hi guys
I have already put this on the other thread but was asked by ash to put this on this one as well, and will be typing up everything that has happened in the past 2 years to put in a my story thread to hopefully help anyone that needs it
hi guys
first of all I must apologise to everyone here, I was on here around 6-9 months ago, but tailed off as to be honest all I was reading was how men was being victimised by the legal system and to be honest it wasn't helping my mental state, so took the hard decision to take myself of here but will be trying to get on here more often and share my story of what has happened,
in the past 6-9 months there has been a lot of highs and lows but things now are drawing to a close
so thought I would now share what has happened to hopefully help/inspire anyone who may feel like giving up or they may not get through the hardest part of their lives in fighting for the most important people in their lives.
like most people on here I have had to fight tooth and nail for my children and am coming out the other side and luckily for me I have had a final order for a 50/50 split for the children, I will try to give the update of what has happened since I have last been on here but am planing on within the next couple of weeks I will put everything that I have been through to try help anybody that may feel like they can't do this
id like to just give a brief outline of the timeline of what has happened in the past to years
as is nearly always the case after me and my ex decided to split up there was the usual arguments of who would have the kids/home and everything else, with my ex wanting everything and for me to walk away with nothing, so she decided to make the allegations of domestic abuse, so she would be entitled to all the help in the world, outlining everything that in fact she done to me but making it sound like it was me doing it to her, in the hope that I would just walk away, which I refused to do, as my daughter said for me to fight for her as she doesn't want to be with her mum, I refused to leave the property and have been holed up in here and to be honest that has mainly been the hardest thing
she took out a non mol order which was agreed with for a period of 6 weeks to give me time to fight my case and I successfully showed the court that she was lying and that was thrown out
she has tried to take out an occupational order against myself which I successfully fought and the court saw that she has been lying about the DV so sided with me
I then took out a child arrangement order
she then tried taking out a transfer of tenancy which was shelved due to the CAO not being sorted
so as I touched on my ex partner and I have been awarded a 50/50 split by the court which I know is fantastic and most men would bite anyones hand of for this, but in reality I do believe that this still isn't a fair reflection on what should be awarded, as my daughter of 12 as made out clear that she only wanted to reside with myself, but unfortunately the section 7 from CAFCASS has made that recommendation, so the court told me that is the way that things will go ahead with, even after my daughter has stated she doesn't want to be with her, the mother trying to manipulate the kids into not wanting to be with me, talking negatively about me and my family and a variety of other things, but I guess that's where my gender has really gone against me.
I want to add that I have had to self rep as I am a low earner so have had to be dedicated/disciplined in learning as much as I can about the system, and have had some legal advice along the way with a hour here and there from a solicitor, but have been in the incredible position of having some of the best friends and family to help me keep going
my hope for the future is that that my ex sorts herself out and starts to build a better relationship with the kids (which is what I want in my heart of hearts), but if it doesn't go that way then il be more than prepared to go back to court and fight for them to be with me full time
we only have one more court date left now which is to decide who will remain in the property, and to be honest I don't care who remains in the property as if ordered out I will be rehoused with suitable accommodation for me and my 2 girls and finally after 2 year I will be able to move on with my life.
if your still reading this I hope it does help in your thinking that as long as you are doing the right things by your children and trying your best for your kids then it will fall into place for you
I have already put this on the other thread but was asked by ash to put this on this one as well, and will be typing up everything that has happened in the past 2 years to put in a my story thread to hopefully help anyone that needs it
hi guys
first of all I must apologise to everyone here, I was on here around 6-9 months ago, but tailed off as to be honest all I was reading was how men was being victimised by the legal system and to be honest it wasn't helping my mental state, so took the hard decision to take myself of here but will be trying to get on here more often and share my story of what has happened,
in the past 6-9 months there has been a lot of highs and lows but things now are drawing to a close
so thought I would now share what has happened to hopefully help/inspire anyone who may feel like giving up or they may not get through the hardest part of their lives in fighting for the most important people in their lives.
like most people on here I have had to fight tooth and nail for my children and am coming out the other side and luckily for me I have had a final order for a 50/50 split for the children, I will try to give the update of what has happened since I have last been on here but am planing on within the next couple of weeks I will put everything that I have been through to try help anybody that may feel like they can't do this
id like to just give a brief outline of the timeline of what has happened in the past to years
as is nearly always the case after me and my ex decided to split up there was the usual arguments of who would have the kids/home and everything else, with my ex wanting everything and for me to walk away with nothing, so she decided to make the allegations of domestic abuse, so she would be entitled to all the help in the world, outlining everything that in fact she done to me but making it sound like it was me doing it to her, in the hope that I would just walk away, which I refused to do, as my daughter said for me to fight for her as she doesn't want to be with her mum, I refused to leave the property and have been holed up in here and to be honest that has mainly been the hardest thing
she took out a non mol order which was agreed with for a period of 6 weeks to give me time to fight my case and I successfully showed the court that she was lying and that was thrown out
she has tried to take out an occupational order against myself which I successfully fought and the court saw that she has been lying about the DV so sided with me
I then took out a child arrangement order
she then tried taking out a transfer of tenancy which was shelved due to the CAO not being sorted
so as I touched on my ex partner and I have been awarded a 50/50 split by the court which I know is fantastic and most men would bite anyones hand of for this, but in reality I do believe that this still isn't a fair reflection on what should be awarded, as my daughter of 12 as made out clear that she only wanted to reside with myself, but unfortunately the section 7 from CAFCASS has made that recommendation, so the court told me that is the way that things will go ahead with, even after my daughter has stated she doesn't want to be with her, the mother trying to manipulate the kids into not wanting to be with me, talking negatively about me and my family and a variety of other things, but I guess that's where my gender has really gone against me.
I want to add that I have had to self rep as I am a low earner so have had to be dedicated/disciplined in learning as much as I can about the system, and have had some legal advice along the way with a hour here and there from a solicitor, but have been in the incredible position of having some of the best friends and family to help me keep going
my hope for the future is that that my ex sorts herself out and starts to build a better relationship with the kids (which is what I want in my heart of hearts), but if it doesn't go that way then il be more than prepared to go back to court and fight for them to be with me full time
we only have one more court date left now which is to decide who will remain in the property, and to be honest I don't care who remains in the property as if ordered out I will be rehoused with suitable accommodation for me and my 2 girls and finally after 2 year I will be able to move on with my life.
if your still reading this I hope it does help in your thinking that as long as you are doing the right things by your children and trying your best for your kids then it will fall into place for you
It's ok that it's in two places on this occasion