Very vulnerable and feel afraid. False allegations against me.

[MountainGoat]

Thankyou for your replies.

I get a bit flustered when I don’t know where my life is going.

Funnily enough I got a call from the new solicitor a few moments after I came to reply on here and they’ve said it’s going to cost more money (naturally) as they will need to attend court with me so I may have made the wrong or right decision but I’ve decided to go to the hearing myself.
I’ve asked for all communication to now come to me directly and I will see what happens on the 4th.

There is not going to be a fact finding so apparently that’s good.
The evidence from the non molestation/nonnniccuoation order have been made available (if needed) to the child arrangement hearing.

I’m really not looking forward to the courts requested document from the social worker who clearly has no interest in my concerns but fully supports my stbx.

I am going to tell them in court nothing can be agreed until my evidence is properly looked at.

 

[Ash]

The main point of an interim hearing is to try and get interim time ordered.

 

[MountainGoat]

Hi everyone,

I wanted to give you an update as a lot has been happening.

So... I had the Interim hearing and the CAFCASS officer was there with their report too.
As you are aware I am now representing myself after being made broke by my stbx who had made me have to get a family and criminal solicitor.
She has ruined me!

The interim hearing started with my stbx's barrister re-iterating the allegations of assault, that I had harmed my children, etc.
I interupted her and said this was compltely inapropriate as these allegations were not only lies but no further action was taken.

I can't believe they have a right to bring this up. It's like mentioning the words racism or murderer. The minute you say it the person will think it.
I don't know how they get away with this!

The person listening in the court room was not a judge so said they couldnt make changes at this time. There is so much that needs to be addressed. For example, my mum still has to do drop off and pickups which is a 50 minute trip each way. There is no reason why stbx can't do this if she doesnt interact with me and my mum does handover at the door. The only reason she will not is to keep up the "I'm terrified and vulnerable" act.

Then there is the fact that I am allowed (in the non molestation order) to call the children at 5pm on a Wednesday on stbx's phone. The kids do not have a phone and use their mum's for facetime.
So last wednesday I go to call the children at 5pm on the dot as I'm allowed to. She doesnt pick up.
She knows she should have the children ready to talk to me at 5pm.
I keep on trying several times in case they have missed the call.
I then left a voicemail to prove I am doing my bit and trying to speak to my children so left the voicemail "Hi, I'm just calling as it is 5pm and I'm trying to talk to the children, this is a record so it shows ive tried to call".
I also sent a text to stbx to say I'm trying to call the children and please can you explain why this is not happening as I'm allowed to do so.
Eventually nearly 15 minutes later she got them to answer the call.

BUT.... She has now come out in court that I have broken the non molestation order by texting her and leaving the voicemail. she says I'm "intimdating".
I understand I'm only allowed to call the children but I was trying to get hold of them. So her barrister was all blazing going to tell the court that this week I've broken the order and it has been reported to the police. What on earth is she trying to do! I don't even want to talk to her, it's my kids I want to talk to!

She has now said due to this she will be stopping me calling the kids at 5pm so I won't get to talk to them at all. I've seen it millions of times before where she gets peed off and it will be the children that suffer. It is not at all fair.

She even told the court my children don't like talking to me on the phone. Well ofcourse they prefer to see me face to face, but its not just about them speaking to me, its me wanting to speak to them. And they do enjoy talking to me.
She has no right to stop this.

And ofcourse I'm worried because I suffer from anxiety that the police will come and take me away for something I have done for wanting to speak to my children. She is vile and does not think of the children first at all.

The conclusion of this court hearing is that they are going to do the section7 and fact findings and we now have to go back in a circle (similar to to the non molestation order) where I need to answer her allegations again with a new hearing in June.

It is dragging so much.

And to top it off, she has told the court that if I ever move out of my parents place then she will no longer let me have the kids every other weekend as the only reason she lets them stay with me is because my parents are there and they are safe.
I'be never heard so much bull shit in my life. They are always safe with me.

I took them away to Wales last week when I managed to have them for 5 days over Easter and we had the time of our lives.
They couldnt stop laughing and wanted to stay even longer. Ptrecious memories.

Yet the evilness is my stbx is at maximum level and I don't know what she is going to do next.

The court needs to wake up.

The huge problem is that the court currently advises that any child care arrangements are done and agreed with the family support social worker but she came on the scene when there was the allegation of assault and totally sides with my stbx.
She has at no point taken my concerns seriously on the fact my stbx can collapse at any time, the social worker often talks to me about my time with the children but never looked into the fact my stbx had told the children to lie and is inapropriate, and they totally failed to even look at the fact she said she would harm herself.
I can't get through to her, she hasnt answered my emails in nearly a month and doesnt return my calls. I'm absolutely screwed!

Any advice much appreciated.


Thankyou for reading.

 

[Pj66]

So is there a fact finding hearing for the CAO or not as you said there was no fact find? Any interim contact ordered?

You will not get arrested for texting to say you called as agreed to speak to kids, if she agreed to let you speak to kids and she didn't in the non mol order but she didn't and then you messaged , a judge won't care I don't think, there is nothing unreasonable and I highly doubt anything will happen, if the police come round asking for interview just use in duty solicitor and explain , it will be NFAd I reckon.

It seems to me that she has thrown so much crap she is going to bury herself, she is now doubling down to the Nth degree as she is panicking hard, let her throw everything she has at you, all of it. It's just fuggazi, it isn't real and treat it as such.

My advice would be 100% get a barrister for that final CAO hearing from the sounds of things. scrape all the money you can, loan it if needed. A final hearing with her getting cross examined on absolutely everything and her whole narrative and world will come crashing down!.

Do not do it yourself, that hearing could be the biggest thing you could ever do for your kids, if you want 50 50 you can have it, imagine the nuclear meltdown she will have when caught in 1000 proven lies by a barrister, it will be glorious!

Final push, you can do it and you will be be free to do whatever you want to do with your kids. She will never be able to dictate ever again, you can do this, screw her.

 

[MountainGoat]

Thankyou for your reply pj66.

I'm not good with all this court stuff so basically they've said they are doing a section 7 report. They have already had Cafcass talk to me and my stbx and then the unhelpful social worker has also been asked to submit what they think is best for the kids. I truly however don't think she is the right person to be doing this!
After this section 7 report they want me and my stbx to provide statements to each others allegations and then go from there. They are then going to see if a full fact find is needed, however I think it is. And the way they talk about it it seems like it is going to take place.

Thankyou for the info about a barrister. The next hearing will be to hear the statements but for the final hearing I will try my best to get a barrister.

Reguarding the police, she is throwing anything she can at me. A typical example was when the kids told stbx that they had an awesome time drone flying with me over Christmas. Stbx had never seen the drone but told police it was a high performance video drone that would be used to keep spying and surveillance over her and the house. Crazy!

I am allowed to call the kids at 5pm each week and the fact she told court there were numerous calls was because I was trying to get through to them as agreed, and on time. She wasnt on time!
I then left a voicemail and then a text to say "please could you explain why I cant talk to them as it has been agreed in the non molestation order and I have a right to speak to the children".

In the non molestation order it says I can only call and I made the mistake to text. This was for the purpose of talking to my kids.

I just hoe this doesnt bring me problems as this would be such a complete waste of police time and I have done nothing wrong.

 

[UkDad]

Very sorry to hear this.

The drone allegation sounds ridiculous, I would be surprised if the police pursue that.

While I'm no solicitor, it would reasonable to send a text if ex is not answering your call at the agreed time.

 

[Ash]

It's fairly standard that a section 7 will be done. Your ex is making these allegations because it has now given her a free barrister. Hopefully it won't go to a fact find and will just be a case of submitting allegations and responses and the Judge at the hearing deciding it.

 

[MountainGoat]

I am going to try an call the children at 5pm today. Hopefully she will not stop them talking to me but I have a feeling she will and ofcourse she is once again making them go through hell just because of what happened last week with the message I text her to say Whats going on, I'm trying to talk to the kids.
She has done this several times before, cutting me off and then the kids are the ones that suffer in all this.

Can anyone see any issues with this as it is allowed in the court order and what she said to me about stopping me calling hasnt been actioned or changed in the order.

 

[Pj66]

I am going to try an call the children at 5pm today. Hopefully she will not stop them talking to me but I have a feeling she will and ofcourse she is once again making them go through hell just because of what happened last week with the message I text her to say Whats going on, I'm trying to talk to the kids.
She has done this several times before, cutting me off and then the kids are the ones that suffer in all this.

Can anyone see any issues with this as it is allowed in the court order and what she said to me about stopping me calling hasnt been actioned or changed in the order.

Make the call, video record with another phone of you making that call, if she doesn't answer you have it as evidence , if she kicks off , you have it as evidence. Don't text her at the moment if she doesn't pick up .

 

[MountainGoat]

So I tried to call. She didn’t pick up and the kids have missed out on talking to me.

She says the kids don’t want calls and prefer face to face but well that’s obvious!
But I still want to see how their days been, ask them how they are and check in.

She has no clue and it is the kids that are suffering in all this.

Social worker is as useful as a chocolate teapot and finally got back to me today. (Probably because I logged a complaint) and she says that my stbx has said she doesn’t want me to call the kids anymore. So does that make her the queen who can make every decision.
My stbx has stopped me being in my home. She’s ruined everything with her lies.

I’ve booked a face to face with the social worker as she is clueless and not at all looking into any of the concerns I have.

I’m so pissed off right now with her controlling things yet again.

 

[Ash]

Sorry to hear that. Have you had the order from the hearing yet? See if it says anything about no more phone calls. If not there’s no reason you shouldn’t have them but if ex doesn’t agree there’s not much you can do for now. But can mention it in your next position statement.

 

[Pj66]

did you record your attempt? If there was an order saying you could call kids and she didn't answer , she is breaking the order. Document it

 

[MountainGoat]

Hi,
Thankyou again for all your help.

I did record myself doing the call.

Yesterday I received the order from the court and it mentions that stbx has decided that phone calls will no longer take place.
How they can just make these decisions like that without getting my side is an ongoing thing that seems to be happening. She could do anything and it will get signed off.

I have a meeting scheduled with the social worker where I'm going to put everything on the table. I cant put up with this lady not being efficeient and keeping her eyes closed to everything my stbx is doing.

In the meantime I cant speak to my kids on the phone which is totally wrong.

Oh and get this.....Stbx even said in court that the only reason the kids can see me is when I'm with my mum and dad as they can supervise and make sure the kids are safe! They've always been safe! What right does she have to say this!
And then she says if I get my own place then she won't let me see them as I would be on my own. She is absolutely crazy.

 

[Pj66]

Was the non molestation order and undertaking? With the phone calls agreed as part of it? Who drafted the order? Your solicitor or theirs or was ordered ? Not sure how this works but maybe someone else can clarify if she can just change that

 

[Peanut 21]

Oh and get this.....Stbx even said in court that the only reason the kids can see me is when I'm with my mum and dad as they can supervise and make sure the kids are safe!

Classic. My partners ex has said similar but then contradicts herself saying they're not suitable to supervise as they're scared of my partner

 

[MountainGoat]

Sorry for the quick post but I’ve just found out from my kids tonight that stbx has been telling them I pushed her and caused injuries, involving them in adult matters which she can’t do according to court order.

She’s also been asking them where money came from and what I paid for from the joint account, telling them they are short this month because of me when I (just like stbx) use the money to buy my kids clothes and for taking them out.
Once again involving them in adult business that she shouldn’t do.

This has worried them and they were upset.

How do I let the court know this.
I have emailed the social worker but need to inform the court too.

Thankyou.

 

[MountainGoat]

Just received a threatening letter from her solicitors saying I've apparently broken the non molestation order again.... Saying that I've tried to call her phone twice and a video call around 7:30am on a Tuesday.
Not only is this completly false, at that time I am getting ready and on the way to work. It is complete bullshit!

 

[Scotay]

Just received a threatening letter from her solicitors saying I've apparently broken the non molestation order again.... Saying that I've tried to call her phone twice and a video call around 7:30am on a Tuesday.
Not only is this completly false, at that time I am getting ready and on the way to work. It is complete bullshit!

So why is she bitching to her solicitor and not the police if you have broken this NM?

 

[MountainGoat]

I think it is a control thing. She wants to scare me, send me threatening solicitor letters.
The Police have not come to see me thank goodness for that as it would be a complete waste of time.

Things like this just pi55 me right off.

 

[Scotay]

I think it is a control thing. She wants to scare me, send me threatening solicitor letters.
The Police have not come to see me thank goodness for that as it would be a complete waste of time.

Things like this just pi55 me right off.

I you've done nothing direct the solicitor to only communicate these so called breaches to the correct place, the police, and you wont answer to spurious allegation again from them.