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My story
- Thread starter Nd123a
- Start date
Firstly, welcome to the forum. Secondly - you are certainly not alone, there are many on here in the same boat, the same allegations trawled out, it is almost as if they have some instruction manual which they all follow.
keep calm, first things first, preserve all your evidence, texts, emails, everything, write a timeline down starting today and working backwards for as far as you can, cross referencing with evidence where you can.
From here - do NOT tell your ex what your plans are, keep conversation, texts to the absolute minimum, if any.
So next steps depends on what you want ( for the children) and your situation, are you on bail ? do you have PR for your children? are you going to take your case to family court ?
keep calm, first things first, preserve all your evidence, texts, emails, everything, write a timeline down starting today and working backwards for as far as you can, cross referencing with evidence where you can.
From here - do NOT tell your ex what your plans are, keep conversation, texts to the absolute minimum, if any.
So next steps depends on what you want ( for the children) and your situation, are you on bail ? do you have PR for your children? are you going to take your case to family court ?
Yes was arrested in June so i am on bail for three months the police have kept my phone too. This is so she can get legal aid. We was married so have pr . I wanna go the family court but she says the kids are scared of me and wanna know why daddy doesn’t love them there 8 and 10.
whilst you are on bail, there isn't anything you can do, other than request contact centre arrangements via police or social services. You must comply with you bail. You'll need to sit tight and wait, the police tend to get these cases closed quickly these days , where they can.Yes was arrested in June so i am on bail for three months the police have kept my phone too. This is so she can get legal aid. We was married so have pr . I wanna go the family court but she says the kids are scared of me and wanna know why daddy doesn’t love them there 8 and 10.
In the meantime, create your timeline and evidence, where you can. Also start prepping for what happens if your case is dropped. In which case you can certainly expect to be serve with a non mol hearing - standard tactic.
I know you feel you have been flushed down the toilet, we have all been there. So for now, be calm, be patient. Kids won't forget you, re-establishing your relationship will be a bit further down the line, but for now concentrate on keeping with bail conditions and spend some time reading through this forum, which is a very rich resource of information and support.
Like Newcastle says, many of us are in the same boat, myself included. I was arrested earlier in the year for the same things, minus rape, police still have my phone too. I had heard that my case got NFA’d last week, just awaiting a letter from the police to confirm this. I’m now expecting a non mol too.Yes was arrested in June so i am on bail for three months the police have kept my phone too. This is so she can get legal aid. We was married so have pr . I wanna go the family court but she says the kids are scared of me and wanna know why daddy doesn’t love them there 8 and 10.
Newcastle has given you a lot of good advice regarding collecting evidence. I have collected a lot, but it is more difficult without my phone. If ex is alleging financial abuse, did you have a joint bank account? Can you prove that she did a number of the transactions e.g on trips out, clothes etc?
Don’t bother with a solicitor, I started off with one and it was a total waste of money. Ditched them and thanks to the chaps on here I’ve been managing myself so far.
One thing I’d say is get a c100 in asap, regardless of being on bail. I did, as your first hearing is likely a few months away and the police could have NFA’d your case by then. The longer you leave it, the ex will try and establish a new status quo with your kids. There is advice on here how to word the 5b section. Bottom line don’t badmouth the ex. Not that I want to volunteer him, but Ash is a legend and very helpful. He looked at my c100 and 5b wording for me.
Good luck, and stay strong. I feel your pain.
Does ex have a solicitor? If so, ask them to see if you can get some contact centre time or supervised in the community, say with a relative. Helps to show you are still trying to maintain contact with your kids. A contact centre can write reports, and if the sessions go well, may be handy in court. I’ve had a few so far and I’m hoping they will help me when I get to court.
Sorry to hear that cause what you must be going through is most difficult thing in the world. No she had her own account and me but she used my card all the time took credit cards out in my name so I have proof of all this. I think solicitors are a waste of time. I will look at c100 now didn’t even know what one wasLike Newcastle says, many of us are in the same boat, myself included. I was arrested earlier in the year for the same things, minus rape, police still have my phone too. I had heard that my case got NFA’d last week, just awaiting a letter from the police to confirm this. I’m now expecting a non mol too.
Newcastle has given you a lot of good advice regarding collecting evidence. I have collected a lot, but it is more difficult without my phone. If ex is alleging financial abuse, did you have a joint bank account? Can you prove that she did a number of the transactions e.g on trips out, clothes etc?
Don’t bother with a solicitor, I started off with one and it was a total waste of money. Ditched them and thanks to the chaps on here I’ve been managing myself so far.
One thing I’d say is get a c100 in asap, regardless of being on bail. I did, as your first hearing is likely a few months away and the police could have NFA’d your case by then. The longer you leave it, the ex will try and establish a new status quo with your kids. There is advice on here how to word the 5b section. Bottom line don’t badmouth the ex. Not that I want to volunteer him, but Ash is a legend and very helpful. He looked at my c100 and 5b wording for me.
Good luck, and stay strong. I feel your pain.
Thanks, it’s awful isn’t it, not seeing your kids. It’s like your soul has been ripped out.Sorry to hear that cause what you must be going through is most difficult thing in the world. No she had her own account and me but she used my card all the time took credit cards out in my name so I have proof of all this. I think solicitors are a waste of time. I will look at c100 now didn’t even know what one was
Ahh ok, that sounds positive if she had her own account, how can she alleged financial abuse when she had her own account? Keep backup copies of the proof you have, sounds like it will come in handy.
It’s not too bad to complete. There’s a guide on here how to do it.
Disgusting. I’d be tempted to carefully word a letter to ex’s solicitor saying that you do love you kids and want to reinstate contact asap. Could suggest supervised with a relative. Do you have any nearby that your kids love? Failing, that a contact centre.Yes saying the kids are scared of me and asking why doesn’t daddy love them
Hopefully the police will look through your messages and see it’s all nonsenseShe’s just made up everything she’s a compulsive liar . She makes up loads of stories but doesn’t have the dates. It’s just there’s thousands of texts messages and images on my phone the police said but were married I said
Not sure what you mean.How long does it take
Police case can take months and your bail may be extended. Mine was.
I think between lodging my family court application and the first hearing is about 3 months.
Yes, I had to get a cheap one as an interim measure. Im hoping once I get my NFA letter I can then get it back shortly after.Did they take your phone
You too buddy, get that c100 in asap and you will get some great advice from this forumGood luck mate