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Fact finding case management questions

I am really sorry to hear that Mva. The things we have to live with when it's our own kids. Limbo for both you and the kids. Is there any chance of getting that changed in future? New evidence?

I agree it's very difficult to claim parental alienation without strong expert evidence - eg a pschologist's report. And courts see such severe cases of parental alienation that they can see a claim of PA as a retaliation if it wasn't brought up in the initial application (usually best not to actually call it that but skirt round it like saying she is trying to "turn the children against me"). That way the court themselves decides she is trying to alienate.

Again this is where my barrister was able to say something that I couldn't. In his position statement for my final hearing he said outright that the Mother had been trying to alienate the child but it wasn't working. If I had put that, I would be basically accusing her (making an allegation). This is one thing that is wrong with the court system. That an LIP has to represent themselves while still being a "parent" and positive about the other parent! Which is not possible in some situations.

It might be better to say something like it is your belief your ex is witholding your daughter, and these are not your daughter's wishes but the wishes of your ex and that she controls your daughter's phone contact (they will get that). But they won't necessarily see that as parental alienation. It's only PA if your daughter is actually refusing point blank to come with you or see you. Now if your daughter said that to Cafcass they could see that she's been coached or manipulated and see that as attempted parental alienation. Or they might be fooled by it. If they are then the next stage is to put Cafcass on the stand at final hearing for cross examination and sort it that way - if they put - daughter doesn't want to see him blah blah in their report.

The thing to be careful of is not to be seen to be accusing too much back. Or they can see it as both parents as bad as each other. Express it more as concerns about your daughter's emotional wellbeing. Parental alienation (and attempting to create it) is a real thing, but the somehow if a parent claims it they can be seen as suspect. For example Cafcass are aware that is exactly the kind of thing that an alienator would accuse - they would accuse the other parent of being the alienator! As a kind of deflection. So immediately they wonder why you are making that allegation.

So advice has usually been to "skirt round" it and use different words. And let the court see what's happening without actually naming it.
 
Parental Alienation is very hard to prove. Key thing is not to allow any facts to go against you. From my awful experience the judge accepted one allegation and therefore snow ball effect to accept the other 4. I was LIP and could straight away tell the judge believed exes narrative. Therefore on the back foot throughout the 3 day hearing. The end outcome was that I have been seeing my sons supervised for 2 years. This is worse than not seeing them tbh as it’s totally unnatural and leaves you in limbo. I really would advise getting a barrister for fact finding.
So sorry to hear this,after searching forums and joining FNF this is what I worry about.Did you have to do DAPP? Apparently that delays everything by another 6-12 months.I am definitely going into Fact finding with support and will try to be more empathic-so hard when your ex accuses you of ridiculous things but don't want to appear not agreeable etc.I just want a chance to rebuild a reliatonship with my daughter and let her decide what she wants to do and not my ex.
 
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I am really sorry to hear that Mva. The things we have to live with when it's our own kids. Limbo for both you and the kids. Is there any chance of getting that changed in future? New evidence?

I agree it's very difficult to claim parental alienation without strong expert evidence - eg a pschologist's report. And courts see such severe cases of parental alienation that they can see a claim of PA as a retaliation if it wasn't brought up in the initial application (usually best not to actually call it that but skirt round it like saying she is trying to "turn the children against me"). That way the court themselves decides she is trying to alienate.

Again this is where my barrister was able to say something that I couldn't. In his position statement for my final hearing he said outright that the Mother had been trying to alienate the child but it wasn't working. If I had put that, I would be basically accusing her (making an allegation). This is one thing that is wrong with the court system. That an LIP has to represent themselves while still being a "parent" and positive about the other parent! Which is not possible in some situations.

It might be better to say something like it is your belief your ex is witholding your daughter, and these are not your daughter's wishes but the wishes of your ex and that she controls your daughter's phone contact (they will get that). But they won't necessarily see that as parental alienation. It's only PA if your daughter is actually refusing point blank to come with you or see you. Now if your daughter said that to Cafcass they could see that she's been coached or manipulated and see that as attempted parental alienation. Or they might be fooled by it. If they are then the next stage is to put Cafcass on the stand at final hearing for cross examination and sort it that way - if they put - daughter doesn't want to see him blah blah in their report.

The thing to be careful of is not to be seen to be accusing too much back. Or they can see it as both parents as bad as each other. Express it more as concerns about your daughter's emotional wellbeing. Parental alienation (and attempting to create it) is a real thing, but the somehow if a parent claims it they can be seen as suspect. For example Cafcass are aware that is exactly the kind of thing that an alienator would accuse - they would accuse the other parent of being the alienator! As a kind of deflection. So immediately they wonder why you are making that allegation.

So advice has usually been to "skirt round" it and use different words. And let the court see what's happening without actually naming it.
Yes I can see where you are coming from.In all honesty I think my ex basically embellished and dramatized the whole incident/argument, almost as if she waited for this and then went absolutely disproportionately and contacted GP/CAMHS school etc. I think she didn't help to find a solution and just went full on steam.I don't think she knows how to regulate her emotions and consequently couldn't do that with daughter.I didn't see any alienation attempts prior to this but subtle passing of messages via daughter or mentioning some things about my family that shouldn't have been discussed in front of daughter. Overall, we didn't have great co-parenting reliatonship but not great either. She never stopped the contact once first order was done and overreacted this time.
As you say PA is hard to prove and only extreme cases get psychological reports etc. I shall wait for FFH and next steps and hoping this will be enough.
 
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