Potentially taking my son abroad and not coming back

[Maloney]

Hi Ash

Massive thanks for the detailed reply.

We have been to mediation already and I can get a MIAM certificate.

I’ll get this sorted Friday.

Great shout about keeping my cards close to my chest, today was a stupid mistake telling her before hand. She might try another DV allegation tomorrow now.

Hopefully I can get to court before.

I’ll fill out the fine tomorrow and ping it across. Really appreciate your help, thanks again.

I’ve just read another post of yours Ash and it has got me really worried.

I’m thinking it might be best to go down to court tomorrow morning, fill out the form while I’m there, work from there if I can and see someone. She will probably go for the non molestation order, it’s the obvious next step for her.

 

[Ash]

Yes I think getting it an asap is a good idea and yes she could go for a non molestation order. So helps if you get in first. Are you still living in the same house by the way?

 

[Maloney]

Yes I think getting it an asap is a good idea and yes she could go for a non molestation order. So helps if you get in first. Are you still living in the same house by the way?

Yep, still living in the same house. I do keep a voice recorder on me at all times, which she is aware of and has been for months.

The police told me to use the voice recorder to counter charge her, so they didn’t see an issue with it, but this was when she walked me out of the station.

 

[Ash]

Are you living in separate areas in the same house? That should help protect you. Keep diary notes of everything that happens or is said as well (of significance). Before doing that - make sure you change all your passwords - especially email and phone. One way to keep diary notes is send an email to yourself with it in. Try and keep them brief and factual - as you may want someone to read them at some point or use them as evidence.

You can make a folder in your email and file the diary notes in there so they're all together and they will be date and time stamped because it's email, so more authentic as evidence. You'll end up with two copies - one in your inbox and one in the sent folder. Just file the one from the inbox and you can just leave the other copy in the sent folder. But that's why it's important to make sure ex can't access your email. You could even open a new email account just for the diary notes.

If you access email from an app on your phone (eg the mail app on an iphone) that's risky as someone could easily read them if your phone is unlocked. So better to sign in online and hide or delete the mail app.

Eg

"Ex name asked me to move out today but wouldn't discuss child arrangements. Worried she might make allegations again to get me out of the house. I said I want us to formalise child arrangements before separating".

That kind of brief diary note - don't go ranting on in it or get emotional or let off steam or it'll be no good as evidence in future. But be honest but brief. You can rant on here.

 

[Maloney]

Yep, still living in the same house. I do keep a voice recorder on me at all times, which she is aware of and has been for months.

The police told me to use the voice recorder to counter charge her, so they didn’t see an issue with it, but this was when she walked me out of the station.

Are you living in separate areas in the same house? That should help protect you. Keep diary notes of everything that happens or is said as well (of significance). Before doing that - make sure you change all your passwords - especially email and phone. One way to keep diary notes is send an email to yourself with it in. Try and keep them brief and factual - as you may want someone to read them at some point or use them as evidence.

You can make a folder in your email and file the diary notes in there so they're all together and they will be date and time stamped because it's email, so more authentic as evidence. You'll end up with two copies - one in your inbox and one in the sent folder. Just file the one from the inbox and you can just leave the other copy in the sent folder. But that's why it's important to make sure ex can't access your email. You could even open a new email account just for the diary notes.

If you access email from an app on your phone (eg the mail app on an iphone) that's risky as someone could easily read them if your phone is unlocked. So better to sign in online and hide or delete the mail app.

Eg

"Ex name asked me to move out today but wouldn't discuss child arrangements. Worried she might make allegations again to get me out of the house. I said I want us to formalise child arrangements before separating".

That kind of brief diary note - don't go ranting on in it or get emotional or let off steam or it'll be no good as evidence in future. But be honest but

brief. You can rant on here.

Yep, separate rooms, I had to put a lock on my room to stop her following me in, and trying to provoke me while secretly filming.

That’s brilliant advice.

I do keep notes in the Apple journal app, but that can be editable, so it’s probably not as good as emailing myself.

I keep notes on journal, the voice recorder on me at all times, and always screen shot texts and film in the journal app with a heading of what she tried to say or do.

I’ll be at the court first thing tomorrow, it’s surreal I’m having to do all of this.

Thanks again, I can’t express how grateful I am

 

[BrassTacks]

Just to hear in mind what it means to abduct a child or remove them from and then retain them to another country ….
They’d have to leave all their assets (property) and friends behind, essentially go with a couple of suitcases, leave work, become an “international fugitive”, AND implicate one’s family / friends in the same. The police will likely get involved in France and social services equivalent, etc etc.

If you think her ties are so tenuous, and she’ll do it, then DEFINITELY sounds like it’s worth doing.

But setting the rest of the process for child arrangement orders in motion is key…. asap.

Good luck with that!

 

[Maloney]

Just to hear in mind what it means to abduct a child or remove them from and then retain them to another country ….
They’d have to leave all their assets (property) and friends behind, essentially go with a couple of suitcases, leave work, become an “international fugitive”, AND implicate one’s family / friends in the same. The police will likely get involved in France and social services equivalent, etc etc.

If you think her ties are so tenuous, and she’ll do it, then DEFINITELY sounds like it’s worth doing.

But setting the rest of the process for child arrangement orders in motion is key…. asap.

Good luck with that!

Thanks BT, it’s definitely a massive step to take, I’d say there is a 30/40% chance she would do it.

She wants to make sure we don’t pick a school where we are, so it’s more likely she can move, plus she is running out of options, as I refuse to move out.

The other options are more claims of DV, and a non mol order which could be more likely.

But the risk of her going and not seeing my son for 3 years is something I don’t even want to think about.

 

[Scotay]

I went to the court with my paper application and got a ex parte hearing the very same day as i stated there was an imminent risk of abduction.

This was granted and i went straight to the police who put an alert on every border exit for the childs name and passport, cops actually tracked my ex in-laws with my daughter heading down the M6 obviously heading to the Ferry to France.