Finances and child arrangements

[MagicJ]

@Ash in the end there was no need, stbx ,in one and only contact with solicitor said my lad is at an age now where if he wants to see me he will,she's left the decision firmly with him, and we are in more regular contact now and have seen him a handful of times too

This is really good, I think you have been incredibly fortunate and your circumstances are an outlier - marital breakdowns that become acrimonious result in the separation of the children from Dad and Mum pushing finances.

I'm glad you're getting time with the lad!

 

[MagicJ]

Reading that link I'm in exactly that same position, stbx is on notice,had an order served and a costs awarded to me for failure to submit and ,with admission,not turning up for the first hearing after stating she was aware but will not be in attendance

I think you'll be hard pressed to get any money in your account in reality unless she is loaded.

Every solicitor I spoke to declined to chase for Cost Awards on the basis I was a higher earner and it is hard to actually get the funds.

It's worth recording the fact that they were awarded though, as that itself will help your case.

 

[capa]

I think you'll be hard pressed to get any costs in reality unless she is loaded.

Every solicitor I spoke to declined to chase for Cost Awards on the basis I was a higher earner and it is hard to actually get the funds.

It's worth recording the fact though, as that itself will help your case.

Without divulging too much, I was awarded costs at the first hearing , cost of barrister and cost of wasting court time due to the no show

 

[MagicJ]

Regarding the form e, there is a time limit to file to the court and exchange however, delaying it will bring consequences for that party and extend the process further,however, a valid reason why and I mean an evidence proofed reason will be accepted by the judge tentatively

Hey @capa , just to be clarify, the situation here is access to the child in flux with no C100 filed and no FRO started.

In these circumstances you have to triage where you are going to out your energy and funds - money can be replaced, children can not - I would be batting the Finances into touch for as long as possible whilst working to secure the Children's access to their Dad.

 

[MagicJ]

@JC83 , it's interesting that there is no NMO yet your bail conditions prevent communication, I can't say I've seen that a common situation to be - did you get a criminal solicitor to represent you, what did they have to say about the whole thing?

Given there is no NMO, I would urgently get a Mediation MIAM completed and ensure you have the C100 ready to submit - donyou understand that process well enough?

The other aspect that strikes me is that, she seems to have already made up her mind that she is the main parent, if she'd had the children's interests at heart, she would have sent you a Mediaton request or Solicitors letter broaching that subject at the same time.

 

[JC83]

@MagicJ Yes I did have a criminal solicitor represent me and the bail conditions got amended to enable me to contact stbx via a solicitor. They made no reference to a lack of a NMO.

I had engaged a solicitor and they were hoping to submit the c100 next week. They have made no reference to a mediation MAIM. I’m not savvy with the process to be honest and have been guided by them. Will MAIM be an option if I have been arrested and on bail due to allegations of DV?

Yes I agree, I think she feels she is the main parent. My solicitor has sent her solicitor details about contact but social services have got involved and are suggesting supervised contact in a community setting until the outcome of a court hearing. My stbx seems to wanting to adhere to these recommendations so I imagine it will end up going all the way to a final hearing. I don’t want to go down this route as I’d rather try and sort things out amicably but I have this gut feeling she just wants me in my child’s life as little as possible/only when it suits her.

 

[MagicJ]

I am not experienced in the type of situation that your in, bail conditions and Social Services and don't want to mis-advise, so I'll leave next steps to other members with that experience.

I would say that the Solicitor should know exactly what to do for submission but just ask the question to them, is a Mediation Miam & signoff necessary?

I've found sometimes, they just do exactly as a client asks & nothing more or nothing less.

 

[Ash]

I would definitely go and have a MIAM as a C100 application won't be accepted without a MIAM sign off. Sometimes solicitors say you can do an urgent application so no MIAM needed - but it is never going to be accepted as an urgent application.

A MIAM (Mediation Information Assessment meeting) is the first mediation session that you go to on your own. You explain the situation to the mediator, the mediator explains to you what mediation can do (it's a formality in your case). Normally they would then ask if you agree to the ex being invited to mediation. Under these circumstances you can say - mediation isn't appropriate and you would like to be signed off straight away and your solicitor is preparing a C100 application.

So you just google family mediators in your region, phone around them - take the first available appointment. If you tell them it's urgent they can sometimes fit you in within a day or two. They send on the mediation sign-off form after your MIAM - that can sometimes take a week or two. Ask for that urgently as well. The MIAM sign off form is actually page 9 of the C100 form. In the C100 it's blank obviously. You replace the blank page 9 with the page the mediator sends you that's filled in and signed.

Did you try to start mediation before? If you've already had a MIAM you could just contact that mediator and ask to get signed off.

 

[JC83]

Thank you @MagicJ and @Ash I will ask my solicitor about mediation tomorrow and question why this wasn’t mentioned before. If they state they can do an urgent application I’ll question this too and I’ll get on with contacting local mediators. I guess the mediation would be classed as not appropriate as I cannot contact stbx directly due to bail conditions?

I didn’t start mediation before. We tried to informally sort out arrangements but then I got arrested!

 

[capa]

I was in the same position, where I can't contact stbx directly/Indirectly and afterthesession with the mediator it was signed off there and then,however,the mediator did say that currently the mediation services are locked in discussions with the courts to allow this to happen to allow a sit down between both parties woth a no contact order in place, as its a service to resolve issues just like as a family court would.

Also from initial phone call to mediation appointment it took 2 weeks

 

[JC83]

@capa thank you. Did you get a letter from the mediator to submit with your c100 at the same time it was signed off?

 

[capa]

Mine was for financials ,but yes within the week I had the signed of certificate which was then forwarded to solicitor to attach to the form A, application to start financial proceedings

 

[Ash]

Financial mediation is different to mediation for Child Arrangements. I did once take page 9 of the C100 with me to a MIAM and asked to be signed off on the day as it was for an urgent application. Technically you don't need a MIAM for an urgent application but I wanted to be sure the application wasn't rejected in case they didn't consider it urgent. Mediator was very difficult about it and said they're not supposed to do that, but she did eventually! If you just need a MIAM sign off, some Dads have used an online mediation service that will do it within 24 hours.

@JC83 I would just get a MIAM sign off anyway and give it to the solicitor to go with the C100. If you ask them and they say it's not necessary, then it could put you in an awkward position. Because it almost certainly is necessary!

 

[JC83]

@capa @Ash thanks for the advice and I will get a MIAM sign off.