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Very vulnerable and feel afraid. False allegations against me.

Could anyone advise....

- I'm revisting the section on MIAM.
I initially was fed up of nothing was happening and wanted to prioritise childcare arrangements so back in October I started a MIAM. We had even discussed it with stbx. She got mad as she was not the one in control and I had decided to make the move and start the MIAM.
I had my meeting and was later informed a week later that stbx refused to take part. Most likely on advice from her solicitor who would have said she doesn't have to due to making a DV allegation.
So what should I put here? That I've attended one but dont need one as stbx has stopped it from happening?

Thankyou.
 
Could anyone advise....

- I'm revisting the section on MIAM.
I initially was fed up of nothing was happening and wanted to prioritise childcare arrangements so back in October I started a MIAM. We had even discussed it with stbx. She got mad as she was not the one in control and I had decided to make the move and start the MIAM.
I had my meeting and was later informed a week later that stbx refused to take part. Most likely on advice from her solicitor who would have said she doesn't have to due to making a DV allegation.
So what should I put here? That I've attended one but dont need one as stbx has stopped it from happening?

Thankyou.
Hey,

So, if you had that MIAM and they refused to engage you should have recieved a sign-off certificate which is usually valid for 3m, from point of issuing


I'd email them if you haven't had one and ask for it, you'll need to include it in your application.

Hope that Helps
 
Guys, I'm absolutely shaking like a leaf! I've just received an email from my solicitor and it includes information from stbx solicitor for a court extension that shes been granted as "her solicitor was on holiday at the time". Now that's convenient isnt it!

And then I have been sent the 3 witness statements from her which are absolutely disgusting and take things and twist them compltely.
Compared to her first tatement it is clear this one is trying to cover all her tracks and put some "substance" to support her claims.
She makes me out as shouting at her and insulting her on her weight telling her she is too fat, yet later says I used to always feed her cake. Go figure that one!
That I would try and have sex with her at all times.....just because when talking about our relationship I exaplined how important closeness is and to have a special bond together. I never forced her into anything.
The only thing I would do is pull her in for a kiss as any normal husband would do.

I've been accused of scoldering her when she poured a hot kettle over herself when ill. They had never mentioned this until now. This ofcourse never happened.

I've been accused of spying on her and the children, the list goes on.

So I now need to answer all this.

I cant do this. I really cant.
 
Deep breaths.
The courts have seen all this before when divorce applications are put in.
Sadly solicitors put their clients up to it.
I find it odd that the ex could put in such biased witness statements.
Court/solicitor papers always illicit fight or flight emotions. It's normal you feel this way.
 
This is one of my favourite poems @MountainGoat

You can do this.


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
 
Thankyou my friend. That’s a nice poem to read.

I just felt physically sick reading her statements.

As a way of distracting myself and as a new activity to do with the children I invested in a dronne and been flying with the kids.

Her statement says “the children have informed me that he has purchased a high performance dronne and that he has been flying around (place name). I am worried he will be flying around and stalking me.

Note that where I was flying was nowhere near the house and in an area I’m fully allowed to be.

Talk about absolute cluster duck!
It’s absolutely ridiculous.
 
Guys, I'm absolutely shaking like a leaf! I've just received an email from my solicitor and it includes information from stbx solicitor for a court extension that shes been granted as "her solicitor was on holiday at the time". Now that's convenient isnt it!

And then I have been sent the 3 witness statements from her which are absolutely disgusting and take things and twist them compltely.
Compared to her first tatement it is clear this one is trying to cover all her tracks and put some "substance" to support her claims.
She makes me out as shouting at her and insulting her on her weight telling her she is too fat, yet later says I used to always feed her cake. Go figure that one!
That I would try and have sex with her at all times.....just because when talking about our relationship I exaplined how important closeness is and to have a special bond together. I never forced her into anything.
The only thing I would do is pull her in for a kiss as any normal husband would do.

I've been accused of scoldering her when she poured a hot kettle over herself when ill. They had never mentioned this until now. This ofcourse never happened.

I've been accused of spying on her and the children, the list goes on.

So I now need to answer all this.

I cant do this. I really cant.
Thread 'No fact find required'
https://dadswithkids.co.uk/threads/no-fact-find-required.1456/

Post in thread 'No fact find required'
https://dadswithkids.co.uk/threads/no-fact-find-required.1456/post-20196

34 allegations including rape and no fact finding @MountainGoat...

Remove all feelings for her, she is simply and object now that puffs hot air. Hot air can't damage you. Laugh at it.

You've said she is contradicting herself, good, the more contradictions the better. She is trying to make you emotional because emotions stop you from thinking clearly, and she is winning because you aren't thinking clearly and emotional. Be proactive, you are in control, not her.

Look at it like this, the more scared she becomes the more allegations she will make. she is more scared than you are becuse she has nothing, and that's why she has to lie. None of it is real and the courts are going to see this, watch when your barrister tears her apart how fast she is going to back track and unravel. She will throw this many allegations at you to make you think of each one and how you can respond, whereas you won't even need to other than date "allegation denied" next to each one. Thats all you have to do.

get your c100 in now, would love to hear that it's handed in by tommorow and you've got you MIAM certificate from the mediator, as she refused to attend that one she won't be notified. This is good then you can apply and catch her by surprise, hopefully she does something even more stupid to look retaliatory. Also phone the court tommorow and let us know if she filed c100, it wouldn't matter either way.

Her in your c100, absolutely lazer focus on that.

Pull up your socks and forget about her. You are going to get shared care of your kids.
 
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The thing about the drone is madness.
She'll twist every single move you make into a ridiculous allegation.
There will be a day when you can look back and read her lies again and laugh.

My partners ex would use ridiculous catchphrases that we ended up saying in jokey voices to help us get through.
Pick things out she has said you can laugh at to turn your emotions around.
 
You've done really well starting the C100. Just send me over what you've got so far. Page 9 about mediation, you don't tick anything because you need to replace page 9 with the completed form the mediator gives you after mediation sign off. It is the identical page 9 but completed by the mediator and signed by the mediator. As Winger says, if you don't have that, contact the mediator and ask them to send you the sign off form urgently.

This next lot of stuff from the solicitor is all horrible but try really hard to put it to one side and ignore it until you have your C100 in. I actually think it's sounding positive! The more outrageous and ridiculous her allegations get, the less credible she looks. As the saying goes - give them enough rope and they hang themselves :-) Just think "bring it on ..........." (although I know it's not that simple). Keep focused and ignore their nasty letters for a few days.
 
Don't take it personally it's normal, and her solicitor will have helped her word it, focus on C100 and submitting it. Ring the court to find out if she's done a C100 or not, try and do that tomorrow, let us know 💪🏻
 
Your ex and my ex should start a club. Yours is doing you the same favours that mine is, by being a beligerent moron!

This behaviour really rattled me in the early stages, I was being accused of all sorts, but in the first hearing, the judges expression was priceless as she reeled off all this elaborate babble. You could see he was thinking what we were all thinking. What a silly Cow!

Keep the wording in your C100, everything that her spurious claims are not. Honest, calm, rational and professional and focused on the welfare of the children. Not a word about her. She will dig her own hole. Let her fall straight in.

You've taken a massive step forward. Keep going.
 
Hello everyone,
I'm new here and in a place I never thought I would ever be.
I would greatly appreciate any advice. I am married with two children, son who is aged 6 and daughter 8.

We had just come back from a holiday abroad and then it happened...
Just over 3 weeks ago my wife made an allegation of assault against me to the police and I was arrested. This came out of the blue and caused me immense stress and anxiety.

She said she was assaulted. The story she told me the week before was that she was walking, tripped and banged her head on the pavement.
Bizarely her injury seemed to get worse as the week progressed. By Friday she felt dizzy, got admitted to York hospital and then told the paramedics she had been assaulted and thrown against the garage door.
I didnt know anything about this and she later was talking to me as if nothing unusual had happened.

Imagine being happy and enjoying life (Had taken the kids bowling and just returned home) and then the police come and take you away!
Her story didnt add up and I made it clear that I had never assaulted my wife.
It had a huge impact on my job, my family, and living my life. I ended up having to work from my temporary accomodation whilst this was investigated.
I was on bail whilst I waited for investigations to take place and could not go home and had to stay in a AirBnB costing me money.

Fast forward two weeks and the case WAS DROPPED WITH NO FURTHER ACTION which was a huge relief as I had done nothing wrong.
I was able to prove I was nowhere near her at the time too.

The police and her then tried to put in an injunction against me and this went to court.
ONCE AGAIN, THIS WAS DROPPED AND NO FURTHER ACTION TAKEN.

Finally feeling like things were getting better and leaving the court room on a positive note, I saw that I had got a voicemail within minutes of the court hearing ending.

Once again, She had now put a new allegation in against me, saying I harmed my children. I couldn't believe what I was hearing!

AGAIN, within two days of being asked to attend a voluntary interview THE CASE WAS DROPPED AND NO FURTHER ACTION taken against me.


So you should be seeing some sort of pattern here.

The problem I have is that the my wife is trying to stop me coming anywhere near my children or enter my home.
She still thinks I am a threat even though the police have said there is no action to be taken and she is doing anything to make contact harder and stoppping me seeing my children in my own home. I own the home 50/50 and have the right to be there with my kids.

I am now living in fear as to what allegations she could make if I do go home and once the door is closed she could say anything.

I do not know why she is doing all of this. There are much more normal ways if she wants a divorce. This is making things a lot harder for everyone, especially the children. We've had our problems and lifes been tough but nothing to indicate this.
They should be being put first here. She is playing the card that if I come home the children will be upset.....well ofcourse they will becuaue they've hardly seen their dad. She says they have to get used to the new norm and being at home will upset them ---> A norm that she seems to be dictating to them when instead they should see their dad in their own home. That is more familiar to them.

I am wondering what I can do. My wife is either very bright and has been planning this from the beginning to try and take me down in a very twisted way, or there is some massive reason here why she's had to go down this route. A reason I do not understand when the week before we were making plans as normal.

My children are the most important right now and I don't know what I can do.
 
Hello everyone,
I'm new here and in a place I never thought I would ever be.
I would greatly appreciate any advice. I am married with two children, son who is aged 6 and daughter 8.

We had just come back from a holiday abroad and then it happened...
Just over 3 weeks ago my wife made an allegation of assault against me to the police and I was arrested. This came out of the blue and caused me immense stress and anxiety.

She said she was assaulted. The story she told me the week before was that she was walking, tripped and banged her head on the pavement.
Bizarely her injury seemed to get worse as the week progressed. By Friday she felt dizzy, got admitted to York hospital and then told the paramedics she had been assaulted and thrown against the garage door.
I didnt know anything about this and she later was talking to me as if nothing unusual had happened.

Imagine being happy and enjoying life (Had taken the kids bowling and just returned home) and then the police come and take you away!
Her story didnt add up and I made it clear that I had never assaulted my wife.
It had a huge impact on my job, my family, and living my life. I ended up having to work from my temporary accomodation whilst this was investigated.
I was on bail whilst I waited for investigations to take place and could not go home and had to stay in a AirBnB costing me money.

Fast forward two weeks and the case WAS DROPPED WITH NO FURTHER ACTION which was a huge relief as I had done nothing wrong.
I was able to prove I was nowhere near her at the time too.

The police and her then tried to put in an injunction against me and this went to court.
ONCE AGAIN, THIS WAS DROPPED AND NO FURTHER ACTION TAKEN.

Finally feeling like things were getting better and leaving the court room on a positive note, I saw that I had got a voicemail within minutes of the court hearing ending.

Once again, She had now put a new allegation in against me, saying I harmed my children. I couldn't believe what I was hearing!

AGAIN, within two days of being asked to attend a voluntary interview THE CASE WAS DROPPED AND NO FURTHER ACTION taken against me.


So you should be seeing some sort of pattern here.

The problem I have is that the my wife is trying to stop me coming anywhere near my children or enter my home.
She still thinks I am a threat even though the police have said there is no action to be taken and she is doing anything to make contact harder and stoppping me seeing my children in my own home. I own the home 50/50 and have the right to be there with my kids.

I am now living in fear as to what allegations she could make if I do go home and once the door is closed she could say anything.

I do not know why she is doing all of this. There are much more normal ways if she wants a divorce. This is making things a lot harder for everyone, especially the children. We've had our problems and lifes been tough but nothing to indicate this.
They should be being put first here. She is playing the card that if I come home the children will be upset.....well ofcourse they will becuaue they've hardly seen their dad. She says they have to get used to the new norm and being at home will upset them ---> A norm that she seems to be dictating to them when instead they should see their dad in their own home. That is more familiar to them.

I am wondering what I can do. My wife is either very bright and has been planning this from the beginning to try and take me down in a very twisted way, or there is some massive reason here why she's had to go down this route. A reason I do not understand when the week before we were making plans as normal.

My children are the most important right now and I don't know what I can do.

Thankyou.
Sounds like your on the ball. So pleased the police saw the facts. Mine took 11 months of fear of re arrest most guys wait 2 years as I found out through solicitors. It's a game. They are using laws for the protection of harm and manipulating the process. Its planned does the opposite. Over 100,000 of these a year. The feminist groups got support for women. Men do not have the equivalent. Around 18% of females are narcissists and play the system. They harm the kids and are funded to do so. If men and dads allow this to continue society will be destroyed. Men need to unit.
 
These women are a breed of their own. They put their needs before the children.
In an ideal world, children want their parents together.
The next best thing is parents who can communicate and make things easy for handovers etc.
It could be great for kids with separated parents. There's potential for a new step parent on both sides. Which means extra uncles, aunties, grandparents, extra holidays and fun days out.
But the unreasonable side does everything possible to scupper this.
Madness.
Around 18% of women are causing this problem. They shut men down with arguments that we might be a threat whilst harming kids. Men need to unite to protect our children and society.
 
Hi guys,

I'm taking a break from all this as a friend has told me to get away and go down to L0ndon to see him. I think it will do me a world of good.

I can't stand reading the stbx statement as it makes me feel sick. As well as all the points I already mentioned, she also states that I would tell her to have s3x every night and that I forced her to look good and lose weight forthe sake of our marriage. Ofcourse that is total crap.

The one thing that I do have on my mind is that it is parentts evening next week and I've booked myself in for appointments.
Now when I look at the non molestation order that I'm conttesting, it says I am allowed to come to the school for the purpose of collecting the children", which ofcourse isnt happening now she has cut me off seeing them entirely.

My question is am I going to have any problems going to parrents evening? This is just me, she won't be there for this appointment.

Stbx will have seen it in the app that I've signed up for parrents evening so I don't want her sending the police round when all I want is to find out how my children are doing at school.

Thanks everyone. I'm going to take a break this weekend and try and forget everything and finish responding to her evidence next week.
 
Hi guys,

I'm taking a break from all this as a friend has told me to get away and go down to L0ndon to see him. I think it will do me a world of good.

I can't stand reading the stbx statement as it makes me feel sick. As well as all the points I already mentioned, she also states that I would tell her to have s3x every night and that I forced her to look good and lose weight forthe sake of our marriage. Ofcourse that is total crap.

The one thing that I do have on my mind is that it is parentts evening next week and I've booked myself in for appointments.
Now when I look at the non molestation order that I'm conttesting, it says I am allowed to come to the school for the purpose of collecting the children", which ofcourse isnt happening now she has cut me off seeing them entirely.

My question is am I going to have any problems going to parrents evening? This is just me, she won't be there for this appointment.

Stbx will have seen it in the app that I've signed up for parrents evening so I don't want her sending the police round when all I want is to find out how my children are doing at school.

Thanks everyone. I'm going to take a break this weekend and try and forget everything and finish responding to her evidence next week.
No it should have no bearing on that.

If the order states not to go near ex then the fact she won’t be there negates that.

I’d call school just to confirm things and make sure ex won’t be there just to protect yourself and also maybe call the police and advise them of what’s happening. I’m sure I’ve seen advice of that elsewhere in similar circumstances.

Your not banned from the school so as long as your appointment is separate and on a different day to ex then you should be fine but letting police know can protect yourself and show your taking the order seriously(even though I know the order is shocking).
 
Skip parents evening on this occasion. You could email the school saying unfortunately I am unable to attend parents evening on this occasion. Please let me know if you have any concerns about the children and if they are doing ok in school, as at present there is litigation underway between their mother and myself. Kind regards, you.

Good evidence for the future as well as its child focused.

A break sounds good but send your C100 draft to me first :)
 
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