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ICFA - Court Appointed

DadLad

DadLad

Experienced member
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As some of you are aware I recently had a favourable outcome in court where the judge ordered that there is no bar to contact.

Cafcass made the recommendation for the ICFA program which at first I didn't agree on. I explained that there has already been a massive delay, and the ICFA has a 3 months waiting time. I explained that I could get a contact centre setup within a week. The CFA explained to me that as I have not seen our child for such a long time this could have an irreversible and damaging impact on our child.

Even though the extra wait would be agonising, I agreed that the reintroduction work would be beneficial for our child. The CFA explained that a storyboard would be made and there would be weeks of development work before contact begins.

Both parents have had 1 video call, and our child will have 1 visit from ICFA then our child will be left with me for 2 sessions. Then it's in the mother's hands to agree to contact to continue until a final order is made.

This to me sounds like a setup and this could cause massive distress for our child. Knowing how malicious the ex is she will not agree to contact after those 2 ICFA sessions.

Imagine that from a child's perspective and the emotional damage it could cause our child. Seeing me twice, then possibly not for 3/4 months until a final order is made then all this so called "reintroduction" work has been for nothing.

My main concern is that the possible distress from the shoddy ICFA work will be manipulated and used as leverage for the final order.
 
I'm not a fan of all this reintroduction BS.
It's your child!
Would it be like this if a child was adopted or fostered? I doubt it. But with dad's it's as if you're this random stranger who's going to harm the child.
It's not right that they dictate how a dad gets to see his own flesh and blood.
 
Peanut 21 said:
I'm not a fan of all this reintroduction BS.
It's your child!
Would it be like this if a child was adopted or fostered? I doubt it. But with dad's it's as if you're this random stranger who's going to harm the child.
It's not right that they dictate how a dad gets to see his own flesh and blood.
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I said to the ICFA facilitator, so there is only 1 visit with yourselves then our child is left with me and the mother comes back later. What if our child cries and becomes distressed and her mother isn't around?

ICFA: You will just have to deal with it 😳

Our child is only a toddler and doesn't know me.

I don't know how Im going to react, I could fall to my knees crying because it's been so long. This is so badly rushed and unorganised.
 
DadLad said:
ICFA: You will just have to deal with it 😳

Our child is only a toddler and doesn't know me.

I don't know how Im going to react, I could fall to my knees crying because it's been so long. This is so badly rushed and unorganised.
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I think that it will reflect well if you could have some control of your emotions and be seen to be supportive of the boy. It will be emotional but this is your time. Assume that everything is still being fed back to CAFCASS.

Thrilled for you mate.
 
Ash said:
Don't panic, it'll be fine. If they're leaving you alone with her though, say you want more sessions booked in because ex won't agree to them.
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There are 2 sessions with a ICFA facilitator observing. I can go wherever, ie a play centre etc. Bare in mind I am a complete stranger as our child won't have a memory of me due to the length of time it has been.

There idea of reintroduction is ICFA visiting our child once and showing pictures of me. The following week contact begins.

Im happy and excited that contact is starting but I'm also thinking logically that this could massively go wrong and my ex will say that our child was emotionally distressed after the contact sessions. This will then give her leverage at the final hearing.

The ICFA intervention has been rushed, where is the storyboard that builds and prepares a visual image of me before the first visit.
 
DadLad said:
Have you had your schedule and first contact session yet?
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After the first interview with the three of us it was deemed low level involvement needed.
.
I have maintained good connection with my son throughout and find an ICFA laughable but I'll do whatever is needed. My son is spending overnights happily in the run up to the final hearing. Schedule is check ins with the boy every ten days to make sure he's happy.
 
bujanin said:
After the first interview with the three of us it was deemed low level involvement needed.
.
I have maintained good connection with my son throughout and find an ICFA laughable but I'll do whatever is needed. My son is spending overnights happily in the run up to the final hearing. Schedule is check ins with the boy every ten days to make sure he's happy.
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My situation is slightly different, I've not seen my child since a baby so there is no memory of me. Both parents have had separate zoom interviews. The practitioner visits our child once then I start contact sessions. 2 of those are observed by the practitioner then it's in the mothers hands to continue contact (which she won't agree to) otherwise it's another agonising few months until the final order.

This could cause massive emotional harm to our child and to myself, from not seeing my child for such a long time, having 2 visits then the mother taking it away from me again.

I explained this to the practitioner (in a more subtle way) and she said that the mother needs to maintain contact after ICFA but it's ultimately down to her.
 
DadLad said:
My situation is slightly different, I've not seen my child since a baby so there is no memory of me. Both parents have had separate zoom interviews. The practitioner visits our child once then I start contact sessions. 2 of those are observed by the practitioner then it's in the mothers hands to continue contact (which she won't agree to) otherwise it's another agonising few months until the final order.

This could cause massive emotional harm to our child and to myself, from not seeing my child for such a long time, having 2 visits then the mother taking it away from me again.
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That sounds silly. Why do they cut you loose after two sessions and hand the controls to the mother. This programme although run by different people must be run to standard protocols surely.

My case is as I said considered to need low level involvement yet they check in with the boy.

Do you have access to the CAFCASS officer to express your dissatisfaction?
 
bujanin said:
That sounds silly. Why do they cut you loose after two sessions and hand the controls to the mother. This programme although run by different people must be run to standard protocols surely.

My case is as I said considered to need low level involvement yet they check in with the boy.

Do you have access to the CAFCASS officer to express your dissatisfaction?
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I am contemplating contacting Cafcass just because of my previous experiences with them. But in court they decorated ICFA as this magnificent magical helpful intervention. With a storyboard made, and regular work with our child over a number of weeks in preparation.

I raised it with the practitioner who said that this is a short process. There is no preparation, it's all completely rushed and then left to the mother to gain control.

She will very vindictively take it away from me again then I will need to wait until the final hearing in a few months time which will cause our child and me emotional distress.
 
DadLad said:
I am contemplating contacting Cafcass just because of my previous experiences with them. But in court they decorated ICFA as this magnificent magical helpful intervention. With a storyboard made, and regular work with our child over a number of weeks in preparation.

I raised it with the practitioner who said that this is a short process. There is no preparation, it's all completely rushed and then left to the mother to gain control.

She will very vindictively take it away from me again then I will need to wait until the final hearing in a few months time which will cause our child and me emotional distress.
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I think that you have a legitimate case for contacting CAFCASS. They've put you both on ICFA because they want to bring you back together but it's veering away from the prescription.
What other choice do you have and what downside can there be to writing to the case officer to express your dissatisfaction?
 
bujanin said:
I think that you have a legitimate case for contacting CAFCASS. They've put you both on ICFA because they want to bring you back together but it's veering away from the prescription.
What other choice do you have and what downside can there be to writing to the case officer to express your dissatisfaction?
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Yeah I think it would be good for my case if I have a paper trail to Cafcass expressing my concerns with ICFA.
 
What does your order actually say DadLad? Does it say - reintroduction with ICFA and then the Mother decides ongoing contact? I bet it doesn't. Does it just leave it as "reintroduction with ICFA?". I'll wait to hear what the order actually says before suggesting anything. But you might need to get ready to do a C2! Maybe what the ICFA means is - it's up to the Mother to decide when and how often - which of course is absolutely ridiculous.
 
Ash said:
What does your order actually say DadLad? Does it say - reintroduction with ICFA and then the Mother decides ongoing contact? I bet it doesn't. Does it just leave it as "reintroduction with ICFA?". I'll wait to hear what the order actually says before suggesting anything. But you might need to get ready to do a C2! Maybe what the ICFA means is - it's up to the Mother to decide when and how often - which of course is absolutely ridiculous.
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The current order (the ICFA section) only says reintroduction work with ICFA and a deadline for them to file a report.

This is not in the best interests of our child because she is obviously going to cut contact straight after the 2 ICFA sessions.

The order also says that there is no bar to contact.

There needs to be consistent and regular contact in order to build a bond, 2 visits then cut off again for months is damaging to our child. The ICFA will be a complete waste of time.
 
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Perhaps you could wheedle the ICFA into doing a few more sessions - say it's so important for your daughter after such a long time.

The order is basically leaving it to ICFA then and report back. Is there another hearing then? For them to report back to? How can they report back after only two sessions? I would start filling a C2 in! Or maybe it isn't a C2 if you've had a final hearing?

Could be grounds for an urgent specific issues order perhaps, if ex refuses you seeing daughter after 2 sessions.
 
Cafcass instruct the ICFA to be completed. It's carried out by what's still widely known as a contact centre. Cafcass set the parameters - duration and involvement levels of the contact centre.

It's unlikely that Cafcass have requested the mother's directions.

This is why I suggested that you contact the Cafcass representative because they are running the show and they are being told how the process is unfolding.

The point of the ICFA is to build/rebuild your relationship so cutting it short is pointless. At the end of the process Cafcass will submit an addendum to the S7.
 
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