Ex New Partner Anger Issues

[Kev19]

I am in the process of taking my ex to court and I am half way through an adjourned FHDRA, my ex is denying me seeing our one year old daughter, sighting false allegations of abuse.
Today, I heard a rumour that her new partner has a court order against him stopping him seeing his four year old son for reasons of anger issues, swearing and not making the effort to see his son. Also another of his ex partners went to the police over his anger issues.
I have no idea if there is any truth in this and I can’t approach my ex as we definitely do not get on.
Obviously I am concerned for my daughters well-being, and even if my ex knows his history, my question is, should I and is there anything I can do about this, ie let my solicitor know, inform the court so they can investigate? I do not want to unnecessarily stir things up especially if there is no truth in the rumour and look like there is conflict. Can CAFCASS run a background check and if something shows up investigate further without him or my ex knowing?
Any advice is appreciated

 

[Daddy]

Could you try Clare's law, whereby a "partner" can ask police to check his background. Perhaps get a female friend to ask.

Why there isn't such a process for protecting children from mother's abusive partners, I don't know???

 

[Dirge]

I had a similar situation with concerns over my stbx's new partner. Managed to confirm some of my concerns by searching online and found a newspaper article regarding this scumbag new partner. Made some inquiries with a contact I had in the police force about Clare's law. I was told that if you made a request, any info found would be passed to the partner not you, hence Daddy's comment above. Not sure how much checking the police would do to establish that the person inquiring was a genuine partner or not. Also, as can be seen in numerous posts on here, cafcass, social workers, etc don't seem to care about mother's new partners, they're too busy persecuting decent dads who want to see their kids. There's a big risk that if you raise concerns, it will just delay proceedings and result in a longer wait to get to see your daughter - and of course there's the catch 22 that if you raised concerns further down the line they'd say to you "if you had concerns, why didn't you raise them sooner?" Terrible dilemma to be in if you have genuine concerns for your children's welfare.

 

[Ash]

It is terrible that Cafcass generally ignore concerns about an ex's partner. However if there was a criminal record they would take note.

 

[Ash]

I know of one Dad who went for residency when his kids complained ex's partner was yelling at them and smacking them. He ended up with 50/50. They expect the Mother to "keep an eye on things". The kids weren't happy and wanted to live with Dad full time, but things did improve after that as they had an emergency word to send if there was a problem and could report to school.

 

[Kev19]

Thank you for your comments. While it appears wrong and double standards are being shown by ex partners it sounds like I could be causing more problems for myself by raising concerns. Think I need to see if snowless comes to light before acting in haste.

 

[Jumper85]

Hi @Kev19. I had similar concerns about my ex's new partner and his past. Whilst a section 7 report was being investigated, I raised my concern with CAFCASS stating my children were around my ex's new partner and given a report was being produced, it would be prudent to check the individuals past. CAFCASS agreed however did speak with the Ex as it was later found out that she had not disclosed the new relationship and in statements where he was involved, he was only referred to as a friend. As a result, CAFCASS spoke with the ex's new partner and advised a background check would be completed. No criminal record was found, the ex was angry at me for raising but I personally was concerned, I knew about his past and I wasn't entirely comfortable with him around my children so I stood by my actions. I ultimately was awarded "lives with both parents" and 50/50 arrangement.

 

[Kev19]

When I started this thread back in April it was in relation to my ex new partner not being able to see his son due to his anger issues, and he is still living with my daughter, however there is not a lot I can do about it , and I haven’t seen my daughter for 5 months. It just appears so wrong that my ex is fine with this but she is not happy for me to have access and I haven’t seen done nothing wrong.
Today I found out he has now been fined for being in charge of a motor vehicle while being over the limit.
Is this something that can be mentioned in court? My ex accuses me of turning to drink even though I’m tea total.

 

[Ash]

Do you have evidence of this? It's a difficult one as he is not part of proceedings - it's deemed that your ex can decide who the kids are safe to live with. He might not have had the kids in the car when he was done for drink driving - as in - he might only have done it during an adult evening.

 

[Kev19]

Hi Ash, the conviction was posted on social media by the local press in the court weekly round up section. The incident was at night and my daughter would not have been in the car.
My concern and frustration is, he is a liability due to his anger issues and being over the limit in charge of a vehicle. Whereas I have no police record or safeguarding concerns, but my ex can stop me seeing our daughter and her own judgment in my eyes is misplaced.
We fathers have to jump through so many hoops and our ex partners double standards never get questioned.

 

[Ash]

It is indeed very frustrating - but it might make you look bad if you criticise her partner - it could come across as jealousy and not trusting your ex's choices.

 

[Kev19]

Thank you Ash, as always good advice.