You're separated now, you can apply to court for an order. Having to see your child at ex house is increasing conflict - you should be able to see your child somewhere else, away from ex, even if not your home. If you live in a shared house you'd need to be able to show it was a safe environment. Up to date electricity checks etc and no-one else can access your daughter. Or take your daughter to someone's house - eg a parent?
It sounds like she will almost certainly make allegations against you. And you'll have to jump through some hoops to get a final order and wait for them to dismiss her allegations. I can understand your fear of that made you decide to report her. And perhaps that was the right thing to do - but ultimately the view will be - you're separated - you don't need to go near her. If you want to see your child SS will see that as a court issue.
There is a big danger here - if you make allegations about your ex (and she will almost certainly make some about you), Cafcass will treat it as "conflict between parents" which they consider harmful to the child. However much you want to be believed and justified, it is better to play the court application straight and keep to the mantra "I just want my child to have happy loving relationships with both parents".
How to get over things. Counselling could help. Sadly the way the family court system works, you don't get any sympathy or understanding - Cafcass believe Mothers are the most important thing to children - and Fathers should also be involved - if it's safe to do so. They will never take the child away from the ex and give them to you. Unless she actually gets arrested for child abuse or something. But they will consider it's not safe for a Father to be involved if there is "conflict between parents". So the way to get results is show that you are keen to co parent amicably and not bring up fights and abuse etc. Courts generally accept that with a break up there are arguments and hostilities. But if both sides accuse the other of abuse, it doesn't matter who is right - what matters to them is that it will cause conflict to the child. While that is true, the thinking can be slightly skewed. Because the irony is, a good court order in place can prevent conflict between parents. Minimal communication needed, both parents follow the order. If she doesn't you enforce it.
It can become a very long convoluted process with fact finds, Section 7's etc if you both make allegations.
Right now my suggestion is you try and get some counselling for support, and contact the Mankind Initiative who offer support to male victims of abuse and also some advice.
Also start mediation, get signed off and put your C100 in (I doubt mediation will work but you're expected to try it and having a MIAM - first appointment on your own - is a legal requirement). In your wording - keep it child focused and don't say anything negative about the ex - let that out on here instead.
It sounds like she will almost certainly make allegations against you. And you'll have to jump through some hoops to get a final order and wait for them to dismiss her allegations. I can understand your fear of that made you decide to report her. And perhaps that was the right thing to do - but ultimately the view will be - you're separated - you don't need to go near her. If you want to see your child SS will see that as a court issue.
There is a big danger here - if you make allegations about your ex (and she will almost certainly make some about you), Cafcass will treat it as "conflict between parents" which they consider harmful to the child. However much you want to be believed and justified, it is better to play the court application straight and keep to the mantra "I just want my child to have happy loving relationships with both parents".
How to get over things. Counselling could help. Sadly the way the family court system works, you don't get any sympathy or understanding - Cafcass believe Mothers are the most important thing to children - and Fathers should also be involved - if it's safe to do so. They will never take the child away from the ex and give them to you. Unless she actually gets arrested for child abuse or something. But they will consider it's not safe for a Father to be involved if there is "conflict between parents". So the way to get results is show that you are keen to co parent amicably and not bring up fights and abuse etc. Courts generally accept that with a break up there are arguments and hostilities. But if both sides accuse the other of abuse, it doesn't matter who is right - what matters to them is that it will cause conflict to the child. While that is true, the thinking can be slightly skewed. Because the irony is, a good court order in place can prevent conflict between parents. Minimal communication needed, both parents follow the order. If she doesn't you enforce it.
It can become a very long convoluted process with fact finds, Section 7's etc if you both make allegations.
Right now my suggestion is you try and get some counselling for support, and contact the Mankind Initiative who offer support to male victims of abuse and also some advice.
Also start mediation, get signed off and put your C100 in (I doubt mediation will work but you're expected to try it and having a MIAM - first appointment on your own - is a legal requirement). In your wording - keep it child focused and don't say anything negative about the ex - let that out on here instead.
