Wondering about my 50/50 chances

[Clockwork]

Hi, situation is I have applied to court to have 50/50 contact with my two kids 7 and 9. Currently I have 40%, every other weekend and one night each week. I am behind with my CMS to the tune of about £1k.
She is arguing that I don’t have the childrens best interest at heart, what are my chances guys ? Anyone have any experience ?
Thanks in advance

 

[StayStrong]

Welcome.

What's the reasoning for your CAO (apart from the obvious parental right?).

I can see (but don't necessarily agree) that Mum says you don't have the childrens' best interests at heart because you are in CMS arrears and so they are 'going without'.

Playing devil's advocate here. What's your reasoning?

Take care, SS.

 

[Clockwork]

Finances are not allowed to be included in any arguments regarding child access, so it seems an easy win.

 

[Ash]

Best not to use the word "contact" - especially if applying for 50/50! The terms now are "lives with" and "spends time with" - these replaced "residency" and "contact". If applying for 50/50 you'd be saying you want the children to "live with" both parents on a shared care basis.

How long has the current schedule been in place, and is it 5 nights a fortnight or 4 nights a fortnight? ie does it include the Sunday night at week-ends.

The issue could be - why change an existing schedule that is working well. If it's long established they're not likely to want to change the time - unless your ex has been causing trouble and keeping the kids away or cancelling arrangements unreasonably. You might get an extra night if you can argue how it would benefit things.

Child arrangements and finances are separate, it's true. Kind of. But Cafcass are also wise to anyone who just seems to be applying for 50/50 to get out of paying Child Maintenance. And some ex's will happily tell the court you're only doing it to get out of paying CMS and you're in arrears. So it could influence things and make them look at your reasoning. Is it child focused or is there another motivation.

To be frank I don't think you'll have much success as you have a good regular schedule. Depending on how established it is. If it's quite recent then you may have a chance. Having said that you could have an argument for getting the order as "lives with both parents" - ie shared care (what used to be called joint residency) even if you don't get 50/50. And if you don't currently have sunday nights you'd have a good chance of getting that extra night and possibly shared care as well.

The CMS arrears sounds like a pressure. Are they going to let you pay it in instalments on top of the current monthly amount?

 

[Clockwork]

Thanks for your feed back, the ongoing situation is 5 nights a fortnight, which has been going on for about 18 months and does include a Sunday night every other week end.
Can she use the financials to influence the result ?

 

[Ash]

Is that 5 nights a fortnight in a court order or informally agreed? The thing is there is always the "no order" principle whereby they say - no need for a further order - the current schedule is established and a good one for the children - why change anything?

If it's just informal at the moment, and there have been any disagreements about holiday weeks for example, you could say that you want the arrangements formalised in a court order and the holiday weeks defining as there've been disagreements and try for more time then - but I think it's a long shot as it's an established schedule.

What reason did you give in your application, for wanting more time?

Did you have mediation first? The positives are - at least your ex hasn't stopped the kids coming even if you're owing CM. Some Mums would do that and say - no CM, no kids.

 

[Clockwork]

Currently it’s informal, no court order.
She stole a night off me in the summer last year saying she pre booked it, she also organises the childrens social life when it is my watch.
My objection in the CO was was children said that they wish to spend more time with me and they did not want to go to school on some days. Leading to a J7 from the court.

She refused mediation, because the she said the mediator I suggested was not qualified, and it got signed up, another win.

Again any assistance is greatly appreciated,

 

[Ash]

What's a J7? . Ok so you have reasons to apply for a Child Arrangements order - to formalise things and to have defined dates and stability and certainty for the children and an argument for shared care, to be clear that it's your responsibility to take the kids to and from activities on your days. And at the same time try for 50/50.

A couple of tips though - to be successful you have to sound like you are keen to be amicable and co parent (even if it's impossible) and not say anything negative about the ex - so stating facts - this happened - but not anything personally negative about her.

And - also to be aware that they will consider childrens activities are a priority - so for example if they have clubs after school - I would just accept that - but if it's on your time, you still pick them up from school and take them to the club - as opposed to your ex just sending them to you late and her taking them to the club. But you can also say one week - sorry you'll have to miss club this week (eg if there's a special occasion on the same day).

What the courts don't like seeing is a war over "my time". They like child focused arguments. Like parenting time - and not having that parenting time encroached upon by ex making excuses and causing disruption.

If she has booked them in for swimming lessons every Saturday morning and says they can't come till Saturday afternoon - that is not on. But you should still let them have the swimming lessons on your week-ends unless you have some other plan - just to keep things smooth and its ok for them anyway. Swimming lessons isn't a good example because it doesn't have to be every week - it could be fortnightly.

 

[Ash]

So have you sent the application off? If so - any news yet? A hearing date or Cafcass interview date?

 

[Clockwork]

Sorry I meant a section 7. We had a dispute resolution hearing where they ordered a cafcass S7 report.

 

[Ash]

Ah ok. So application is in. You've had Cafcass calls and first hearing and Section 7 was ordered. What did the inital Cafcass letter say?

 

[Clockwork]

Well, as you know I can’t say in detail. But I mentioned my concerns about her financial abuse and drinking, she said the same about me. Court Clerk said our accusations cancelled each other out, so there is no fact finding hearing called for. I did say the children wanted to spend more time with me than their Mum, she obviously said they had not shared that with her. And cafcass are to report back about the children. I have requested 7 days with me and then we swap. And that whether there is a lives with order placed with the mother, but I am not sure about the implications of that.
I wondering what I can put forward to push this over the line when Cafcass interrogate me, what she could do to push back, and specifically if she can use the CM deficit as a tool.

 

[Ash]

Cafcass can have a tendency, when both parents make allegations, to say it's "conflict between parents" - which they consider harmful for the child - so to avoid the harmful conflict they can say - child lives with one parent and minimal time with the other. That's the risk - so everything for court needs to be written in a child focused way. But it sounds like they have decided there are no welfare issues with either parent (did they mention conflict between parents?).

In which case, what you want is to get to a final hearing and present evidence and arguments to persuade the court why it should be 50/50.

Assume you haven't had the section 7 report yet?

 

[Clockwork]

There is no mention about conflict between parents.

I am waiting for Cafcass to contact me, I gues ps with a series of interview.

What arguments can I put forward to achieve the 50/50 ?

Thanks for this, it is great to talk the issues over.

 

[Daddy]

The only argument is why 50:50 would be best for children.

 

[Ash]

Exactly - you need to keep it 100% child focused. Cafcass don't like to see one parent being competitive with the other. They do like to see one parent saying the kids love both their parents and have two established happy family homes. They may look round the house (are they coming to the house). So things like having photos around, the kids rooms having kids stuff in - that kind of thing.

Try not to let the focus of the chat be about the ex a lot. Keep it focused on why the children would benefit from stability. How they need to know what days they will be with you with certainty and how you think it would help with co parenting - with a clearly defined order.

The time you start arguing for the 50/50 in any kind of robust way is at final hearing, with a statement and evidence. Meanwhile you need to get Cafcass onside. And warming to you. It might sound like a friendly casual chat but they will be analysing you (and your partner). Might be an idea to both be there. Write some notes out first about things you'd like to talk about, about the kids - the things you like doing together, their interests - it shows your connection with them.

 

[Ash]

If they ask you tricky questions about CM - have some answers prepared. Like

Well I think when it's equal shared care 50/50 it's simpler - we would both share the cost of everything equally and it be a more natural way of providing for the children.

If they ask you about CMS arrears, be straight but brief and say something like, yes I do have some arrears due to reassessment and am paying them back gradually under a payment plan. Then try and change the subject onto the kids without that seeming too obvious. Like - I bought x a new y last week as he really loves music and I'm keen to encourage him in this. And for him to have music lessons.

That kind of thing.

 

[Peanut 21]

That's if Cafcass go to the dads house! In my partners case they went to the mothers but not dads. Was a phone interview.

 

[Ash]

They should do but you're the second person who has said it was just done on the phone. So Section 7's aren't being done properly. I guess they could assess a house by video call though.

 

[Clockwork]

Hi guys, so is it the ‘lives with’ or ‘spends time with’ that the CMS use to decide if they need to be involved ?I have told her that if I get 50/50 time with the kids that I am prepared to pay 50% of childrens costs, but not unless I do. But I’m not sure she is convinced. The funny thing is Regarding CMS, I defaulted one payment and she immediately put me on collect and pay, but since then (4 months ago ), I have been paying less than half of the calculated amount. So the arrears are mounting each month. She is also chasing me for mortgage payments that I missed. I’m in the family home, our only asset, but I am not agreeing to sell or to move out, so the finances are also going through court at the same time.
It sounds from what you are saying that i have a good chance though.