Finances and child arrangements

[JC83]

Hi,

I have recently separated from my stbx who wants a divorce. The divorce application has yet to be filed but her solicitor is asking for form e’s to be completed. It feels like her solicitor is pressuring my solicitor to do this and my solicitor seems to want to go along with submitting it.

Stbx made false allegations against me and I’m on bail and cannot see my child unless via a contact centre. My bail conditions state I can only speak to my stbx via a solicitor. Having looked at this forum, it seems that my bail will likely be extended several times which will delay the whole process. I feel like the only financial aspect I want to sort out at this stage is that around financially supporting my child, so I cannot be accused of failing to do this down the line. My child is nearly 3.

Any suggestions on how to approach this? Hoping to put in a c100 shortly.

Many thanks

 

[Roblox]

Just on the divorce side of things. There's no pressure to start the form e process if the divorce is yet to be filed.

 

[JC83]

Thanks for your reply Roblox. If my stbx ex files it say, next week, what would you advise then?

All of this has had me blindsided to be honest. Until discovering this forum I didn’t realise how common this is. Feel totally broken but reading all of the supportive posts has given me hope I can see my child again one day.

 

[MagicJ]

Hi @JC83 , welcome to the forum, sorry to hear it's come to an end, it's always difficult process at the beginning, so take your time to sit with that.

The Divorce, Childcare, Finances whilst related are not directly linked and work as 3 seperate processes.

You do not need to do anything in regards to the Divorce let that process run, it takes several weeks to start during which you can accept or reject the Divorce then there is a 20 week wait before Conditional Divorce and then another 6 weeks before a Final Divorce can be granted - at that point it is usually the filing party that would apply for the Divorce certificate - that puts a finalised Divorce at Q1 2025.

Your focus is your child, I'll let those who have been in similar positions respond but ultimately whilst they are pursuing finances, you'll want to prioritise the childcare process.

 

[MagicJ]

I'd suggest posting in the Childcare board as well, asking for advice on how to proceed with a C100 in your position I.e. i presume it was with a NMO?

 

[JC83]

@MagicJ thank you so much for your reply. Yes, it certainly came as a shock and seeing a therapist to help process things.

I will focus on the child arrangements as advised. My solicitor will hopefully be putting in the c100 next week. It did not come with a NMO which was surprising, but then my bail conditions state I cannot go near stbx or the property so I guess she has that covered already.

 

[capa]

Hi @JC83 and welcome, it appears that you sre ina very similar situation as to myself, im in the financial court process with the final order awaiti g to be finalised,but will not do this until the finances have been agreeds and sealed.

How keen is stbx to start financials? Have you looked at the form e yet?

 

[JC83]

Hi @capa, sorry to hear you are in this situation too, it sucks!!

Thanks for the information. She is very keen to start financials as she has control of my child at the moment (not seen them for weeks) so probably has been advised by her solicitor to push for this now whilst she is in control. I haven’t looked at the form e yet but have been given a copy to fill in. Sounds like from other members to leave this for stbx to push me to complete via the court process whilst I focus on child arrangements.

 

[capa]

I'm happy to help and advise regarding the form e if you wish, I'm in the reverse situation where I'm pushing for finances and stbx is been very non compliant, send me a private message and I will advise some pitfalls surrounding form

 

[Ash]

@capa I think he's wanting to focus on the Child Arrangements first and delay doing the Form E. @MagicJ and @Roblox - how long can he delay responding to the request to do the form E?

It sounds like the usual thing where the ex is preventing child arrangements and pushing for finances to be sorted instead. As Magic says they are separate process and a Child Arrangements application won't even be interested in the financial side of things in the background.

However they can affect each other - because if you had a 50/50 shared care order for Child Arrangements, that would directly affect the outcome of the financial side (possibly) in that there would be no maintenance to pay. Solicitors for ex's push for the ex to be the sole resident parent, to maximise any financial package by way of funding the former home and maximising Child Maintenance.

So their priority is to delay Child Arrangements and push for financial settlement. For you, the priority is Child Arrangements a) to see you child regularly and b) to ensure the child isn't used as hostage or leverage over financial matters.

If you want anyone to look over C100 application wording, I'm happy to do so. There's sample wording in the resources section for section 5b. If you have a solicitor doing it for you, make sure you're happy with the 5b wording - you can always ask for it to be different. Some solicitors can be quite minimal in that section and just say something like "Dad wants an order to see his Child" - which is not that helpful as there will be thousands of applications that say the same. The other thing is, what you ask for in an initial application can't be changed later usually. So if you ask for vague, you get a vague order. It helps to ask for specifics. Eg a 50/50 shared care order on a 2-2-5-5 basis. You can always negotiate down from that later.

You can also submit the C100 yourself and don't need a solicitor for that. Even when using a solicitor I submitted my own C100 application (partly to save on costs and partly just to make sure certain things were clear in it about the situation).

 

[capa]

Regarding the form e, there is a time limit to file to the court and exchange however, delaying it will bring consequences for that party and extend the process further,however, a valid reason why and I mean an evidence proofed reason will be accepted by the judge tentatively

 

[Ash]

As I understand it (from this link), Form E isn't required until a) Financial proceedings are issued at court b) about 5 weeks before the first hearing. Getting Child Arrangements underway would be a high priority. Did you ever apply for Child Arrangements Capa?

https://www.gnlaw.co.uk/news/not-filing-form-e-in-divorce-proceedings/

 

[capa]

@Ash in the end there was no need, stbx ,in one and only contact with solicitor said my lad is at an age now where if he wants to see me he will,she's left the decision firmly with him, and we are in more regular contact now and have seen him a handful of times too

 

[capa]

As I understand it (from this link), Form E isn't required until a) Financial proceedings are issued at court b) about 5 weeks before the first hearing. Getting Child Arrangements underway would be a high priority. Did you ever apply for Child Arrangements Capa?

https://www.gnlaw.co.uk/news/not-filing-form-e-in-divorce-proceedings/

Reading that link I'm in exactly that same position, stbx is on notice,had an order served and a costs awarded to me for failure to submit and ,with admission,not turning up for the first hearing after stating she was aware but will not be in attendance

 

[JC83]

@Ash and @capa Thank you both for the advice. It sounds best to wait for the moment then as a divorce has yet to be filed and I’ll wait for her to proceed with financial proceedings via the courts.

@Ash thank you. My solicitor has apparently been filling in the c100 and she will run it past me so I’ll check the section 5b wording. Can I just check if ‘shared care’ is different with ‘lives with’. Excuse the ignorance but what does 2-2-5-5 mean? Thanks

 

[Ash]

They kind of mean the same but sometimes it's important to state specifics. "Shared care" on it's own is basically saying lives with both parents because it's "sharing the care" between parents as opposed to the Mother being "the parent with care" - which is something they are if they have sole "lives with". However, on it's own it can be misconstrued (conveniently) to mean any amount of shared care - eg minimal rather than 50/50.

"Lives with both parents" is clear (it's what used to be called Shared Residency or Joint Custody before the terminology changed). So an order is either Lives with Mother, spends time with Father, or Lives with both parents. Spends time with is what used to be called "Contact". Some solicitors (especially those acting for ex's) still use the term contact because it's a term that minimises the value of a Father (IMO).

So if you want 50/50 and the children to have joint residency (ie two legal homes rather than the Mother being the sole parent with care), you ask for an order for "Lives with both parents" on an equal shared care basis.

You could say on a 50/50 shared care basis but it can be better to say on an equal shared care basis with a 2-2-5-5 schedule.

The 2-2-5-5 schedule makes it clear it's 50/50 without actually saying 50/50. Some Cafcass officers can be a bit negative about Dads saying 50/50 for some reason. Most are ok with it.

So a 2-2-5-5 schedule is the schedule for the children to spend with each parent fortnightly and one of the most common 50/50 schedules for children over 3 or 4. For older children it could be 7-7. (ie a week on week off basis with each parent). For younger children, something like 2-2-3-3-2-2 works better.

So if you think of a 14 day fortnight. What it means is that over that 14 days the child spends 2 days and 5 days with each parent. The way it works for school age children is. Monday Tuesday with parent A, Wednesday Thursday with parent B every week. Then every other week-end with each parent from Friday through to Monday morning. So the 2 nights is the two midweek nights each week, and the 5 nights is the 3 night week-end tacked onto the 2 nights for that week.

If you have a very young child then it could even be 2-1-2-1 and so on. But 2-2-3-3-2-2-3 works ok as well. That would be

Mon Tues Parent A, Wed Thurs parent B, Friday to Monday morning parent A, Mon Tues parent B, Wed Thurs parent A, Friday to Mon morning, parent B (repeat fortnightly).

How old is your child?

 

[JC83]

@Ash thank you for such a detailed response. Yes I would like lives with both parents on an equal shared care basis.

My child is 2.

 

[Roblox]

I can't remember exact timelines but my ex filed for divorce November / December time and we did the form e stuff a few months later.

Things from memory rarely happen quickly with divorce.

 

[capa]

@robyor memory serves you well, from application to first hearing was 3 months, and now the next first hearing due to no show or form e is 3 months after first one

 

[JC83]

@Roblox @capa Thank you both for your advice, much appreciated