Chances of 50/50 for 10 month old

[Carlos1234]

Hi anyone giving me advice would really be greatful. Final hearing in August this year. My son is going to be 10 and a half months at the time of the hearing. Ex claims he is still breastfed and I know she will still say that at the final hearing. I have interim contact now but not overnight this was agreed at first hearing (not my choice to have no overnight but went with what ex wanted) what are my chances of getting 50/50 shared care at final hearing? Is my son too young

Has anyone got 50/50 for their baby or toddler?

Ex works very few hours to say she can provide round clock care she only done this to try stopping me get 50/50

 

[Ash]

Hi. Are you self repping? How often do you see him at the moment? It's a shame they couldn't agree to overnights at the first hearing and you ask for expressed milk - a barrister might have pushed for that. Technically they can allow for breast feeding up to the age of 2 but these days there have been cases where people have argued the Mother can provide expressed breast milk.

I would advise using a direct access barrister for the final hearing, to try and get the best order possible, and get it written up properly so there are no loopholes. What you'd need to ask for in a final order, would need setting out carefully, as a progression to a full 50/50. I don't know whether you'd get it or not, but a good direct access barrister would get you the best order possible.

So for example, if you were seeing your son twice a week for two hours now, you could ask for progression to be:

Two hours midweek and a half day on Saturdays until age 1 year.
Two hours midweek and Saturday 1pm to Sunday 1pm until age 18 months (with Mother providing expressed milk if necessary)
Two hours midweek and Saturday 10am to Sunday 6pm until age 2 years (with Mother providing expressed milk if necessary)
1 midweek overnight and Saturday 10am to Sunday 6pm for the following four months (ie 2 years and 4 months).
1 midweek overnight and Friday 3pm to Sunday 6pm until age 3
1 midweek overnight and Friday 3pm to Monday 9am for the following 6 months (ie until age 3.5 years)
2 consecutive midweek nights and Friday 3pm to Monday 9am as a final order, plus half the school holidays when child starts school age 4.

The last line is 50/50

 

[Ash]

@Carlos1234 I've just merged your two threads as they were virtually the same, and changed the title to cover the topic

There was one guy who did get 50/50 for his baby. Part of his argument was he had already brought up a child before, but he was also very proactive and took his bottle sterilising kit to court and demonstrated he was capable.

 

[Carlos1234]

Hi. Are you self repping? How often do you see him at the moment? It's a shame they couldn't agree to overnights at the first hearing and you ask for expressed milk - a barrister might have pushed for that. Technically they can allow for breast feeding up to the age of 2 but these days there have been cases where people have argued the Mother can provide expressed breast milk.

I would advise using a direct access barrister for the final hearing, to try and get the best order possible, and get it written up properly so there are no loopholes. What you'd need to ask for in a final order, would need setting out carefully, as a progression to a full 50/50. I don't know whether you'd get it or not, but a good direct access barrister would get you the best order possible.

So for example, if you were seeing your son twice a week for two hours now, you could ask for progression to be:

Two hours midweek and a half day on Saturdays until age 1 year.
Two hours midweek and Saturday 1pm to Sunday 1pm until age 18 months (with Mother providing expressed milk if necessary)
Two hours midweek and Saturday 10am to Sunday 6pm until age 2 years (with Mother providing expressed milk if necessary)
1 midweek overnight and Saturday 10am to Sunday 6pm for the following four months (ie 2 years and 4 months).
1 midweek overnight and Friday 3pm to Sunday 6pm until age 3
1 midweek overnight and Friday 3pm to Monday 9am for the following 6 months (ie until age 3.5 years)
2 consecutive midweek nights and Friday 3pm to Monday 9am as a final order, plus half the school holidays when child starts school age 4.

The last line is 50/50

Hi thanks for replying mate really fond of the work you do on this page it’s relief to read other peoples experiences and know I’m not alone.

That sounds pretty fair proposal to suggest to court at final hearing I have a solicitor she’s pretty knowledgeable with a decent amount of experience might look into barrister though. With your suggestion re the weekend contact is that every weekend or every other? Not sure the ex would be too happy if I had him every weekend until he was 4. Would love it myself but can’t see it going down well. I might just ask got nothing to loose. A lot of people telling me it’s very hard to get 50/50 for such a young child and we have a lot of animosity me and the ex communication between us is non existent think she doesn’t want to try and get on with me hoping it would prevent 50/50

 

[Ash]

Ah good point! I missed that bit out. It's every week-end until 18 months then every other week-end after that (plus the midweek nights) so it should say:

Two hours midweek and a half day on Saturdays until age 1 year.
Two hours midweek and Saturday 1pm to Sunday 1pm until age 18 months (with Mother providing expressed milk if necessary)
Two hours midweek twice a week and alternate week-ends Saturday 10am to Sunday 6pm until age 2 years (with Mother providing expressed milk if necessary)
1 midweek overnight and alternate week-ends Saturday 10am to Sunday 6pm for the following four months (ie 2 years and 4 months).
1 midweek overnight and alternate week-ends Friday 3pm to Sunday 6pm until age 3
1 midweek overnight and alternate week-ends Friday 3pm to Monday 9am for the following 6 months (ie until age 3.5 years)
2 consecutive midweek nights and alternate week-ends Friday 3pm to Monday 9am as a final order, plus half the school holidays when child starts school age 4.

 

[Carlos1234]

Thank you very much will put that forward sounds very reasonable. Can I ask do you think if there’s a lot of conflict between me and the ex chances of 50/50 are slim

 

[Ash]

You need to show that the conflict is one sided - on her part. By sounding child focused and saying things like you wish to co parent amicably and propose a co parenting app to assist with communication and you have no animosity towards Mrs Ex and hope matters can be agreed at the first hearing.

You can send a position statement just before the hearing with that kind of thing and your proposals. I am happy to help with that if you want. You email it to court a few days before the hearing but not to your ex. On the day of the hearing you take 3 copies with you. One you give to your ex on arrival, one to keep for yourself and one to hand to the clerk to give to the Judge just in case he hasn’t seen it already.