Chat about....Recovery

[MagicJ]

I was thinking about life after CAO.

We are always unable to move on and fully out of survival Mode until the sealed order is in hand and weve protected our childrens futures.

In the intervening period, we take a big knock on our confidence, we undergo physical changes, we are effectively in flux like a silk worm undergoing it's metamorphosis into a butterfly.

Even with the counselling and support systems in place though, we have to take ourselves forward to live new life experiences against which we can emerge.

For those who are on the other side and began to move forward, what are the top tips for post CAO trauma recovery!

 

[Ash]

It took me a couple of months to feel normal again afterwards. It can almost leave you in an adrenaline state of wanting to keep fighting in court when it's over! Bizarre as that sounds. The whole thing is bizarre - you've been in this strange tense world full of anxiety and uncertainty for months, a year or more. And then the day after the final hearing. Ok life is back to normal again. You can't just switch back like that. So it's just one day at a time and then things get back to normal. Although sometimes you're faced with breaches straight after a final hearing, before you get the sealed court order in your hand! (They're not enforceable until the order is sealed). So that is something to be prepared for. An ex's last fling.

 

[MagicJ]

We build bonds through shared experiences & we build character by experiencing situations on our own.

What positive situations of life have you or any member been through post trauma that has helped the healing process e.go and volunteer or go bungee jump or go play sports!

 

[Ash]

Nothing like that - just had to get on with daily life and walks, trying to remember what projects were going on before it all started. Going out for walks and going places to clear head as the house seemed full of the legal stuff somehow - it had invaded home life.

 

[MagicJ]

Trust is a big thing but also boundaries and building new friendships and social circles, how did all that fare afterwards?

 

[Ash]

I had good friends thankfully. Social circle was the same. But I didn't have the divorce - we never lived together. Just the child arrangements. Having said that I didn't tell them about the legal stuff - partly it was private, partly, even good friends just don't understand half of it.