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Will her not doing mediation help me?

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ryan111

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Hello

So the ex said she wanted to do mediation but said cannot do it untill the end of jan due to money (this was back in Nov) I told the mediation company to tell her I would pay and the ex declined. Its now the end of jan. Even tho i have my miam formnto send to the courts shall i give her ONE last chance? Its a matter of days but then the court will see how much I've really tried to push it and shes not intrested

Also there no real safe guarding issuies but if she was going to try pull that stunt would the court take into consideration shes mentioned nothing to the mediation I have 0 text with the ex regarding her saying im any sort of threat

Thank you
 
My take on this: Pretty much sounds like she is not interested, if she has refused and you have some evidence of it, then move to court. I did like you have done, and tried to persuade, waited, delayed, offered to pay. Then I got slapped with a non molestation order and she turned nasty on steroids, this seems quite a common theme, as they can claim domestic violence, then the whole legal side is free. So file your C100 and don't say anything.
 
Thank you

Im expecting a huge amount of lies but id imagine there needs to be some sort of real evidence to support said lies i know it's just a case of ger dragging things out
 
ryan111 said:
Thank you

Im expecting a huge amount of lies but id imagine there needs to be some sort of real evidence to support said lies i know it's just a case of ger dragging things out
Click to expand...
Expect everything, keep all your texts, any documents, anything at all and also keep a diary of events and also try and write a timeline - use your texts, emails and bank statements to help job your memory and keep the timeline document as detailed as possible. Don't tell her about court -otherwise, expect desperate acts to frustrate , delays and to get legal aid ( allegations of Domestic abuse), in the meantime, keep everything civil and polite and don't part company with any info at all.

My number one mistake was to explain what my intentions were if we could not come an agreement, which gave her time to scheme and plan
 
Hi @ryan111 ,

The court will only nominally look at the Mediation part of the process. It favours you that you took the step & offered to pay - as said above, keep those confirmations from the Mediation company filed away.

However hard it may be to push on to court, you will need to realise that if she's not willing to come and Mediate then she is unlikely to grant you access to the children, let alone on the terms you want.

Prep the C100, get your Q5b response on that form properly structured and checked then move forward.

Hope that Helps 🙏 💪
 
This sounds like a delay tactic to me. She is probably putting things in place behind the scenes to get her free legal aid.

Get your MIAM signed off asap and make sure you have evidence of you attempting to negotiate mediation and also pay for it and she's refused.
 
ryan111 said:
Thank you

Im expecting a huge amount of lies but id imagine there needs to be some sort of real evidence to support said lies i know it's just a case of ger dragging things out
Click to expand...

At first it will hurt when you read the untrue and hurtful allegations. But slowly you desensitise yourself and begin to realise that they are only just words on a piece of paper from a spiteful ex who wants to hurt you.

Don't fight fire with fire, this is one big system and you have to play the long game!!
 
I would just get the C100 sent in but let me have a look at the wording first :) You need to remember that your ex will read it and Cafcass will read it, so you want it to come across as non confrontational but factual and calm.
 
From personal experience (and others' experience) I would 100% say that allegations of Domestic Violence are being prepared by your Ex, so get the MIAM signed off ASAP.

My Ex and I did one session of mediation; then my Ex immediately reneged on the agreement made in that one session (to trial one overnight per fortnight), she quit mediation, hired a solicitor and it was only then that the allegations of DV came thick and fast..

The most important thing is not to react when they land (whatever you do, do not confront / text / email her about them) and focus on your own preparation. Ie. do a child oriented health / medical course (which obviously benefits the child too). I did this one, which was online, cheap and quick;

www.minifirstaid.co.uk

Mini First Aid

Mini First Aid offers a range of classes across the UK for all the family; parents, grandparents, carers and for children as young as three years old, training them in basic and life-saving first aid.
www.minifirstaid.co.uk

It will demonstrate to CAFCASS (when the time comes) that you take your child/rens welfare seriously. Do not tell your Ex you're doing it, as she will find a way to counter.

How old are is your child/ren? And how far away from them do you live?

Good Luck!
 
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