So had my remote FHDRA today. It was scheduled for 90 minutes starting at 10am. Judge was 15 minutes late with no apologies or reason given. Cafcass were not present and the judge said "it was a shame" The hearing ended a few minutes before 11am as the judge had another hearing at 11. So my 90 minute hearing was less than half of that.
I had made allegations of parental alienation and manipulation by the mother on my C100 application. Judge asked me to substantiate this. When I tried to offer my reasonings she stopped me and told me not to go over the past and look to the future. When I tried yet again to explain she stopped me a second time and said I was still going over the past. She then began to tell me that it could just be that the children genuinely don't want contact with me and I have to understand the difficulty they are going through.
She then asked me what exactly I wanted from the hearing so I informed her that I wanted an interim order as detailed in my position statement and that I had also detailed the final CAO arrangements in the same position statement. She hadn't read my position statement at this point and must have brought them up on her PC, she briefly commented that mine was formal and lengthy and my ex's was informal and short when she quickly looked at it.
I then recited exactly what I wanted from the CAO which she noted down and then commented that it was very detailed.
She then asked my ex what her thoughts were and said "I know that you will disagree with it" Ex refused, stating she had already agreed dates with me (on her terms of course)
She then asked ex what her thoughts were on the current situation and there was lies and inaccuracies in most of it. After she finished judge asked me to respond and again stopped me saying you are going over the past again, how I was supposed to reply to allegations and untruths when constantly being prevented by the judge from doing so was very perplexing and to be honest confusing. I made the judge aware that I had tried on numerous occasions to co-parent including the use of a co-parenting app and this was refused at every stage. The judge then asked what a co-parenting app was!!!! When I explained she then asked the ex if she had considered the use of one. This then unleashed the hell knows no fury like a woman scorned. My ex went crazy and started saying how I'd coercively controlled her for 20 years and she'd thought she'd escaped and that I would be using the parenting app to spy on her and control her, incredibly the judge said she would not order the use of an app and that we should continue to communicate via email, ex then stated my email contact was harassment. Judge agreed and told me to keep emails and content to a minimum. She did not speak to my ex about the blatant allegations and absolute hostility toward me.
Judge agreed with ex that me waiting 6 weeks for summer holiday dates was acceptable and that I had to also consider ex had to make arrangements hence the delays and that I should be mindful of this.
Judge had absolutely no interest that my children had expressed wishes to spend more time with me, she also stopped me yet again when I tried to correct an inaccurate claim that one of my daughters didn't want to come with me on one of the days, I put forward that this was because mum had already planned other activities for that day and it was putting my daughter in the middle. Judge said I was going over the past again and to stop.
The judge completely refused my application for interim contact and refused the children spending time with me where I live as my accommodation isn't suitable. She also stated that my application for a shared care order held no merit as my reasons for applying (me wanting the children to see us both as equal parents and also to minimise future court applications, for example to take them out of the UK) was not a good enough reason and that the court would deny this. Ex also stated that she was the primary and sole caregiver and that a change in the children's circumstances wasn't in their best interest. I reiterated that I wasn't looking at a transfer of residence and that I was simply trying to create a CAO that was workable by both of us. Judge dismissed...
Judge asked if we both agree that a Cafcass child impact assessment would be suitable, we both acknowledged this would be in the best interests of the children however ex dropped in that she feels they need to be heard about how they struggle with their relationship with me.
Judge then cut the hearing short, stating that we should be both behave like adults and after taking time to reflect should send a nice email to each other about how we are going to move forward??? This is despite the fact the ex alleged my emails were harassment and the judge agreed.
Judge then said she would order a Cafcass child impact assessment, Cafcass lead mediation and would schedule a directions and dispute resolution hearing. No time frames given and I am now to continue my contact as determined by the mother.
In summary; my experience thus far of the family law court is one of absolute disbelief, complete bias, zero impartiality and a total lack of professionalism.
I have questions but needed to get that off my chest. Apologies for the length of the post.
I had made allegations of parental alienation and manipulation by the mother on my C100 application. Judge asked me to substantiate this. When I tried to offer my reasonings she stopped me and told me not to go over the past and look to the future. When I tried yet again to explain she stopped me a second time and said I was still going over the past. She then began to tell me that it could just be that the children genuinely don't want contact with me and I have to understand the difficulty they are going through.
She then asked me what exactly I wanted from the hearing so I informed her that I wanted an interim order as detailed in my position statement and that I had also detailed the final CAO arrangements in the same position statement. She hadn't read my position statement at this point and must have brought them up on her PC, she briefly commented that mine was formal and lengthy and my ex's was informal and short when she quickly looked at it.
I then recited exactly what I wanted from the CAO which she noted down and then commented that it was very detailed.
She then asked my ex what her thoughts were and said "I know that you will disagree with it" Ex refused, stating she had already agreed dates with me (on her terms of course)
She then asked ex what her thoughts were on the current situation and there was lies and inaccuracies in most of it. After she finished judge asked me to respond and again stopped me saying you are going over the past again, how I was supposed to reply to allegations and untruths when constantly being prevented by the judge from doing so was very perplexing and to be honest confusing. I made the judge aware that I had tried on numerous occasions to co-parent including the use of a co-parenting app and this was refused at every stage. The judge then asked what a co-parenting app was!!!! When I explained she then asked the ex if she had considered the use of one. This then unleashed the hell knows no fury like a woman scorned. My ex went crazy and started saying how I'd coercively controlled her for 20 years and she'd thought she'd escaped and that I would be using the parenting app to spy on her and control her, incredibly the judge said she would not order the use of an app and that we should continue to communicate via email, ex then stated my email contact was harassment. Judge agreed and told me to keep emails and content to a minimum. She did not speak to my ex about the blatant allegations and absolute hostility toward me.
Judge agreed with ex that me waiting 6 weeks for summer holiday dates was acceptable and that I had to also consider ex had to make arrangements hence the delays and that I should be mindful of this.
Judge had absolutely no interest that my children had expressed wishes to spend more time with me, she also stopped me yet again when I tried to correct an inaccurate claim that one of my daughters didn't want to come with me on one of the days, I put forward that this was because mum had already planned other activities for that day and it was putting my daughter in the middle. Judge said I was going over the past again and to stop.
The judge completely refused my application for interim contact and refused the children spending time with me where I live as my accommodation isn't suitable. She also stated that my application for a shared care order held no merit as my reasons for applying (me wanting the children to see us both as equal parents and also to minimise future court applications, for example to take them out of the UK) was not a good enough reason and that the court would deny this. Ex also stated that she was the primary and sole caregiver and that a change in the children's circumstances wasn't in their best interest. I reiterated that I wasn't looking at a transfer of residence and that I was simply trying to create a CAO that was workable by both of us. Judge dismissed...
Judge asked if we both agree that a Cafcass child impact assessment would be suitable, we both acknowledged this would be in the best interests of the children however ex dropped in that she feels they need to be heard about how they struggle with their relationship with me.
Judge then cut the hearing short, stating that we should be both behave like adults and after taking time to reflect should send a nice email to each other about how we are going to move forward??? This is despite the fact the ex alleged my emails were harassment and the judge agreed.
Judge then said she would order a Cafcass child impact assessment, Cafcass lead mediation and would schedule a directions and dispute resolution hearing. No time frames given and I am now to continue my contact as determined by the mother.
In summary; my experience thus far of the family law court is one of absolute disbelief, complete bias, zero impartiality and a total lack of professionalism.
I have questions but needed to get that off my chest. Apologies for the length of the post.
