First Directions Hearing - What To Expect?

[HaychAyy]

All,

I have a directions hearing at the CFC in the couple of weeks, it is my first hearing in court and it will be a hybrid hearing as I requested this as my solicitor advocate is based in a difference city as am I which they agreed to.

I filed a C100 and C1A, have had the CC initial call and have not seen my daughter for 9 months.

- Ex previously agreed to informal contact after separating, I only got to see my daughter once before communication broke down. Ex maintains her position that she had not stopped me from seeing my daughter but of course this is all lip service as when contact is proposed it is ignored, both through my solicitor and via direct message.

- CFC requested we both submit a summary table of allegations with accompanying statement. This has been completed by both parties. Once I responded to the allegations, I was blocked so have not had any updates on my daughter (two weeks ago) I intend on requesting that updates are reinstated at this hearing which I imagine the court will agree to.

- CC advised the court to pursue a FFH and advised against contact in the meantime.

My question today is how likely is it in your opinions that I get interim contact agreed with the court at this first hearing, contact centre or whatever is proposed to build that relationship with my daughter. She is just over one years old now and I am conscious I have not had a chance to bond with her. I am completely willing to staircase my contact approach and understand it will need to be done gradually over a period of time but I am desperate to reinstate interim contact in the meanwhile.

Thanks in advance

 

[DB2021]

All,

I have a directions hearing at the CFC in the couple of weeks, it is my first hearing in court and it will be a hybrid hearing as I requested this as my solicitor advocate is based in a difference city as am I which they agreed to.

I filed a C100 and C1A, have had the CC initial call and have not seen my daughter for 9 months.

- Ex previously agreed to informal contact after separating, I only got to see my daughter once before communication broke down. Ex maintains her position that she had not stopped me from seeing my daughter but of course this is all lip service as when contact is proposed it is ignored, both through my solicitor and via direct message.

- CFC requested we both submit a summary table of allegations with accompanying statement. This has been completed by both parties. Once I responded to the allegations, I was blocked so have not had any updates on my daughter (two weeks ago) I intend on requesting that updates are reinstated at this hearing which I imagine the court will agree to.

- CC advised the court to pursue a FFH and advised against contact in the meantime.

My question today is how likely is it in your opinions that I get interim contact agreed with the court at this first hearing, contact centre or whatever is proposed to build that relationship with my daughter. She is just over one years old now and I am conscious I have not had a chance to bond with her. I am completely willing to staircase my contact approach and understand it will need to be done gradually over a period of time but I am desperate to reinstate interim contact in the meanwhile.

Thanks in advance

Hi there Welcome to the Forum.

I’m sorry to hear your having these issues sadly there not uncommon but there’s plenty of us dads/partners on here that can guide you and support you through it.

Did Cafcass give a reason why there advising no contact for the meantime? Has ex made serious allegations about you?

Usually the court would only not order interim contact even if in a contact centre if there was welfare concerns.

With tou being represented you stand a better chance and hopefully they will really fight your corner as you seam very sensible and are asking for slow progression and given the little ones age a court wouldn’t order loads straight away as far as I’m aware.

There is other dads on the that have more experience on this than me as my little one is 6 so it’s different to a new born and I’m sure they will offer there advice soon .

Hang in there it sounds like your doing everything right and being child focused which is the best way to go about it

 

[HaychAyy]

Thank you. The allegations made were coercive control, financial control, emotional abuse/abandonment, verbal abuse.

CC advised no interim contact as serious allegations have been made by both parties. Although they say this, the safeguarding letter was very one sided in favour of mother.

Happy to staircase contact but as mentioned I am desperate for consistent contact with my daughter.

Just have no idea how realistic it is for them to allow interim contact or even discuss it at such an early stage in the process. My advocate said he will push for it nonetheless.

 

[DB2021]

Thank you. The allegations made were coercive control, financial control, emotional abuse/abandonment, verbal abuse.

CC advised no interim contact as serious allegations have been made by both parties. Although they say this, the safeguarding letter was very one sided in favour of mother.

Happy to staircase contact but as mentioned I am desperate for consistent contact with my daughter.

Just have no idea how realistic it is for them to allow interim contact or even discuss it at such an early stage in the process. My advocate said he will push for it nonetheless.

That’s is a very flimsy reason for saying no interim contact so make sure your solicitor really fights that.

Sadly this is the usual rubbish us fathers have to go through women make accusations and it’s instantly believed so best option keep dad away yet we aren’t allowed to say anything negative against mum it’s infuriating.

And it sounds like you got a really bad Cafcass officer sadly that’s another thing that’s normal.

That’s the bad side both party’s made allegations serious ones yet the father is penalised but you need to be careful about saying anything negative about mum moving forward as you don’t want the “conflict between parents” tag as that can be seriously bad for fathers.

That’s not to say you can’t defend yourself etc with evidence but you want to stay child focused and show the court that your the reasonable parent who just wants to co parent which I’m sure you are.

It’s not a level playing field and that’s the barriers we have to overcome so it’s all about playing the game jumping through hoops but staying child focused no matter what’s thrown at you. Unfair very much so but to get the best outcome detach from your ex and her bullshit just focus on getting time with your little one your solicitor should help with that.

But I’d also think about using a Direct Access Barrister rather than a solicitor, solicitors just build up huge bills charging you for everything which just isn’t needed a lot of it you can do yourself. The barrister is there to fight your case at court and are so much better at it than solicitors and have more experience they also don’t cost as much as they charge a set fee for whatever hearing they attend. Solicitors will charge you just for sending an email to court etc which believe it or not is not hard at all and we are all here to help you through this.

It is very realistic to hope you will get interim time with your little one as judges don’t have to take Cafcass’s recommendations and your solicitor can argue that there report is flawed.

So stay positive

 

[Ash]

Thank you. The allegations made were coercive control, financial control, emotional abuse/abandonment, verbal abuse.

CC advised no interim contact as serious allegations have been made by both parties. Although they say this, the safeguarding letter was very one sided in favour of mother.

Happy to staircase contact but as mentioned I am desperate for consistent contact with my daughter.

Just have no idea how realistic it is for them to allow interim contact or even discuss it at such an early stage in the process. My advocate said he will push for it nonetheless.

That is normal that they are one sided in favour of the Mother. What allegations did you make in your C1A? Although Cafcass have recommended a fact find, that doesn't necessary mean one will be ordered - that will be decided by the Judge at the hearing. It would be a good idea to have representation for that hearing and hopefully the Judge can be persuaded not to do a fact find as these things can cause a lot of delays, be expensive, and can go badly wrong. If both parties have made allegations that is often why a fact find is ordered though. But if you have a lawyer, the Judge may decide just to do another hearing with both parties presenting a certain number of allegations and him deciding.

 

[HaychAyy]

I raised concerns on behaviours I genuinely experienced through the relationship - controlling behaviour, continuous attempts at breaking my relationship with family, financial abuse, stone walling, physical abuse although it was light it happened in public and private settings which I found extremely humiliating and repeatedly asked for this behaviour to stop.

My allegations with table were 4 pages, ex submitted 16 pages worth.

In hindsight and after reading these forum articles, I feel like I have got bad legal advice (I have already got rid of my original solicitor and changed after getting a few bad pieces of advice and errors made). I feel like I should have avoided the whole 'conflict with parents' as advised above.

I cant change what has happened but I am glad I have come across this forum as my focus will now go on ignoring any abuse I get, and rising above it and demonstrating to the court all I want is to be there for my daughter. I will push for no fact finding although this hearing is not in front of a judge but lay justices as well as for any interim contact I can get. I am going to work on drafting a contact progression plan to take to this initial hearing.

 

[winger]

Hello! Welcome to the forum, lots and lots of great people on here who can help as you go through the process, we've all been there, some of us still going through. You learn a lot and it opens your eyes to how terrible the family court system is.

Keep completely child focused, not you, not your ex, but your child. Why should they be with you? Extended family?
I assume you're on the birth certificate?

I have a directions hearing at the CFC in the couple of weeks, it is my first hearing in court and it will be a hybrid hearing as I requested this as my solicitor advocate is based in a difference city as am I which they agreed to.

I would encourage you to get a barrister if you can, to be with you in court. As DB said solicitors do a lot of admin, barristers are the ones who are best in court. A barrister will really fight for you, and at this directions hearing could push for interim time for you and your daughter. It might be at a contact centre or it might not be, but as you say, it's just important to start bonding with your baby.

I was in a similar situation. I was arrested for false allegations much like yours, and didn't see my daughter for 5 months. The ex did everything to delay and make things hard, mediation was useless, and the only thing to do was apply to court. I managed to get interim time at my first hearing, which started the week after. It will be progressive, so it may start at 2 hours, then 4 hours, etc. It's a little different with your daughter as shes only 1. Mine was nearly 2, and I was a stay at home father with her for her whole life, so the dynamics are slightly different. But that doesn't change the fact you need time with her to build your relationship, the court know this. It will depend on the judge, and your barrister / solicitor. Again it's important you have good representation, a barrister who can persuade the judge that you should have interim time, even if it's at a contact center.

CC advised the court to pursue a FFH and advised against contact in the meantime

Cafcass advised the same at my first hearing, the judge threw it out. By then the false allegations had been investigated by the police, for months and months, and were NFA'd. It was clear how much of a joke it all was. Ex tried to carry it on in family court, which is normal, they'll do anything to make it hard or delay. Again my barrister reiterated it was all investigated and how there was absolutely nothing there, even the police officer investigating it said he struggled to find anything at all, and like I said the family court judge threw that all out, and said there would be no fact-finding hearing. So again I would advise good representation.

It's all about jumping through the hoops of this process. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Were you with your daughter for the year before all this started?
I think, I would hope, the court will see that your daughter needs to spend time with you, and will order interim time, probably at a contact center to start with. But there's no way of knowing for sure, but you need to stack the odds in your favour, and having a barrister is one way of doing that.

 

[Ash]

I raised concerns on behaviours I genuinely experienced through the relationship - controlling behaviour, continuous attempts at breaking my relationship with family, financial abuse, stone walling, physical abuse although it was light it happened in public and private settings which I found extremely humiliating and repeatedly asked for this behaviour to stop.

My allegations with table were 4 pages, ex submitted 16 pages worth.

In hindsight and after reading these forum articles, I feel like I have got bad legal advice (I have already got rid of my original solicitor and changed after getting a few bad pieces of advice and errors made). I feel like I should have avoided the whole 'conflict with parents' as advised above.

I cant change what has happened but I am glad I have come across this forum as my focus will now go on ignoring any abuse I get, and rising above it and demonstrating to the court all I want is to be there for my daughter. I will push for no fact finding although this hearing is not in front of a judge but lay justices as well as for any interim contact I can get. I am going to work on drafting a contact progression plan to take to this initial hearing.

I did submit a C1A once - this was after years of coparenting and a lot of time with my son and ex was breaching an order that wasn't enforceable so I had to apply to vary. I did have social worker evidence to attach (it didn't say a lot but helped because it meant I could say my son had been coached to speak to the SW) because I was concerned about emotional and psychological abuse of my son. The form itself, encourages you to put about abuse of yourself and I added psychological abuse of myself (I'd been bombarded with hate mail). I can tell you now, that form is only geared for Mothers! They don't care two hoots about any abuse of a man! After I'd submitted it (I had just sacked one solicitor) I got a new one and she was better and said - sadly they really aren't interested in any abuse of you - as a parent you're supposed to rise above it and put the child first.

That of course is double standards to a degree - because it's taken seriously for Mothers - but generally both parents are supposed to draw a line under historic issues that led to a breakdown of the relationship and attempt to co parent for the child.

So usually I'd say - don't submit a C1A unless you have hard evidence to attach - and that means paper evidence - eg a Social worker report or police report. Otherwise it's just seen as mudslinging.

My case was different as I'd already been parenting a lot of the time for years. And it was mostly child focused in the application - but the bit about psychological abuse of me was completely ignored.

So yes Cafcass just see this as parents with unresolved issues - who are still arguing after a breakdown and they see that as parents who aren't putting the child first.

I did say to one guy on here, that what you could do is, in a position statement for the first hearing, say you wish to withdraw your allegations and accept they were an emotional reaction to the breakdown of the relationship and in the past now, and draw a line under the past and focus on the child having happy loving relationships with both parents, and you wish to co parent amicably, but suggest a coparenting app to help with this.

In his case the Judge said - too late to withdraw those allegations now, they've been made. And it did go to a fact find anyway.

The courts just see it as an ex couple still fighting, and the child in the middle of it.

Anyway you know all this now, but I second what Winger said - you need a good barrister to handle this for you at the first hearing.

 

[HaychAyy]

@winger

Correct, I am on the birth certificate. In terms of getting a barrister, my advocate was appointed through recommendation from someone close to me who has used him for advocacy in the past and assures me he holds himself well in court and will fight for what I want. I will go with him for this hearing on that basis, should he not deliver, I will explore using a barrister.

On costs, I do most things myself, with input as and when required. All filling to the court etc. I do myself and limit what he does to the best of my ability.

My ex has never made a complaint to LA, the police or anything of that sort (that's a positive I guess) and her reasoning in the allegations was that she was simply in denial at the time.

In terms of being with my daughter before all this started, I lived with and assisted in the care of my daughter from birth till 3 months at which point physical separation took place with ex returning to maternal home. Following this, I have only seen my daughter in person once which was agreed upon before communication broke down as I was being bullied by maternal family to do everything asked if I wanted to see my daughter at which point I instructed my solicitor and filed my application as I knew that was the only way I would get consistent and fair time with my daughter. The reason provided by ex to CAFFCASS was that I was holding my daughters passport which is correct as I believe my ex to be a genuine flight risk. She was not a British Citizen since birth and she has immediate family members who have married and now reside abroad.

Like I said, I am happy for it to start at a contact centre if that is what is necessary to start things.

@Ash

Withdrawing the allegations may be a good avenue to pursue, I will seriously consider this if it means we avoid FF and contact starts and builds quicker. Agreed, I would have expected my then solicitor to tell me everything I've been told here but you live and learn.

All - does anyone by any chance have a contact progression plan template that I can use as a reference?

 

[winger]

Hey how has everything been going?
I've been away for a few days so I've only just seen your reply.

Mine and my daughters time together has been progressive, it started at 2 hours once a week for 4 weeks, then it went to 4 hours, then 8, now it's overnight. Mine is unsupervised.

I think the court likes to do progressive time, it's good for everyone, it just takes time.

 

[HaychAyy]

Thanks for all the information above guys.

Had my directions hearing, they have decided no FFH is required even though there was a lot of allegations made by the respondent.

They have ordered the next step to be a Section 7 in 5 months and then position statements a week after, then a hearing a week after that.

No interim contact in the meanwhile which was very difficult to accept but I am trying to stay as positive as I can.

I have read through the Section 7 post on here and will attempt to prepare as best as possible for this next step.

 

[winger]

Great news about the no fact find, but 5 months seems a long time for a section 7! Keep positive, know that things will change. In the meantime you could send your kids little parcels, pictures, a letter, and perhaps a little toy. A few of us on here have done this, it really helps knowing that you have some connection even while not physically being with them.
How old are they?

 

[HaychAyy]

It is indeed but what can I do? I will want to push for it to be at least a video call as the way it was described at the hearing was to expect another phone call! Yes! I have been doing this but will continue to do this... they also instructed ex to provide monthly updates on progression.

13 months! Super young. I am hoping and praying it gets wrapped up by the time my child is 2.