it’s the worst situation I’ve ever been put in and to be treated with such contempt by the sw and the judge at 2 hearings nearly broke me.
It was clear that neither really viewed me as a father and believed that removing me from her life was the better option than having anyone else look into the situation.
I’ll quote the order I received today.
So I mean the above speaks for itself. I’ve gone from a full spends time with order to the above within 6 months.
I don’t know how much ash has explained to you about my case I did say he was welcome to discuss anything but ex has said some outrageous things yet every time it was insoles and dismissed by sw and court.
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Those paragraphs make me feel how I felt in my proceedings. Sick and broken. I applied to court and looked to the court for fairness, resolution and progression - because that’s what I believed a court will do - it’s not for us. Now I know better. I gave up mate, I asked the judge to stop the proceedings as I was hurt. I then got that used against me as if I didn’t want my boy anymore. I’m not saying that is option. I was done and out of it for the reasons you’ve said last week, it’s better for your daughter to not continue it too.
I try now and not be a total hater of court, Cafcass, the mother of my child (who now I am polite with for the sake of my boy and our time together). But don’t really want to be that hate guy personally and what I’ve had to go through for nearly three years… But in your situation as with mine. If you keep going you will (however long it takes and how much you put in) you will benefit and you know that you’ve done everything for your daughter to keep seeing you. Time will pass and you will be with your daughter correctly and rightfully.
Don’t give up. Keep pushing. You might be totally numb but let’s see what your appeal does.
I’ll leave this here for now. It’s easy for me to message about this and that because of what I have now. I have my boy. But believe me I didn’t have him for a long time. I did the appeal and I won. With help from here. As I said in another post elsewhere I wouldn’t have what I have now if it wasn’t for this forum.
If you want to message me for anything I’m here. I look everyday or every few.
I try now and not be a total hater of court, Cafcass, the mother of my child (who now I am polite with for the sake of my boy and our time together). But don’t really want to be that hate guy personally and what I’ve had to go through for nearly three years… But in your situation as with mine. If you keep going you will (however long it takes and how much you put in) you will benefit and you know that you’ve done everything for your daughter to keep seeing you. Time will pass and you will be with your daughter correctly and rightfully.
Don’t give up. Keep pushing. You might be totally numb but let’s see what your appeal does.
I’ll leave this here for now. It’s easy for me to message about this and that because of what I have now. I have my boy. But believe me I didn’t have him for a long time. I did the appeal and I won. With help from here. As I said in another post elsewhere I wouldn’t have what I have now if it wasn’t for this forum.
If you want to message me for anything I’m here. I look everyday or every few.
It is just a horrendous court order that totally tramples on your right to family life. The judge failed on all levels. An appeal surely must be granted. Im not sure if you know of BAILII it has hundreds of family court cases including appeals. Im sure there must be some cases that mirror yours and can be used as legal precedent.
I have felt broken for a long time but my little girl always keeps me going no matter how badly I’m treated by the system. I know deep down she’s pleasing mum and being manipulated to see her partner as dad now it’s obvious but they will never kill my resolve. I have moments like Tuesday that I nearly buckle but very quickly I bounce back because I know that’s what my daughter needs.
it may be years before I see her again but for those years I’ll be here fighting for her.
I fully agree this forum has been life saving for me and without it I’d have either given up or not be here anymore I’m not ashamed to admit that but I know one day I will be on here with positive news and I will expose them all no matter how long it takes.
Thank you for offering to be there for advice I will probably take you up on that offer over the coming weeks.
I’m so happy you got the outcome you deserved and it gives me hope that I may get the same further down the line.
Makes you sick to your stomach doesn’t it that a loving father can be discarded with such ease.
The appeal is in so it’s the next step I believe I have a very strong case to get a new judge but only time will tell. For one thing I won’t go away without on hell of a fight.
I didn’t know about that so I’ll look into that Mva
thank you for letting me know about it
I deleted the order wording but we get the gist.This is the positive post another forum user was looking for the other day
I'll just add to that view - that no you don't have to be a hater, but sometimes getting angry about the injustice can help - I don't mean go round being angry with court people, that wouldn't be good - I mean feel angry instead of powerless and channel that anger into trying the next thing and not giving up. I think many of us have been at a point where we nearly gave up. But - and this is to jafranks and DB - you didn't give up. You licked your wounds after the battle and got up to fight another day. I've been there too. When something feels wrong, it is wrong, and we have to tell people it's wrong to get heard.
What is the most galling is that we have to keep spending money and paying fees because of inadequate court processes and professionals - to get things put right.
What is the most galling is that we have to keep spending money and paying fees because of inadequate court processes and professionals - to get things put right.
Ohhh the anger I have is something else but I won’t ever show them it. I know that’s what they want you to do and I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction. I’m a respectful guy and no matter how badly they treat me I won’t react badly.
But as you say ash I’m going to use this anger to keep fighting to expose all of them which I know in my heart I will one day no matter how long that takes.
That certainly is annoying I think it’s nearly a £1000 just for the applications I’ve put in and one of them wasn’t even looked at properly despite me having to pay over £200 for it it’s shocking.
If only women when held accountable were made to pay back all the fees us fathers have had to pay we know this will never happen but it should.