so, we had our final hearing and final order not even 2 month ago, since then, things have become crazy to say the least. During court proceedings, i had a lot of help from people on her which im forever grateful for. After court had finished, my plan was to just try and enjoy life away from court, the ex and everything my life had been for over a year whilst going through court, I just wanted to try and get on with life and enjoy the time i had been awarded with my kids, the ex however had other ideas as i knew she would, i just didnt expect it to be so soon after court.
Our order was that our daughter was to live with me but our son was to live with ex which i wasnt happy with but had to accept. The order also stated that we were to communicate via a parenting app, the ex chose to use Appclose, she sent me a link and i followed the instructions, downloaded the app and tried to connect with her on the app. Apparently this link was meant to link us together but it didnt, it just prompted me to download, which i did, i then tried to send her a link from my end to link with me which she claims she didnt receive, i sent her evidence of my invitation sent to her which she denied receiving. Anyway, as i had tried this link a few times, i decided to give up with it. 3 weeks after final hearing i had to contact her via email about the children, she replied to my message telling me that she was giving me the 12 weeks notice that she wanted to take the children on holiday and asked my permission to take our daughter, I agreed after speaking with daughter but she said that she didnt want her, or new partner, drinking on the holiday, shes court ordered not to drink around my daughter or even have alcohol in her home while shes there. So we had a conversation via a few emails, she asked me again to set up the app as she didnt want direct contact with me so i tried again and again it failed to link us, i explained this again and was basically called a liar and she told me that the link did work as she had sent it to 2 other people and it worked fine. Later that night i get a phone call from a police man saying that theyd had a complaint that id contacted her direct and she wasnt happy about it, he said he had seen the emails and said there was nothing wrong in what i had said and agreed that it was just a conversation about the children. I explained the problems i had with the app and he said that she had agreed to try different apps and that he would send her a list of others. He asked me not to contact her again just to keep the peace and i agreed. 2 weeks later i receive a whatsapp message from her at 4.30 in the morning with another link to same app, she has had to unblock me on whatsapp to send this, i tried again but again it didnt link us. I didnt reply this time.
I had agreed with her that my daughter could spend the night of our sons birthday with her and our son so he had someone there with him to share his day with as, due to court order, i wasnt allowed to see my son on his birthday. Daughter came back the next day quite upset, Mother had decided to take children to her partners pub for the night instead of staying at her house, both mother and partner were drinking which she is ordered not to do so daughter had been upset by this as it was the first time she had stayed overnight with her in a year and she chose to drink around her. She reminded mother that she wasnt supposed to be drinking and she was told that it only applied at her house and that because mother had told the court that she wouldnt drink around her that she could change her mind and didnt have to abide by it. Daughter didnt push it as she knows she can be quite abusive with her especially when drinking.
3 weeks ago i suffered a heart attack and was taken into hospital, my Mother and adult children were helping with taking care of my daughter doing school run etc while i was in. I got 1 of my older children to take daughter to her mothers address for her usual weekly visit with her mother. Within an hour of her being there she was on the phone to me crying and scared. Mother had somehow found out that id had a heart attack, I believe she used a friend who works in hospital to access my records, i didnt tell the kids so not to worry them, she took it upon herself to tell kids that id had a heart attack and it was due to me being a cocaine addict, im not. She had told daughter that me leaving my mother and adult children looking after her was illegal and that both social services and a solicitor had told her this and that she was not to let my daughter go home to my mother as she doesnt have parental responsibility for her and that she would not be taking her home while i wasnt there. This scared my daughter as she isnt meant to stay overnight with mother and she told me to ring the police as she wanted to go home to my mother. I rang the police who told me they would attend mothers address to speak to her. They rang me from outside of mothers house after speaking to mother and daughter and said they had also contacted ss to find out what should happen in this case, they were advised that as i am resident parent and that daughter had confirmed she wanted to go home then that is what she has to do,mother apparently got quite abrupt with the police telling them it was illegal for me to leave my daughter with anyone who doesnt have PR etc. She had text my mother saying the same thing earlier in the day aswell. She brought her home at the ordered time and i ranf my mother to speak with daughter who said as a punishment mother had confiscated her phone so that shwe couldnt contact me whilst with her, Cafcass had advised my daughter to do this if she was ever uncomfortable while with mother, Thay also assured her that mother was not allowed to keep her and had to take her home at the ordered times as daughter was afraid of this as thats what mother had done to our son at the beginning off court, we didnt see him for 2 months. So now daughter has lost trust in what Cafcass had assured her of as mother had done both things she was told not to do. Daughter was meant to go back to mother next day but was nervous about it after what had happened the previous day but she agreed to go as she wanted to see if mother would give her phone back as she uses it a lot to keep in touch with her friends while shes not at school as most kids do. Anyway, she came back and said that mother refused to giver her the phone and had spent the day bad mouthing me and telling the kids that ive had a heart attack due to being a drug addict, that i was stalking mother and continually harassing her, that i still want to take her back as im still upset about the break up etc etc etc. All of which is complete and utter lies and is being said to try and turn the kids against me.
Aswell as the weekend visits, its ordered that daughter spends 3 hours after school with mother on a wednesday night and i have our son from school overnight, this is the only time mother and i are in the play ground together as school let me pick my daughter up from reception to stop any conflict that might happen. So i went to get pour son and daughter ran up to me and ask3d me to tell mother that she wasnt going as she didnt feel safe with her anymore and that she was sick of her lying to her all the time and making empty promises to her, Mother, who had turned up with her Father, she usually goes alone, heard this and at that point both mother and her Father grabbed my daughter, mother by the arm and her father by the hood on her coat and started to try and drag my daughter with them shouting that they didnt care what she wanted and that it was court ordered and she was going with them, at this point i went towards them as my daughter was screaming but the Dad let go of my daughter and came towards me and smacked me in the face with his shoulder, i pushed him away and told him to keep his hands off me at this point he came right up to my face and was telling me not to forget that he knew where i lived etc, mother was still trying to drag my daughter away but she fought back, by now quite a few parents and teachers had seen what was happening so mother released my daughter and shouted to her dad to leave it and she could stay with me shouting at me to go and have another f***ing heart attack across the school as she walked away. This was terrifying for both of us and of course my little boy was upset at seeing this aswell so when we got home i called police to report it. Police came out next day and said they would hve to speak with them etc so it is still ongoing. In the meantime my daughter refused to go to her mother this weekend, understandably, but it was my weekend with my son who i usually pick up from school on friday. friday afternoon i recieve an email from mother saying son was poorly and that he was to be picked up from her dads house who had just assaulted me, this is what the usual school holiday handover is so didnt anticipate any further issues with her dad as they dont usually come out of the house, i just toot outside and son comes out to me. This time i pull up to see all of the blinds closed in the house which was unusual but i tooted and waited as normal, nothing, no son came out so i tooted again and again but nothing, I sat there 45 mins waiting and had emailed her to say i was there, but no reply, so i assumed she wasnt going to send him and was being clever so i drove away, she knows i take the kids to see my family at weekends who live 30 mile away so by the time i got there she had sent an email asking where i was as son was waiting for me, she knew i was there as i told her and i tooted as usual which is never normally ignored, so i had to tell her that i would come back down for him which i did but i know this was done out of malice, she even said that if we had the app set up then this wouldnt have happened, she is obsessed with us having this app and even used it as an excuse for not having her visit with our daughter 1 weekend as she got confused with the dates which she claimed would not have happened if we had this app set up even though the dates are clearly set out in our order and very easily checked.
There are other bits to the story but thats the main things, now my daughter will not go to her mothers, and our son is being left at her dads house quite often now so she can spend the night at partners home or if he stays with them he is forced to watch horror films and is left alone while they "sit in the bedroom all night" or if theyre not together she sits in the kitchen on the phone to him for hours again leaving him on his own, he is very unhappy now more than he was before this new guy showed up and has told my daughter that he doesnt like being with his mother now.
So sorry for the long post and thank you if you took the time to read it all. My questions now are what do i do? Do i have to apply back to court regarding daughters contact with mother or is that her job? Can i ask to vary the order so she doesnt have to go as often or at all even or have supervised visits? Can i re apply to have our son come live with me and his sister as he wants and always did? Any advice would be great and thanks again for reading
Our order was that our daughter was to live with me but our son was to live with ex which i wasnt happy with but had to accept. The order also stated that we were to communicate via a parenting app, the ex chose to use Appclose, she sent me a link and i followed the instructions, downloaded the app and tried to connect with her on the app. Apparently this link was meant to link us together but it didnt, it just prompted me to download, which i did, i then tried to send her a link from my end to link with me which she claims she didnt receive, i sent her evidence of my invitation sent to her which she denied receiving. Anyway, as i had tried this link a few times, i decided to give up with it. 3 weeks after final hearing i had to contact her via email about the children, she replied to my message telling me that she was giving me the 12 weeks notice that she wanted to take the children on holiday and asked my permission to take our daughter, I agreed after speaking with daughter but she said that she didnt want her, or new partner, drinking on the holiday, shes court ordered not to drink around my daughter or even have alcohol in her home while shes there. So we had a conversation via a few emails, she asked me again to set up the app as she didnt want direct contact with me so i tried again and again it failed to link us, i explained this again and was basically called a liar and she told me that the link did work as she had sent it to 2 other people and it worked fine. Later that night i get a phone call from a police man saying that theyd had a complaint that id contacted her direct and she wasnt happy about it, he said he had seen the emails and said there was nothing wrong in what i had said and agreed that it was just a conversation about the children. I explained the problems i had with the app and he said that she had agreed to try different apps and that he would send her a list of others. He asked me not to contact her again just to keep the peace and i agreed. 2 weeks later i receive a whatsapp message from her at 4.30 in the morning with another link to same app, she has had to unblock me on whatsapp to send this, i tried again but again it didnt link us. I didnt reply this time.
I had agreed with her that my daughter could spend the night of our sons birthday with her and our son so he had someone there with him to share his day with as, due to court order, i wasnt allowed to see my son on his birthday. Daughter came back the next day quite upset, Mother had decided to take children to her partners pub for the night instead of staying at her house, both mother and partner were drinking which she is ordered not to do so daughter had been upset by this as it was the first time she had stayed overnight with her in a year and she chose to drink around her. She reminded mother that she wasnt supposed to be drinking and she was told that it only applied at her house and that because mother had told the court that she wouldnt drink around her that she could change her mind and didnt have to abide by it. Daughter didnt push it as she knows she can be quite abusive with her especially when drinking.
3 weeks ago i suffered a heart attack and was taken into hospital, my Mother and adult children were helping with taking care of my daughter doing school run etc while i was in. I got 1 of my older children to take daughter to her mothers address for her usual weekly visit with her mother. Within an hour of her being there she was on the phone to me crying and scared. Mother had somehow found out that id had a heart attack, I believe she used a friend who works in hospital to access my records, i didnt tell the kids so not to worry them, she took it upon herself to tell kids that id had a heart attack and it was due to me being a cocaine addict, im not. She had told daughter that me leaving my mother and adult children looking after her was illegal and that both social services and a solicitor had told her this and that she was not to let my daughter go home to my mother as she doesnt have parental responsibility for her and that she would not be taking her home while i wasnt there. This scared my daughter as she isnt meant to stay overnight with mother and she told me to ring the police as she wanted to go home to my mother. I rang the police who told me they would attend mothers address to speak to her. They rang me from outside of mothers house after speaking to mother and daughter and said they had also contacted ss to find out what should happen in this case, they were advised that as i am resident parent and that daughter had confirmed she wanted to go home then that is what she has to do,mother apparently got quite abrupt with the police telling them it was illegal for me to leave my daughter with anyone who doesnt have PR etc. She had text my mother saying the same thing earlier in the day aswell. She brought her home at the ordered time and i ranf my mother to speak with daughter who said as a punishment mother had confiscated her phone so that shwe couldnt contact me whilst with her, Cafcass had advised my daughter to do this if she was ever uncomfortable while with mother, Thay also assured her that mother was not allowed to keep her and had to take her home at the ordered times as daughter was afraid of this as thats what mother had done to our son at the beginning off court, we didnt see him for 2 months. So now daughter has lost trust in what Cafcass had assured her of as mother had done both things she was told not to do. Daughter was meant to go back to mother next day but was nervous about it after what had happened the previous day but she agreed to go as she wanted to see if mother would give her phone back as she uses it a lot to keep in touch with her friends while shes not at school as most kids do. Anyway, she came back and said that mother refused to giver her the phone and had spent the day bad mouthing me and telling the kids that ive had a heart attack due to being a drug addict, that i was stalking mother and continually harassing her, that i still want to take her back as im still upset about the break up etc etc etc. All of which is complete and utter lies and is being said to try and turn the kids against me.
Aswell as the weekend visits, its ordered that daughter spends 3 hours after school with mother on a wednesday night and i have our son from school overnight, this is the only time mother and i are in the play ground together as school let me pick my daughter up from reception to stop any conflict that might happen. So i went to get pour son and daughter ran up to me and ask3d me to tell mother that she wasnt going as she didnt feel safe with her anymore and that she was sick of her lying to her all the time and making empty promises to her, Mother, who had turned up with her Father, she usually goes alone, heard this and at that point both mother and her Father grabbed my daughter, mother by the arm and her father by the hood on her coat and started to try and drag my daughter with them shouting that they didnt care what she wanted and that it was court ordered and she was going with them, at this point i went towards them as my daughter was screaming but the Dad let go of my daughter and came towards me and smacked me in the face with his shoulder, i pushed him away and told him to keep his hands off me at this point he came right up to my face and was telling me not to forget that he knew where i lived etc, mother was still trying to drag my daughter away but she fought back, by now quite a few parents and teachers had seen what was happening so mother released my daughter and shouted to her dad to leave it and she could stay with me shouting at me to go and have another f***ing heart attack across the school as she walked away. This was terrifying for both of us and of course my little boy was upset at seeing this aswell so when we got home i called police to report it. Police came out next day and said they would hve to speak with them etc so it is still ongoing. In the meantime my daughter refused to go to her mother this weekend, understandably, but it was my weekend with my son who i usually pick up from school on friday. friday afternoon i recieve an email from mother saying son was poorly and that he was to be picked up from her dads house who had just assaulted me, this is what the usual school holiday handover is so didnt anticipate any further issues with her dad as they dont usually come out of the house, i just toot outside and son comes out to me. This time i pull up to see all of the blinds closed in the house which was unusual but i tooted and waited as normal, nothing, no son came out so i tooted again and again but nothing, I sat there 45 mins waiting and had emailed her to say i was there, but no reply, so i assumed she wasnt going to send him and was being clever so i drove away, she knows i take the kids to see my family at weekends who live 30 mile away so by the time i got there she had sent an email asking where i was as son was waiting for me, she knew i was there as i told her and i tooted as usual which is never normally ignored, so i had to tell her that i would come back down for him which i did but i know this was done out of malice, she even said that if we had the app set up then this wouldnt have happened, she is obsessed with us having this app and even used it as an excuse for not having her visit with our daughter 1 weekend as she got confused with the dates which she claimed would not have happened if we had this app set up even though the dates are clearly set out in our order and very easily checked.
There are other bits to the story but thats the main things, now my daughter will not go to her mothers, and our son is being left at her dads house quite often now so she can spend the night at partners home or if he stays with them he is forced to watch horror films and is left alone while they "sit in the bedroom all night" or if theyre not together she sits in the kitchen on the phone to him for hours again leaving him on his own, he is very unhappy now more than he was before this new guy showed up and has told my daughter that he doesnt like being with his mother now.
So sorry for the long post and thank you if you took the time to read it all. My questions now are what do i do? Do i have to apply back to court regarding daughters contact with mother or is that her job? Can i ask to vary the order so she doesnt have to go as often or at all even or have supervised visits? Can i re apply to have our son come live with me and his sister as he wants and always did? Any advice would be great and thanks again for reading
