CAFCASS officer (phone call)

[Ash]

Understood - it's an anxious time. You are worrying about her accusing you of something before the final hearing, but you've had good tips above. Write minimal stuff in the handover book and photograph what you've written and record the Christmas video call. Meanwhile keep your head down and try not to worry. Once you've got your final order you're in a stronger position.

 

[bbl]

Well I have refused and waiting to confirm whether this is in the interim contact order as I don't believe this was agreed. If it is I will take the advise what's said, thank you

 

[Pj66]

Here is my take. Based largely on how my ex's barrister handled her case against me.

The allegations they spoke to you about may or may not feature in the report. If they do not, I'd be inclined to leave well enough alone. If they do, in the hearing you can deny ever having done as she alleged and offer to provide evidence if it would assist the court. You do not need to say what the evidence would be. This way the court will make a decision on whether or not it is important. If these allegations are gonna be decisive, they will invite evidence. If they are not gonna be a big factor, they'll just leave it aside.

I imagine you may have a non-mol or an undertaking from the fact you are not meant to know where your ex lives. I was dressed up as harassing my ex and breaching my undertaking left, right, and centre. I had it recently for walking along the road that our handover location is on. They accused me of breaching an undertaking that no longer exists! They will attempt to make it look like you are a threat in any way possible. Whatever you do, something will be thrown into the mix. Don't expect it to make sense and don't let it put you off track. This stuff is there as a diversion. It is not what your case is about. So, I suggest you do not get pulled into it unless the court deems it to have merit.

EDIT
Who knows, this might even fall in your favour. Perhaps Cafcass will see through your ex and report they are not concerned. Or even, that they are concerned your ex may be creating issues.

i thought the burden of proof was on the one making the allegation? why not just deny?

 

[Resolute]

i thought the burden of proof was on the one making the allegation? why not just deny?

Good point PJ

Here is my reasoning.

Deny is the main part of what I suggested. The burden of proof is on the person making allegations. But, it is not that heavy a burden. These things can turn on little more than who comes across as believable.

Three potential factors made me think something more than glib denial might be appropriate:

1) The possibility that this would be coming from Cafcass, rather than directly from the ex.
2) The risk of being seen as calling the child a liar and dismissing their report.
3) A circumstance where the court indicates that the allegation(s) will be given weight.

Underlying this was my suggestions to "leave well enough alone" if appropriate, and not to provide evidence unless and until absolutely necessary.

Please take what I say with a pinch of salt if you see things differently. I am no authority.

 

[BrainDad]

Hello all,

I received a phone from the CAFCASS officer today. Putting forward false allegations saying that my so has said I have asked him where she lives and driving around the local area which is completely untrue.

I explained to her I have got a camera on the car and also have the location on phone on at all times due to this and I do not know where she lives.

Can I ask any advise you could offer as this is constantly at every opportunity and I feel like I can't protect myself and worry it will impact my case.

Here's how it goes:

Does she have any evidence of that?

If they don't drop it:

There's evidence to the contrary.

If they still don't drop it:

I want to focus on doing what's best for my child, I will let my lawyer deal with all that and the evidence.

What else you got?

 

[bbl]

Hello is it possible to receive some advice for final statement for shared care please?

 

[Ash]

I think we need to do a separate guide on this as so many people ask this question. It will take some time to put together.

The main thing is that your statement is your evidence. So everything you say in it needs to be 100% accurate and truthful. The other side will do their best to try and find contradictions or prove you’ve lied or been economical with the truth. If in doubt about saying something, leave it out.

Also anything you state needs to be backed up with evidence or it’s just he said/she said and not actually evidence.

So texts, email conversations, letters from professionals etc.

It depends how many pages the statement is limited to as to whether you have headings or not but it needs to be in double line spacing, 12 point simple font and reasonable margins. 1.5 spacing absolute minimum if needed.

It also needs to be child focused and not directly criticising the ex - although some of your evidence may conveniently do that for you by showing her up.

 

[bbl]

As far as I am aware it's just a submission statement and there is no cross examination. I mainly feel that she will try and keep the interim contact order that's in place at the moment and argue it's beneficial rather than shared care even though it was recommended by CAFCASS and my son also requesting increased time.I mainly want some advise on wording on why shared care is beneficial to put in my submission statement and also my son has also told CAFCASS for further over night stays. I know she's going to try fight it to the very end.

 

[MagicJ]

hey @bbl , how are you getting on?

 

[bbl]

Hello Magic, I have the final hearing on 25th Jan with CAFCASS recommending share cared so hopefully all will go well. Any advise you could offer would be valuable as I want to add some points in to the position statement to why shared care would beneficial.

 

[MagicJ]

Okay, not long to go.

You say PS, if it's a FH you should have been submitting a Witness Statement?

 

[MagicJ]

Not even sure what that is! Submissions are usually things you want to say to the court, so maybe similar to a position statement. It does sound like the final hearing is going ahead without witness statements and evidence then. However there was another case like this and his ex still sent in a full statement and evidence and he was a bit disadvantaged by it. This is sometimes the downside to using a solicitor is you don't get to see the court paperwork - although presumably she would send you a copy if you asked. If your ex did do that I guess you could ask for it to be disregarded as not ordered. Maybe they will be following the Cafcass report mainly. But I would not be happy having a final hearing without someone making a case and arguing my side of things to get the best order possible. So I'd still suggest a direct access barrister. Alternatively you could keep the solicitor and get them to instruct a barrister of your choice (but then you'd be paying for both). One advantage of a direct access barrister is - they write up the order. If you have a solicitor and barrister, the solicitor writes up the order - and in my experience they can make mistakes or get into arguments with the other side about wording for weeks. Whereas a barrister's draft order is usually beyond question.

Hey,

So had a quick read back, did you keep the Solicitor or deinstruct them?

Have you got a Barrister coming, either DAB or otherwise?

As Ash states it feels odd that you're not submitting Evidenced Witness Statements, if you don't have an order copy from last hearing, can you get it from the Solicitor?

 

[bbl]

Hey,

So had a quick read back, did you keep the Solicitor or deinstruct them?

Have you got a Barrister coming, either DAB or otherwise?

As Ash states it feels odd that you're not submitting Evidenced Witness Statements, if you don't have an order copy from last hearing, can you get it from the Solicitor?

Hello,

I have kept the solicitor, the final statement is by way of submission from each solicitor, likely half a day. I have a copy of the order from the last hearing.

 

[Peanut 21]

CAFCASS recommending share cared

Great news

 

[Ash]

Hello Magic, I have the final hearing on 25th Jan with CAFCASS recommending share cared so hopefully all will go well. Any advise you could offer would be valuable as I want to add some points in to the position statement to why shared care would beneficial.

To make the case for shared care, strong points are the existing lifestyle your child has with you at your home (if there is one) - eg it has been his/her other home for x years and he sees it as home and has established routines and friends in the area etc, loves his/her bedroom and his favourite pictures on the wall etc. How you enjoy doing xyz togther when he/she is with you (sorry I haven't read back and can't remember if it's girl or boy or more than one!). Whether that is going to a sport class at week-ends that is established or just a thing you like doing together. And that he feels stable with both homes and seeing both parents regularly.

Other things are - if you have any evidence that shows ex doesn't value your role in child's life - eg texts or emails where she is unreasonably obstructive, or, as mine, did, is abusive in texts or emails and says child likes me more than you blah blah. Now although it's still advisable not to be negative about the ex in a final statement, you don't have to be = the messages can do it for you. And you could say something like.

I feel shared care is particularly important so child is aware both parents are equally important and so both parents are fully aware that each is important to child. To date it has been extremely difficult making arrangements with Mrs Ex and I feel a shared care order will help co parenting, with less communication needed and avoid child feeling caught in the middle (see exhibit a).

Exhibit a could be some obstructive or foul messages from your ex, showing her up for what she is and her attitude. Anything that shows her attitude is good.

 

[bbl]

Hello all, I have put my final submission statement in for court today and also read my exs. The thing that concerns me is that she is trying to bring up the undertaking and still saying false allegations and I am worried this may not go in my favour even though the CAFCASS have recommended shared care.

 

[Ash]

Did she attach any evidence backing up her allegations? Assume not - as she won't have any. Therefore she has submitted a statement full of mudslinging and that is in your favour If yours is child focused and hers is full of mud slinging I think the Judge will prefer yours.

 

[Peanut 21]

Ultimately the courts are looking for resolution between parties with the childrens best interests at the core of it.
If your statement is looking for solutions and hers is still focused on her opinions and feelings, yours will look better.

 

[bbl]

Hello all, to let you know it was the final hearing today and I have been given shared care of my son. I wanted to say thank you very much for the support and the advise as there were many times I didn't no where to turn. With your support I will be to give my son the best life I possibly can in every way, so thank you from us both really

 

[MagicJ]

Wow @bbl that's fantastic news, congratulations to you and well done for persevering

What time schedule did you get?

if you get a chance can you tell us how the day went, just a high level.

Welcome to the next stage of your life