Where do I start?

[Noman12z]

Separated from ex Oct 21. I made poor choices and didn't feel she supported me with my mental health. History of drinking and suicide idealisation documented. She had a non molestation out on me six months after we split. She did let me see the kids up until this but I admit I wasn't the best. I've had no contact for 2.5 years. She said third party it would now have to go through court because of concerns but I don't see why she won't just let me see the kids. I haven't applied to court yet. She asked last week by third party again for consent to take them on holiday...said I would give it if she let me see them. No contact since. Am I being unreasonable here, I want to see my kids. What should I do to move ahead?

 

[Roblox]

Hi

How old are the kids?

 

[Noman12z]

7, 12 & 14

 

[Resolute]

In my experience, consent to take a child abroad is not necessary. Especially for a 12 & 14 year old. I wonder if she is asking for consent in the hope that you will refuse. A way of showing the conflict between you both.

It is not unreasonable to want see your kids. It could be seen as unreasonable to deny them a summer holiday. In the end, she is involving you by asking for consent. She should also provide you with full travel details as part of the process. In a way, giving consent may put you in a stronger position. It would also set a precedent of her keeping you informed and working with you on plans. From that ground you may be better placed for your longer term goals.

Unfortunately, 2.5 years ago may have been a better time for you to start. Your 12 & 14 year old will be able to decide on whether or not to see you and they may be heavily influenced by your ex.

All the same, now is better than in 6-12 months time.

To move ahead, I suggest you use resources and advice on here to prepare a C100 application and get it in without any undue delay. If you have tens of thousands of pounds to spare, you could do all this through a solicitor. If not, save your money for barrister representation. Even doing lots yourself and with things going smoothly, you probably need a 'war chest' of about 5-10k. Trying to skimp below that is liable to cost you in the long run.