Primary school application information

[steb81]

Hi

Not posted much but this forum really has been a great source of information and help in getting my head round this very unneccescary situation we all find ourselves in.

So primary school placements were announced yesterday, she did text me the school he has been allocated, however i had asked her before to send a copy or photo of the letter received when she found out, of course that was ignored. I'd also asked a few months ago for her to send me a copy of the filled in application, again ignored. My reason for asking was that I dont trust her, I wasnt asked for any involvement with school choices just sent the final list (I didnt have a problem with choices, bar one which would have been difficult for both of us to get to, but that was near bottom of the list), and I'm concerned she wants to register our son under her surname as a 'known as' name. His birth certificate has my name and I have parental responsibility. He does regularly say his name is xxxx followed by her surname, so clearly she has been telling him this, hes far too young to really understand so I dont confuse him by telling him otherwise. Am I entitled to see these documents at this stage to nip it in the bud or am I gonna have to wait til school starts and deal with it then?

Brief background - Separated 2 years, we live within a mile of each other. Currently see son twice a week, one overnight per fortnight, been trying to progress this for nearly a year, she now wants to restrict to every other weekend only, but still just one night and reduce the brief weekday time even more. I'm seeking shared care on the basis of being marginalised in any decisions about our son and I'm obviously looking for far more sensible arrangements. Problem I've got is she has a very controlling mother who since the day he was born has viewed herself as the other parent, and has been dicating the terms behind the scenes since separation, so after receiving a solicitors letter trying to restrict time further, I've been left no choice but to go court.

Currently awaiting date for FHDRA, cafcass call done, position statements done for review hearing, and the predictable allegations have arrived!

I think she's trying to keep my involvement in his schooling to an absolute minimum

 

[nothernsoul]

Hello mate

Sorry to hear what you're going through.

I was in a similar position regarding the school applications.

When we were together I did all the applications for our children.

We broke up just after I had submitted my youngest child's place.

I received an email from admissions stating that a new application had been made and it trumped mine due to it coming from the resident parent.

There was nothing I could do and the admissions would tell me nothing other than the date the application was made.

As far as the name goes I also had the exact same issue. At my most recent hearing the court ruled that my children should be known by the name on their birth certificate in all formal and informal settings which was a result for me.

In short, probably not a lot you can do in the short term from my own experience

 

[steb81]

Thanks for the reply, good to know that can be put into the order, i'll definitely be pushing for that. Just have to add it to the growing list of things she's ignored and doesnt think is relevant for the father to be concerned with, and apparently I'm the one that wont co-parent! I know hes registered with the GP under her surname, assume will be the same with the dentist but she refused to tell me which one. Haven't got onto tackling that yet.

Was thinking of just asking her straight what she's playing at with the surname issue but probably best leave it for now, shes already accused me of sending bullying text messages, amongst other things. I've printed out all of our communications since separation, gone through it and cant find anything I need to worry about, its almost all amicable just the walls go up anytime I dare to mention any progression with the arrangements.

Is it straightforward to get it into the order that the child should be known by the name on their birth certificate? What possible reasons can there be for that to be refused?

The solicitor Ive seen a couple of times said that her ignoring these types of things can work in my favour for potentially getting shared care although I'm aware there is no guarantee.

Just got to deal with the allegations first, will start another thread on that when I get a min.

 

[nothernsoul]

Don't even bother messaging her about it.

She won't be honest with you. She will know it's something that is niggling you and it'll just add fuel to that fire.

Have you got any evidence of her using her name over the one on her birth certificate?

My barrister put it to the magistrates.

They sided with us.

I'd be amazed if you had a different outcome. It's his name after all.

Make a note to speak to your barrister about it but I'd be tempted to get it added. It'll be a way of letting your ex know that you're taking everyhing in and going about to in a calm and methodical way. This will be a long term gain over a short term win by engaging with her.

Play it smart and slow.

 

[steb81]

Yeah i'll refrain from asking her, would only get ignored anyway. I know he's definitely registered with the health service with her last name, been like that since he was born before we registered the birth and never got changed, I know which surgery so will make contact with them regarding access to medical records, should then have something on paper showing shes using a name not on the birth certificate. I did message her about 6 months ago asking about it, no response, so assume nothings changed.

Is this only dealt with at the final hearing? I'm very early stages in this, havent even had the FHDRA date yet, C100 submitted 4 months ago, system seems painfully slow in this part of the country.

Got more pressing things to deal with first like getting the allegations dismissed, the surname issue only came back into my mind yesterday with the school placements.

Thanks for the advice northernsoul

 

[nothernsoul]

Doesn't have to be a final hearing.

I've had a few false starts for my final hearing but at every appearance I've built more time and things like names into the interim orders.