How to submit evidence c100

[Ady347]

On 1st Feb I'm attending my 2nd c100 hearing. The court wanted me and ex to separately attend a SPIP course, I've done mine, she probably hasn't but i will ask on the day.

I haven't seen my boys in nearly 3 years after my ex wife obtained 2 non molestation orders based on complete lies. (Yes that really is true, I won't bore you with the details)

I was asked to send a letter every month to the boys to rebuild a relationship. I have done this for last 9 months.

My ex was supposed to send me monthly updates, I've recieved nothing. I am not applying for a breach as this will just delay things further but I will be telling the court on the day.

This hearing is a video call one, now in response to my latest C100 application my ex states I have been seen in her street numerous times and as I have no reason to be their she is still worried for her safety and installed cctv a few months ago.

I've been no where near her house, she actually lives about 20 miles away, I will be questioning why someone who stated over the last 3 years she was in fear for her safety why has she has only just now got cctv? And just after I make a application to see boys Is a coincidence.
But here is the best bit.

Today I paid a profesional photographer to go to her house, I know she is away visiting family 100 miles away, as she has done it every new year for last 10 years. So I said if their is no car on drive take photos.

I have 30 detailed photos and their is 100% no cctv internally pointing out or externally.. not even a ring door bell!!

This is all completly legal, its a public road and no access was made onto her private property.

I actually knew she wouldn't have cctv anyways.

Should I use it at the hearing? How should I go about it? Submitt? Mention it?

It has taken me 3 years to get physcale evidence and prove my ex wife is a compulsive liar.

I don't want to waste this opportunity
I cannot afford a solicitor and represent myself

 

[Peanut 21]

Don't use these pictures. If she has said she has cctv pictures of you, the burden of proof is on her.
The courts couldn't give a monkeys if she has lied. They all lie. It's all part of the game.
A the courts are bothered about is the kids welfare. Not yours or the ex!

 

[Peanut 21]

If you haven't been in her street you have nothing to worry about. It's not a criminal court hearing. You don't have to cover your tracks.

 

[Ady347]

She hasn't proof I was in her street. She says I was spotted in the street numerous times so on that basis she has now just installed cctv. Which was also 1 month after my c100 application.


But she is instigating she is in danger and I have proof she has lied in her statement.

 

[Ash]

You can't submit any evidence at this stage. You save it for final hearing when you prove she has lied and that undermines everything else she has said. Whether to use those photos or not at final hearing is another matter. There may be better evidence to use and what the court will want to see is you sounding child focused, while using evidence (perhaps emails, texts or other documents) to show various things. Cross examination of your ex on her own statement, is the way to prove she has lied (ie finding contradictions, inconsistencies or things you can prove are untrue). And you don't know what she's going to say in her statement yet.

For this upcoming hearing you can do a position statement, but most of that should be positive and child focused reasoning for seeing the children and just a small part denying allegations. I can give you a hand with it if you want.

Presumably you've had Cafcass involvement by now and the Cafcass letter - that gives an indication of how things are going. What does that say? If it recommended a SPIPP course, that is positive as it suggests no welfare issues.

Has a Section 7 been done.

Final point. Don't tell anyone you have these photos. Even though you didn't take them yourself, she could still accuse you of "snooping" and invading her privacy via someone else. So keep it under your hat for now.

However, in your position statement, you can say that you live 20 miles away and it is entirely untrue that you have been in her street - and you believe this allegation was made simply because you applied to court.

 

[Kyle]

You are right that there is nothing preventing anyone taking photos or recording video in a public place. But your ex has got her mindset all mixed up as this is the family court process not the criminal court. You don't have to disprove her criminal allegations (of stalking presumably) you have to demonstrate that your kids benefit from having their dad in their lives. Don't let yourself get sucked into playing this game.

I would not pay any attention to anything she alleges unless the court ask you to respond. In fact, do everything you can to divert attention from false and deliberately malicious allegations in your position statement and counter them with positive details about you, your life, the future you're seeking, and why your boys benefit from you. Peanut's right. She needs to back-up her allegations with evidence if the court even take it seriously. You don't need to disprove something that she hasn't even backed up herself.

Keeping your position focused entirely on the boys and the life you want with them is what the family court are interested in. The more she conjures up events that didn't happen to prevent that, the quicker her character may diminish.

 

[Ady347]

Thanks for replies!

Yes the SPIP was a recommendation only. I did mine, I know she wouldn't of done it.

Cafcass have been involved. At the last hearing CAFCASS told the court I should address my behaviours?? They interviewed boys who said 10 months ago we want to see dad.
Problem is their is no evidence of these "behaviours" I think they are referring to her domestic abuse allegations.
All the court told me to do was send letters monthly and advised spip nothing else.
In my latest application, ex wife was interviewed on phone by cafcass where she said I was in her street numerous times and she worried boys would see me and she just installed cctv because I have no reason to be their. She also stated she has the same concerns about my abuse today.

Cafcass have said this time round that I should not see the children until I've addressed these Behaviours and that the court made a mistake by not making me do anything in last hearing.

Remember, their is no evidence of these behaviours it was all allegations.

I was also seeing the children every weekend for 6 months when we seperated, unsupervised. When they met my new partner it went downhill quickly as my ex went mental and said it was too soon (I'd been with my partner 5 months) we are still together today 3 years later.

Within 4 weeks of them meeting my partner she severed all contact, for 4 weeks my texts and calls to see them went unanswered. I went to her work to try and speak to her.. then I had police at my door for an allegation of harassment and that's how it all started.

 

[Ady347]

And should I mention she has breached (section 13) of the order every month? By not sending me any updates or anything

 

[Kyle]

It’s a familiar territory for many men. (It’s why we’re all here too). As soon as a new partner arrives on the scene the shutters come down.

Allegations of domestic abuse and drug and alcohol abuse are bandied around and you suddenly find yourself tangled up in this family court mess.

It’s worth mentioning in your statement that you have reasons to believe this conflict and dispute is possibly born out your ex having issues with you having a new partner. And it’s certainly worth using the 6 month period you cared for the boys as a single father without issue as an example of how things really are, and will continue to be moving forward.

CAFCASS, as an example, usually recommends to the court that the father attends the Domestic Abuse Perpetrator Program (DAPP) if these allegations are taken seriously, although this program is currently in disarray while a new course provider is found. Substance abuse allegations must typically be assessed via hair strand testing.

Hopefully your next hearing sheds some light on what direction the court wants to go to help them make a decision. But building your case completely around being the best dad is preferable to playing he said she said with the ex.

But if there is an interim order directing that she should facilitate communication via letter etc and she hasn’t complied that needs to be highlighted.

 

[Ash]

Ok it sounds like at the last hearing, the court ignored the allegations and ordered SPIPP courses. But since your ex spoke to Cafcass, they believe her and are on your ex's side. What exactly are these "behaviours" they are referring to?

Yes your position statement should be all about the positives and not sound to defensive. You can dismiss the allegations in one sentence and say you have evidence they are untrue. And yes remind the court that you were seeing the children every week-end without issue, until you met your new partner, and you feel that Mrs Ex cannot accept you having a new partner so has fabricated these allegations, which are categorically denied.

And that's it.

Move onto all the things you enjoyed doing with your kids at the week-ends. Your stable 3 year relationship and how in the brief time the children did meet your partner, everything was fine.

Say that you wish the matter to go to a final hearing with evidence, and that you ask for interim supervised time with the Children.

However, without seeing what the Cafcass report says, on paper, can't suggest any more than that. (And don't post it on here but if you want advice on that you could PM me with bits from it, redacted).

 

[Peanut 21]

Yep, classic new partner scenario. I'm the partner of a dad. He's been in your boat for 4 years since his ex found out about me.
As others have said, main focus the boys. Let her make allegations. They'll soon unravel with no proof. Cafcass will probably recommend you do various courses. Do them. The ex will throw more hoops. Do them. The more hoops you jump through the more she'll throw until there's nothing left to make you do.
All tedious. All predictable

 

[Ady347]

Abusive behaviours.. no criminal record or anything.. I desperately tried for a month to see boys, went to her house and work to try and talk calmly, was ignored. Next thing I'm being arrested on suspicion of harassment and claiming i was abusive, never charged. No history of drug or alcohol problems, no record with police or local authority, no previous domestic abuse in our 10 year marriage

 

[Ady347]

These court hearings take so long, I can't face going through this again and again, and the wait in the meantime. It will be nearly 4 years since I seen them. My youngest was 3 he is nearly 7!

I'm losing the will over this tbh I feel ive missed out on too much now.

Ive done everything they asked 9 months ago. The thought of further delays whilst they want me to attend some type of anger management course.. I'm tea total it would be as usefull as attending an AA meeting.

 

[Ash]

Four years! That is a ridiculous length of time. Don't give up. It won't be all these hearings necessarily. You can nip this in the bud by being proactive. There are no welfare issues. It should go to a final hearing and that is what you ask for, along with a gradually increasing schedule.

Be warned though - don't approach her or go to her house or work any more, or you'll be accused of something. You are nearly there I think. But need to sound confident and proactive and propose solutions.

 

[Ady347]

2x non molestation orders, I had no legal advice so didnt know I could apply for a c100 whilst they were active.

I then got diagnosed with leukemia whilst covid going on too, then cafcass failed to submit their documentation for the c100 hearing even with 2 extensions, I then had to wait 5 months for another as it was adjorned, i got that hearing last July.

Now 9 months later I'm getting another hearing..
and all that has taken us to 4 years later. I don't know how the it will work going forward, i dont want to speak to her ever again, what my ex wife has done is truly unforgiveable in my eyes, making up lies to get me in trouble, ive had fake Facebook account messages sent to my misses family saying im dangerous, that in the early days i was trying to win back my ex, fake facebook reviews trying to harm my business and even whilst having chemo she didn't reach out and she knew I was seriously ill. I could of died and never got able to say goodbye to my kids..

She is the scum of the earth as far as I'm concerned. When we split she had the joint savings and I walked away with the clothes on my back, whenever she had a meltdown I was their, out of respect she was the first person I told about my new relationship.

She has had 6 relationships that I know of, each bloke met the kids within days. She is a hypocrit.. I would get notified as she posts her life on Facebook, new boyfriends in photos with boys after a few weeks, parents would notify me of the new 1 month boyfriend being on the school run.

 

[Ady347]

Oh and always paid CSA, never missed a payment!

 

[Kyle]

These court hearings take so long, I can't face going through this again and again, and the wait in the meantime. It will be nearly 4 years since I seen them. My youngest was 3 he is nearly 7!

I'm losing the will over this tbh I feel ive missed out on too much now.

Ive done everything they asked 9 months ago. The thought of further delays whilst they want me to attend some type of anger management course.. I'm tea total it would be as usefull as attending an AA meeting.

You have come this far. You have proven to yourself that you have the stamina. I know it's unbearable, believe me I know, I have been to the bottom of the abys and back myself and it's probably quite shocking to see a man of my size, crying, broken. But these are our kids. You are going through the period of despair that we have all been through. It's a regrettably natural part of the process I'm afraid. But you are fighting back for the same reasons we all are, to be your kids dad, and the only way you can turn this despair around is to adopt what we have adopted and that's to get warrior like with the process. Shed the tears, let the despair out. Recover, get up and fight. But the fact you are also battling serious illness adds a fight I can't even begin to imagine. But I am humbled by your persistence and will share as much of my experience as I can to support you.

Coming on here regularly to get tips to help you navigate each step will hopefully arm you with the information you need and give you focus. Because there is nothing more demoralising than not having the information you need to defend yourself. That's what this forum is for.

I too faced lots of malicious communications via Facebook and text messages etc. I have taken screen shots of all of it and added it to my court bundle for my upcoming final hearing. This sort of behaviour is not acceptable and my barrister has advised me to use these as exhibits when explaining the difficulties I had making arrangements with my ex. Keep child focused but making the family court see that she is the problem, not me.

It looks like you have plenty of positives in your case and she has lots of negatives. But don't let the hurt she's causing you turn you into her. This is a battle between dark and light and you have to stay in the light and not fight fire with fire. Fight fire with water.

The focus of the family court is entirely on what is in the best interests of your child. Not what is in the best interests of your ex. Kids need a dad. This is an opportunity to show them how good we are, and how unreasonable the mother is. But calmy, peacefully and professionally with the facts in front of you.

Take a deep breathe and get in the fight because we're all stood right next to you in the same fight ourselves.

 

[Ash]

Kyle has it in a nutshell. Keep it focused on your kids and what's best for them, not your ex. I also felt like that as my ex did some really terrible things (the worst is the lies to the kids and witholding them), I had hate mail and harrassment and it nearly did drive me away. Bizarrely, after all this they expect you to carry on as if nothing has happened and be civilised over co parenting. Bizarrely - that is possible.

However you feel about her, keep that to yourself and say - you only want the children to be able to enjoy happy loving homes with both parents, and suggest recitals that say "The parents will communicate in a civilised manner by email when necessary, or by text in an emergency" and "neither parent will derogate the other parent in front of the children".

Then it shows YOU are the one who is holding their head up and putting the kids first, and she is the awkward one who is slagging you off. You just need to get to a final hearing - and her lies will unravel under cross examination and you win your case and get your order.

Along the way now, get focused on putting together an evidence file for your final statement. Print out any emails or texts you might want to use as evidence. Eg Evidence of her being hostile, or unreasonable, or contradicting herself. And always present yourself at court as the calm pleasant one. Any display of emotion doesn't go down well at all (the assume either it's fake or you're dodgy or unstable or something).

If necessary you can have Cafcass cross examined at final hearing as well, to undermine their report if you can show it's flawed. Eg if they did the section 7 without seeing the children with you, or if they believed things the ex told them without evidence.

 

[Ady347]

Thanks for replies.. CAFCASS are a joke in my opinion.

They were supposed to visit me and be interviewed, it ended up being a 20 minute over the phone interview 2 days before the hearing.

They then asked for 2 extensions delaying the hearing further. When the hearing arrived they hadn't even submitted anything so it was adjourned.

In their documentation they said the boys became very upset after the interview,I asked them to elaborate on this and thats when they said they didn't witness it, it was only what the mother said.

I told them if you didn't witness it then surely it shouldn't be in the report as it might not be true.
They also started saying how the the boys were flourishing at school, indicating that since I wasn't in their lives everything was improving.. load of rubbish! I was the only one who helped them with homework etc....

I said to them surely they are maturing so that will make a difference too.

 

[Ady347]

I felt the CAFCASS was rushed and is run on a shoestring.