No happy endings

[Ash]

The confusing thing about lawyers I think is that we hear stories about how successful mothers are in FC and think, that the truth and a good legal representation are enough for a fair outcome but this just isn't the case; FCs are asymmetrical clearly.

I have had contact turned on and off so often in 6 months, I do sympathise with your sentiment of resentment. for me, its not the kids themselves but the whole cycle of anxiety before handovers, anxiety that they will have forgotten me, anxiety that they don't have fun with me then the dreaded hand back and subsequent wait for more allegations following. it makes it really hard to just, DAD; not least for constantly holding back tears throughout and trying to stay strong throughout hell.

Thanks to posts like yours, I am beginning to reconsider my lawyer situation; I have already started to be more proactive with her, if it wasn't for me insisting, she was not going to contest my CC letter in preparation for the non attended hearing I have this coming week.

Thanks again

I think personally, solicitors are 99.9% intrinsically mother biased, so they won't give you advice that will help. I think it's better not to use a solicitor mostly. You can just send a brief email to ex's solicitor yourself. Very brief and being careful what you say. For hearings you can use a direct access barrister. If it's the right one, they will fight your corner.

Also, as Peanut says, solicitors have an interest in things waffling out for a long time because it makes them more and more money. Barristers charge a fixed fee for the hearing time and you get what you pay for (providing it's the right barrister).

 

[TwinDad]

I was impressed with my Barrister for the return hearing for the Non Mol, he was worth every penny, completely smashed her sudden introduction of breaches and made extremely positive changes in the undertakings restrictions. My lawyer on the other hand, exactly what you say, it feels like if I were the opposite sex, she would be giving grey area strategies but she is just procedural unless pushed.

Thanks again BTW Ash, I take it you have a lot of experience. from the point I am at in my process, allegations, C100's filed (& my urgent hearing which got ignored, lovely waste of £200 + lawyer fees) and CC letter of recommendation of supervised centre contact, can you briefly describe what I would need a solicitor for going forward? as in, other than letters to the ex, what else would she be looking to charge me for?

I am more than happy to correspond with the Ex's top 100 uk law firm on legal aid but I don't want to disadvantage myself now

 

[Oneofmany]

I can relate to the OP. The is process however it goes leaves very deep emotional scars. Most of which I don't think will ever heal. It strips us back to a mear shell of what we used to be and just keeps on kicking. Even when we do make progress the ongoing anxiety caused by any contact with a ex who's done their very best to break you is just horrible, but we push though it for our children, no matter what this personal cost is. I sometimes think I just cant it anymore

 

[Ash]

I was impressed with my Barrister for the return hearing for the Non Mol, he was worth every penny, completely smashed her sudden introduction of breaches and made extremely positive changes in the undertakings restrictions. My lawyer on the other hand, exactly what you say, it feels like if I were the opposite sex, she would be giving grey area strategies but she is just procedural unless pushed.

Thanks again BTW Ash, I take it you have a lot of experience. from the point I am at in my process, allegations, C100's filed (& my urgent hearing which got ignored, lovely waste of £200 + lawyer fees) and CC letter of recommendation of supervised centre contact, can you briefly describe what I would need a solicitor for going forward? as in, other than letters to the ex, what else would she be looking to charge me for?

I am more than happy to correspond with the Ex's top 100 uk law firm on legal aid but I don't want to disadvantage myself now

The solicitors are just sending letters back and forth which make no difference in court and run up bills for you. It can also be a bit of a strategic move to not have a solicitor. The other side then think you're not represented and get an unpleasant shock at the hearing, when they find you have a good barrister instead (who will trump her legal aid lawyers).

What letters do ex's solicitors need to send? Ok at the moment I assume it's negotiating over arrangements - is that right? A lot of it will just be arguing back and forth and no agreement - that probably won't get achieved until a hearing.

Do you have a hearing date?

I am sure there are some good solicitors but in my opinion, they are rare.