Family Court Cafcas- Advise

[Ash]

Lol. This ex's are obsessed with having Christmas. She would rather give you unsupervised on the 23rd than risk not having Christmas Eve all for herself! And yes this is massively in your favour. However, I would be careful. It might be an idea to have someone with you anyway in case she tries to accuse you of something. Good that it's going to a final hearing. Have you already done witness statements and evidence then? Or is the Judge just saying no witness statements and evidence needed and just comment on S7? If you're in agreement with S7 then the other side will no doubt want to try and undermine Cafcass report at the final hearing and cross examine them. You will need good representation I think.

 

[wassaw123]

Hi all, I would like to get some feedback with respect to a recent matter if possible.
Last hearing (Nov 23) - Cafcass recommended i have all the access to my daughter (Which i Agreed)
Ex disagreed
This will now go to a final hearing in march

Since the hearing my i have been seeing my daughter and im becoming increasing concerned that my daughter is coming but referring me to step dad.
This has happened ever since the last hearing and in her own words yesterday she said i am her step dad and her real dad is moms bf, she said that this is what mommy has told her.

How do i approach this with the other side or court, or do i just let it slide

 

[Ash]

It would be good if you could get that in writing, discreetly. Not from your daughter. Maybe send your ex a message along the lines of

"Hi. I am concerned that daughter is referring to me as her stepdad and seems to believe that your boyfriend is her "real Dad". Please can you confirm that you will correct her understanding of who is her biological Father (real Dad) and who is her Stepdad and what this means? Thank you."

Just by sending that message, whether she replies or not, you have evidence of what ex is doing.

Having said that, if your ex is an alienator she might react badly. So if you think it might impact on your daughter, sending a message like that, then you could just put in a position statement that you're concerned by this (although it's not much different in terms of how ex would react). And meanwhile explain to your daughter that this is incorrect. How old is she? My son was about 5 when I had stuff like this. I explained to him that I was his real Dad/biological Dad and Mummy's husband was his stepdad. He argued back and said no it must be right because Mummy told me. So I said well Mummy must have made a mistake (you can't criticize ex to them or accuse her of lying or they'll resent you). He was absolutely insistent that Mummy was right. In the end I showed him his birth certificate. He said - so you are my real Dad. It was hard. He then had to cope with the idea that Mummy hadn't told him the truth. He didn't say anything.

 

[wassaw123]

Just quick question - Anyone know how to go about getting a direct access barrister

 

[Kyle]

Just quick question - Anyone know how to go about getting a direct access barrister

A Google search should return all the independant Direct Access Barrister's and Barrister's Chamber's (a group of Barristers who, while acting as sole practitioners, share costs and expenses for office overheads) in your area.

Google things like: Barrister's Chamber's in Manchester, for example, or Direct Access Barrister's near me.

I have a DIB Chamber's that I use that I can share with you via private message if you wish, (can't share these details via the open forum as its advertising).

Once you've found one you like the look of, ask for a quote, they typically ask for a copy of the Court Letter, I guess as proof that you really do have a hearing coming up, they then give you a quote. If you instruct a Chamber's, a group of Barrister's working together, their clerk may offer multiple Barrister's avaible on the day/time of your hearing and they all may provide quotes individually, depending on their experience.

Using a Chamber's can be a good choice as it give you multiple options and the opportunity to review each Barrister. Some of them may even have Trustpilot profiles or other similar reviews from previous clients to give you confidence that you'll be well represented.

 

[Ash]

I’ve been keeping a list of barristers Dads have used and been happy with - depends what region you’re in. You can message me if you like.

 

[wassaw123]

Well thought I would give an update as I had my final hearing

I agreed with cafcass recommendations but said they need to be done quicker due to the length of time Iv been doing supervised contact (3 years)
Other said argued that it needs to stay supervised for a few more years due to the dapp course I did not been cafcass certified

To cut a long story short
I go everything I asked for
It will just a little longer than I wanted it to to get to over night stays

4 years through family court and I can finally say it’s over

I am so happy I cried as I left the court

It was nice to have a judge today who actually used common sense and actually put my daughter first

 

[MagicJ]

Congratulations @wassaw123 , I'm happy for you, you've stayed the course patiently through such adversity, a testament of how best a Father you are!

What did your final order look like and when does you get to start?

MJ

 

[Ash]

Well done - that's a fantastic result and you didn't give up trying after they tried to get rid of you. I am really happy for you. You should pat yourself on the back. It'll be great for you and your kids.