Guest viewing is limited

No contact

J

Jayy_

New member
Member
Hi,

I have initiated mediation with my child’s mother however the mediator has not been able to get in contact and seems she has changed her number.

She threatened to go no contact if I had no initiated for a court order by end of October and seems to have followed through.

My son’s birthday is in November so I emailed her to ask for her number and let her know mediator is trying to get in contact. I also requested for a call on my sons birthday next week so I can speak to him. However of course no response

I am sure this will end in court which is frustrating but fine

However, not being able to speak to my son on his birthday will be the most frustrating.

I have considered a couple of options and would like to know if they are viable or I’m open to any other options here

1. Contact his school, introduce myself, explain the situation and maybe they can facilitate a call whilst he’s in school? (note: mum requested for them to remove me off his new school so they do not really know me yet)

2. Contact her partner if he hasn’t changed his number either

3. Contact social services to check on his welfare and also pass the happy birthday message on?

I really do not want to miss his birthday whilst all this is going on so any help is appreciated
 
Hi. If she's gone no contact then you need to ask the mediator to sign you off and get the C100 in asap as it will take quite a long time to get an order.

It sounds like she's not going to let you see your son on his birthday so I would send him a gift so he knows you're thinking about him - you don't know what he's been told. I don't think the school or social services will be able to help and it might cause more drama with the court process if you try to turn up at school or something.

Is there any chance she could have moved?
 
I think it's worth planning a meeting with the school anyway to introduce yourself and let them know what your son is going through. Then when you go to court and get an order you can inform them of this.
 
Ash said:
Hi. If she's gone no contact then you need to ask the mediator to sign you off and get the C100 in asap as it will take quite a long time to get an order.

It sounds like she's not going to let you see your son on his birthday so I would send him a gift so he knows you're thinking about him - you don't know what he's been told. I don't think the school or social services will be able to help and it might cause more drama with the court process if you try to turn up at school or something.

Is there any chance she could have moved?
Click to expand...
Hey I doubt she’s moved as they recently just moved an hour away 4 months ago which is how the the whole ordeal started. I believe she is trying to remove me as she has moved in with her new partner

I’m sure I won’t be able to see him and for sure would not attend his school as id like to keep the behind the scenes away from him. However I was hoping for a call at least. The gift is a good idea but I’m unsure if he will actually receive it sadly due to her behaviour.

I have managed to get a number and passed to the mediators. Unsure if I should try my luck and also message the number to request for a call next week to my son
 
Peanut 21 said:
I think it's worth planning a meeting with the school anyway to introduce yourself and let them know what your son is going through. Then when you go to court and get an order you can inform them of this.
Click to expand...
Sure, will I need to take any sort of docs with me?

I don’t have his birth certificate unfortunately but he does have my last name so I’m thinking maybe passport for identification? or if they could check with his previous school that I was present at
 
Jayy_ said:
Sure, will I need to take any sort of docs with me?

I don’t have his birth certificate unfortunately but he does have my last name so I’m thinking maybe passport for identification? or if they could check with his previous school that I was present at
Click to expand...
You can apply for a copy of his birth cert.
 
Ash said:
Hi. If she's gone no contact then you need to ask the mediator to sign you off and get the C100 in asap as it will take quite a long time to get an order.

It sounds like she's not going to let you see your son on his birthday so I would send him a gift so he knows you're thinking about him - you don't know what he's been told. I don't think the school or social services will be able to help and it might cause more drama with the court process if you try to turn up at school or something.

Is there any chance she could have moved?
Click to expand...
Hi @Ash quick one. What are your thoughts on the messaging when sending a gift? I was going to write along the lines of happy birthday son daddy loves you and will see you soon. Or would it better to replace see you soon with always thinking of you.

If anyone has thoughts or experience on this would appreciate it too
 
I was on a webinar for writing to your alienated (not suggesting your child alienated currently) by Karen Woodall a few months ago.
She suggested saying positive things like 'see you soon' as it gives the Child hope they'll see you.
I'll find the thread I did with notes from the seminar.
 
6 months is a long time. My partner is in your shoes.
Obviously with the notes I've attached you adapt the message for the child's age.
 
Peanut 21 said:
6 months is a long time. My partner is in your shoes.
Obviously with the notes I've attached you adapt the message for the child's age.
Click to expand...
It’s maddening. Money, time and a gruesome process to see your own child. Hope your partner is able to get a positive result.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top