I wanted to share an update on my recent experience in Family Court for a Dispute Resolution Appointment, in case it helps others going through a similar journey.
My first experience in Family Court was last year when I filed a C100 with a C1A. To be honest, at the time, I was just following instructions, and with everything else going on, it was all a blur. I have been representing myself as a Litigant in Person (LIP) from the start because my child is the most important person in my life, and I want to do this for them.
Fast forward many months, and thanks mainly to this site, I am a completely different person. The friendship, camaraderie, and knowledge shared here are, in my opinion, worth far more than the so-called “expertise” of solicitors and barristers, many of whom seem more focused on draining parents’ bank accounts than actually helping.
Out of respect for privacy, I won’t name those who have been my rock, but I genuinely can’t thank you enough.
We settled on:
Supervised contact in a contact centre to start—while I want more, this is a step forward and will allow positive reports to build.
Crossed Undertakings instead of a Non-Molestation Order—they wanted an NMO, but I pointed out that they had no evidence and that my STBXW also has a history of domestic abuse with the police. The judge agreed.
Mediation before a Fact-Finding Hearing—the judge wanted a form of mediation to determine which allegations are child-centred and relevant to Family Court. The barrister opposed this and pushed for a full Fact-Finding Hearing. The judge left it open, giving them 30 days to submit evidence, after which I will respond.
Now that I’ve seen her police and family court statements, a Fact-Finding Hearing is almost too tempting!
Because of all of you, I am one step closer to seeing my child. Without this group, I don’t think I would have had the knowledge or confidence to push back in the way I did.
Thank you to all of you—especially those who have supported me through this.
My first experience in Family Court was last year when I filed a C100 with a C1A. To be honest, at the time, I was just following instructions, and with everything else going on, it was all a blur. I have been representing myself as a Litigant in Person (LIP) from the start because my child is the most important person in my life, and I want to do this for them.
Fast forward many months, and thanks mainly to this site, I am a completely different person. The friendship, camaraderie, and knowledge shared here are, in my opinion, worth far more than the so-called “expertise” of solicitors and barristers, many of whom seem more focused on draining parents’ bank accounts than actually helping.
Out of respect for privacy, I won’t name those who have been my rock, but I genuinely can’t thank you enough.
The Court Hearing
This week, my STBXW (soon-to-be ex-wife) turned up to court with her barrister, funded by her parents. I think they expected to face the old version of me—but they were in for a surprise.Some of the tactics I had to deal with before the hearing:
- Claimed they hadn’t received the Cafcass safeguarding letter (they had—it contained concerns about me, so I sent a copy to the court and handed one to the judge’s assistant on the day). They continued claiming they hadn’t received it even during the hearing.
- Tried to get my position statement first before sending theirs. I refused, saying I would share mine when ready and would have copies on the day. They had to submit theirs before close of business.
- Left out key documents from the bundle, so I had to submit them on the day.
- Police disclosure issues—when I received the court index, disclosure had been requested from the police, but my ex’s side didn’t provide it. I had to chase it. Lesson learned: ask for disclosure early.
In the Courtroom
Before the hearing, her barrister came in to discuss matters. I was clear on my position, what I wanted, and where I would push back. I also insisted on seeing the final court order before it was sealed—last time, some key points weren’t recorded accurately.We settled on:
Supervised contact in a contact centre to start—while I want more, this is a step forward and will allow positive reports to build. Crossed Undertakings instead of a Non-Molestation Order—they wanted an NMO, but I pointed out that they had no evidence and that my STBXW also has a history of domestic abuse with the police. The judge agreed. Mediation before a Fact-Finding Hearing—the judge wanted a form of mediation to determine which allegations are child-centred and relevant to Family Court. The barrister opposed this and pushed for a full Fact-Finding Hearing. The judge left it open, giving them 30 days to submit evidence, after which I will respond.Now that I’ve seen her police and family court statements, a Fact-Finding Hearing is almost too tempting!
Final Thoughts
I walked into court so much more confident than before, and that’s entirely thanks to this group. Even small things—like insisting on crossed undertakings—were things I picked up from discussions here.Because of all of you, I am one step closer to seeing my child. Without this group, I don’t think I would have had the knowledge or confidence to push back in the way I did.
Thank you to all of you—especially those who have supported me through this.
