How many childcare days does a divorced Dad have to commit

[Ash]

What you could do is ask for 50/50 with every other week-end and extra time in the school holidays instead of the extra week-end or midweek nights. That probably wouldn't be ordered unless she agreed to it though - and you're working so probably couldn't manage more than the usual 6.5 weeks each per year.

If you did have an order, school holidays could be defined - with set weeks. So for example an order might say for the Summer holidays:

Weeks 1, 2 and 5 with Mother, weeks 3, 4 and 6 with Father. Any additional days to be divided between the parties.
School summer holiday weeks to commence on the Friday on or after the end of term and end on the day school returns.

What this means is each week includes 7 full days so they go Friday to Friday. The first two weeks would include two week-ends as part of two weeks, then two weeks/week-ends with you, then 1 week/1 week-end with her, then 1 week/1 week-end with you.

There are usually over 6 weeks - sometimes it's nearly 7 weeks, sometimes just the odd extra day and that;s left for you to decide between you., My ex always took the extra days and I let that go - it was the only holiday it wasn't easy to split equally.

So no you don't need to do every week-end in the holidays.

 

[Ash]

I can see the issue. She is dictating everything all year round and you can't really make proper plans like that. A good mediator might explain to her that you would get what you asked for ordered so it would be less stressful and expensive for everyone to just reach an amicable agreement. And persuade both sides to reach some compromises and agreements. Trouble is, you can take a horse to water but ..............If someone is not interested in mediating they won't play ball.

If you do apply to court it could make things more hostile longer term - or it could mean the dust settles after and you settle into a reasonable routine. And you could need representation which can cost quite a bit of money.

I carried on with ex's version of arrangements (ie me as her babysitter as she liked to go out a lot and on holiday a lot) only to find she just stopped it all when she felt like it. In some ways I wish I had gone to court earlier. In other ways I'm glad my son was a bit older (nearly 8) when it happened.

So you get every week-end and more than half the holidays by the sound of it, if you get extra week-ends during school holidays. That sounds not far off 50/50 overall.