Child Arrangements Hearing Advice

[bubblevisor]

Hi guys. I have my child arrangements court order hearing at the end of July. I don't know what to expect and can do with some advice.

I applied to the court as I have been unable to get reasonable access to my 2 year old son despite being named on the birth certificate. Currently my time with him is limited to half-a-day per week despite multiple requests since his birth. My ex is uncommunicative and has been excluding me from all aspects of my son's life. Despite my efforts she has refused to produce a parenting plan.

Here is what I would like the court to order:

1. Increase my time from half a day per week to between 40:60 to 50:50. I would like to slowly increase to this time over a 6months period led by the child.
2. Ensure equal parental status on all important decision making.
3. Agree and put in place a parenting plan based on equal status.
4. Equal contribution to transport.
5. Reasonable communication.

I believe her defence will be the following:

1. I have had limited time with my son and am not therefore capable as a parent.
2. I have an eye condition (caused by lasik) that led me to be off work sick long term (2 years). Therefore I am not fit and able for childcare.
3. I have not spent time with my son alone and only with grandparents present. Therefore I require ongoing supervision.
4. I have not contributed sufficiently to child maintenance. I pay £200per month as I have no income. She argues I have savings.
5. She is on universal credit and does not work therefore she should not be required to drive/transport my son.
6. She claims I am harassing her with my emails. (Even though I am very careful with my comms). Therefore should not be ordered to communicate with me.

Here are my questions:

1. Does asking for less than 50:50 put my case in a weaker position? I am uncertain how I or my son will react to increasing my time and don't want to force things with no flexibility.
2. Can I ask the court to order her to make a parenting plan with me?
3. Will the court be able to order equal contribution to transport even though she claims she cannot afford it. By the way I have already offered, in writing, to cover her transport costs (45p per mile).
4. Can the court order her to communicate with me regarding parenting?
5. Can the court order her to facilitate equal status for decision making, eg nurseries and schools?

I really appreciate any help and advice. Thanks!!

 

[Roblox]

Hi mate

I'll answer some points and the rest I'm sure others can answer

2. Have you put a draft parenting plan together. It may be best to share your plan and ask her / send to her before court so if she doesn't respond you have a proposal to show court.

3. Your only real obligation from the financial side is to pay child maintenance. From what you are saying it appears you are offering to pay maintenance even though strictly speaking you wouldn't have to under cms?

Or have arrangements always been informal in this regard.

4. She'd need to have a very strong argument to stop communication. The old 'harassment 'trick won't work unless she has emails which give clear proof of you harassing her.

But the issue is even if ordered this is one of those things that's difficult to enforce.

You may be better to limit contact to the important stuff regarding your son.

5. If you're on the birth certificate you have parental responsibility and the same rights as your ex when it comes to big decisions.

The more day to day decisions you can't practically do much about but certainly the bigger ones should be agreed between parents. The issue can sometimes be enforcement. Even with an order. But certainly something to flag in court.

On point 1 assuming you're not after 50/50 the order will say something like lives with Mom and spends time with Dad. I'll leave it to others to explain the intricacies as I have kids at weekends so don't really know all the ins and outs of something approaching 50/50.

Finally are you taking legal advice anf will your ex be getting professional legal support

 

[Ash]

Hi - saw your post last night but it was a bit late . Just following on from Roblox sound info and advice -

You say you've put an application into court. What did you ask for in an order specifically? On the form it asks you on the first page, what you're applying for. In that box it should say "Child Arrangements order" - but it's usually best to be more specific there and have something like "Child Arrangements order for the children to live with both parents on a 60/40 basis" Or Child Arrangements order for the Children to spend time with me 40% of the time.

Or whatever. I'm guessing you've asked for what you put above - that you want an order for the children to spend between 40 and 50% of the time with you. Is that right?

The reason I mention it is - because it's hard to ask for more than you have originally asked for in the initial application. So it's always best to ask for more than you want (gives you room to negotiate down later).

But all is not lost. If you've been vague about the time, you can be more specific in a position statement or final statement.

If you haven't mentioned "lives with both parents" (what used to be called joint or shared residency) then Cafcass will automatically assume the child lives with the Mother (what used to be called "residency") and you're applying for "spends time with" (what used to be called "contact").

Anyway as you say, it's the amount of time that's important - the only real difference between "lives with both" and "lives with Mother, spends time with Father" - is that the "resident" parent can take the child abroad on holiday without needing consent from anyone. Whereas the parent the child "spends time with" needs the Mother's consent (which can often be a tricky area if she won't agree). If she doesn't agree then it means a specific issues application to court to get the holiday ordered.

The only other difference is psychological. You are both equal parents if you both have PR - technically. But the parent the child lives with is also classed as "the parent with care" and they can sometimes use the parent with care card to pull rank - with schools and so on - or just in their attitude generally.

So another reason "lives with both parents" is good is it basically puts you on a more equal footing psychologically - even if it's not 50/50 or equal time. Because neither needs consent to take the child abroad on holiday and you are both "the parent with care".

The standard order a court would make is for child to spend every other week-end, one midweek night and half the school holidays with you. Your ex would look bad if she tried to use disability as a reason not to be an adequate parent.

If she argues about child maintenance: a couple of things. Child maintenance doesn't come into child arrangements - it's a separate issue. Having said that - if she complains about you not paying it, Cafcass might take her complaints seriously. I wouldn't worry too much about that though as Cafcass will speak to both parents (phone interviews) and you can explain that you're not working and you pay what you can afford which is £200 a month. However, to be on the safe side I think you should ask CMS for an assessment. It can work out better than waiting until the ex asks them to investigate you!

And then you have a solid argument to knock her claims on the head, and sound info to give to Cafcass - eg - I pay as assessed by the CMS.

I did that. My ex was forever trying to blackmail me for more CM. So I asked CMS for an assessment - which showed I should be paying less.

If you're not working - they will assess the figures from your tax return (they can do everything online instantly by checking with tax office records). And base it on your income as assessed for tax. It might only be £7 a week or so. Now normally I don't think they ask you about savings. But if your ex says to them "he has a load of capital stashed away" then they might want to look into that.

Some of that will depend on how much you have in savings. I believe it's a similar figure to that allowed when people are on benefits - eg if you have less than 16k you're ok. But it might be higher than that for CMs calculations. I am going back a long way here, and it might have changed, but under the CSA I was told you're allowed to have up to 60k in savings before they consider it.

Now if you've just sold a house and have a huge chunk of equity in a savings account that could be tricky. so you might need to work out some finances before things go much further. Eg buy another house!


But basically - without going through all your questions individually

1) check how much CMS you need to pay - have you used the CMS calculator? That figure isn't always correct but gives a ballpark figure. Do you receive any disability benefits? That might automatically make you exempt if your income is low as well. Depends on how much savings you have. But basically - get it formalised so she can't use CMS payments as an argument.

2) Most of the other things you mentioned don't apply if you've applied to court. You're asking for a court order so would have no need of a parenting plan. If you haven't got a court order then a parenting plan is a good idea. She wouldn't do one so you applied to court so you get an order instead. Which is better than a parenting plan. An order can specify as much or as little as you want. For example you can ask for "recitals" in the order (these are general things which are not exactly ordered but seen to be agreed to and need to be followed). Examples are:

The parents will communicate by email or text regarding any arrangements for the child. In case of emergencies or short notice, this will be by phone call.

That kind of thing


But basically a lot of what you mention will happen automatically once you have a court order. Because you have equal parental responsibility so you have equal rights to dealings with schools and doctors etc. You don't need her to give you permission - you just do it yourself - you just write individually to the school/GP introduce yourself, ask for your details to be kept on file - send a copy of the order to prove parental responsibility and ask to be kept informed. With schools it can be more specific like ask to be sent copies of all school reports, letters to parents etc.

There are two sample letter templates under "legal resources" at the top.

But right now I would focus on your court application.

So - generally you can't have "lives with both parents" unless it's at least a third of the time. That would usually be 5 nights a fortnight. It doesn't have to be 50/50. If you didn't ask for "lives with both parents" or 50/50 in your application then you'll probably get an order for "spends time with". But don't worry - if it's still a well worded order it should be fine.

The golden rules are

1) Don't say anything negative about the ex
2) Keep everything child focused.


My advice is - starting thinking as if you're the only parent. You're not just someone to have visits with your own child - you're a parent who is responsible for a child and wants to be involved in their upbringing. And it's not about how much time you should have with the child, it's about how much time the child should have with you. If you think along those lines you can proceed with more confidence. Why wouldn't you want to be fully involved with parenting your child? Why shouldn't your child have healthy happy relationships with both parents?

When putting things in writing - Cafcass don't like phrases like "my time" or "my rights" - everything needs to be child focused. So you'd say you believe it's in the child's best interests to have regular and significant time with both parents, and a regular stable schedule, so they can enjoy healthy happy relationships with both parents and extended families, and have continuity, certainty and stability of relationships.

We often feel lesser or underconfident when the Mother is dictating everything and treating you as unnecessary or inadequate. So start thinking confident. I'm the Dad - my kid needs me too.

Sound calm and confident in all your dealings with the court - written or otherwise. That gives an impression.

Regarding parenting plans - the court sometimes ask both parents to submit a parenting plan before the first hearing (you each submit your own version of what you'd want a parenting plan to be which is somewhat ridiculous but gives the Judge an idea of where you're both coming from and which one looks the most reasonable). But these days I believe it's less common - with video hearings and gatekeeping hearings and parents sometimes being asked to submit a short statement instead of a parenting plan. You'll have to wait and see what the court papers ask for.

Have you actually submitted your application to court yet? If not - hold fire and we can look at the wording. If you have then wait to see when the hearing date is and what the court papers ask for meanwhile.

The next thing that will happen is you'll get an email or letter from Cafcass. They ask you to confirm your details then send you another one with an appointment date/time for a telephone interview. This is one of the most important parts of the whole process. What you say - come on here to discuss before you have your interview. Also do not miss that appointment! If you're not available when they call, they can write their report solely based on what the Mother says! It's usual that you don't get a second chance or alternative appointment. They are very busy.

 

[Ash]

So process is

Application to court

Receive court papers telling you what's happening/when the hearing date is

Email from Cafcass

Phone interview with Cafcass

Receive Cafcass report after phone interviews - this will contain recommendations to the court about what happens next. At that point you'll have an idea where things are going and what kind of order you're likely to get. Cafcass have a lot of sway.


The positives - from what you've said, your ex isn't making any nasty allegations - she's just being a pain and witholding time. So there should be no welfare issues. When there are no welfare issues the court will make an order and the least you should get is every other week-end, one midweek night and half the school holidays. Because it's the child's right to have regular and significant time with both parents.

Yes it can be an idea to ask for a gradual increase of time - but - your child already knows you so that could just be something like

From half a day a week:

Every saturday from 10am to 5pm for 2 weeks
Saturday 10am to Sunday 10am for 2 weeks
Saturday 10am to Sunday 4pm for 2 weeks
Saturday 10 am to Sunday 4pm and every wednesday night from 4pm to 9am Thursday - for 3 weeks

Then a full schedule of every other week-end and a midweek night from 3pm Friday (or whatever time) through to 6pm Sunday and every Wednesday night. You could then say that by the time child is 3 the week-ends should progress to 9am Monday morning.

Personally I'd ask for two midweek overnights. Two midweek overnights and every other week-end for 3 nights is 50/50. It's a 2-2-5-5 schedule.

So you'd be asking for 50/50 shared care, lives with both parents on a 2-2-5-5 basis, with a gradually increasing schedule over 3 months, to 6 nights a fortnight and 7 nights a fortnight when child turns 3.


Sorry that wasn't more concise - you asked a lot of questions!

 

[Ash]

Just checking re your eye condition? Are you registered blind or partially sighted? Presumably you are used to living as an independent disabled adult. It could help to pre-empt any argument she might make that you're "not safe" by getting someone - your GP perhaps - to write you a letter saying specifically what your condition is - what level of vision you have and how you live perfectly well indepently and do xyz activities every week (tell them what hobbies, sports or whatever you do normally). And that your disability does not prevent you from being a safe parent.

You'd need to write to your GP asking them to write you a letter "to whom it may concern" and say you need the following information in the letter:

1) Your diagnosis
2) How much vision you have
3) That his doesn't prevent your safe independent living.
4) That this doesn't preclude you from being a safe parent
5) That your condition doesn't prevent you from playing football, studying at night class etc etc - all of which activities you regularly achieve.

If it prevents you from driving then get them to put that it doesn't prevent you travelling on public transport.

Does it prevent you from driving? Sometimes partially sighted people are allowed to drive with extra equipment etc.

As regards your ex sharing transport. This very much depends on the court. If it was a 50/50 shared care order it would be assumed you would share transport unless one parent states otherwise. If she won't agree to share transport and says she can't afford it, they probably won't order her to.

If it's lives with Mother and spends time with Father - this is like the old residency and contact situation. The resident parent "makes the child available" and the parent with contact has to collect them and drop them off. Unless they agree otherwise. However you could have a neutral changeover place like nursery. So for example you could ask for all collections and drop offs for you, to be directly to and from nursery and the only drop offs at ex's house be on a Sunday night etc.

They can't make her communicate. But a well defined order would mean there would be very little need for communication and some things you can sort yourself indepently (schools and GP etc).

You can also have "parallel parenting" if she refuses to coparent completely - which is basically as above - both parents follow the arrangements in the order to the letter and no need to communicate unless there's an emergency eg

 

[bubblevisor]

Hi Roblox and Ash, Thanks so much for your comments and advice. I wan't expecting this level of help. Very reassuring to hear from people with experience and knowledge. I'm so glad I posted here!

You guys mentioned a lot of points. Let me try and fill in the gaps/questions you raised.

Court application status/details:

• Mediation has already been completed and failed at the first session.
• My hearing is via video conference.
• The stated reason on the C100 court application from me can be summarised by the below (let me know if its better to paste in the verbatim):
  • Father spending only 6hours each sunday with child and wishes to increase to equal time.
  • Father signed off work due to ongoing eye health issue but this does not cause inability to provide care.
  • Father wants parenting plan
  • Father wants shared care arrangement
  • Father wants handovers/transport shared
  • Father wants communications improved
  • Father wants involvement with important decisions eg. school.
• In response, the Mother subsequently submitted a C1A "allegations of harm/domestic violence". Her C1A can be summarised by the below:
  • Form had no mention of domestic violence/abuse or abduction but she used section4 ("other concerns") to highlight I have eye health issues, and that I am inexperienced with children.
• Mother also then submitted her own C100 court application. The reason submitted can be summarised by the below:
  • Mother wants framework around the contact arrangements as communication has broken down.
  • Mother has concerns about father's ability to provide care due to his lack of experience and eye health issues.
• CAFFCASS has contacted me but only to check details. No letter or interview despite court hearing in less than 2 weeks time.

Regarding My eye health Issue:

• Although the impact on quality of life is significant, my vision is sufficient to legally drive and does not create any safety issues in my view. I can produce eye test results to prove this. I am not registered blind or receiving any disability benefits.

One overarching question for me is I am unsure what time split would be best/workable both for me and my child. Although I aspire to 50/50 it may be too much. Particularly when factoring in work commitments. But, from what I understand, so long as my child lives with me at least 1/3 time and qualifies as "lives with both parents" then both parents have equal status? If true then it may be the best setup and not progress up to 50/50. However, is there another pitfall to consider that is; its better to ask for 50/50 and gaining the court order but then to later choose to do less? Or are you then committed to 50/50?

With regards to sharing transport. She was a full time teacher up until recently but chose to quit and claim benefits. I don't want to sound petty but she bought an £8k car with cash in 2020 and drives daily. When the child attended nursery she drove there to drop and collect. If she claims she cannot afford to transport the child is there anything I can do? If push comes to shove, I am prepared to cover her costs, eg 45p per mile. But I would be keen to have her contribute to handovers.

 

[Ash]

So your ex doesn't have much of a leg to stand on there. You have parental responsibility and are named on the birth certificate. Assume you weren't married? How long have you been separated?

The only thing that concerns me right now is that you haven't had a Cafcass telephone interview. How long is it since you had the letter/email to check your details? Do you know if ex has had a Cafcass call yet (silly question, no communication and she's unlikely to tell you).

Not much you can do - they are very hard to get hold of and don't reply to emails! Is this hearing in two weeks a gatekeeping hearing, or an FHDRA where both parties are present (via video link). Have you had any hearings already? Gatekeeping or otherwise?

I think I would do your best to try and contact Cafcass. Google the local Cafcass office and phone them. And say you have a hearing in two weeks and haven't had an appointment for a telephone interview yet and can they advise if or when this is going to happen?

Actually no - email that first, then phone them. So you have it in writing if they later say "Father wasn't available" (this could help at a later stage if Cafcass report isn't favourable to you). To email them you have to sign into that awful Egress thing, find one that they've send you and do "reply" to it. Alternatively, if you phone them, you could ask them for an email address and email it there.

If you send an email via Egress, then screenshot it before hitting send - so you have evidence of having sent it. I am not sure if you can access the sent copy when it's gone, in that system. If you can, then print out the sent email with the date and time stamp marked. That's proof it was sent.

 

[Ash]

One thing to be aware of is "conflict between parents". Cafcass use that as a reason to leave the child with the Mother to avoid the conflict affecting the child. So advice is usually - always present yourself, on paper and in person, as the calm, focused reasonable one, who wants to co parent (ie the one who is putting the kids interests first). So never criticize her or slag her off on paper or to cafcass or you'll get labelled as "possibly aggressive".

You'll have opportunity to come across in that way at the video hearing. What do the court papers say? About the upcoming hearing? Do they ask for anything - like a parenting plan? What you should do, about a week before the hearing, is send a position statement. This is just a side or side an a half of A4 in double line spacing - not that long. You're allowed to do that for every hearing. It's basically what it says - it updates "the position" - ie anything that has happened since you applied to court or anything you wish to say that is relevant for the hearing, or anything you want to ask for (like an interim order - if you didn't ask for one in your application).

So in this situation, if you don't end up having an interview with Cafcass in the next week, you can say so in your position statement, and also put anything you want the court to know, that you would have told Cafcass! You can fight your corner that way (fight isn't perhaps the right word though as the tone of a position statement should be calm, measured, and factual).

We can help you write one on here.

 

[Ash]

Just to add - your ex is claiming welfare issues - so the court will have to consider whether there are any or not. I can't give an opinion on what approach to take without knowing a bit of the history.

Eg were you married, how long have you been separated, what was agreed regarding you seeing child at the time of separation? Has time been reduced or is that all she'd agree to? How long were you together? Were you fully involved before separation - eg getting up in the night, changing nappies, feeding etc? When did the accident happen? Before or after you separated? Have there been any "incidents" or social services involved?

One thing though - if she's been letting you see the child, unsupervised for half an hour a week and hasn't stopped you seeing the child then she has no real argument for welfare issues. If she thought there were then she'd be classed as "failing to protect" the child by allowing the time. As she has been allowing the time that basically says - no welfare issues - she deemed it was safe.

No doubt she will say limited time is one thing but overnight or all week-end .........blah blah.

A suggestion - one thing some Dads do, with a very young child, that shows they are proactive about proving they're a great hands on Dad - is a short childcare course. You can do some of them online and it might only be a day or two or a few hours for a week or something. Check that out - I'd do one asap, this week, then put that in your position statement! It's all positive to show - there are no issues - and it counteracts her statement that you don't know anything about children! Which is frankly, sexist. Neither does she, if it's her first child.

In terms of what to ask for. Your child is over two so no reason not to have a full schedule. What you want to be asking for definitely, in a position statement, if you haven't done so in your application, is an interim order - for the current time to continue. You won't get more than that for an interim order, but it means she has to keep allowing it.

For a final order. Yes it's best to ask for 50/50 - then have time to think - you can negotiate down from that as part of the court process along the way. Always best to ask for more than you want. Having said that, if you don't think you can manage it - ask for what will work for you and explain why (eg work commitments etc).

As an example. 50/50 would usually be a 2-2-5-5 schedule. What that means is - your child would be with you the same two consecutive midweek nights every week, and also every other week-end from Friday through to Monday.

So if it was every Monday and Tuesday night with you, then it would be

Monday Tuesday with you - then Friday, Saturday, Sunday Monday Tuesday nights. Then back to the following Monday Tuesday again.

So you always have the same two midweek overnights. But when it's your week-end time with your child, the two midweek nights are tacked onto the end of it (ie 5 nights). It would be the same for ex only she would have Wednesday Thursday nights every week and her five days would be wednesday to Monday morning on alternate weeks.

It's a good schedule because there is never longer than 5 days away from either parent. So that is 7 nights out of 14. And you still get a free week-end and five days without childcare every fortnight.

Now if you went for say 6 nights out of 14 - a bit less. The schedule would be the same but you'd only get one midweek night on alternate weeks.

So it could be Monday night, then Friday, Sat Sunday Monday, Tuesday - but then you don't see child again till the following Monday - so there's a 6 night gap - almost a week - which is a long time to go.

Likewise if you had a more standard every other week-end and one midweek night (5 nights a fortnight). That would just be every other week-end from Friday through to Monday morning, and the same midweek night each week- usually wednesday.

Again you'd go 6 days one week without seeing your child - which is a long gap.

So if you can do two consecutive midweek nights, then it would be good to go for 50/50.

However, your child is not at school and your're working midweek presumably. So unless child goes to nursery during the day, it could be tricky to do 50/50. And it wouldn't be counted as a full 50/50 (with CMS) if child is with Mother during the days and only with you for the overnights after work.

What I would suggest is proposing something tailored to increase both now and for the future when child starts school (probably in two years time - they start the September after they turn 4, in reception year).

So I would focus on the shared care, yes. Can't suggest any other options for schedules without knowing details of your work and if child is in nursery.

 

[bubblevisor]

Just a quick reply.
I have just emailed CAFCASS via EGRESS and also their website message facility. The egress email I have is [email protected] which I'm not confident will reach the right person but used it anyways. I will try calling them tomorrow too. My solicitor did mention to me a while ago that CAFCASS is very busy these days and do leave things until the last minute before the hearing.

My hearing at the end of the month is the "first hearing" and is via video call with both parties. I have not had any gatekeeping hearings or anything so far.

Also, to answer your question, I was not married to her and we separated when my child was 4months old.
I'll digest what you have said and reply properly tomorrow. Thanks again for all the great advice!

 

[Ash]

Yeah they probably won't see it then. I tried that once. Phoning probably best - and ask them for an email address as well.

Your solicitor may be right as Cafcass are busy - but most people seem to be getting their Cafcass appointments and reports in time for a hearing. The appointment date seems to follow fairly soon after confirming details. Although summer holidays coming up (always leads to loads of applications over holidays) so they might be particularly busy. How long since you replied confirming details?

 

[bubblevisor]

I just got off the phone to my CAFCASS case handler. I was very useful speaking to her. They seem very reasonable.

To my surprise, when I said I was expecting an interview, she said that she did not need anything more interview-wise from me. That said, we went on to speak a fair bit and she asked a bunch of questions.

She mentioned she had since spoken with my ex and there was an issue/concern coming from her side. These were about my medical condition as well as depression affecting my ability to provide care. She also claimed that I refused to provide her with an update/explanation regarding this concern. I mentioned to the CAFCASS lady that I have already explained to her that it does not affect my ability to provide care. I have this documented in my emails. I also suggested I submit to the court an optometrists' report to indicate my level of vision (within driving standard). The CAFCASS lady said this would be useful and said she will add it to her report letter.

I also mentioned that I had a parenting plan proposal already created. CAFCASS said it would be good to submit that too.

So in summary CAFCASS said they have already filed the "report" and now will now issue a "letter" in the next couple days. Presumably I respond to that letter with my parenting plan and optometrist report? Or should I go ahead and send that to the court? Ash, you mentioned I should submit a position statement. Would this statement be made visible to my ex prior to the hearing? Are there examples I can find to follow? I would be glad to post it up to get pointers from you guys.

 

[Ash]

Hi. That sounds strange. You haven't has an interview but they said they didn't need anything "more" from you interview-wise? And they've already done the letter. I wonder if your discussion will be included in their letter.

It does sound like they've only spoken to the Mother and don their report based on that. I've heard of that before.

Next thing is you wait for the Cafcass "letter". Which might be an update. If the report has already been done, why didn't they send you a copy?

You might or might not get it before the hearing. This is very bad form. It sounds like they have listened to what the Mother says, written their report and sent it to court without even having a phone interview with you. Make a diary note about that and what the woman said today. Before you forget.

No you only send to the court what's asked for in court papers. If the court papers for the hearing date ask for a parenting plan then you send one. Cafcass letters aren't really the type to reply to - they're "information".

So the next thing will be your position statement which I'd send in to the court at least a week before the hearing. In that you can explain that you were not contacted for a Cafcass Interview, that you enquired about this and were told they didn't need to speak to you and the report had already been done, but they then spoke to you briefly and said they would do an additional letter. That the only thing you had a received from Cafcass was an email asking to confirm your identity.

You also explain your situation as it currently is. And some of the things you've said on here. Mention your eye assessments, driving assessment and anything else positive you have. Mention any hands on care you did before separation and how Mrs Ex has been happy to have you spend half an hour a week with child but you feel it is not enough time for the bond to continue to be kept up and develop and feel there is no reason not to spend more time with child, other than Mother doesn't agree. Don't say anything bad about her or accuse her of anything. Say you want both parents to co parent amicably if at all possible, in child's best interests ongoing and - well anything else about the situation you want the court to know (that makes you sound like a safe normal Dad!). At the end you ask the court to make an interim order so the current time continues as before, and request that matters progress as quickly as possible so you can present evidence at a final hearing, as your daughter is growing up throughout this time.

 

[bubblevisor]

Thanks for the quick response Ash. I had a look back at my notes on the first CAFCASS call. It was a short series of questions checking for safeguarding risks and then confirming my address/contact info. It took about 5minutes. I hadn't realised at the time but I guess that was my "interview".

The CAFCASS lady said she'll be emailing the letter/report to everyone in the next couple days. I slightly suspecting she had forgotten everything (probably including the report) and now is in catch-up mode. Who knows, but I'm hoping to get it this week. From the way she described, it seemed like once the letter has been issued it will pave the way for me to send in the additional items she suggested sending in; namely parenting plan and optometrist report. However she also mentioned that I would be required to "file a statement/proposal". Would this be the "position statement" that you mentioned? - I'm getting a little confused, there are 4 items that have been mentioned:

1. Position statement - I'll start preparing this now and post back here for feedback.
2. Parenting plan - I already have this but unsure if I should go ahead and send in or wait until instructed/requested
3. "statement/proposal of desired child arrangement" - Is this the same as position statement?
4. Optometrist test report - Again I already have this but unsure if I should go ahead and send in or wait until instructed/requested

Looking again at the court papers there is nothing I am asked to provide. I'll try calling the courts tomorrow to check. I have to say I don't have much confidence the courts are organised at all. Believe it or not, I was sent someone else's Notice of Hearing and Court application in place of my documents!

 

[Ash]

Proposal of desired child arrangement can be part of the position statement. You can't submit any other evidence at this stage unless the court asks you to. So if Cafcass report says Father to produce Optometrist report then you can submit it. But what you can do is say in your position statement - I have an Optometrist report/medical evidence/ GP letter or whatever, saying I am fit to drive, fit to parent etc etc and can produce these if required. The fact you've said you can produce these if necessary makes it sound believable and authentic. Parenting plan - you don't need unless they ask for it - because you're submitting a proposal of the detail you want in a child arrangements order (which is better than a parenting plan).

 

[Kyle]

You're not alone! My telephone interview with Cafcass was over in minutes as well. I was initially expecting a home visit with a proper grilling and panicked over every little detail of my home to make a good impression just to have a 5 minute phone chat about my life, my son, my expectations and the exes allegations and that was it.

They never sent me their Safeguarding Report until yesterday despite my FHDRA being two weeks ago and I had to push for it to be sent via Egress and the Cafcass website. At least the court received it and it it put me in good stead. I have now had the chance to read my exes BS and the recommendation of the Cafcass officer to the court which is all very positive for me.

I cannot do anything now until I receive the court letter setting out the directions for the next hearing. It's all frustratingly slow. Both me and the ex have to file a statement with proposals for the future arrangements of my son if we cannot reach an agreement so I would guess this is a position statement.

I spent hours and hours composing one for my first hearing and It wasn't even mentioned in court. But It might be worth resubmitting for the second hearing.

Court Case Progression Officers and Family Section Administrators and other Clerks of the Family Court are up to their eyeballs in cases. Certainly in my region. We have a failed system where there are no consequences for wasting the courts time with malicious falsehoods, so it's a CAO free for all right now with dads in the same boat as us left, right and centre.

 

[Ash]

That's ridiculous not getting a safeguarding report until after FHDRA. From what I'm hearing of peoples' cases recently, the courts seem to have scrapped asking parents to submit a parenting plan and ask for these statements of proposals as well (which is probably better than a parenting plan which set out the same thing but was a fiasco when each parent submitted a totally different parenting plan!).

If the court ask you to submit a statement of proposals, it's not exactly a position statement because they've called it a statement. And limited it to proposals. While you can add proposals for child arrangements in a position statement, you can also do more - update the position, make the odd argument. So in your case Kyle, I think you would do both. Submit the statement the court have asked for, with proposals for Child Arrangements, and then just before the hearing submit a position statement (which you can do for any hearing). Which basically updates the position since the previous hearing and gives the opportunity to ask for things (like an interim order) or make the odd argument or ask for something to be done etc.

When you say you did one for the first hearing, do you mean a statement like they've asked for now or a position statement? Whichever, don't just resubmit the same one - even if not mentioned, it will be on file to refer to.

They system is hugely overloaded. But Cafcass leaving Dad's call as a last minute afterthought is not new (or even not calling him at all) - particularly if the ex has made allegations. I had a horrible Cafcass call once - out of the blue, no prior appointment - I was in a noisy crowded place, the woman was aggressive and rude, asked me questions then interrupted me when I tried to answer. Wrote quite a good report but she'd clearly been manipulated by my ex who had made some allegations just to muddy the waters (it was me who had submitted allegations in an application). So they didn't know what was what.

 

[bubblevisor]

HI guys, THis is what I have written so far on my position statement. By the way, I also received the CAFCASS report/letter today. I'll post a summary.

POSITION STATEMENT FOR FHDRA:

I am the applicant father of child two year old child xxx. The respondent xxx is my child’s mother.



My contact with my child is limited to 6hours on Sundays. All negotiations pertaining to furthering my relationship with my child has been met with resistance. Mother is unwilling to produce a parenting plan. Despite her resistance mediation did occur but failed early without any agreement. The Mother expressed during mediation for her preference for “no communication whatsoever unless there is an emergency”.

Mother continues to have a severely limiting and detrimental effect on the child’s relationship with his father.

Additionally, mother refuses to contribute to handovers requiring father to provide all handover transport.

Therefore, I am left with no choice but to file this application to obtain a child arrangements order to facilitate the following:

• An increase in my contact time to equal shared care.
• Produce an agreed and adhered to parenting plan based on equal status. (please reference my parenting plan proposal submission)
• Ensure a reasonable level of necessary communication for parenting for the benefit of the child.
• Ensure cooperation and equal contribution to transport and handovers.
• Ensure equal status and involvement on all important decision making, eg. education, medical and childcare.

Mother made a number of false and misleading statements in her C1A submission. These allegations include:

• “Father moved away to Devon in July 2020”. – Response: My home has always been Hampshire.
• “Father has always been supervised during his contact time”. – Response: Family members often attend contact sessions but do not supervise me.
• “Father has been unable to have more contact time due to damaged eyes”. – Response: I have been able and keen to increase contact time since early 2021.
• “Father refuses to put child to sleep for routine afternoon nap”. – Response: I have taken every effort to facilitate the child’s sleep and provided commentary on the barrier. But due to the departure time of 13.45 this has proven impossible. Mother is aware of the issue but ignored requests to alter departure time. I have resorted to providing sleep in-car whilst travelling back to Mother.

Mother has made a further false allegation apparent in her CAFCASS interview report 14/06/22. Her allegation is as follows:

From CAFCASS report: “She has tried to ask Mr xxx where he is up to with his health and how it impacts on his care of child, however he refuses to update her”.

– Response: On each occasion Mother has expressed this health-related safeguarding concern I have provided prompt answers. I have described my condition and explained repeatedly that it does not affect my ability to provide childcare. This occurred during mediation 10/01/22 and via email 01/04/21.

 

[bubblevisor]

Here is the Cafcass letter/report:

A telephone interview was undertaken with Ms xxx on 14th June, she shared the following information: • She has no safeguarding concerns about Mr xxx’s care of child, however, has been reluctant to increase the time child spends with his father due to a health issue suffered by Mr xxx. Mr xxx had laser eye surgery which caused him health issues and lots of pain, he has been off work for nearly 2 years because of this and she is aware that his mother and sister go and support him when he cares for child due to the pain he is in. She has tried to ask Mr xxx where he is up to with his health and how it impacts on his care of child, however he refuses to update her. She is concerned about Mr xxx having more care of Child if he needs this level of support from his family.

A telephone interview was undertaken with Mr xxx on 19th July, he shared the following information: • He doesn’t have any concerns regarding Ms xxx’s care of child. He did suffer adverse side effects when he had laser eye surgery, he had a lot of pain and the recovery has been slow; however, this was a long time ago and it does not impact on his care of child. His mother moved in with him initially as he had lots of health appointments and due to her own health needs, it was convenient for them both if she remained living with him. His mother is not there to supervise him although she does support him as would be expected given she lives with him. He still gets some pain, however, this is more like a dull headache, he has told Ms xxx this and is unsure how else to reassure her, however, is happy to get a report from his optometrist to clarify that his health would not impact his ability to care for child.

Analysis of issues arising from safeguarding or risk identification Safeguarding is complete.
Child is clearly a very loved who has an ongoing relationship with both of his parents. There is no evidence that child’s needs are not being met when in the care of either parent. Ms xxx and Mr xxx have been unable to agree on the ongoing arrangements in relation to the time child spends with his father, it is important that as child grows and develops he sees his parents effectively communicating in order to meet his needs. In circumstances where parents are unable to communicate, it is more likely to result in hostility which could be emotionally harmful to child. Ms xxx would like some reassurance around Mr xxx’s current health and the impact this may have on his care of child and I would anticipate, having spoken to both parents that once this is provided an agreement will be able to be reached which is conducive to promoting child’s relationship with both of his parents.

Advice to the court:
• Both parents to file statements outlining their proposals for contact arrangements and rationale around this. • Mr xxx has agreed to file a short letter from his optometrist which clarifies his current health status and whether this would affect his day to day life and/or care of child • Mr xxx has also advised that he has completed a parenting plan and therefore it would be helpful for this to be submitted so that it can be considered by Ms xxx with a view to reaching a compromise.
• Both parents to attend the Separated Parents Information Programme (SPIP) which will support both parents’ understanding of what it feels like for child to live with separated parents and the importance of communication.

 

[Ash]

Wow. You did well getting to speak to that Cafcass officer. That is very positive. No safeguarding issues. No reason not to have a full order. Position statement could do with a bit of rewording in my view, but nearly there . If you want, I can have a go and message you with it. Some bits sound too criticial of the Mother but it just needs tweaking.

I would suggest getting that letter from the Optometrist and emailing it to the court before the hearing. If you can. Otherwise it could cause delays. In that at the hearing they will say - wait till the next hearing and produce the Optometrist letter before then.

I think asking for a parenting plan repeatedly "might" confuse the issue of an order. What you want is a Child Arrangements Order, not a parenting plan. You want something legal. That is enforceable. That can be tweaked in the position statement as well. Also in the position statement you need to set out exactly what you want ordered. I would minimise the mention of parenting plan as being agreements over various matters such as communication (these can be dealt with in an order as well, as "recitals" so you still don't need a parenting plan. Basically you've gone beyond parenting plan level because you've applied for a court order.

The biggest danger is being vague and not specific. Because then you come out with something vague that isn't a proper court order. My first order was like that and turned out to only order residency for the Mother with everything else just "agreed" . It was a disaster and I ended up having to go back to court a year later for a better worded order.

There are cases where, if one parent doesn't want to communicate, you can do "parallel parenting" - it keeps things amicable by the lack of communication but the order needs to be clearly defined so minimal communication is needed except in emergencies. You're basically then free to parent how you choose, in your own time. Separated parents are allowed to have different parenting styles.